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Your pain is your endometriosis’ gain

Humour
Peak Web
Peak Web
1 min.
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ILLUSTRATION: Yuki Cai / The Peak

By: Cynthia Piña, Peak Associate

Content warning: mention of blood, graphic description of laproscopic surgery.

Hi!!! I’m endometriosis, and I’m not going to leave you alone 🙂 My life’s work is growing excess tissue and nothing will stop me — not your silly little birth control pills, multiple brands of heat pads, or whatever natural remedies you are trying to give me. Peppermint tea? I don’t care. Exercising and stretching? Any movement just pisses me off. Turmeric? OK, maybe I will calm down for a few hours, but I will act up again tomorrow. 

I know you wanted to go to the grocery store today, but I don’t feel like it. We are not going and I will make sure of that. You should run any plans by me first, and even if I say yes, I’ll probably make you cancel at the last minute anyways. You have bloating in your abdomen? Well, my side job is spawning endometriomas everywhere, and I love them so much! They are my babies! They are filled with blood, unlike other cysts, which I think is really unique and cute 🙂 Wait, is that a scalpel? What are you doing?!?! WHY ARE YOU SURGICALLY REMOVING MY BABIES? I do not think so. I will make more!!!!! You can’t remove all of them!!!!! 

Why am I like this, you ask? I don’t know, I would say ask the scientists, but honestly, they haven’t studied me at all. I don’t think they know either. Apparently, one of the only ways to get rid of me is to cut you open and scrape me out, but we aren’t doing that now, are we? We are going to be together forever <3 Even if you decided it was worth going through all the trouble of another surgery, I can just grow back! So, you will see more of me eventually anyways! 

Xoxo, 
Go piss girl (it might hurt, though)

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society