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University Briefs

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Harris Institute for Arts criticizes political correctness in academics

[TORONTO] — This Spring, students and staff of the Harris Institute in Toronto will not only face probation if they “shout down an opposing view,” but they could be removed from the school completely. The Institute’s founder John Harris stated in an interview with Metro News: “You shouldn’t have limits on what can be discussed.”

With files from UPI

 

UBC students film “Hotline Bling” parodies to convince Drake to perform

[VANCOUVER] —  The University of British Columbia has begun a campaign to persuade Drake to perform at their school by filming clips of them dancing to his hit song “Hotline Bling.” And that could only mean one thing: Drake’s Twitter account was tweeted at with 720 videos of students in a 12 hour period. That’s one video per minute. Your move, Drizzy.

With files from Buzzfeed

 

Grey Cup festival hosted at University of Winnipeg

[WINNIPEG]  — From November 26–28, the University of Winnipeg’s campus will host the Grey Cup Festival, a series of public and free events, to commemorate the 103rd CFL Grey Cup. Festivities will include CFL cheerleaders, a visit from Santa, musical performances, and a fireworks finale.
With files from MyToba & NewsCentre

Satellite Signals

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EIC
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Woodward’s

Noted academic and activist Jonathan Katz will be presenting a lecture on “How AIDS Changed American Art” at the Goldcorp Centre for the Arts on Thursday, November 26.

Co-organized by the Queer Arts Festival and SFU’s Vancity Office of Community Engagement, the lecture will focus on the exhibit, ART/AIDS/AMERICA, currently on display at the Tacoma Art Museum.

Segal Building

On November 26, McGill University professor Karl Moore will be presenting “Introverts in the Executive Suite” at the Segal Graduate School of Business.

Moore will look at how introverts function in leadership positions and what challenges they face, based on over 100 interviews conducted with leading executives who are introverted themselves.

Harbour Centre

SFU’s Venture Connection and VentureLabs will host a free workshop, the fifth in a series, to help fledgling businesses develop a competitive business model.

The workshop, to be held on Monday November 23 at Harbour Centre, hopes to show how a business model can be “sustainable” and “replicable” throughout a business’ growth.

This week in comics

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EIC
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Three Piece
Three Piece (Rosemarie Perkin)

ONLINE-Mystic Man 2Mystic Man (Reuben Newton)

CrapsideThe Crapside (Ryan Stella & Darien Lechner)

CMYK-Pun 2 3Pun 2 3 (Sarah Walker)

CMYK-Seagull SquareSeagull Square (Jill Mandrake)

Screen Shot 2015-11-22 at 9.21.35 PMCreator’s Pet (Destiny Hsu)

HUMOUR: Donald Trump’s new one-percenter Platinum Key Society coming to SFU

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EIC
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Illustration by Konstantin Rabinovich

As a man of great wisdom and compassion, United States presidential candidate Donald Trump has chosen to extend his generosity to one of the most neglected minority populations at SFU: students with marks within the top one per cent of their program.

“I’ve seen the very best academic performers force themselves to accommodate the needs of others,” said Trump during a press conference earlier this week. “Winners shouldn’t have to hide how superior they are to other people. As a fellow handsome and smart one-percenter, the idea of exhibiting humility literally feels like being locked up in prison.

“Winners are who we are and we shouldn’t have to hide it.”

Starting in Spring 2016, future president of the United States Mr. Trump will be sponsoring a new affiliate with the university: the SFU Platinum Key Society.

“Sharing an elite society with the top two to 15 per cent is practically a human rights violation; being treated the same as someone in the top 15 per cent when you’re actually in the top one per cent is the worst kind of discrimination that exists. When you’re just better than everyone else, you deserve to flaunt your greatness. That’s what this society should be about.”

The Platinum Key Society will not provide any of the services that the similarly-named Golden Key Society offers, such as workshops, networking opportunities, and scholarships for their members.  Instead, the Platinum Key Society will be hosting lavish banquets, erecting status of themselves at all of SFU’s campuses, and paying for increased awareness of how amazing the one per cent is by purchasing advertising space on campus through The Peak newspaper, bus benches, and in the gymnasium.

Students are also being told to expect pro-Platinum Key messages popping up in the sky, as skywriting is a very practical form of communication amongst the wealthy.

The requirements for any individual looking to join this exclusive society are to be in the top one per cent of their program and pay a one-time fee of $10,000. There is also an option for those outside of the academic one per cent to join this society that involves paying that same fee, but on a monthly basis. Trump justified this option, claiming that, “being rich is the same as being smart. That’s why I’m one of the smartest people on this planet.”

The society is currently awaiting approval from SFU president Andrew Petter, and will be decided upon before the winter break. However, Mr. Trump is confident that everything will go according to plan, because if the university to going to allow an elitist special society to pander to the top 15 per cent of SFU students, what’s wrong with having another elitist special society?

HUMOUR: Ordinary life getting you down? Try living in colour

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EIC
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Image by Lisa Dimyadi

Are you tired of being overwhelmed by the most basic of daily actions and activities? Constantly afraid that behind every closed cupboard door, a tower of disorganized Tupperware is just waiting to tumble out? Sick of being asked rhetorical questions that you can’t respond to, even when the answer should be glaringly obvious? Then you need to try living in colour!

That’s right, living in colour. No more residing in the era of only shades of black and white. With our revolutionary new approach to daily living, you can get back to the important things in life — like interacting with Tupperware when it’s not toppling on your face.

Research has shown that nearly 95 per cent of bumbling, uncoordinated behaviour occurs solely in the lives of people still living in black and white. That means it’s highly probable you weren’t just an inept idiot all along, but really you’ve just been living in the before part of your before-and-after story. This could be the change that changes everything.

Thanks to a series of environment-controlled simulations, our As Seen On TV scientific division found that when a person performs a daily task in black and white, the lack of colour molecules makes everything at least three times as difficult. Gravity is affected, making ordinary objects seem significantly heavier; hand-eye coordination suffers, due to cone inactivity in your eye. Can we without a doubt conclude this is what’s actually happening? Not really. But can you without a doubt conclude this is what’s not happening? Let’s leave this one to the scientists, folks.

Our patented secret behind colour’s design lets your reds shine red, your blues shine blue, and makes your body physically incapable of doing that frustrated head shake. You know, the one where you put both hands on your hips while shaking your head disapprovingly? When was the last time you saw a frustrated person in-colour? Let me answer that last question for you: never.

Still not convinced that colour living is different than all those other phony miracle products? Check out this real-life testimonial from one of our real-life customers:

“I used to live my life completely colourless — if you could call it living. Then I tried doing all of the same things I’d already been doing, but in colour, and everything changed. It’s like someone flipped a switch, and suddenly the most mundane of tasks don’t seem unattainable. Once you give up living in only shades of black, you’ll never go back.”

Most television sets stopped displaying in black and white back in 1965, so why should your life be any different? Try living in colour today and see what it’s like to not be a total failure in everything you do.

HUMOUR: Seven ways SFU students can stay warm and toasty during winter

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EIC
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Image by Miranda Macfarlane

That’s right, SFU. It’s not just the cry of Game of Thrones fans in withdrawal for the next season of blood, guts, and nudity — winter is indeed coming. Fear not, though, because your wonderful friends at The Peak have got you covered this winter season, with seven top-notch ways to keep your tushy blissfully acclimatized in lectures and tutorials.

1. Find a two-person tauntaun to cut into. But remember to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose, okay?

2. Burn your textbooks. It’s not like you’re using them to study anyways.

3. Construct a soup of armour. Enclose your body within a person-sized thermos to keep warm things warm and cold things on the outside. Minus 10 to your dexterity, though.

4. Make onesies a mandatory uniform for all future study group sessions. Just because you’re learning doesn’t mean you can’t be comfortable.

5. Ask the barista to make your latte extra hot. Then go to Canadian Tire and buy a spaceheater for your tutorial room.

6. Find a YouTube clip of the fireplace channel and hope for a placebo effect. Remember to cheer whenever the mysterious arm appears to prod the flame.

7. Just stay at home. There’s no place like it.

Board Shorts

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EIC
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Health Plan to cover student repatriation costs

The SFSS Board of Directors moved to allocate $2,014.85 from the Health Plan Reserve Fund to cover the repatriation costs of a student who passed away in early September.

Repatriation is the process by which a body is returned to its original place of citizenship. Since the current coverage does not cover the cost associated with the process, the student’s family was stuck with a large bill.

Said VP University Relations Darwin Binesh, “This is really a nice gesture on our part.” The board unanimously carried the motion, and interest was expressed in looking into the current plan covering these costs in the future.

Director exit reports to be posted online

The exit reports from the 2014–2015 board of directors are to be made available on the society’s website.

VP External Relations Kathleen Yang explained that every year prior to the last, the exit reports were posted online without going through an official board motion.

In a special circumstance, the 2013–2014 board reports were not posted as usual since they contained confidential information that was stricken for public posting.

Yang brought this motion to the table, “for the sake of posterity,” to set the standard of publishing reports for future boards.

Clan Lose First of Two to Colorado Christian

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EIC
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Max Barkeley finished the night with 11 points and 6 assists

The SFU Clan Men’s Basketball team lost a hard fought 89–82 decision to the Colorado Christian Cougars. The loss drops the team to 1–2 on the season.

The Clan managed to slowly build 41–33 in a tight first half, but were undone by some sloppy play and lack of execution after halftime. In the first five minutes of the second half, SFU committed four costly turnovers as well as several fouls. This led Colorado Christian to start the half with a 14–6 run to tie the game at 47. Four Clan players had at least four fouls which led to the Cougars getting easy free throw attempts as they were in the bonus for the last 8 minutes of the game.  

What really impressed me about SFU’s play was their tenacity. They had tough defence and fought for every loose ball. The climax of the action was when multiple players from both teams dove and scraped for a loose ball with seven minutes remaining. This scene repeated itself with two minutes remaining which further demonstrated the team’s conviction.

The Clan were down 68–60 with six minutes remaining and managed to get within four points on a clutch three pointer by point guard Max Barkeley in the last minute; it was too late, though, to complete the comeback. Hidde Vos was the top SFU scorer with 17 points and 6 assists on 6 of 8 shooting. Vos was one of six Clan players who scored in double digits. JJ Pankratz had 12 points and 9 rebounds and five blocks, Tyrell Lewin chipped in 10 points, Barkeley had 11 points and 6 assists, Michael Harper had 13 points and 6 rebounds and Gibran Sewani had 12 points on 6 of 7 shooting in just 13 minutes of play.

Both the Clan and Cougars played their starters extensive minutes and not utilizing their full bench. The teams will play a second game this Saturday at SFU’s West Gym at 5 p.m. This is the first season for new Head Coach Virgil Hill. Coach Hill played for the Clan in the 90s under current Canadian National Team Coach and Portland Trail Blazers Assistant, Jay Triano. He finished a stint where he was the head coach of Ontario’s Laurentian University for the past seven years.

The Peak Publications Society board meeting agenda

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EIC
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Peak Publications Society Board of Directors Meeting Agenda

November 19, 2015

The Peak offices

Chair: Max Hill

In Attendance:

  • Maia Odegaard (Board Secretary, non-voting)
  • Max Hill (Editor-in-Chief)
  • Tamara Connor (Collective Rep)
  • Melissa Roach (Collective Rep)
  • MuhammadQasim Dewji (Employee Rep)
  • Thadoe Wai (At-large Rep)

 

 

  • Call to Order

 

  • Approval of Agenda
  • Approval of past minutes from October 22, 2015
  • Financial update

 

Maia to present the state of the Society’s finances through September 2015 (see appendix A)

 

  • Reintroduction of the Features Editor

 

Melissa will present a motion to reinstate the role of Features Editor for the spring semester, with

several adjustments to the previous job description. The hiring panel will also be responsible for

advertising and ultimately hiring a student to fill the role.

 

  • Allotment of funds for Peak financial award

 

Maia and Max will present a motion for the allotment of Peak funds towards an endowment with SFU,

five per cent of which will be awarded annually to an SFU student based on academic achievement as well as previous involvement with The Peak.

 

  • Distribution manager job description and expanded responsibilities

 

Max will inform the board on discussion with SFU Residence in hopes of introducing Peak stands into

the Madge Hogarth Building, the Dining Hall, and the area outside the residence buildings; ______ will

then present a motion to alter the job description of the Burnaby distribution manager to account for

these new responsibilities.

 

  • Board representative for hiring board

 

The board will elect a member to serve on the hiring board to choose The Peak’s editorial team for

the spring semester

 

  • Addition to the responsibilities of the Collective Reps

 

Tamara will present a recent issue raised by a member of the collective. This issue is largely focused around the availability of  minutes/decisions made by the board. A member of the collective would like important information to be shared with everyone immediately following the meetings as opposed to waiting for the board to approve the minutes and then posted a month later. Tamara will present several options to mitigate this issue.

 

  • Adjournment

 

Peak Publications Society Board of Directors Meeting Agenda

October 22, 2015

The Peak offices

Chair: Max Hill

In Attendance:

  • Maia Odegaard (Board Secretary, non-voting)
  • Max Hill (Editor in Chief)
  • Tamara Connor (Collective Rep)
  • Melissa Roach (Collective Rep)
  • MuhammadQasim Dewji (Employee Rep)
  • Thadoe Wai (At-large Rep)
  • Cecile Favron (Guest)

 

  • Call to Order: 4:34 p.m.

 

  • Approval of Agenda

 

Move item 10. “50th Anniversary” to item 4. so that Cecile may leave afterward.

Qasim/Melissa

All in favour

 

  • Approval of past minutes from September 17, 2015

 

Qasim/Tamara

 

  • 50th Anniversary (see Appendix B)

 

Whereas large scale events could benefit from a post-mortem to be reviewed by the board

Whereas the current Promotions Coordinator has been consulted regarding adding a duty to the current job description

Whereas Maia Odegaard, Business Manager, and Cecile Favron, Promotions Coordinator, will draft a working template for post-event summary

BIRT the position of Promotions Coordinator included filing a comprehensive report following large scale events, using a template.

Melissa/Tamara

All in favour

 

  • Financial update

 

Maia presented the state of the Society’s finances through September 2015 (see appendix A)

Melissa Roach requested that the Tartan expenditures be presented separately. Maia to add Tartan lines to the Revised Budget for fall 2015.

No vote

 

  • Bookkeeper for bank reconciliation

 

Our accountant, Andrea Knorr, suggested we bring in a bookkeeper every quarter to do bank reconciliation.

BIRT we hire Nadine Simcoe to perform bank reconciliation every quarter, at $30/hour for roughly three (3) hours each fiscal quarter,  to assist with CGA Andrea Knorr’s year end workload.

Tamara/Thadoe

 

  • Implementation of liability form for photo contributors

 

Whereas Photo Editor Lisa Dimyadi suggests we introduce a liability form for those borrowing the Society’s cameras and photo equipment

BIRT we establish a liability clause to be signed semesterly by contributors, over seen by the Photo Editor, filed with the Business Manager, with a $50 (fifty-dollar) damage fee for equipment borrowed, subject to the discretion of the Board.

Tamara/Qasim

All in favour

 

  • Website Hosting

 

Maia and Qasim reviewed the current about of space we get from the web host in light of the recent down time the website experienced, and decided that a larger package was required to avoid these outages in future.

BIRT we increase the monthly hosting budget from $54.99 USD ($74.75 CAD) to $94.99 USD ($125.06 CAD).

Qasim/Melissa

All in favour

 

  • Website archival (see Appendix C)

 

Whereas keeping 5 (five) years of past content online is deemed sufficient

Whereas the Digital Strategist will take on the task of wiping the content from over 5 (five) years ago

BIRT the Digital Strategist’s job description shall be amended to include “responsible for purging the Peak’s website of old content on an annual basis and maintaining a catalogue of five years as an online archive.”

Melissa/Tamara

All in favour

 

  • CUP NASH

 

BIRT The Peak will send 16 delegates and one Business Manager to CUP Nash in Toronto from January 6 — 10, 2016. The conference budget will be increased by $18,800 to come from the savings account.

Qasim/Tamara

All in favour

 

  • In Camera session

 

All those who are not directors will be asked to leave the meeting.

 

  • Adjournment: 6:08 p.m.

 

 

 

 

What gourd are you?

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EIC
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We ask SFU students what warty, lumpy gourd they are.

Created by Paige Smith & Eric Smith

1...914915916...1,418Page 915 of 1,418

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024