HUMOUR
The Adult(erating) side of Sesame Street
October 11, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer, Extremely Apologetic Yet another classic cartoon is getting a makeover by the CW. This time, Sesame Street gets weird. Elmo becomes Emo in this reboot that never should have been. We apologize in advance for what you are about to read. SESAME STREET UPPER WEST SIDE OF NEW YORK CITY Hundreds of apartments line the trash-filled New York street. CAMERA slow-zooms over the brick buildings, ultimately zooming in on EMO walking slowly on the sidewalk. EMO (AGE 18) is seen slumping down the street. EMO is wearing headphones and holding an iPod in his hand,…
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A scorned letter to the 143
October 10, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Dear . . . Hah, you could never be dear again, so hell-o 143, You may not remember me, but I sure as hell remember you. Yeah, that’s right, I’m the student you leave stranded…
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Horoscopes Oct 10th–Oct 16th
October 10, 2022By: Kelly Chia, reader of the Stars and fanfiction Aries: Take literary inspiration and dress up as a scarlet “A” this year, as in Scarlet Letter. Not only will you show your teachers initiative by dressing as an A, you…
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Top five ways to hide a pandemic
October 9, 2022By: Michelle Young, Editor-in-Chief COVID-19 was declared a pandemic in 2020, but we’re over it now. It’s too much hassle and we’ve decided to focus on treating each other with the very real act of kindness and washing our hands…
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Local student disappointed that icebreakers don’t involve actual ice (and other literal disappointments)
October 7, 2022By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, Staff Writer VANCOUVER — A student showed up to an icebreaker at the Goldcorp Centre for the Arts with an ice pick and giant ice cube. Onlookers described initially being in shock until they found out the…
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Here’s what you missed on Riverdale
October 5, 2022By: C Icart, staff writer There are currently 117 episodes of Riverdale. I have seen all of them. Any ridiculous plotline you can possibly think of has probably been done. At this point, I don’t think any of us can…
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Confessionals: Halloween girlie refuses to be confronted by her own fears
October 5, 2022By: Ab-horror-nt and Valid (Kelly Chia, Humour Editor) I am human. I am mortal. And alas, I think I have an all too relatable conundrum. The fall of all reputable Halloween girlies, the grand hamartia of everyone who claims they…
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Which trash panda are you?
September 29, 2022By: Sharon Ha, SFU Student Trash pandas, otherwise known as raccoons of the family procyonidae, are not only cute, they are terrifying. Why? Because they are mouthy, smart, and awesome! Why not find out which one you are while you…
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Horoscopes Sept 26th–Oct 2nd
September 28, 2022By: Max Lorette and Kelly Chia, Partners in Star Crimes Aries Don’t look now, Aries, but the junk folder in your email is beginning to grow sentient. Before long, it will be strong enough. The Stars haven’t told me exactly…
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An Ode To My Luvr
September 28, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Overly Devoted Staff Writer Dear Renaissance, Oh, how I love you so, You stand by me when I need you most; Your presence everlasting, unwavering, and eager — My life on the line, I would put…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]