Stuff we like and don’t like

(Elena Hsu / The Peak)

Stuff we don’t like — Not getting what you expected from a menu (especially ones with pictures)

It’s a pretty well known fact that your food isn’t going to look like the picture (I’m looking at you McDonald’s). But usually the picture shows all of the ingredients even the ones you can’t usually see like ketchup, mustard, and more than one pickle.

When a menu trolls you though, that’s another thing entirely.

If you advertise something as mango salad and then you show a picture of actual mango salad, you know what I’m expecting? A freaking mango salad that looks (mostly) like the one in the picture. I’m not expecting sad iceberg lettuce, with sad carrots, anemic mango, and some wilted cilantro. I’m not looking for perfection, but I am looking for mango salad not salad with mango. Those are very different things.

So learn from my mistake and don’t order the mango salad from Thai Express, you’ll pay too much money for sadness. And I already pay too much money for sadness — I am, after all, a university student. – JW

Stuff we like — Novels by Christopher Moore

What happened to Jesus between the time he was a born and began his ministry? What if your child was capital D “Death?” What if the fool was the most important character in King Lear?

Christopher Moore attempts to answer all of these questions with a sense of sarcasm, wit, and satirical prowess. However, as you read his novels you realize that he isn’t mocking what he is writing about, instead — especially as is the case with Fool and Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal — he’s probing the what ifs of subjects he’s taken the time to understand.

If you are looking to laugh your ass off at great novels, or just want to read a less Shakespearean version of Shakespeare, but still with all the great tragic rantings, pick up a novel by Christopher Moore. You won’t regret it, and I know, since I’ve read all of them. – JW

Stuff we don’t like — Paying extra for sub-par guac’

Usually when I have to pay extra for guac’ all I’m getting is over ripe avocado slices that have been in a bullet blender for five minutes. If that’s all I’m getting in return for my $3 then I might as well have brought an avocado and done it myself.

There are two major problems here: 1. You’re making me pay for something that should be included in the price and 2. You clearly have no idea how to make guac’.

Guac should be built into the price of appropriate items on the menu, plain and simple. In most cases, the only thing saving your mediocre nachos is the fresh taste of avocado.

What’s worse is that very few people actually make decent guac’.

Pull it together, guys. – TC

Stuff we like — Blanket scarfs

Even if the snow has melted, that winter air is as cold as Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. The only thing preventing me from becoming a grade-A popsicle is my extra large, super soft blanket scarf.

Why sacrifice style with a parka when you can wrap yourself up in a scarf and self-swaddle harder than anyone else. It can also double as a blanket if you need to take a power nap in between classes. – TC

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