SFU
Students still can’t name their Fall 2019 classes, know only the course numbers
January 6, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Though the Spring 2020 semester has just started, most of SFU’s student body reportedly cannot name their courses from last semester when asked. Students all over SFU’s three campuses engaged this morning in their first round of empty first-day-back small talk of the new decade. Witnesses report that whenever a student was asked what courses they had taken in the fall, they could only offer the course numbers. "nobody has ever taken enough interest in an SFU student to actually ask for details about what they study." According to Jared Allen, second-year English student,…
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“Go.re.miSFU”: SFU opts for invasive singing telegrams over grade email notifications
January 6, 2020Written by Madeleine Chan, Staff Writer Students at SFU will get notified about their final grades in a melodic way at the end of this semester. The university has employed a fleet of five human singing telegrams to inform the…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: January 6–12
January 6, 2020Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor Aries — March 21–April 19 You’ve made your New Years’ resolutions. And you’ll break them all this week. But don’t feel guilty. It’s hard, committing to stop buying Nutella at the grocer’s when you…
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What are SFU students looking forward to in 2020?
January 3, 2020By: Kelly Chia, Meera Eragoda, Victoria Lopatka, Nicky Magas, Lubaba Mahmud, Kim Regala I want to live my twenties without guilt about taking time to rest. Hi there, 2020. 2019 was a year of many firsts for me: it was the…
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CONFESSIONALS: I was the student who reminded the teacher of a deadline
November 27, 2019Written by James Conn, SFU Student Before coming to SFU, I attended Douglas College. On one fateful day, in a political science lecture, our class was eerily awaiting the professor to spring a quiz on us. However, he seemed to…
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SFU Pangrams to Test your Fonts
November 25, 2019Written by Lubaba Mahmud, Staff Writer We all know the classic sentence which uses all 26 letters of the alphabet: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.” But this is too damn generic. Sure, there are several other…
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Your weekly SFU horoscopes: November 25–30
November 24, 2019Aries — March 21–April 19 Well, you did it. You got through the semester without (being arrested for?) arson. So spend this week reminding yourself that pyromania is not a Christmas gift you give yourself — nor is it a Christmas…
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‘Tis the season to hail Mariah
November 24, 2019Written by Juztin Bello, Copy Editor For most, November is just another ordinary month, because their lives are meaningless and boring. For some, it’s the month to celebrate the first reported instance of white privilege. But one thing the world…
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SFU GOTHIC: The school creeps on . . .
November 22, 2019Written by Kelly Chia, Staff Writer You are in C9000 and you hear wheels. Everyone stops talking to listen to the wheels. The sound is anywhere and everywhere. The lecture hall starts quivering. You hear people talk about being trapped…
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With the archangels’ trumpets missing, God books SFU’s bagpipers to summon the Apocalypse
November 22, 2019Written by Rodolfo Boskovic, SFU Student Do you have a due date coming up? Forget about it. If you’ve had time to look outside lately, you might have noticed: it’s the end times, baby! I don’t know about you, but…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]