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Ten simple facts that will make you feel instantly old!

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Time is a merciless bandit, perpetually thieving away your youth until you’re nothing but a corpse rotting away underground. Get ready to really feel your age with these 10 facts that are so wild, it’s hard to believe they’re true!

  1. The series finale of NBC sitcom Friends aired almost 11 years ago, on May 6, 2004.
  1. Macaulay Culkin, child star of the the Home Alone films, Richie Rich, and My Girl, turns 35 this year.
  1. After 15 nudge-and-emoji-filled years, the biggest time sponge from your childhood, MSN Messenger, quietly ceased operations entirely last year.
  1. That milk you just bought? It’s going to expire soon.
  1. There will be a time where it becomes no longer feasible for you to light a candle on your birthday cake for every year older you’re turning. It’ll be nothing but candles shaped like numbers for you because anything else will be a fire hazard.
  1. Last Tuesday was already a week ago.
  1. Close your eyes and then open them back up again. You’re now older than you were seconds ago.
  1. Everyone who is younger than you right now will always be younger than you, no matter what.
  1. A new episode of the original animated children’s TV show Babar hasn’t aired in 24 years. What do you mean, “What’s Babar?” He was an elephant king or something. Remember? He had a crown and always wore this green suit. Nothing? Seriously? Oh, come on!

10. You’re already several minutes older than you were when you started reading this list.

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society