Written by Carter Hemion, Staff Writer
It’s the question on all of our minds here at SFU: Are you in love with that tall, tall, dreamboat gondola project? Or are you just infatuated with the idea of him? If you’ve been tearing your hair out over the quiet but handsome transit vehicle with his head in the clouds, fear no more: we’ve got just the quiz for you!
Just answer these five questions, HONESTLY, and find out whether you and the gondola are meant to be or if this is just another passing crush — like that time you thought the public bus was going to be the love of your life . . . ugh . . .
- Do you like living in a big city?
a) I loooooooove everything about big cities! From the busy people to the constant, complicated, crazy construction — it’s home!
b) I like the city just as it is, but like, aside from my weird neighbours.
c) I like the convenience, but I also preferred it before I had high rises looming over my house. I mean, where’s the privacy when I want to garden at midnight and ugly-cry into my rose bushes?
2. Do you like guys who are idealists?
a) I just think those guys with their heads in the clouds are so dreamy . . .
b) I think the idea is cool, but he needs to be realistic about his choices!
c) He needs to have his feet on the ground and see where he’s going — we know those guys who don’t think beyond the next step ahead of them. Eww.
3. Do you like to take things slow?
a) I don’t like to rush things. Sure, we could speed, but then how would we see all the sights along the way?
b) I like to plan relationships on an 18-month schedule and see where they go, you know?
c) I take things as fast as they’ll go!
4. If you were a tree, what kind would you be?
a) A dead one. I hate trees.
b) A maple. They look so pretty from above…
c) Evergreens! You know, those tall ones that a gondola would kill or something.
5. Finally, let’s get to the point: how do you feel about our handsome man’s height, at a whopping 8,858 feet and 3 inches tall?
a) He’s tall? He’s cute? That’s really all I need to know.
b) I’d like to see more of him than just his height, if you know what I mean . . .
c) Everyone just swoons over those tall boys with one quirky, niche interest and a kinda boring personality and a little sensitivity to criticism and . . . well, you know that type. I kinda like guys who aren’t as needy, ya feel?
If you answered mostly As . . . your feelings for the gondola are REAL LOVE!
Yeah, sure, he might have some flaws — like his total disregard for the community living on Burnaby Mountain, or maybe some apathy towards the environment. BUT, you see all of him, and you still love him for all that he is. You’re definitely ready to spend the rest of your life on campus with him!
If you answered mostly Bs . . . you’ve got a HUGE crush on the gondola . . . but that’s ALL it is.
You’re infatuated with the moving, grinding, whizzing parts of transit, how much money he’s worth, and how pretty he looks on the outside, but this isn’t capital-T True Love.
If you answered mostly Cs . . . you’re coming to your senses and realizing your feelings for the gondola are just another crush.
Sure, you might have a thing for tall, mediocre guys, but you’d rather keep things casual with the gondolas in your life and enjoy UniverCity as it is.