Declaration of Icebreaker Independence

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January 24, 2019

emmy flicker — Photo courtesy of Flicker

Written by: Dhruv Taware

Every term at SFU starts with a lot of new things; new classes, new students, and new construction sites. But amidst all of these, there is one thing that hasn’t changed for years. No, I’m not talking about the fishes in the AQ pond or nobody knowing what the weird avocado statue really means — I’m talking about the awkward first tutorial of the semester.

The first tutorial of the semester is filled with awkward silences, getting lost trying to find your class, and simple icebreaker questions which you cannot answer. TAs try their best to break the frigid silence, asking a wide range of questions from “Tell us something about yourself!” to “Tell us ONE INTERESTING FACT about yourself.”

This is arguably one of the most difficult things to do; you start thinking to yourself, what is an interesting fact about me? Am I even interesting? Do I really need a college degree? Life is meaningless! How can you narrow down 19 years of life into one single fact?

Finally, when it is your turn to speak, you probably say something that someone else said earlier.

I decree that invasive questions that launch us into an existential crisis are out!

For 50 minutes, I want excitement, trepidation, melodrama . . . yes, I want a tutorial icebreaker that allows me to experience the entire plot line of National Treasure (2004) starring Nicolas Cage.
Here’s how it would play out:

The National Treasure Tutorial would ideally take place in the form of a team activity with the group dynamics of The Breakfast Club. This would not only make learning much more fun (just like how National Treasure made federal felonies fun!) but would also create a lifelong friendship between the group members. All of us will be united by our shared experience and eventually we will move to New York and continue being successful in life in a myriad of diverse and eclectic ways.

If all things go according to plan, they might even make a TV show based on our lives. This TV show would undoubtedly win an Emmy for best ensemble cast, and in our speech, we can recall how by sheer luck all of us met in a tutorial at SFU.

That’s right: now, tutorials have the power to CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
But I can only imagine such a possibility. For now, I can only hope that my tutorials get less awkward.

Written by: Dhruv Taware

January Horoscopes

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Peak Web

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January 24, 2019

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Written by: Alannah Wallace, Peak Associate

Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21

You will learn to cut down on your morning routine by wearing the same shirt to bed as you wear to class every day and realizing you can pull your sweatpants over your PJ pants for your 8:30 a.m. classes.

Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19

You tend not to engage in campus events, clubs, or talk to fellow students, while instead sitting in your dark and cramped dorm for days on end. With the moon in full cypress this semester, things can only get worse when you leave the house. Draw the blinds, stock up on canned soups, and don’t go outside!

Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18

Finances may seem tighter than usual this semester. Try to find ways to cut down on groceries. Remember, the less you move, the less precious energy you will waste.

Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20

An overwhelming realization will come over you that Cs get degrees.

Aries | March 21 to April 19

This will not, in fact, be the semester you actually start doing your readings.

Taurus | April 20 to May 20

With your moon in hyper-blueberry this semester, you will have an urge to become healthier only to realize there is never a free treadmill at the SFU gym and the produce section at Nesters Market is constantly picked over at the start of the year.

Gemini | May 21 to June 20

Starting off 2019 with an air of optimism, you will try desperately to make friends in class this semester only to realize that other students don’t want to talk. They just want to go home.

Cancer | June 21 to July 22

You will develop a strange and persistent cough.

Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22

With your creativity soaring this semester, you will attempt to start the club of your dreams. The topic will be slightly obscure, but remember, the Picnic Club is already taken.

Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22

There will be three moons in Saturn this month, meaning time is not on your side. Buy a scooter to commute across campus so you can stop being late to lecture.

Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22

You will develop a strange and mysterious crush on that student across the lecture hall who you happen to make constant eye contact with, and then awkwardly glance away about 40 times a class.

Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21

Try to reduce the amount of times you brag to other students “yeah, I have OCD” when they point out your colour coded notes. The other students will talk to you more.

SFU walkout in support of the Unist’ot’en and Wet’suwet’en peoples results in march to President Petter’s office

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Peak Web

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January 24, 2019

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Written by: Michelle Gomez, News Team Member

At 12 p.m. on January 18, a group of SFU students and other community members participated in a walkout in support of the Hereditary Chiefs of the Wet’suwet’en Nation in light of recent protests against the Trans Mountain Pipeline System.

The details for the Facebook event notes “UNIST’OT’EN WET’SUWET’EN peoples are being arrested on their own land as corporations use RCMP to protect their old world interests in oil, gas and fracking. Resource extraction is dirty and affects us all. Lets [sic] stand for our future and today.”

Once a small crowd assembled, Sundance Chief Ruben George addressed the audience. He started off noting, “I am happy to say that we’re winning [ . . . ] we’ve won over 250 legal victories.” He noted that “Burnaby residents understand the true facts of the destruction that [the pipeline] causes and that’s what we have to educate people on, what’s going on up North.”

“We have a gun to our head, and we’re about to pull the trigger, and we don’t even care. We have to get people to care.”

Chief George finished off by saying “the spirit of the people have spoken and we’re winning. I’m proud of each and every one of you [ . . . ] don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t. Don’t ever let anyone tell you it’s impossible.”

He then passed the microphone off to his son, Cedar George, whom he explained has been actively involved in opposing the Kinder Morgan pipeline, including convincing the World Bank to divest $800 million in tar sands.

Cedar George emphasized the importance of Canadians using our freedom of speech. “Here we have freedom of speech. We have rights. Let’s use those rights [ . . . ] we have the right to be here and talk without being murdered.”

“We’re here to stand up for those young ones, in other countries who don’t have what we have.” He urged the crowd to “get SFU to divest.”

Raven Marsten, the organizer of the event, then announced that it was open mic and anybody could come up to speak.

A number of people used this opportunity, including SFU student and president of the Students of Caribbean and African Ancestry (SOCA) Giovanni Hosang, who announced that SOCA supports the movement, and that “people united will never be divided.”

Following Hosang, an unnamed man who introduced himself as a climate activist and an Indigenous activist explained that “in order for us to actually do something about the climate you have to work with the people who are the most affected by climate change [. . .] I’m very grateful for everybody here, together we can stop this pipeline.”

Marsten then mobilized the group to walk through the AQ with posters while verbally demonstrating their opposition to the pipeline. The march ended at President Andrew Petter’s office, where the group stood outside chanting, eventually entering the office. After inquiring with members in the office, the group discovered that Petter was not present.

According to Hosang in an email to The Peak, the group stayed between 1–2 hours in Petter’s office and were not able to get him on the phone as he was in meetings. However, Dugan O’Neil associate vice-president, research, came to speak to the group.

A video sent by Hosang to The Peak shows O’Neil explaining that “Andrew Petter is off-campus and in a meeting right now, so I am here to hear your concerns.” After receiving an explanation of the protest from both Marsten and Hosang, he responded, “I’m not authorized today to suddenly make a statement on the spot about our position on the things you raised. What I can do is take that request back.”

“We got a commitment that he will reach out to one of the rally organizers,” Hosang wrote in his email.

After The Peak reached out to O’Neil to ask about his interaction with the protest group, O’Neil said that he “pledged to pass along certain key messages from the group to President Petter and to also pass along the contact information (email and phone number) of one of the organizers.”

“I have done those things,” O’Neil concluded.

Kristin Linklater, SFU’s executive director of communications and marketing, made the following statement in an email to The Peak:

“This information was brought to the attention of the president, who has asked for further information to understand the concerns of the group. Once he receives that information, his office will respond accordingly.

“Because the university is a complex organization with a diversity of views, the SFU administration does not take positions on issues of public policy unless they directly relate to the operations of the university.

However, we encourage faculty, staff and students to express their views publicly.”

SFU student Marina Gathright, who was present at the walkout, wrote to The Peak: “While I am incredibly disappointed in the lack of initiative the school has shown on this issue and in their response today, it was great to see many students showing their support.”

HoSang said in his email that the ralliers decided they would come back repeatedly if any decisive actions weren’t taken on behalf of SFU.

When will it click for SFU that iClickers are pointless?

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Peak Web

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January 24, 2019

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Written by Zach Siddiqui, Copy Editor

Excuse me as I do my best Tina Fey-playing-Ms. Norbury voice . . . “Class, raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally victimized by the iClicker.”

For those who haven’t, iClickers are grotsky little devices that some professors force you to buy for in-lecture quizzes. Profs will use them for multiple-choice questions during their lecture. Students click letters on their pre-registered clickers to answer, and their answers get digitally recorded for marks, even if only for participation.

On paper, iClickers rock. They can make lectures more interactive, encourage students to come to class, measure how well the class understands the course material, and make it easier for instructors to give and grade short quizzes.

But while I greatly respect the professors who use them, I consider iClickers to be a terrible, terrible staple of university education. SFU, please, let’s leave them in 2018 with Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s defeated lung cancer.

For one thing, they’re too conveniently cheated. In a large lecture, nothing really stops a untrustworthy student from trusting their iClicker to a friend and ditching for greener, more engaging pastures, like watching the Student Union Building be built at a sad chelonian pace.

As an example, Stanford University’s independent student paper, The Stanford Daily, reported that while clicker fraud at Stanford is documented very rarely, that’s likely just because students often hesitate to snake each other’s underworld dealings. At least one professor told the Daily she “[knew] for a fact that some people hand clickers to friends.”

If it’s happening at Stanford, it’s almost definitely a problem here. It’s ludicrous — I have to attend lecture or lose points, but dishonest students can just cavort about, thriving in their Magikarpy uselessness!

I guess at least the odds are good that I don’t have to deal with iClickers anymore, because they’re rare-to-nonexistent in my degree program. I only had to buy one last semester because of a WQB class, and the same proves true for tons of SFU students.

But that’s just it — I paid around $48 for an irritation I’ll never touch again. And unlike a textbook, this remote taught me nothing.

Students are already infuriated over what we pay the proverbial SFU bagpiper, especially with the recently proposed tuition hikes. (Just look at the ongoing protest campaign, SFU Tuition Freeze Now!) Paying for overpriced, worthless devices on top of that is just rock salt in our angry red raccoon-scratches.

SEE MORE: “Students demand that “SFU Freeze Tuition Now!” as the university plans fee hikes”

Most critically, nobody should be leaning on iClickers as a form of student engagement. I’m sorry, SFU faculty, but some of you must have been raising pet rocks and sea monkeys as kids, because it really shows. None of us should be financially and emotionally taxed because you don’t feel obligated to learn how to draw your students to care and participate on your own oratory merits.

Luckily, my own iClicker-attached classes have been with strong, engaging lecturers, but I’ve heard stories about others who . . . well, I’ll leave it to your imagination. What I’d love to see is SFU stop pushing iClickers and start pushing professors who are better-trained as engaging educators. More than that, I’d love to see the faculty explore better ways to show students that, yes, SFU wants to help them set the tone of their own learning.

That, I can pretty much guarantee, will get students more involved, more engaged, and much more present.

So, yeah . . . I hate iClickers. Maybe you do too, maybe you don’t. Maybe it’s a lot to even bother dissecting such a tiny annoyance (though I maintain it’s no longer “tiny” when it makes up 10% or more of your grade). But even if the conversation seems small or petty, we should know how to look at a part of our education and say, “This isn’t working.”

That sort of critical thinking is a skill you’ll need to build yourself the life you want. It’s also a skill that starts with the small-time, small-stakes stuff — and yes, that includes the banality of the iClicker.

To all the plants I’ve killed before

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Peak Web

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January 23, 2019

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Written by: Jennifer Low, Peak Associate

When I first met you, you were the light of my life. Your image was plastered all down my Instagram feed, and all I wanted to do was learn more about you.

I knew my family and friends didn’t approve.

Words like “you have no time” and “you should be focused on your studies” were hurled at me left and right, but what can I say? Nothing they said mattered; I was obsessed. I made it past your prickly exterior and saw the beauty that lay within. The truth is, I thought I could take care of you… my poor, poor succulent.

But I was wrong. I wanted to be the person you needed, but you never told me that you felt smothered under my care, drowning in my love.

I should have known. After all, you weren’t the first one I’ve had to let go.

Last January, there was another, one who craved my attention and love but received neither. He withered in the darkness, thirsting for care that he never received, a constant reminder on my shelf of my neglect.

In May, I found love anew. I can picture her still, as she sat at the window, beautiful in all her flowery glory, but my love for her dried up and burned. She too, left me… for the compost bin.

There was the one I met last summer, warm and in his element. I can remember him like it was yesterday, all green and golden.

However, summer romances are not meant to last. Though I tried my best to hang on, his colours faded just like the autumn leaves until he withered and was gone . . . probably devoured by the dog.

I found another in November. I thought I’d take things slow, but I neglected her as I jetted off on my eventful Christmas break. Forgotten, she suffered. She now resides amongst textbooks and dust bunnies, and I’m ashamed to say I rarely visit her.

Now I feel as though I must add you to my list too. Dear succulent, I know we only knew each other a short time but . . . I loved you . . . I’m so sorry. I know the truth now; I’m literally less nurturing than a desert.

Grumble: Dating app for group projects

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Peak Web

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January 23, 2019

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Group project dating app - Cora — Cora Fu / The Peak

Written by: Trevor Roberts, Peak Associate

Hate group projects? The answer to your academic qualms is the world’s first group project “dating” app: Grumble! Grumble connects you with the top group members in your class (and the bottom ones, and the ones in the middle) and provides you with all of the information you need to form a half-decent group. Still don’t believe us? Check out these examples below.

Sarah

Third-year chemistry

Langley – 32km away

Look, I don’t want to be really high maintenance, and if you pick me, I’ll do really good work — promise. The thing is, though, I’m not going to be able to meet in person very often.

For one, I live in Langley, and not Langley in the city — I mean Langley in the fields. It takes me two and a half hours to take four buses and a SkyTrain to campus; I’m not coming unless I actually have to. Also, I have work, a ton of extracurriculars, and a well-developed social life that I’m not about to give up on for a breadth class. I am available for 10 minutes before class and 17 minutes after class, no more, no less. If that doesn’t work for you, then swipe left.

Niall

Fifth-year undeclared

Burnaby – 8km away

Hey, this is Niall’s friend Steve. He didn’t want to bother writing his own bio, so here goes.

Niall is what you could call a gamble. On one hand, he might hand in a bunch of rushed, last-minute work for the smallest section of the project possible. One the other hand, he might do nothing. To be fair, he’s just taking this class to help to decide on a major, even though that’s probably not going to happen. Expect him to write less than half as much as is required and read directly off the slides. Good luck.

Gus

Fourth-year business

Burnaby – 1km away

Listen, I’m in my final semester with a 4.0 GPA and more than a dozen prestigious job offers. How’d I do it? Simple: I take things seriously. I’ll obviously do more than my share of the work (quality needs to be kept up), but you’d better be ready to work.

Expect to clear your entire schedule, and yes, that does mean your other classes. Also, don’t think we’re just going to “follow the criteria of the assignment.” I don’t care if it’s a 100-level BPK project” I’m looking for marketable experience, networking opportunities, and something smexy to put on my LinkedIn.

What If . . . SFU had formal school uniforms

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Peak Web

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January 23, 2019

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@RESLUS -Week 3 - Spring 2019 - HypeBust — Illustration by Reslus/The Peak

Written by Gene Cole, Opinions Editor

Even though many of us at SFU are adults in at least our early 20s, it’s common for us to be treated like children just for being students. I’m sure most of us have had the wonderful quips when you tell someone you’re a student, like “Oh, so you don’t have a real job yet,” or “You’re still just learning.”

So why not have something distinctive and boring to wear each day, just to cement how unadult we’re seen as just for being students.

In all seriousness, though, the idea of an email from the school announcing uniforms is a thing of nightmares. Having worn a uniform in elementary school, I can’t help but fear re-experiencing the uncomfortable, cheap suits and ties. The large spending on identical and unnecessarily fancy clothes, as well as the time-sink to keep those fancy clothes clean, aren’t things that any of us deserve to worry about as adults.

This is to say nothing of the style, which — while potentially ‘classy’ — would be bound to be infinitely duller than our personal fashion or comfy clothes. Without our own clothing, we lose a bit of our soul, and that would only feel more painful on top of the loss of time and energy that SFU already inflicts. However the uniform were to look, it would absolutely feel like a formal prison jumpsuit.

Jagmeet Singh comes to Burnaby Clubs Days

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EIC

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January 22, 2019

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Jagmeet Singh with robot — Jagmeet Singh (right) controls a robot created by the Vex Tech club as the club’s president, Avneet Singh Sekhon looks on. (Alex Bloom / The Peak)

By: Alex Bloom

On January 17, Federal NDP Party Leader Jagmeet Singh visited Burnaby Clubs Days at SFU. This comes amidst a by-election for the Burnaby South electoral district, in which Singh is aiming to win a seat in the House of Commons.

At Clubs Days, Singh met SFU students, visited club tables, spoke to them one-on-one, and took photos with them. When asked about his goal in coming to campus and what he wanted to accomplish for students, Singh told The Peak that he wanted to hear what students had to say.

“I always like to take an opportunity to spend time with students and hear their concerns. And so I’ve been hearing folks talk about access to public transit, the cost of tuition, student housing, and how they’re worried about finding a place to live, and the environment. I think those are the biggest things that I heard about.”

Singh went on to say “…students want to see our country, Canada, do more to invest in green energy to transition to a sustainable future. So these are some of the things I heard today, and I’m really excited every time I get a chance to hear young people tell me their ideas.”

After speaking with The Peak, Singh went on to meet more students in the crowded halls of the AQ.

The SFU NDP club was also present and posted on Facebook later that day to show their support for Singh.

“It was a pleasure to have Jagmeet Singh come up to SFU today for our clubs day and help us represent the NDP,” the post read. “He showed true passion for people of all nationalities, ethnicity and religions by stopping at every table and talking to students.”

For any students who would like to meet more politicians, the SFU NDP club will be hosting a pub night at Club Ilia on Jan. 24 at 6:30 p.m. Katrina Chen, MLA of the Burnaby—Lougheed electoral district, will be attending.

Political Corner: Canada is being put in the crossfire created by China’s conflict with the US

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Peak Web

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January 22, 2019

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CPT108521240 — Huawei's chief financial officer Meng Wanzhou (Photo courtesy of The Canadian Press/Darryl Dyck)

Written by Kelly Grounds, Peak Associate

In December 2018, the CFO of Huawei, a Chinese telecommunication and electronics company, was detained by Canadian authorities in Vancouver. Authorities detained the CFO, Meng Wanzhou, to assist US authorities seeking Meng on charges of fraud.

Even though this is a conflict between the US and China, Canada is taking much of the fallout of their diplomatic fight based entirely on our country’s role in the arrest.

While conflict with China and Chinese businesses isn’t necessarily new for Canada, such conflict seems to have flared unsettlingly, as China now seems to be conducting their own series of Canadian detainments. The first two of these detainees were Michael Kovrig, a diplomat on leave, and Canadian entrepreneur Michael Spavor.

Over 10 other Canadians have been separately detained within China in the past month, though at least eight of them had been released as of January 3. While China claims these each to be seperate and matters of security, it’s hard not to interpret these cases as a response to Wanzhou’s detainment.

Another detained Canadian, Robert Schellenberg, could be the most serious victim of this pattern. Schellenberg was arrested, charged, and sentenced to 15 years in prison for involvement in a drug smuggling plot in November. However, a Chinese appeal court recently ordered a retrial in Schellenberg’s case in demand of stronger charges.

Following the retrial on January 14, Schellenberg was sentenced to the death penalty. With that in mind, if the call for a retrial was in fact influenced by China’s recent feelings towards Canada, it would be greatly concerning.

What’s important to remember is that this is not Canada’s fight; they merely assisted the US in their investigation. But purely by their choice of ally, Canada has now become a target in this economic and diplomatic war between two other nations. It puts Canada in an unfair position, forced to choose between their neighbour and their own citizens.

Rise of Low Rise Jeans

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Peak Web

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January 22, 2019

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jeans wuestenigel — Photo courtesy of Wuestenigel

Written by: Hannah Davis, Peak Associate

Pros and cons of low-rise jeans coming back into fashion

Hey there, it’s me, the official Peak Jeans Expert*, coming at you hot with an extremely biased list of the pros and cons of low-rise jeans coming back in fashion!

Pros	Cons
No more danger of mom butt! Traditionally, high-waisted jeans are associated closely with “mom butt,” the phenomenon where the butt looks long and flat as opposed to short and plump. (Popular media teaches us that it is good and desirable to have a short, plump butt). Low-rise jeans protect against flat butt, because in this style of jeans, the bum and glutes have nowhere to go but out. I argue, however, that no one considers that maybe I like my mom butt!	Low-rise jeans provide less room to hide snacks High-waisted jeans allow not only for snack storage in the pockets, but snack storage in the conveniently long waistband in the pants. Everyone knows that granola bars, chocolate bars, or any other flat snack can be stored in the extra fabric in high-waisted pants, and so provide prime extra real estate for snack storage and transportation. Low-rise jeans provide no such luxury and are therefore inferior.
Saves time by not having to unzip a long fly Ever think about all the time you waste when you have to pee and you must unzip that miles-long fly on high-waisted jeans? Fret no more! Now that low-rise jeans are coming back in style, you can save fractions of seconds unzipping the relatively short fly of a classy trouser.	Less fabric = Less comfort The less fabric there is on a garment, the less comfortable. This rule will work when comparing any two pieces of clothing. A mumu is more comfortable than a bodycon dress. A toque is more comfortable than a swim cap. Boxers are more comfortable than a speedo. Wearing high-waisted jeans is more comfortable than wearing low-waisted jeans. It’s simple science, people.
Easier to show someone your belly button You know that relatable situation we all find ourselves in every day when you get the sudden urge to show your belly button to someone? Low-rise jeans facilitate this reveal.	Low rise jeans provide less pocket space Pocket space is precious jean real-estate. When we reduce waist height, we are robbing jean-wearers of beautiful havens for their hands, spare change, and lint.
Saves fabric for more high-rise jeans The fabric saved in making low-rise jeans instead of high-waisted ones can be used to make a fashionable jean tube top, a headband, or more high-rise jeans.	Crop tops aren’t the same Crop tops which expose a tiny rectangle of skin in high-waisted pants will reveal the entire tummy, belly button, and foodbaby in low-rise pants. This is an obvious CON because my foodbaby is my business.
No fabric on tummy allows for refreshing ventilation Low-rise jeans allow for more efficient airflow under the shirt, which just means that your midriff won’t be delicately and comfortably swaddled in your jeans’ loving embrace.	Always in imminent danger of having underwear or even (dare I say) the butt crack show The design of low-rise jeans means that with any forward-bending motion, the rear is always in danger of being revealed to some unfortunate degree.
Frees and accentuates your muffin top Be free, little friend!	Frees and accentuates your muffin top Be a little less free, little friend!
Sales on high-rise jeans imminent Keep your eye out for sales on beautiful, comfortable jeans now that ugly, uncomfortable jeans are coming back in style! Soon, you’ll be wearing an entire outfit made from discount high-rise jeans!	Need to buy a new belt Your belt meant for your waist will no longer fit when trying to use it for your low-rise jeans. The money you spend on a belt for your silly new pantaloons could be spent on something important, like tuition, a gift for your grandma, or 100 pounds of lentils.
People will mistake you for Britney Spears Get practicing your Britney Spears impressions because everyone will think you are her! Get ready for fame, fortune, and all the glory that comes with being Britney!	People will mistake you for Britney Spears Britney Spears is the only celebrity who has ever worn low-rise jeans, and so everyone is going to be mistaking you for her. Get ready for a lot of people asking for your autograph and singing “Circus” at you in the middle of the street while you’re just minding your own business.
You will miss high-rise jeans so much that you’ll entirely stop stressing about school work and other important commitments See ya later, school stress! See ya never, responsibility!	You will stay comfortable in the high-rise jeans you love so dearly Unless you DARE to go against that which is “in style.” In that case, you can continue to wear out-of-fashion jeans to your heart’s content!

*Self-appointed title