By: Rodolfo Boskovic, Peak Associate
In life, it’s hard to find the extraordinary. Some of us go through life without seeing anything that makes us believe in a higher power or that anything that we do really matters. If we are lucky, however, someone so incredible — so out of the ordinary — comes by, and we can’t help but be left in awe at their majesty.
At SFU, we are blessed enough to have Bryan for that. Bryan, the guy who took two entire minutes to watch a fellow classmate’s “stuff” for two minutes while they got up to use the washroom.
Bryan was humble enough to sit down with The Peak and walk us through his heroics.
The Peak: First of all, I would like to speak on behalf of the whole student body to thank you for your services. You’re an inspiration.
Bryan: Oh, thank you. Really, what I did wasn’t that impressive. To be honest, I’m not sure why I’m—
The Peak: Please! Would you mind walking us through the heroics you performed on campus?
Bryan: Well, I had an exam coming up — political science — and there were a lot of terms I had to memorize. My brain was already pudding. Anyway, this girl asked me to watch her stuff.
The Peak: Stacy?
Bryan: Yeah, Stacy. I think.
The Peak: And what was that like?
Bryan: Boring. Not much there for her to worry about, really. Altogether, her stuff wouldn’t have sold for a transit ticket. But she had to go to the washroom, I guess.
The Peak: Whoa.
The Peak: Whoa.
Bryan: I know. I guess everyone does poop. And I always say, pooping is like dying. When it happens, try as you might, you just can’t take any of it with you.
The Peak: Ugh. The lived wisdom of a mature student. Now, the whole time you were watching her bag, did you manage to get any studying done?
Bryan: Not really.
The Peak: So even though you had an important exam coming up — an exam that could very well determine your future — you took time out to help a fellow student? Would that be a fair characterization?
Bryan: Er, I guess. Like I said, my brain was pudding. I couldn’t have done much studying anyway—
The Peak: You really are too humble, Bryan! I suppose humility and heroics do go hand-in-hand!
The Peak: Before we leave, just one last question, Bryan. This might be a little too personal, so I hope you can forgive the intrusion, but . . . What were you doing before you enrolled at SFU? Where were you, Bryan? We all want to know where you learned all the great qualities you brought with you.
The Peak: I beg your pardon?
Bryan: Prison. I was in prison before enrolling here.
The Peak: Whatever for? What could you have possibly done to deserve that?
Bryan: Second-degree murder. Plus or minus some breaking-and-entering charges.
The Peak: Uh . . . that has to be a mistake. A set-up!
Bryan: I think so too, yeah.
The Peak: Aha!
Bryan: Y’see, I was breaking into this house to steal their stuff, and no one was supposed to be home.
The Peak: Oh. Oh no—
Bryan: Then, you know, right when I’m in the middle of pulling the TV off the wall, this guy comes out of the bedroom and I—
The Peak: Unfortunately, this is all the time we have! It was great to have you here with us, Bryan. To our readers out there: be sure of who’s around when you leave your stuff unattended. You never know who could be around.
Bryan: Don’t worry. I’ll be around.