What Grinds Our Gears: Going to Costco

Get me out of this hell-hole

A warehouse style grocery store
PHOTO: Sean Lee / Unsplash

By: Michelle Young, Opinions Editor

I absolutely hate Costco. Specifically, I hate the shopping experience at Costco. Do not, for the love of god, start lecturing me on what “good deals” they have because I have heard enough from everyone and their grandmother about the “amazing” things Costco has to offer. If it was up to me, I would never step foot in that awful grocery-warehouse crossover if you paid me. 

Now hear me out: Costco seems to bring out the worst in everyone. It’s like people forget how to behave in this store. Everyone is bumping their carts into you or standing so close that you can feel their breath down your neck. Get your sweaty hands off me. People are knocking things from the aisles onto me and my partner, and giggling about it. Families are leaving their carts abandoned, rolling down the aisles. The lines are horrendously long, and why do half the families line-up horizontally? 

Before you tell me I just need to go during the “off hours” — the parking is a mess at every hour of every day, and there are plenty of other reasons I refuse to step foot in this store. 

First, what’s up with the lighting? It is somehow both way too glaring and also too dim to see anything properly at the same time. The whole store is a sensory nightmare. This store is trying to do too much. They want to sell clothes, but they have no fitting rooms. This doesn’t stop people from stripping in the middle of the aisle. There are socks littered on the floor. Listen, I know Costco’s whole thing is “cheap bulk products,” but I don’t need bulk products. Like, ever. I live in a household of two. All the food is going to expire by the time we get to it. I am begging, stop trying to convince me to go to Costco — I would rather go anywhere else.