Paranoia that LinkedIn is watching

LinkedIn can you LinkOut?

0
140
Someone is making coffee with their laptop open. Their LinkedIn page is on the screen and a man dressed in business casual is coming out of the screen to spy on the laptop user.
ILLUSTRATION: Cliff Ebora / The Peak

By: Sarah Sorochuk, Peak Associate and C Icart, Humour Editor

Do you know the feeling right after you post something online? The doubt and fear that seeps in, and feels like darkness clutching your gut? The thought that something you had posted, whether you actually believe in it or were joking, will exist on the Internet forever. The idea that someone could dredge up every and any little thing you’ve ever launched into cyberspace, even before your brain was done baking, haunts you.

We all have those moments when we are tired and spell something embarrassingly wrong on Instagram, or write something completely absurd on Twitter, or ever write a completely wild question on Quora. And we all have that recurring nightmare that we end up in a job interview and the interviewer has prepared a slideshow that contains everything we have ever posted and we’re asked to answer for all of it: the absurdist memes, the copypastas, the middle school video projects we forgot are still public on YouTube. 

But I know it’s time to fight back against this hyperspecific scenario my anxiety has convinced me is possible. Everyone deserves the freedom to post and not be ridiculed by future employers on LinkedIn!

This is not a fight to allow terrible people to post terrible stuff. This is for the people scared to post anything online because it might taint their carefully curated brand image. LinkedIn people, quit judging! 

Let us live our lives when we are still young. Let us believe that we can post our adventures and livelihoods, without living in fear of reprimand. We all have hobbies, loves, and interests that we want to share with the world like a 25-chapter crossover fanfic where Linda Belcher and Hannah Montana join forces with the entire cast of every season of Degrassi to ever exist to properly save Riverdale because let’s be for real Archie is really bad at it. Don’t judge our digital footprint and we won’t judge the fact that you’re not paying a living wage! Deal? Deal. OK, I admit my fingers were crossed behind my back and I’m totally judging. No takesies backsies!

Leave a Reply