How SFU ruined my summer

0
224
Illustrated by Marissa Ouyang

By: Jennifer Low

The absolute destruction of my summer vacation began in one of the most unexpected ways imaginable: the sun came out.

There is nothing quite like summer at the Burnaby campus. Gone are the constant dark clouds, and for the first time, the sunshine is actually visible. It’s the time when SFU students claw their way out of their dark lecture halls and sneak outside to enjoy the warm sunny weather without getting rained on.

I, myself, had big plans of going outside to get that perfect profile pic to celebrate the start of summer vacation. I thought I had just found the perfect spot to capture the photo when a crane insisted on photobombing my every shot. Not to be discouraged, I moved on, but the closest I could get to a gorgeous selfie with the city skyline in the background was one that also featured about a dozen construction workers in hard hats. It was mildly annoying, but I wasn’t going to let that get to me.

After the days of walking across campus shivering in the freezing cold and getting off at the bus stop near Saywell Hall just to stay warm, I was glad to at least be able to break out my summer wardrobe. Did you know that SFU is fully equipped with enough strangely sticky, or scorching hot, chairs to make you wish you never let your bare skin make contact with the evil plastic? Take it from me, if you think you’re being smart and sit on one of SFU’s couches, you can rest assured that you will feel the crumbs of every single lunch that has ever been eaten there. Disgusting. I suppose that, with school out, I could finally wear my yoga pants every day… who am I kidding? I’ve been wearing those since September.

I tried to enjoy a pleasant walk through the courtyard, but between the constant jackhammering, banging, and whirring of construction and my flip flops falling off my feet every time I struggled to walk up yet another flight of stairs, it would have been way more enjoyable to sit at home and watch Netflix.

Now we’ve all had that same fantasy about sitting on the grass with a group of friends having a picnic lunch on the mountain like they do in those college movies and university ads. Worst. Idea. Ever. Let me just say this: if the raccoons are smart enough to figure out the automatic doors at West Mall to seek out a trash receptacle, you can bet they are smart enough to overpower a tired student with a lunch bag.

So whether you’re developing a migraine from the glorious symphony of jackhammers or realizing that you now consider it a personal success when you get off the bus not looking like you just ran a marathon on the surface of the sun, enjoy your summer while you can, because sooner or later, SFU will find a way to ruin it for you.