Go back

What Grinds Our Gears: Not reciprocating head

This should be pleasurable for both of us

by a real sucker

Cisgender men on the receiving end of oral sex really need to return the favour, for both parties’ sake.

Let me preface, this complaint is based on one miserable hookup — conveniently, the last one I partook in before Miss Rona decided to cockblock me. Now I’m left here with an all too bitter taste in my mouth almost a year later and no more experiences to cleanse my palette.

Of course, if a guy does not consent to any part of sex at all, the last thing I want is to pressure them. This guy, though? His reason for immediately shifting to the most underwhelming missionary sex I’ve ever had is the most cowardly response I’ve heard. And as a straight woman, I’ve heard quite a few.

He told me, “I had a bad experience with a girl not washing down there well enough.”

Alright, so you’re telling me that after one unpleasant experience, you’re going to generalize every cis woman’s genitals? I’d use the excuse of “having a bad experience” to avoid using Chicago style in another history class, not for something like this. Imagine refusing to please your partner like that indefinitely.

It’s even worse when guys don’t make the effort to ask. Are you that determined to get right to penetrative sex that you don’t set the mood or try foreplay? Can you light a candle or something first? If I just loved having something cylindrical shoved in with no preface, my period and tampons wouldn’t be so fucking bad.

There’s more to this whole sex thing, buddy. When I have drool crusting on the sides of my mouth and my jaw feels like it could clamp up permanently, it really wouldn’t hurt for a little reciprocated effort.

Was this article helpful?
0
0

Leave a Reply

Block title

SFU debuts virtual reality for snow days

By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer At SFU, a movement years in the making, built on generations of student advocacy, has finally paid off. Well . . . sort of. The university recently unveiled the new campus gondola. Only, it doesn’t exist in the physical realm. SFU’s cable car debuted as part of the school’s new virtual reality snow day package, complete with an immersive ride up the mountain to campus. “As you know, sometimes the buses just can’t make it up the mountain,” president Joy Johnson, currently serving her sixth consecutive term in hologram form, told The Beep. “But we wanted to find another way to provide our students with that on-campus experience that they so value. So we figured, why not go ahead and do...

Read Next

Block title

SFU debuts virtual reality for snow days

By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer At SFU, a movement years in the making, built on generations of student advocacy, has finally paid off. Well . . . sort of. The university recently unveiled the new campus gondola. Only, it doesn’t exist in the physical realm. SFU’s cable car debuted as part of the school’s new virtual reality snow day package, complete with an immersive ride up the mountain to campus. “As you know, sometimes the buses just can’t make it up the mountain,” president Joy Johnson, currently serving her sixth consecutive term in hologram form, told The Beep. “But we wanted to find another way to provide our students with that on-campus experience that they so value. So we figured, why not go ahead and do...

Block title

SFU debuts virtual reality for snow days

By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer At SFU, a movement years in the making, built on generations of student advocacy, has finally paid off. Well . . . sort of. The university recently unveiled the new campus gondola. Only, it doesn’t exist in the physical realm. SFU’s cable car debuted as part of the school’s new virtual reality snow day package, complete with an immersive ride up the mountain to campus. “As you know, sometimes the buses just can’t make it up the mountain,” president Joy Johnson, currently serving her sixth consecutive term in hologram form, told The Beep. “But we wanted to find another way to provide our students with that on-campus experience that they so value. So we figured, why not go ahead and do...