HUMOUR
Cryptid Spotlight: The disappearing tutorial room on SFU Snap
October 31, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Students, On this sunny October afternoon, we bring you a nightmare every undergrad student can surely relate to. Today’s story comes from Bend n. Snap, a student just like you, lost in the seemingly endless corners of the Burnaby building. They made the morbid mistake of trusting . . . SFU Snap. Just shudder-inducing. We’ll let Snap tell you the story. Snap was searching for a quiet room to study on the sixth floor of the AQ, a site of increasingly frequent paranormal activity. This labyrinth has confused many innocent students on their valiant quests to…
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The United Nations has some trouble putting out fires on their Security Council
October 30, 2022By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, Staff Writer NEW YORK —The Dag Hammarskjöld Library at the United Nations burnt to the ground after it caught fire. Extraordinarily, no one was hurt, but the loss was immense. While observers thought some kind of jurisdictional…
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Whistler invaded by emus
October 26, 2022By: Clarence Ndabahwerize, Staff Writer WHISTLER — A Kiwi tourist was in for a nasty surprise when she woke up at one of Whistler’s renowned lodges and found an emu staring right at her. After screaming for 15 minutes, the…
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Opinions in Garbage: Reginald the III and Stinks the Raccoon discuss
October 26, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor and Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer The Peak has had the incredible opportunity to gather two of SFU Burnaby’s most coveted raccoon starlets: resident food critic Reginald the III himself and Stinks the Raccoon, TV personality…
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Cryptid Spotlight: It’s Never Toi-late to Find THE Toilet!
October 25, 2022By: Suraj Raj, SFU Student Today’s exploration in Cryptid Spotlight takes a turn toward the sewers. Isn’t it difficult being a student with an 8:00 a.m. class? You have no time to eat breakfast. Now you have to leave for…
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Eight things brewing in your barista’s brain
October 25, 2022By: Gem Yelin Lee, Copy Editor There are things customers who have never worked in a café will probably not know. Among these include the ability to act like a decent human being with bare minimum manners, and the daily…
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Confessionals: I look at episode summaries of shows I say I’ll watch
October 20, 2022By: Showstopper Dearly beloved, sinners, and worse, drivers in downtown Vancouver, I come to this sacred space to confess another crime. It has taken me years to admit this about myself, but I think it’s always good to set examples…
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Choose your own adventure: A date with McFogg
October 17, 2022By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor INTRO: You came to Simon Fraser University to engage yourself in many different disciplines. You didn’t expect that you could possibly . . . get engaged. You admit, this brutalist building might capture your heart…
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BREAKING: Lost Welcome Leader Found in the Depths of RCB
October 16, 2022By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer Raccoon News was informed of a developing story at SFU’s Burnaby Mountain campus this afternoon. The authorities arrived at SFU after receiving calls about a former student and welcome leader who was found wandering the…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]