By Alanna Fairey
Illustrated by Ariel Mitchell
When she was 15 years old, Darcy Hale made herself throw up for the first time in her family washroom. At the time, Hale’s parents were going through a divorce and it was negatively influencing her academic performance. In addition, Hale’s boyfriend at the time was verbally abusing her, leading her to find solace in a frequent binge-and-purge lifestyle.
Bulimia is an emotional disorder involving distortion of self-body image and an obsessive desire to lose weight that takes over the individual’s life. It manifests itself behaviorally in extreme overeating, followed by self-induced vomiting or fasting. Bulimia is not limited to self-induced vomiting, however, and can include extreme exercising and the abuse of laxatives after a binge in an attempt to purge the self of the excessive caloric intake.
“I felt like I was losing control of my life. I felt like everything was crumbling down around me,” Hale says. “I just felt like I didn’t have any control, and bulimia was the only way I could get some of that back.”
There are a plethora of different factors that can contribute to an individual’s development of bulimia nervosa, though more research still needs to be done.
“Some theories say that it can be influenced by environmental, biological or even genetic factors,” says Kristine Laboni, research coordinator at Victorian Order of Nurses (VON) Canada. These include early problems with food and weight, such as childhood obesity, family overeating, and poor habits.
Being raised in an environment with low parental contact, demanding parents, or family members that make negative comments about weight can also contribute. More recently, there has been a growing interest in the role that physical or sexual abuse may play.
Though men can also suffer from bulimia, according to Statistics Canada, about 90 per cent of cases of bulimia nervosa affect females. Approximately one to three per cent of young women develop bulimia nervosa in their lifetime, commonly beginning during their adolescent years.
While the constant vomiting is seen as a “means to an end” in the hopes of losing weight while seemingly gaining control, people often overlook the dangers of bulimia. The myth that bulimia is a “safe” disorder is just that — a myth.
Purging after meals is sometimes taken lightly in our society, but Luciana Rosu-Sieza, executive director of the Bulimia and Anorexia Nervosa Association (BANA), stresses that the direct health effects can be dire. Bulimia can cause an electrolyte imbalance, which affects the regularity of the individual’s heartbeat. At this point, the possibility of heart disease, heart failure, and even death becomes very real.
Frequent vomiting may cause inflammation — or even a rupture — of the esophagus, elevating risk for cancer. Other health effects include tooth decay due to exposure to stomach acids, constipation from laxative, and the possibility of gastric rupture.
Rosu-Sieza also notes that most bulimics are typically of an average weight, which often leads people to assume that nothing is wrong with them, and makes finding help and recovery much more difficult.
But bulimia is not limited to the physical state of an individual’s body. One’s state of mind can also be ruptured as a repercussion of bulimia.
“There are numerous [psychological issues],” says Laboni. “There can be issues such as depression or anxiety, personal shame, issues of control, and insomnia from potential malnutrition.”
BANA works to promote acceptance of diverse body shapes and sizes through the adoption of a healthy, balanced lifestyle. The association often organizes and hosts educational health promotion presentations and programs to raise awareness.
“In a lot of those presentations we don’t talk about eating disorders, because a lot of the research shows that talking about eating disorders actually promotes it,” Rosu-Sieza says. “Instead, we talk about self-esteem, body image and body base harassment, which is something that everybody’s experienced at some time.”
BANA instead facilitates health fairs and promotions that focus on eating disorders, but also on healthy eating, exercise and physical activity.
There are many organizations like BANA that provide resources for those seeking recovery from an eating disorder. Sadly, it takes a long time for many to get to that point.
Hale suffered in silence for three years, during which time she estimates that she spent over $10,000 on binge food, only to throw it up afterwards. Even though the vomiting only made her feel worse about herself, Hale soon became addicted to the process.
“Bulimia was, in a sick and twisted way, my friend. It was that companion that was always there and encouraged me to go that extra mile,” she says. “I knew it wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t care. It was just something I had to do.”
Three months after Hale’s 18th birthday, things took a turn for the worse. Also suffering from depression and low blood pressure as a direct result from her eating disorder, she collapsed in the home she shared with her mother.
Hale was taken to the hospital, and when she gained consciousness, she tearfully admitted to her parents that she was suffering from bulimia. She had never envisioned bulimia putting her in the hospital at the time, and her collapse was a wakeup call.
After being released from the hospital, Hale’s family and friends held an intervention, and she went to a treatment center for three months. There, she learned alternative coping skills and how to love her body.
Now at 27, Hale has graduated from college, works full-time, and is planning a wedding to her college boyfriend.
Though she admits that she sometimes has strong urges to purge after having a particularly large dinner, Hale is able to fend off most of those demons with her own coping mechanisms. She also cites her family, friends and fiance as having an integral role in her continued recovery. “I call them all my little support team,” Hale says. “I know that I wouldn’t completely get over my eating disorder without them.”
There are some common signs that an individual may be suffering from bulimia: Are they secretive about eating? Do they disappear once a meal is done? Have they gotten defensive when they were questioned about their eating habits? Have you noticed that they eat lots of food but have no change in weight?
If there is suspicion that an individual may have bulimia, pay attention to their patterns and reach out to them.
Hale admits to exhibiting most of these behaviours and while people had noticed, no one confronted her. She was often passive and quiet about her eating disorder, which she believes may have prevented her family and friends from talking to her about it.
“People noticed my weight loss, and they also saw me going to the bathroom at the end of every meal,” Hale explained. “Everyone knew what I was doing, but I was never confronted about it because I became difficult to deal with. There were times when I wished they would say something. I think it’s so important to confront the issue face first.”
Do not wait for a bulimic to be comfortable talking about their disorder, because it may not happen. Confront that person and seek help for them immediately.
It is much easier for a bulimic to recover from their disorder if they have support from loved ones while seeking professional help. However, loved ones should be mindful that recovering from bulimia is a lifelong process.
“It’s a lifelong process because people have relapses at times,” said Rosu-Sieza. “But going back is not a failure.”
Struggles are inevitable in the road to recovery, but no one should endure bulimia alone. Hale admits that she is still on the journey but hopes that her story will inspire others.
“My journey of self-love was not easy; it may have been the hardest thing that I have ever done,” Hale said. “But this is the only body I’ll ever have. I can’t lose that. If I ever have a daughter, I will tell her about my struggles.”
