Best Hanukkah traditions I just made up

Wintertime in North America is a fun time for goys, as you deck your halls and also everything else to the point where there...

How to be an SFU gold digger

Post-secondary academics suck your wallet dry and flood your calendar with to-dos. But if you can make some time in your busy life to...

Who’s your SFSS sweetheart?

It’s that time of year again! What time of year you ask? Christmas? No way, you silly son of a pancake-headed fuck. It’s mid...

Political parties as vibrators

Democrats You weren't really sure about this one. The packaging was nice and celebrities keep endorsing it, yet you've heard so many questionable things about...

An Ode To TransLink

TransLink You suck Angry bus drivers Get fucked I understand your job is arduous and hard But you are not Columbus, Magellan, Picard Why can’t the bus come on time? Why does a...

SFU Contagion

The following are excerpts from one fearless investigative journalist, who risked their personal well-being to bring the truth to public attention. Their research began...

How to have sex as an SFU student

How can I incorporate more SFU school spirit into my sex life? It’s a question we’ve all asked ourselves at one time or another...

The Patronus you need

Someone doing the Pottermore Patronus quiz got a rat. That's like making out with Hermione, but halfway through the lip-locking session the Polyjuice Potion wears...

The official Peak Transit survival guide

By: Vincent Justin Mitra, Peak Associate Where will you be when the world ends? Will you be in the library, cramming for that test? Will...

Seven existential thoughts you’ve had in a Starbucks line

1. When the only thing that's popping in your life is the cake pop   They look like the life of the party on the food shelf...