By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate
Hey, SFU bears! Welcome back to my blog! I was extra ecstatic about writing this week because we’ve had a beary interesting couple of days, from playing pranks on raccoons to going on a campus-wide scavenger hunt. Even better, I got to interview one of our fellow bears, Barny Benson, about how chaotic the parking lots have been getting due to all kinds of human gatherings going on. Sigh, it’s that time of year again. I’ll go over the full story later, so keep reading!
Soooo, the scavenger hunt event last Wednesday was pretty wild. And fun. And tiring. We were divided into groups of three, and our mission was to find all the hidden bear-ries. I thought my team was doing a good job until one of us got stung by a bee and had to sit down, while the other team got snoozy and started napping before we were done. Despite having useless teammates, participating in this activity was totally worth it since I met new bear citizens at the awards ceremony. They made an excellent decision moving here to Burnaby Mountain. I mean, what’s better than watching buses slide down the road in the winter and playing hard-to-get with campus security? Life never gets boring up here.
Next, I have to talk about how hilarious it was when we were playing pranks on our raccoon neighbours. The looks on their faces were PRICELESS when they saw their new sneakers had gone missing. While they went off to find more goodies, we snuck into their bush, took their sneakers, then put them back later on while they ran off to look for the robber. We were just teaching them a lesson because they shouldn’t be leaving those things out of their sight! Especially if they haven’t installed security cameras around their homes.
Finally, let’s go over the annoying human gatherings we’ve had to bear with during the past few days. Most of you are probably aware there are certain times of the year when hundreds of humans cover themselves in dark blue blankets, put a square on top of their heads, then walk in a double-file line to the ceremony stage. You can’t really see the actual event unless you hide in the bush and look through binoculars. Still, our main concern is how noisy and gassy the entire mountain gets from all these groups of people driving around and sprawling out to take pictures. I don’t see why they should be allowed to invade our home on the mountain when we never enter their designated areas, which are the buildings. How are we supposed to cross the road safely when cars are coming up and down nonstop? How are we supposed to get three high-quality naps a day and a full ten hours of sleep every night if we keep getting interrupted by people talking into the microphone for hours? It’s just so chaotic!
Fortunately, I got to speak to our special guest, Barny Benson, who shared some of his wise tips on coping during a time of human mayhem. First, express your frustration by knocking down a tree with your bear hands. And when you do this, try to aim for one of the main roads so the tree can block any cars trying to reach SFU. Second, meet up with your friends and do bear-aoke together to drown out out the annoying voices coming from the humans’ ceremony, or whatever they call that seasonal gathering. Lastly, jinx the weather and make it rain or hail on everybody just to piss them off and discourage them from having more ceremonies on this mountain in the future.
Well, that’s it for my eventful week. Have you found other coping mechanisms for dodging human annoyance? Have you done anything interesting this past week? Or anything em-bear-rassing? Comment below! Thank you all for reading my blog this week, and stay tuned for next time! Peace, I’m out.
