I’m Not Drunk, YOU’RE Drunk
A game to play when you’ve had a big Wednesday night out, only to find yourself in lecture on Thursday morning, somehow still incredibly sloshed. The rules are simple:
- Interact with as many people as possible.
- For each person you drunkenly accuse of being drunk, you’re entitled to one bagel from Renaissance.
- See how many bagel-IOUs you can accumulate before you make enough of a scene for a TA, or even the professor, to throw you out.
- Go get those bagels.
BONUS: I’m Not Drink, I’m DRUMK!!
A variation of “I’m Not Drunk, YOU’RE Drunk.” Play this version when you are SO hammered from the night before that you no longer have control over your own words. It has all the same rules, with two special additions.
- For each word you DON’T slur, you get ONE dollar taken off your tuition.
- For each word you DO slur, you get ONE year added to your degree.
The “taking a first year course as a fourth year student” drinking game
- Take a shot whenever a first year snuggles up to you and says, “Gandalf, is that you?”
- Take a shot every time a first year calls you an “old, smelly gremlin.”
- Take a shot every time the professor gets confused and thinks YOU’RE the one who is supposed to be teaching the class.
- Take a shot every time a first year makes fun of the rock tablet you’re chiseling your notes into. Also, break their fancy “modern” laptop.
- Take a shot when you finally meet the only other person in the class that seems to be your age. And honestly? Give them a shot, too.
And REMEMBER: every time you take a shot, a first year loses their virginity.
Beer pong, but instead of beer, it’s a nice cold cup of coffee, and instead of Solo cups, it’s a half-eaten bag of popcorn, and instead of a ping-pong ball, it’s all your study notes, and instead of being motivated by the cheerful encouragements of your mates at a party, you’re motivated by your own crippling anxiety brought on by your intense procrastination, and instead of being surrounded by friends at a get-together, you’re really just sitting alone at the library
The best drinking game of all time.
The construction drinking game
- Take a shot every time you open your textbook and a bunch of nails and a screwdriver fall out.
- Take a shot every morning you stand in front of your closet and realize you can’t get to class unless you wear your childhood Bob the Builder costume.
- Take a shot every time a jackhammer goes rogue and flies through a window in the library, disrupting your peaceful studying.
- Take a shot every time one of your professors is actually a cement mixer.
- Finish your drink every time you open your textbook and a lost construction worker falls out.
