In an increasingly common display of the unholy nature of science and logic, blasphemous scientists at the Vancouver Genomics center successfully created the first transspecies artificial zygotes last month, using a combination of DNA from an American blue hare and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
The rabbit embryos were obtained from biological supply company Sigma- Aldrich, and the messianic DNA from swabs taken from the Shroud of Turin for “authenticity tests.”
Growing rapidly, each engineered rabbit this way displays a variety of messianic phenotypes, including growing a fantastic beard and develops the abilities to hop on water and cure the myxomatosis from just a touch of the paw.
The project’s chief researcher Johan Flemming debuted one of the newly created Messia-hares at the TED Northwest. “It’s actually quite the logical conundrum, the creatures themselves are definite proof a Christian theological entity. But from all available literature, we should have been turned into pillars of salt or struck down long before we got to this point.”
When asked by a member of the audience what commercial applications there were for magical rabbits, Flemming responded, “We are currently working on non-pulling-out-of-a-hat based uses, but preliminary research has indicated that they are delicious in stew. ”