Multicolored Reptilian alien found beneath the ‘secret basement’ in Trottier Observatory

Like you, I have walked by the Trottier Observatory wondering tirelessly as to its “true” purpose on Burnaby mountain. While the mission statement upon...

How to make a cult classic B-movie

1. Anything with “cop” in the title is sheer gold: whether it be Wolf Cop or Samurai Cop, anything directly stating the protagonist is...

The Spider Curse is a fate worse than death!

Springtime is once again nearly upon us. While some may be excited for the blossoming flowers and warming weather, a great threat lurks among...

The Valentine’s Day cards that the SFU bookstore refused to stock

Illustration by Serena Chan Illustration by Janis McMath Illustration by Zachary Chan Illustration by Christina Kruger-Woodrow "You've Stalin my heart!" Illustration by Tia Young "I'd let you see my browser...

Wrong point / wronger point: man braids vs mullets

Yes, the man braids are a gift from Mother Earth! By Luca Boyega, SFU Student The man braid has come into contact with a lot of...

An open letter to Guadalupe burritos

Dear Guadalupe burritos, You don’t know me, but boy, do I know you. My name is Max Hill. I’m the editor-in-chief of the very newspaper...

HUMOUR: DJ Khaledism becomes a registered religion in America

In a shocking move, The Best Master Key Church of Khaled — or DJ Khaledism, as it more commonly referred — has been given...

HUMOUR: SFU’s men’s rights activists protest new “friend zone” bench unveiling

The unveiling of a new mental health initiative is driving one group at Simon Fraser University out of their mind: the MaleMen, a men’s...

HUMOUR: Please consider donating to the North American Foundation For Improved Bald Eagle Literacy

Please be advised that parts of what you’re about to read might be difficult for some individuals. The following contains many hard-hitting truths that...

HUMOUR: How to avoid offending anyone with your Halloween costume this year

Let’s face it: we’re not celebrating your grandparents’ Halloween, when bottles of Coke cost a nickel and Sun-Maid raisins were the hot new item...