Rise of Low Rise Jeans

Photo courtesy of Wuestenigel

Written by: Hannah Davis, Peak Associate

Pros and cons of low-rise jeans coming back into fashion

Hey there, it’s me, the official Peak Jeans Expert*, coming at you hot with an extremely biased list of the pros and cons of low-rise jeans coming back in fashion!

ProsCons
No more danger of mom butt!
Traditionally, high-waisted jeans are associated closely with “mom butt,” the phenomenon where the butt looks long and flat as opposed to short and plump. (Popular media teaches us that it is good and desirable to have a short, plump butt). Low-rise jeans protect against flat butt, because in this style of jeans, the bum and glutes have nowhere to go but out. I argue, however, that no one considers that maybe I like my mom butt!
Low-rise jeans provide less room to hide snacks
High-waisted jeans allow not only for snack storage in the pockets, but snack storage in the conveniently long waistband in the pants. Everyone knows that granola bars, chocolate bars, or any other flat snack can be stored in the extra fabric in high-waisted pants, and so provide prime extra real estate for snack storage and transportation. Low-rise jeans provide no such luxury and are therefore inferior.
Saves time by not having to unzip a long fly
Ever think about all the time you waste when you have to pee and you must unzip that miles-long fly on high-waisted jeans? Fret no more! Now that low-rise jeans are coming back in style, you can save fractions of seconds unzipping the relatively short fly of a classy trouser.
Less fabric = Less comfort
The less fabric there is on a garment, the less comfortable. This rule will work when comparing any two pieces of clothing. A mumu is more comfortable than a bodycon dress. A toque is more comfortable than a swim cap. Boxers are more comfortable than a speedo. Wearing high-waisted jeans is more comfortable than wearing low-waisted jeans. It’s simple science, people.
Easier to show someone your belly button
You know that relatable situation we all find ourselves in every day when you get the sudden urge to show your belly button to someone? Low-rise jeans facilitate this reveal.
Low rise jeans provide less pocket space
Pocket space is precious jean real-estate. When we reduce waist height, we are robbing jean-wearers of beautiful havens for their hands, spare change,    and lint.
Saves fabric for more high-rise jeans
The fabric saved in making low-rise jeans instead of high-waisted ones can be used to make a fashionable jean tube top, a headband, or more high-rise jeans.
Crop tops aren’t the same
Crop tops which expose a tiny rectangle of skin in high-waisted pants will reveal the entire tummy, belly button, and foodbaby in low-rise pants. This is an obvious CON because my foodbaby is my business.
No fabric on tummy allows for refreshing ventilation
Low-rise jeans allow for more efficient airflow under the shirt, which just means that your midriff won’t be delicately and comfortably swaddled in your jeans’ loving embrace.
Always in imminent danger of having underwear or even (dare I say) the butt crack show
The design of low-rise jeans means that with any forward-bending motion, the rear is always in danger of being revealed to some unfortunate degree.
Frees and accentuates your muffin top
Be free, little friend!
Frees and accentuates your muffin top
Be a little less free, little friend!
Sales on high-rise jeans imminent
Keep your eye out for sales on beautiful, comfortable jeans now that ugly, uncomfortable jeans are coming back in style! Soon, you’ll be wearing an entire outfit made from discount high-rise jeans!
Need to buy a new belt
Your belt meant for your waist will no longer fit when trying to use it for your low-rise jeans. The money you spend on a belt for your silly new pantaloons could be spent on something important, like tuition, a gift for your grandma, or 100 pounds of lentils.
People will mistake you for Britney Spears
Get practicing your Britney Spears impressions because everyone will think you are her! Get ready for fame, fortune, and all the glory that comes with being Britney!
People will mistake you for Britney Spears
Britney Spears is the only celebrity who has ever worn low-rise jeans, and so everyone is going to be mistaking you for her. Get ready for a lot of people asking for your autograph and singing “Circus” at you in the middle of the street while you’re just minding your own business.
You will miss high-rise jeans so much that you’ll entirely stop stressing about school work and other important commitments
See ya later, school stress! See ya never, responsibility!
You will stay comfortable in the high-rise jeans you love so dearly
Unless you DARE to go against that which is “in style.”  In that case, you can continue to wear out-of-fashion jeans to your heart’s content!

*Self-appointed title

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