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Possible election fraud holds grave implications for Canada

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EIC
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By Benedict Reiners
Photos by Remy Steinegger

The first-past-the-post-system, which Canada uses in its federal elections, has been referred to as an “elected dictatorship.” This term reflects a system that operates off of the premise that the election winner more or less gets to do whatever they want to push forward their agenda. But what happens when someone isn’t really elected, and still gets to help form this elected dictatorship?

The Supreme Court is looking into this very question right now, as it reviews a case of potential election fraud in Ontario. This fraud is alleged to have taken place in the Toronto riding of Etobicoke Centre, now held by Conservative MP, Ted Opitz, after he won the previous election by a total of 26 votes. The controversy centers on 79 voters that were found to have cast a vote without providing evidence that they were permitted to do so. An Ontario court has already deemed that these charges are sufficient to throw out the election results.

Regardless of one’s preferred party, it is easy to see that if the ruling overturns the results of the riding’s election, it will provide an easy target for opposition parties to attack. It is not only ethical that the Conservative Party does something to ensure that nothing like this happens again, but also in their strategic interest. It is for this reason that we can hope that the Conservatives, a party not exactly known for progressive stances on social or ethical issues, will actually act in this case. The party must send the message that change is happening, and although the best thing would be to provide additional legislation to prevent problems like this from occurring in the first place, even declaring that they won’t allow Mr. Opitz to run as their candidate would be a good start.

However, though only strategic reasons may convince the government to properly address this issue, others bear mentioning as well. Foremost amongst these are the implications that the upcoming Supreme Court ruling for our electoral system. If we do not root out these problems, we will be dealing with a much longer and far more enduring problem than 79 votes and a seat that is not needed to maintain a majority. This is as much about the political culture in our country as it is about Etobicoke Centre, if not more so, and the actions taken, both by the government and the Supreme Court, must reflect this. If they don’t, they will be creating a culture that could potentially remove voters from the elections process.

If the government is confident that their candidate actually won the riding, then they shouldn’t be afraid of a by-election. Yes, money is tight for both Canadians and the government right now, but elections are and always will be a good use of our money.  Maybe democracy has a cost, but it is a cost still worth paying. If this government wants to get tough on crime, they need only look as far as the election to prove it.

It’s time to pack in the cigarette pack warnings

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EIC
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By Jon Liedtke — The Lance (CUP)
Photos by Greg Hertz

Windsor (CUP) – The majority of us get it: cigarette smoking isn’t good for you. In fact, it’s downright bad for you. Tobacco use can cause many diseases including heart attack, stroke, emphysema, and cancer. It increases the risk of Crohn’s disease and is the number one cause of bladder cancer.

According to the World Health Organization, roughly 100 million people have died from tobacco use over the course of the 20th century.

From grade school to the end of high school, the majority of educational institutions teach the ills of smoking, and how bad a choice it is to make.

The majority of anti-tobacco messaging, while well-intentioned, doesn’t seem to work. People still smoke at alarming rates. Anti-tobacco literature is placed in every store that sells tobacco, but people still use the products.

The most dramatic form of anti-tobacco literature is on cigarette packaging itself. Legislation from Ottawa last September now requires new labeling on cigarette packages, which covers 75 per cent of the package, and aims to “horrify smokers into not smoking.”

Indeed, with graphic pictures of a cancer-infected mouth or a 42-year-old woman dying of cancer, the images are horrifying. Considering we have a publicly funded health system, I can fiscally understand why the government would want to promote a tobacco-free lifestyle.

The merits of the program aside, many who don’t smoke are offended by the program as well. While cigarettes are hidden behind sealed displays at stores, anyone around a smoker sees these new ads.

Those who don’t even smoke are being levied the burden of being “horrified into not smoking.” They’ve already made the choice not to smoke, so why punish them as well?

Smoking tobacco is a deadly addiction that often claims those closest to us. Having lost family members to smoking, I stand by the government in actively attempting to discourage smoking.

However, I must distance myself from the government in their legislation of cigarette packages. The year is 2012, and we don’t have doctors prescribing cigarettes, or 1950s tobacco jingles devised by Madison Avenue advertisers.

It’s time for the government to treat citizens like educated adults. If the government is seeking to lower tobacco use, provide incentives. Conversely, they could increase taxes on tobacco.

Either way, something should be done that doesn’t limit the ability of a company to determine its packaging. Perhaps we can move as other countries have and simply ban any tobacco-related advertising — thus hiding it entirely from our society.

Ski Ninjas: Scrabble

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EIC
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By Kyle Lees at Ski Ninjas

The dos and don’ts of breaking up

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EIC
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By Ms. X

“My partner and I just broke up. It was my first serious relationship in university and I have no idea how to handle it. We’re in the same friend group so we are constantly around each other. Please help me!”

Ending a relationship is never easy. Whether it was mutual or one-sided, everyone needs time to heal and move forward.  Here is a sexy do and don’t list to give you a basic idea of how to handle your breakup and enjoy your single life.

DO: Find a good group of friends. If you shared a lot of friends with your ex, it may be time to contact some friends outside your main group or pick up a part time job with a young, fun staff. Having a fresh group of people around you will make the transition easier, and a little harmless flirting with a co-worker is never a bad way to kill time at work.

DO: Keep busy. After a relationship ends, you are usually left with a lot of free time. Use this newly freed up time to do something just for you. Why not pick up that guitar you told yourself you would learn to play? Not being tied down, your summer is open for anything so grab some friends (and definitely some hotties) and plan a road trip or hit the beaches.

DO: Spend some “me time.”  One of the biggest things missing after a breakup is your sex life. Though one path to take is hitting the bar and finding someone for the night, a safer and likely a more satisfying option is have some solo fun. Treat yourself to a new toy and take some time to discover that you may be all you need to maintain a healthy sex life.

DO NOT: Stay in bed and mope all day. Its summer! Get out there and meet new people. You don’t need to be on the lookout for the next Mr. or Ms. Perfect right away, but a rebound never hurts! Go out with some friends and flirt freely. A little attention is always nice.

DO NOT: Jump right into another relationship.  Rebounds are a fun way to transition into singledom, but don’t get carried away with someone. By moving quickly into a new partnership, you risk bringing your past relationships issues with you, which isn’t fair to you or your new partner. Give yourself time to be single and mingle!

DO NOT: Bombard your ex with texts or phone calls. It can be hard to move on right away but it is important to give your cell a rest from dialing their number. Constantly trying to contact them will only make things harder for you and most likely only annoy your ex.  When you pick up that phone and have the urge, text your bestie or bro, or even better, that cutie who gave you their number at the pub last night.

Breakups are never fun, and it can be hard to distance yourself from your ex if you run in the same circles. Just remember to look on the bright side, single life opens up doors all over the place. A hottie rebound might be what you need to give your solo persona a boost, and a new toy may lead to a more satisfying sex life than you had before. Being unattached, your summer is open to all kinds of new experiences and adventures so DON’T waste time being bummed out, and DO go out and embrace your single life!

Campus Update: July 16, 2012

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EIC
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SFU voted 394th in top 1,000 over 1,000

In a recent polling conducted by popular Canadian news magazine MacLeans, SFU was ranked 394st, dropping 7 spots from its 2012 ranking. The 1,000 over 1,000 ranks the top 1,000 post-secondary insititutions situated over 1,000 feet above sea level.

The ranking draws on data from multiple sources and rates the institutions based on factors such as undergraduate satisfaction, student to instructor ratio, number of graduates produced yearly, thickness of air at peak, and height. For the past decade SFU has repeatedly failed to break the 350th mark, coming its closest in 2003 at 353rd. UBC Nepal is currently ranked 205th overall.

When questioned about the poor rating given to the school, SFU president Andrew Petter declined to comment, but was heard angrily grumbling about “it all being politics.”

 

— Henry Henderson

 

Public displays of affection banned on campus

By royal decree of Lord Petter himself, as of July 16, 2012, any and all expressions of affection between students at SFU are forthwith forbidden.

Public displays of affection, also known as PDAs, will hereby be monitored both by invisible CCTV, as well as over 150 specially trained plain-clothes PDA police patrolling the campus.

Any two caught holding hands, adorably feeding each other, or wistfully gazing, will be expelled immediately. Their transcripts will reflect a failing grade in all courses taken and all collected tuition will be rendered forfeit.

Students are encouraged to maintain a safe distance of 3 meters between each other at all times and to report any errant behaviour to one of three dozen newly erected PSA reporting stations. Conduct yourselves accordingly.

 

— Paul Hurst

 

Calendar error gives students latest possible enrollment date

While others might gripe about their July 21st, 24th or even 28th enrollment dates, complaining that by then all the good tutorials will be gone, second-year communications student Samantha Konstantina doesn’t have that luxury. Her enrollment date is August 2nd, 2016.

Due to a computer error, the automated uRecords system has set the enrollment date of the unlucky student to just over four years away, the average length of an degree at SFU.

In an official letter to Konstantina, SFU registrar writes, “Although we deeply regret the consequences of our error, it is the strictest policy of the Registrar’s Office not to change the enrollment date of any student.”

When asked if she would spend her new free time preparing for her degree by auditing classes. Konstantina responded, “No, that seems like a waste of time.”

 

– George Giordano

Where are they now?

By
EIC
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Ever wonder what happened to those celebrities who were everywhere back then, but have since fallen off the face of the earth? Well, stop asking yourself stupid questions and find out where they are — now!

 

Joseph Kony

Former African Warlord

Following the KONY 2012 campaign, former head of the Lord’s Resistance Army Joseph Kony was forced into hiding after a massively negative response on his Facebook feed. Today the former child soldiers are free to do as they please whether that be diamond mining, scrounging for scrap metal or weakly batting away flies.

 

Icing

Drinking Game

The popular marketing scheme and drinking game created by Diageo to sell Smirnoff Ice, the fruit-flavoured nail polish remover, has since been retired in favour of their new campaign, where people smash full bottles of the drink against the skulls of their friends while shouting “You got Cuss’D!” The new campaign is expected to earn over $25 million the next year alone.

 

Danny Wadzinski

The one weird kid from your 2nd grade class

Daniel Wadzinski now lives a modest rancher style home in Campbell River with his wife Sharleen and their newborn daughter Jessica. Just kidding, the last time anyone saw Danny Wadzinski, he was living behind 7-Eleven on Robson offering handy-Js in exchange for clean needles. But what do you expect, I once saw the kid eat a glue stick like it was a banana. That’s fucked up.

Petter Watch: July 16th

By
EIC
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Analysis of SFU’s viability as a fortress during zombie warfare found in Petter’s desk drawer.

Opponents of no-zero marking fail to see the benefits

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EIC
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By Jamie Mason — The Carillon (CUP)

REGINA (CUP) – For anyone unclear of the concept, the no-zero policy is a recent trend in schools that attempts to hold students accountable for their work and set the real criteria for grading. This has brought to light the education system’s double standards for grading criteria.

Some teachers have raised complaints about the no-zero policy even for late work, but what does the zero represent, really? Students are being penalized on their behaviour instead of ability. Students don’t receive higher marks for handing in their assignment earlier, so why should they lose marks for handing it in late?

Also, what are those numbers supposed to represent? According to the policy, students who refuse to either do the work or hand in enough to be evaluated will be marked as “unable to evaluate.” This sets the real criteria for students’ assignments as what they have written, rather than when they handed it in.

Lynden Dorval, an Edmonton high school teacher, was recently “suspended indefinitely” for giving out zeroes after the policy was adopted.

“To me, this is just not working,” Dorval told the Edmonton Journal “It’s a way of pushing kids through and making the stats look good, but at what cost?”

Dorval apparently neglected to read the schools’ Assessment, Grading, and Reporting Practice. Students with incomplete or missing assignments are still held accountable. However, the method of evaluation has changed.

The no-zero policy is commonly accompanied by another policy allowing students to hand in work long after it is due with no penalties on their grade. Instituted instead is a dual grading system. Students will be graded on the content of their assignment, as well as their behaviour. According to the Ross Sheppard School Assessment, Grading, and Reporting Practice, “[if] an assignment [is] not completed on time, or an exam missed due to illness, the teacher will arrange an alternate time when the student can complete the assignment. A behaviour code will be entered in the mark book until the assignment is completed.”

These behavioural codes range from “not handed-in” (NHI) to “chose not to attempt” (CNA) or even skip.

This method is far more practical for a variety of reasons, one being that employers want to know how well a student can work and meet deadlines, not necessarily how well they can write an essay. If students were graded using two report cards, one for behaviour and one for academic achievement, they would be held accountable for their behaviour without penalizing their ability. The behavioural report card would allow employers an actual understanding of the potential employee’s work ethics and conduct.

Many people against the policy argue that it doesn’t set students up for the real world or hold them accountable, but these policies are attempting to do something much more than that: they are trying to fix a broken system.

Word on the Street: Batman

By
EIC
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0

“If you knew anything about Batman, you’d know the last true Batman was George Clooney.”

Lisa Hoefstra (Useless hipster)

 

“The Dark Knight Rises is going to be awesome! I sure hope Bane says something I can mindlessly parrot in social situations for the next three months!”

Donald Smith (Already in line)

 

“Good riddance, I mean what exactly does this ‘bat’ man have to do with real bats? Hey Nolan, maybe next time spend a little more time researching bats and a little less on concocting overelaborate plots. “

Rob-bat (Actual Bat)

 

“Riddle me this, who has two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap.”

The Riddler (Rejected supervillian)

 

“It looks pretty good. But to be honest, I’ve always been more of a Superman guy.”

David Dyck (Mild-mannered reporter)

Point//Counterpoint:My dad could beat up your dad

By
EIC
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0

By Brad McLeod

Point:My dad could beat up your dad 

Billy (2nd grade student/ Proud son)

 

Listen, I know this only started because you wanted a sip from my juice box and I wouldn’t’ let you so you threatened to beat me up but . . . I think I need to let you know that my dad could totally kick your dad’s ass. I mean, really, who are we kidding? My dad is amazing. He’s like seven feet tall and can lift around, I’ll say, a million pounds. Now, I’ve never seen your dad but I’m sure he’s way weaker than that. Plus, my dad is the best at punching. Ask anyone. Ask my mom. Ask any of my moms. Sometimes he practices his punches on me. My dad’s so good at punching and kicking that one time, my mom had to phone the police and then he was so strong that they had to use a Taser just to stop him from beating them all up. And my dad’s super smart too. He’s gotten fired from every job he’s had because he’s always smarter than his bosses and he doesn’t even have to pay taxes because he lives out of his van and the government doesn’t know where he is. My dad’s really important too. He always has to go to meetings downtown where he wears a suit and sometime even this tough-looking orange jumpsuit.  He’s so busy that he hasn’t even had time to visit me in over a year. He’s always too occupied with drinking packs of his “loopy juice” and fighting with his friends at the park. So I think I can confidently say that there’s no way your dad would stand a chance against my dad in a hypothetical fight.

 

Counterpoint: Goddammit he’s right, my dad’s a total pussy

Tony (Classmate/ Ashamed son)

 

Shit, you’re right. I wish I had your dad, mine is such a wuss. First of all he’s only six feet tall and there’s no way he could lift a million pounds. He’s lucky if he finds time for the gym in between coaching my little league team and helping me with my homework. And I don’t think I’ve ever seen my dad punch anyone. My mom wouldn’t even know, it’s never come up during any of our family board game nights or outings to the park for kite flying. And he’s definitely never practiced his punches with me; hell, he doesn’t even like me playing violent video games — he always says we should be going outside and playing catch. What an asshole! And my dad must be a moron because he always has to pay his taxes and has never been fired at any of the engineering firms he’s worked at. Plus, my dad certainly isn’t as important as yours, he doesn’t even wear an orange suit on casual Friday. I mean, he’s always there for me, he doesn’t drink “loopy juice” and him and his friends just play cards for fun. No fighting, just cards! Your dad could probably take mine down in one punch. Anyways, since there’s no chance of them actually fighting, I’m just going to beat you up myself. Unless you want to reconsider that juice box sip? No? Alright, let me know if this is anything like the way your dad punches.

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society