Devil politely requests that people stop advocating for him

By: Alea Mohamed, Staff Writer  In a shocking turn of events, the Devil has requested that people stop advocating for him. Despite his initial gratitude,...

McFogg the Dog, Take The Wheel: an SFU-inspired playlist

By: Nancy La, Staff Writer  After a full year of online learning, I find myself missing the prison-like architecture of campus and the ambiance of...

goSFU releases statement; tearfully claims it’s trying its best

By: Alea Mohamed, Staff Writer  This week-old semester has possibly been the longest of my life. People have been bullying me about the way I...

Comics

By: Sara Brinkac, SFU Student

Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: Pokémon edition

By: Marco Ovies, Features Editor ARIES: Your fiery spirit will give you the motivation to light a flame this week, just like a Darmanitan going...

Your new pandemic best friend: the raccoon

By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer  Are you looking for some raccoon therapy? Imagining a domesticated life with our residential furry friends? Well, we’ve made some...

SFUnexplained: Images Theatre is definitely haunted

By: Carter Hemion, Staff Writer Have you ever wondered why time passes differently in Images Theatre? Have you felt a strange breeze when all the...

A mother’s laments: one too many mementoes from your school . . .

By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer Ah, it’s already May. The cherry blossoms have given way to verdant greens, the weather is nice enough that you...

Zoom isn’t angry, just disappointed

By: Amrit Randhawa, SFU Student Conspiracy theories greatly endanger contemporary universities. Professors rightly assert rationality’s importance: no labs produced COVID-19 as a bioweapon, no ice...

Your weekly SFU Horoscopes: May 10–16

By: Kyla Dowling, Humour Editor ARIES: Don’t forget the sayings you were raised on: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say something mean.”...