Four infamous tweets that should be made into feature films

Between Bean Dad and Papaw, Twitter has many icons that should be immortalized in film

PHOTO: Marten Bjork / Unsplash

By: Emma Best, SFU Student

You’ve heard of movies based on books, plays, TV shows, and even other movies — but what about a movie based on a tweet? Well, look no further, as the future of adaptation is upon us with Zola being released in theatres earlier this month. The film is based on the viral 148-tweet thread by the titular part-time stripper herself. With the film’s positive reception, there’s no doubt there will soon be more films based on the obscure forms of storytelling we have access to on social media. First it’s tweets, but before we know it, there will be an Emmy award-winning HBO mini-series based on a TikTok, and Timotheé Chalamet will win an Oscar for his portrayal of David Dobrik in a painfully out-of-touch drama about his life. But in the meantime, here are four tweet-inspired films that are sure to make their way to the big screen soon.

 

1.) Dinner With Papaw: All Papaw wanted was to put together a home-cooked meal for his six grandchildren. But, when only one grandchild comes to dinner, Papaw feels betrayed. In a mix of Taken and A Christmas Carol, Papaw and his one loyal granddaughter seek out those who betrayed him, hoping for an explanation, reconciliation, and most importantly: revenge. From the director that brought you John Wick and starring Christian Bale under 20 pounds of makeup and prosthetics, this geriatric action flick will have you calling your grandparents ASAP and will teach you to never ignore Papaw.

 

2.) The Brotherhood of the Sciency Pants: On his way to a chemistry lab, college student Jake realizes he’s wearing shorts — an act that would cause him to be kicked out of class! So he turns to a stranger on the sidewalk wearing sweats and tells him, “I need your pants.” Thankfully, the stranger swaps pants with him, allowing Jake to get to class right on time. But surprise! This pants swap does more than just save Jake’s chemistry grade. It creates a magical, pants-based bond between the two boys. Now, anytime Jake puts on pants, they’re immediately swapped with whatever pants his Pants Stranger is wearing instead. It’s The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants meets the poorly executed Force-bond Rey and Kylo Ren had in the Star Wars sequel trilogy, but (sadly) without a shirtless, high-waisted pant-wearing Adam Driver. 

 

3.) Bean Dad: His daughter wanted beans, but what did he want? Power. Told from the perspective of the daughter, from the age of 9 to nineteen, this bildungsroman (bean-dungsroman) was filmed year by year in the style of Richard Linklater’s Boyhood (bean-hood). This storytelling results in a truly realistic and beneficial (bean-eficial) portrayal of adolescence (ado-lentil-scence) in the age of social media. In order to look at her future, she must look at her past. She must look back at her father’s actions and the way they impacted her, focusing less on where she’s been (bean) and more on where she’s going (garbanzo-ing. Okay, fine, that one is a stretch).

 

4.) Dinner With Papaw 2: The Last Supper: Having made amends with his five traitorous grandchildren just one year ago, Papaw decides to bring them together for dinner once again— but his criminal actions from one year ago are catching up to him. Now a pawn in New York City’s underground Mafia, all six of his grandchildren are kidnapped with a large bounty put on their heads. Papaw is then forced back into his criminal past, trying to save his grandchildren while also fighting those who want the bounty. From a completely different writer and director than the first film and starring a TikTok impressionist with a Christian Bale deep fake (Bale had to drop out due to a scheduling conflict), this film is sure to be the best follow-up since The Godfather: Part III.

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