By: Sara Brinkac, Cosmic mailman ARIES: Sorry I haven’t gotten out of retrograde. I accidentally had caffeinated tea at 8:00 p.m. last night and my orbital schedule has been a nightmare. — Mercury TAURUS: I get that you’re really into the phrase, “The early bird gets the worm,” but you are neither a bird nor early to anything. So why do you keep trying to eat worms? — Earth GEMINI: If you say anything bad about my dance recital last night I will lose it. I swear I’m not above telling everyone about that one time you farted in…
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By: Luke Faulks, Staff Writer ARIES: After horoscopes have repeatedly failed to accurately predict the ups and downs of your life, you’re starting to doubt their efficacy. At least until right now, when the stars — and I — absolutely…
Continue readingWelcome to 2015, or as it’s known in Chinese mythology, the year of the sheep. According to predictions, the next six months will see a lot of carry-over conflict from the year of the horse, but afterwards things will be…
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