Scientists combine DNA from rabbit with that of Son of God


In an increasingly common display of the unholy nature of science and logic, blasphemous scientists at the Vancouver Genomics center successfully created the first transspecies artificial zygotes last month, using a combination of DNA from an American blue hare and our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

The rabbit embryos were obtained from biological supply company Sigma- Aldrich, and the messianic DNA from swabs taken from the Shroud of Turin for “authenticity tests.”

Growing rapidly, each engineered rabbit this way displays a variety of messianic phenotypes, including growing a fantastic beard and develops the abilities to hop on water and cure the myxomatosis from just a touch of the paw.

The project’s chief researcher Johan Flemming debuted one of the newly created Messia-hares at the TED Northwest. “It’s actually quite the logical conundrum, the creatures themselves are definite proof a Christian theological entity. But from all available literature, we should have been turned into pillars of salt or struck down long before we got to this point.”

When asked by a member of the audience what commercial applications there were for magical rabbits, Flemming responded, “We are currently working on non-pulling-out-of-a-hat based uses, but preliminary research has indicated that they are delicious in stew. ”

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