French
French

Go back

If categories for greeting card stands were accurate

Humour
EIC
EIC
Less than 1 min.
0
1273
Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons
Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons
Image courtesy of Wikipedia Commons

Instead of “Baby”
“Congratulations on not using a condom”
“I’m going to miss hanging out with you”
“Is the baby mine?”

Instead of “Condolences”
“Sorry (I’m not sure for what exactly, but I’m sorry)”
“Why bother?”

Instead of “Anniversary”
“Please accept this card as my annual re-application to continue being your significant other”
“Look at me, I remembered something”

Instead of “General”
“I spent more time looking at my nose hairs this morning than I did selecting this card for you”
“Please don’t exclude me from your will”
“Hope this makes its way to you okay. I’m not sure if this is even your address anymore”

Instead of “Congratulations”
“Obligatory praise”
“Good enough”

Instead of “Wedding”
“I didn’t put any money inside this card”
“Words to go with the kitchen appliance I purchased for you and your new spouse”

Instead of “Birthday”
“Congratulations on still being alive”
“I know you well enough to feel obligated to buy you something, but not enough to buy you something of significance. So I got you a card”

Was this article helpful?
0
0

Block title

Calls emerge for increased program funding for BC sex workers

News Peak Web -
By: Niveja Assalaarachchi, News Writer On December 16, 2025, 10 organizations — including sex worker-led groups, feminist organizations, and First Nations groups — released a statement marking the International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers. In their statement, the groups called for the provincial government to increase funding for programs serving BC sex workers.  The push comes amid a crisis in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, where centres serving unhoused women, those who face gender-based violence, and support for substance use are closing. In July, the PACE Society, a drop-in centre in the area, permanently closed down. In February, the WISH Drop-In Centre closed temporarily. Most recently, The Tyee reported that the Kingsway Community Station, Vancouver’s last drop-in centre for sex workers, was on the brink of...

Read Next

Block title

Calls emerge for increased program funding for BC sex workers

News Peak Web -
By: Niveja Assalaarachchi, News Writer On December 16, 2025, 10 organizations — including sex worker-led groups, feminist organizations, and First Nations groups — released a statement marking the International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers. In their statement, the groups called for the provincial government to increase funding for programs serving BC sex workers.  The push comes amid a crisis in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, where centres serving unhoused women, those who face gender-based violence, and support for substance use are closing. In July, the PACE Society, a drop-in centre in the area, permanently closed down. In February, the WISH Drop-In Centre closed temporarily. Most recently, The Tyee reported that the Kingsway Community Station, Vancouver’s last drop-in centre for sex workers, was on the brink of...

Block title

Calls emerge for increased program funding for BC sex workers

News Peak Web -
By: Niveja Assalaarachchi, News Writer On December 16, 2025, 10 organizations — including sex worker-led groups, feminist organizations, and First Nations groups — released a statement marking the International Day to End Violence against Sex Workers. In their statement, the groups called for the provincial government to increase funding for programs serving BC sex workers.  The push comes amid a crisis in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, where centres serving unhoused women, those who face gender-based violence, and support for substance use are closing. In July, the PACE Society, a drop-in centre in the area, permanently closed down. In February, the WISH Drop-In Centre closed temporarily. Most recently, The Tyee reported that the Kingsway Community Station, Vancouver’s last drop-in centre for sex workers, was on the brink of...

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024