Most popular couple in grade 12 shockingly breaks up on third week of university

“University’s different. I don’t know, man . . . we just drifted apart.”

Written by Gabrielle McLaren, Editor-in-Chief

BURNABY, BC — To the absolute shock of their community, Crystal Lemay and Hunter O’Brian, the hottest couple in the 2019 graduating class from Coquitlam’s John Green Secondary School, broke up against all odds three weeks into their SFU careers. 

“I couldn’t believe it,” said Gabby Hart, first year communication major and former head of John Green Secondary’s grad committee. “They have been together since, like, tenth grade. Hunter’s grad proposal was the most romantic thing that’s ever happened in any of the Tri-Cities. Her wedding Pinboard was the cutest. 

“When I heard, I had to tell everyone, just to make them as sad as me.” 

According to sources close to Lemay and O’Brian, the couple’s relationship became rocky after Welcome Week ended, when the adrenaline rush of free pancakes and fresh highlighters wore off and the sound of drills meeting concrete brought the couple back to their new brutalist reality. 

“We all thought they were going to last forever,” Hart said. “They were the only couple not to have a pregnancy scare, like, at all.”  

To complicate things further, O’Brian found himself spending the majority of his time on the Burnaby campus, while Lemay’s classes were mostly at Harbour Centre. In an exclusive interview with The Peak, O’Brian elaborated on how university life tore the couple apart. 

“At first, we thought we’d be able to make long distance work,” O’Brian said. “We told ourselves that we would still be connected by the 95 B-Line and our dreams. When I didn’t get into the one and only PSYC 101 tutorial she and our 12 closest friends had in RCB [Robert C. Brown Hall], it all started going downhill.” 

At the time of press, it was unclear who had broken up with who. O’Brian danced around the subject before calling the break-up a mutual choice made by the former king and queen. When The Peak sat down with Lemay at the Cornerstone Starbucks, she frowned over her latte.

“He said that?” Lemay said. “Whatever . . . it’s fine. University is an opportunity for a fresh start. As you can see, I got a helix piercing against my mom’s will and dyed my hair.”

“It’s not like we were going to get married,” O’Brian told The Peak.

“He said that, too?” Lemay asked, shifting uncomfortably. “That’s not what he said at Holiday Inn when . . . It’s whatever; I’m on Tinder now.”