Woohoo, Boohoo


Woohoo: Hotmail

I’m a classics kind of gal. I adore all things old. Shakespeare takes over my bookshelf, Elvis takes over my iTunes library, and Degrassi takes over my DVD collection. All things old are gold.

And this is how I feel about my archaic Hotmail account — every early 1990s child’s dream. Fancy emails accounts like randomkid4ever@hotmail.com and glorifiedkidneybean@hotmail.com made us very excited to lurk inside our inboxes full of atrocities.

Anything and everything from “If you don’t send this to seven people within the next five minutes, your dad will die tomorrow,” and “These naked Asian women are ready for you” ads seem to have found your email address, whether or not you actually signed up for them.

The phishing scams that Hotmail has to offer are plentiful, but quite frankly, we’re old enough now to know better than to believe the Nigerian Prince who’s willing to give us $6 million USD if only we help him get into the country for two grand.

Boohoo: Out-dated, hot males

Hot males have a way of capturing our attention, old or not. From George Clooney to Zac Efron, there’s always a choice for someone. Hot males exist in our SFU halls: from Julian Somers in Health Sciences, to Robert Prey from the Communication faculty, each department has got something sexy to offer.

Hot males make me happy. I’m thankful to stand close to them, to talk to them, to creep down the hall after them, to watch from the windows of their homes as they cook dinner. . . hypothetically, I mean.

But all of this changes as soon as I see a hot male using Hotmail. Like, come on, dude. It’s the 21st century. Get with the program. And by program, I mean Gmail, duh. Unless, of course, you’re Clooney, in which case you may use Hotmail.

However, I draw the line at Internet Explorer. Just, no.