By: Maya Barillas Mohan, Staff Writer
A new melancholic book written by University of Victoria student Rhonda Webster describes the realities of bipolar disorder. Please Stay With Me, is about 80 pages long and illustrated in full colour by the author’s daughter-in-law, Zoe Webster. The Peak interviewed Rhonda Webster to learn more about how and why the work came to life.
Please Stay With Me is based on Webster’s own story growing up with a mom living with bipolar disorder (symptoms can include a fear of dependency on others, being stigmatized as a “selfish parent,” and constant self-doubt) exuding the “rawness of feelings exploited and exposed.” The experience of caretaking comes with feelings like “anger and happiness, hate and love, and pain,” which Webster describes as unbalanced dualities. The book aims to “let the world see that [a] person is not defined by their illness,” and in the case of her own mother, refute how “people would outcast my mum because of her illness, and they would miss the opportunity to meet an amazing woman who was well read, cared deeply about people, and fiercely defended her values.”
Through the book, images “augment and elevate the story.” Zoe and Rhonda Webster worked together to offer the reader “an ability to feel the story,” weaving the heavy nature of the storyline with visual depictions evoking tears and joy. “Telling difficult stories is necessary,” Webster continues, “so other people experiencing difficulties realize they are not alone.” In an effort to best share her trials with others who may relate, Webster has taken care to universalize her characters by referring to them as “daughter” and “mother,” to erase the “isolation loved ones often feel” while reading.
Webster’s book communicates the reality of mental health struggles to only those who want to understand them. “Communicating with people that show up to share their judgement and opinions creates a defensive conversation and halts all communication.” Webster also explains she does not think “anyone other than the person experiencing the struggles can clearly explain what it feels like.” To mediate being a speaker and listener, Webster tells The Peak,
“Sometimes we need to be too much and honour our voice; other times we may need to be in a place of listening and understanding which may be honouring more of our quietness.” — Rhonda Webster, author of Please Stay With Me
Ultimately, Please Stay With Me reflects the “beautiful times encased within the turbulent [ones].” Webster hopes the reader will understand “you are not responsible for how someone else feels; you are only responsible for how you feel and react. You start to learn what is within your control and what is not, and once you find peace in that you experience more of life’s pleasures.” Please Stay With Me is a meditation of resilience and love.
Please Stay With Me can be purchased at Wild Skies Press.
