By: Sasha Rubick, SFU Student It’s easy to disregard the SFU reflecting pond when you walk past it every day. But here at The Peak, we wear tin foil hats to pitch meetings and curate evidence boards. That’s how real journalism is done, dangnabbit! Your typical SFU student might look at the reflecting pond and see a singular plastic chair, but we know what’s going on here. While you’re snapping a pic of the heron . . . again — seriously, why do you keep taking the same picture? — we’re staring at the surface of the reflecting pond, reflecting…
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By: Isabella Urbani, Sports Editor My pen bristles as I try to write to you. No . . . I promised myself I wasn’t going to make this mistake again. I’m already paying off Joy Johnson to wipe my record…
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By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Everywhere I go . . . I see his face. Sigmund (hopefully not motherfucking) Freud. It was innocuous at first: he would come up, obviously, in my PSYC 101 class. I get it, we all…
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By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer My name is Dr. Gregory “Sniffers” Martin (57 at the time of writing) and I’m here with SHOCKING news about SFU that will change your perception of reality forever. Do you think you’re safe to…
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By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor Hear me out: president Joy Johnson is actually a hologram powered with artificial intelligence. She has given clear clues from the beginning, making no effort to hide it, knowing that nobody will believe those of…
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By: Carter Hemion, Humour Editor Have you ever visited SFU’s most popular department and wondered why they have so many cameras? Have you felt like you’re being watched, even when every other student’s eyes are glued to their work? Know…
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By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the tales . . . seen how the darkness and the infinite turns of the RCB swallows first-years and seniors alike. But as you all file back into campus, I…
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By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer Anyone who’s had the misfortune of studying classical mythology has likely heard the story of the Greek Labyrinth created to house the Minotaur, a monstrous half-man, half-bull creature. SFU is a real-life case of something…
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By: Kyla Dowling, Humour Editor The Day The Earth Stood Still, The 6th Day, The Fly II: what do all these movies have in common? They all were filmed on SFU’s Burnaby campus, yes. But that’s not all: these movies…
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By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, SFU Student Listen up, sheeple! SFU builds stuff for themselves, not for our wellbeing or our general interest. A lot of you may say you aren’t surprised, but what comes next will blow your minds! Recently uncovered documents…
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