SFU
Your weekly SFU horoscopes: September 23–29
September 23, 2019Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your superiority complex is in full blossom. And you need to manifest it. Irritate your sketchiest, most unstable friend until they lop off your head and impale it on a stick, Lord of the Flies style, looming from the height of SFU’s tallest tower. The entire campus will bear witness to your glory, and you’ll ascend to the blazing throne Satan abdicated when he started sitting in on SFU history seminars. Taurus — April 20–May 20 September’s ending, you morally besieged belugas. Green Day can’t protect you anymore. Wake…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: September 16 – 22
September 16, 2019Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 Your reputation of blood, guts, and rage follows you everywhere. What you need this week is a publicity stunt to change your image. Head off to the fire pits in…
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Devil attends his first ever history seminar, tearfully thanks students who advocated for him
September 16, 2019Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Decades of SFU student activism have finally paid off, it seems. Last Monday, a HIST 466 seminar welcomed a very special new student: the Devil himself. Ever since Lucifer’s original fall from Heaven, the…
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Most popular couple in grade 12 shockingly breaks up on third week of university
September 15, 2019Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief BURNABY, BC — To the absolute shock of their community, Crystal Lemay and Hunter O’Brian, the hottest couple in the 2019 graduating class from Coquitlam’s John Green Secondary School, broke up against all odds three…
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Meet Alex Mac-Queen: How a local hypebeast paid his tuition by reselling Balenciaga sweaters
September 15, 2019Written by Kayli Jamieson, SFU Student The resell game among SFU students has always been quite strong in the textbook department. But who could anticipate the winning strategy of selling bougie clothing pieces from one’s closet to pay off tuition? …
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Seven TOTALLY accurate Netflix documentaries about SFU airing this September
September 11, 2019Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor It’s that time of year again. As the leaves prepare to brown and the SFSS prepares to host yet another overpriced fall event that completely fails to reflect SFU’s uptight, bland culture, Netflix is…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: September 9–15
September 9, 2019Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries Falling asleep on Burnaby Mountain is risky this week. You might find yourself sleepwalking across campus while dreaming of Build SFU manager Clark von Taine. Right when he faux-affably giggles at your incredulity…
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QUIZ: SFU, are you in love with the gondola? Or is he just really, REALLY tall?
September 8, 2019Written by Carter Hemion, Staff Writer It’s the question on all of our minds here at SFU: Are you in love with that tall, tall, dreamboat gondola project? Or are you just infatuated with the idea of him? If you’ve…
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Peak Sports Mailbag: Week 2
September 7, 2019By: Dylan Webb - Sports editor Hello readers of The Peak sports section, My name is Dylan Webb and I’m the new sports editor and this week's host for the inaugural Peak Sports Mailbag. The Peak Sports Mailbag was introduced…
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#AllTheRagrets: What SFU students wish they knew in their first year
September 7, 2019By: Winona Young, Andrea Renney, Nicole Magas, Juztin Bello, Marco Ovies, Gabrielle McLaren, Chris Ho What I wish I knew as a baby SFU first year is . . . … you are going to be bad at university…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]