life
SFU students fail the criteria for life, researchers confirm
April 3, 2018By: Elise Burgert, “Life” Sciences Experimenter Throughout history, scientific consensus has been that the organisms occupying Simon Fraser University, a concrete behemoth sitting atop Burnaby Mountain, were homo sapiens. Recent evidence, however, has unveiled shocking findings. Not only are they incorrectly classified, but the students of SFU do not even meet the definition of living organisms. This story will discuss the illuminating rationale behind this extraordinary declassification: the journey through which scientists have proven that sometimes even our most fundamental assumptions are, in fact, flawed. One crucial feature of life is that an organism must be…
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CINEPHILIA: Wiener-Dog is trapped in its own matter-of-factness
July 4, 2016Todd Solondz, the director of cringe-comedies like Happiness and Storytelling, observes the world without corrective lenses. Movies can project idealized images, but Solondz sees things as they are. His films are about the messy pieces in life and how they…
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Taking (many) of the roads less travelled
May 16, 2016[dropcap]T[/dropcap]o most of my friends, family, and others who run into me, I’m one of the few students who seems to have their shit together. I know exactly what I’m here for, how long it’ll take, which classes will take…
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COLUMN | LIST BITCH: 10 stupid things that I don’t have time for
May 13, 2016List Bitch is a new web-exclusive column featuring feisty, unapologetic listicles on life. Check back each week for new content! 1) Decaf coffee There is a special place in hell for whoever created decaf coffee. Seriously. What a colossal waste of my precious,…
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12 lessons this semester has (almost literally) shoved down my throat
April 3, 20161) Don’t google your symptoms. Ever. Or watch House. And for the love of God, do not do both simultaneously unless you want to end up in the ER at three a.m. with some erroneous phantom disease. 2) If someone hurts your…
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A city is what you make of it
February 26, 2016[dropcap]G[/dropcap]etting to know a city is not easy. There is so much personality, and history, that it takes several treks up and down its hills and side streets to learn what it's all about. In a previous piece I wrote…
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Life’s an adventure, not a quest
January 25, 2016[dropcap]I[/dropcap]t was the first nice weekend in January when I and my friends boarded a plane traveling from Marseille to Lisbon. A few weeks prior to this beautiful, warm January day, we decided to chase the sun west and spend…
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#ShoutYourAbortion is a tragedy
October 19, 2015On October 5, an article written in The Peak regarding the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion taught me two things. The first is that the author possess a strong heart and good intentions. The second is that a fruitful dialogue can be constructed…
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Woohoo, Boohoo
August 4, 2015Woohoo: Life beyond earth Outer space and extraterrestrial life have always fascinated me. I contemplate civilization through the course of human history — our barbarisms, thoughts and choices, values and ideals, our survival mechanisms — and I’m always struck with…
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Young, wild, and married
June 1, 2015I started the first year of my undergraduate career in 2012, spreading my wings at this great university, and by Summer 2013, I was engaged — not just by SFU, but to an actual person. While still undecided on whether…
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