Texts From Last All-Nighter: what SFU says in the depths of academic fever

Your judgment? Totally impaired by late-night education and Canvas submission scrambles

Written by Shangrila Plaza, SFU Student


: yo

: I need stupid names to name a pigeon

: wrong answers only



: It’s 2:50am

: finish your essay.



: Hey, u up?


: yeah I’m picking out my casket. I’m thinking hot pink with glitters.


: lmao u good? What happened? 


: I have two finals to write and an essay due in 4 hrs and I locked myself out of my dorm on my way back from pooping



: bro i’m so screwed. 

: I skipped my Wednesday lecture. now i have a quiz today on that lecture. Well, I guess I’m bombing this quiz


: bruh review rn


: Nah

: when u commit to failing you really gotta commit



: yo what’s a thesis statement again? 

: nvm… how do i delete a text message?



: hey, I’m studying at the library. Wanna get me food?


: I can’t rn. It’s late anyways, just go home and eat there.


: but… I live here now.



: yo what midterms do we have today?


: it’s 2:48am on a Saturday



: i can’t believe how expensive peas are. I mean wow they have a relatively high market value.

: if I flunk outta university u best believe i’m farming peas. 



: not to overreact or anything but i think i’m dying.


: I died seven academic hells ago