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Your exam survival guide

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[dropcap]A[/dropcap]re you prepared for exam season? It’s that time of the semester when students mindlessly roam the hallway in search of snacks, and end up skipping class to study for the class they skipped last week. Follow our guide and make sure you have all the essentials at the ready to survive the fast-approaching exam season.

 

  1. Coffee

Caffeine should be the only thing in your bloodstream. The ideal formula is four venti coffees from Starbucks per exam. It also helps to stock up on some junk food and miscellaneous snacks — you will most likely attempt to eat your stress away.

  1. Pajama bottoms and Ugg boots

You won’t just be wearing pajamas to bed anymore they’re a finals season wardrobe staple. The softer, fluffier, and cozier the pajama material, the better. If you’re preparing for a final that’s worth 40+ percent of your grade, strongly consider a onesie. Ugg boots are basically pajamas for your feet, so the two pieces naturally go hand-in-hand.

  1. Cell phone (With essential timewasters downloaded)

Make sure that your phone is near you at all times. After about five minutes of studying, you may need a break a phone with the essential applications like Netflix, Chitter, and Candy Crush is the best way to procrastinate efficiently. Use this tool wisely, as it can be a catalyst for emotional breakdowns later.

  1. Toque

Did you stay up all night and wake up with your face in your textbook and your hair going in 12 different directions? Well that’s nothing that a handy toque can’t fix! Along with its ability to pass as a stylish accessory, it’s also an easy solution for hiding the fact that you haven’t showered in days and your hair is a greasy mess.

  1. Box of tissues

Many tears will be shed in frustration and exhaustion, so it is best to prepare for the aftermath of the waterworks. A general rule of thumb is to buy four-ply Kleenex tissues in bulk, and to carry a small pack of tissues on you at all times. It will also be there when your exams are finally over and you are able to cry tears of joy.

  1. Backpack

The backpack is the treasure chest of student essentials during final exam season. It should include, but is not limited to: a variety of salty and fattening snacks, any notes you managed to make in the two hours’ worth of studying you did, and your sticky and faded student ID card to show your professor before an exam that sadly, you are who you say you are.

The best animated shows on TV right now

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Cartoons aren't just for kids anymore!

There was a point as a child when I just stopped watching cartoons. I’m not entirely sure what nebulous social rule told me I needed to stop doing something that I liked, but I stopped watching nonetheless.

It wasn’t until I was older, wiser, and out of my “everything-that-I-do-must-be-cool-or-rebellious” phase, I came to realize that cartoons were cool. Specifically, ones that were created for an intelligent audience. That’s not to say that every episode of these shows is filled with references and humour that only the most educated will understand, but they do go beyond needing to be funny for the sake of having to be funny. They also avoid fart jokes as the main source of humour, which is always a win in my books. Here are five of my favourite animated shows currently on the air.

Before I start my top five list, I would like to throw out two honourable mentions of shows that are no longer with us.

The first goes to Futurama. Even though it was also created by Matt Groening, I’ve always felt that it was the far superior show. Don’t get me wrong, I like The Simpsons, but there was just something about the humour of Futurama that makes me wish it was the 20+ season show.

The second goes to Gravity Falls. Don’t let the fact that this is a Disney show fool you, there is just as much in it for adults as kids. While it saddens me deeply that this show was only two seasons long kudos to Alex Hirsch for killing it before it could get bad. That takes balls.

5. Archer

I won’t be the first or last person to say it, but this show has been on the decline since that disastrous Archer: Vice season. I get that you needed a way to get ISIS out of the show ASAP, but that season just sucked. It doesn’t look like the newest season will be loads better, although it does look like it will be returning to its James Bond-esque roots, but I will always hold out hope the it will reclaim the glory of its early seasons. Otherwise, the sugary and non-gritty plots will attract ants. That is how you get ants.

4. Steven Universe

Cartoon Network has had some hits (Adventure Time) and misses (Annoying Orange and Uncle Grandpa) in their kids programming as of late. Thankfully, Steven Universe is a hit. Each 11-minute episode usually ends with a neat and tidy solution, but that’s not why you watch it. You watch it for the host of relatable characters and the overarching plots. Sometimes it can get bogged down by the fact that this is actually a kids show, but those times are rare. Also can we talk about how Steven and Connie are the OTP of OTPs? Too cute.

3. Bob’s Burgers

I was sceptical of this show when I first heard the premise, mostly of the fact that it seemed like a waste of an animated show. A sitcom about a struggling family living above their restaurant? Please. The first season didn’t do much to ease my skepticism, but the seasons since haven’t disappointed. The characters are expertly crafted, especially Tina, Gene, and Louise. They provide the perfect balance of angst, comedic relief, and maniacal plots that keep the show moving forward. Also, the appreciation of butts will never go out of style.

2. Rick and Morty

A show about an alcoholic mad scientist who lives in his daughter’s garage, mostly ignores his granddaughter, hates his son-in-law, and goes on interdimensional adventures with his grandson. How did this get past the pilot? Because this show is relatable. Even though you might not have parties with Abradolf Lincler and Bird Person, the themes that are present throughout the show get you invested in the characters pretty quickly mostly because you can see a little bit of yourself in each of them. Also Rick’s phrases are pure gold, especially, “Riggity riggity wrecked!”

1. BoJack Horseman

This show is hands-down the best animated show on TV — well technically Netflix, but at this point they really are the same thing. I guess you could technically classify this as a comedy, but it has many aspects of other television genres expertly brought in. Again, it has the relatability factor going for it, but it is so much stronger in BoJack than in other shows. It deals with depression, substance abuse, and the overwhelming feeling that you might have peaked too soon. Also, the one episode when Todd actually gets to help and feel useful even though he fucks it up? That gets me everytime. I understand your pain, Todd.

FOOD FIGHT: El Santo brings the taste of Mexico to New West

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The Verduras tacos keep the vegetarians and vegans from feeling left out with the meat-centric menu.

El Santo will shatter your conceptions of authentic Mexican cuisine. Founder Alejandro Diaz and Head Chef Shane King have formed a soon-to-be legendary collaboration to bring the fresh and modern cuisine culture of Mexico City to New Westminster.

Proudly local, Diaz has expressed his excitement for belonging and giving back to such an amazing community. “I love the heritage and character of New West,” said Diaz. “At El Santo, we want to emphasize the extraordinary social experience of eating.” He went on to tell me that the company’s phenomenal interior design is all done by New Westminster companies, and that all their beers and wines are from BC.

With the aim of keeping their food as fresh as possible, everything including the tortillas, salsas, and guacamole is prepared daily, and you can certainly taste the difference. “We’re trying to place more focus on staying true to exposing people to the authentic, regional dishes of Mexico rather than the stereotypical foods associated with Mexican cuisine,” explained Diaz. “We want to show people that it’s much more than beans and cheese.”

El Santo’s head-to-tail sustainable menu is carefully curated by King, inspired by years of traveling around the world. The menu is a fusion of foreign and familiar flavors, with both traditional Spanish and modern regional Mexican influences. The ‘El Santo Huevo’ is a popular favourite and a part of their 3 to 6 p.m. Happy Hour menu. In King’s take on a scotch egg, the dish is a masa battered soft boiled egg, wrapped with house made chorizo, and served with habanero apple jam. Other popular items are the ‘Cachete taco,’ made of slow-braised beef cheek, and ‘Pescado a la veracruzana,’ which is a West Coast rockfish served head to tail with cilantro pesto green rice.

Although El Santo has an obviously  meat-focused menu, King does not neglect vegetarian appetites. “We want to include everybody in the flavours and in the directions where we are going,” said King. “I think it’s natural as a chef to include vegan and vegetarian options, it’s not a challenge.”

From the Happy Hour menu, there are several vegetarian options including ‘Rajas con crema,’ a creamy skillet dish of roasted peppers, grilled pineapple and corn, served with an abundance of tortillas on the side, and ‘Chiles Padron,’ blistered peppers with lime and sea salt seasoning. Other eclectic options include a of trio of guacamole and salsas, uniquely crafted salads, and my personal favourite ‘Verduras’ tacos, a unique blend of roasted cauliflower, sikil pak, and mango salsa.

If you are a fan of adding spice to your food, ask for some of that exquisite habanero apple jam, but use an easy hand  — at first you get the sweetness of the Okanagan McIntosh apple, then slowly but surely the habanero comes back to kick you in the taste buds with a feisty fire. It’s absolutely incredible, and we not-so-subtly suggested that Diaz and King consider selling it by the jar.

All in all, El Santo’s creativity and passion is impressive. The prices are fair for the quality dining experience it is, and reservations are accepted. Happy Hour is on every day from 3 to 6 p.m. along with delicious lunch options involving irresistible Mexican versions of eggs benedict. They have the largest selection of 100 percent agave tequilas that I’ve ever seen, and other beverages made to complement their dishes.

El Santo is well worth a visit, but be warned: you will be enticed back again and again.

SFSS to host Music Showcase Extravaganza

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Vocal Jazz (Jessie Chung directing) prepares for the Extravaganza.

To those in the know, it is no secret that outgoing Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS) President Enoch Weng has a passion for music. His past involvement with different music clubs campus gave him a unique perspective on the relationship between the clubs, “I started to notice that there was a few people who overlapped, but for the most part, the music clubs were all so isolated,” Weng told The Peak.

After witnessing this isolation first hand, Weng thought he “could unite them with some purpose.” Out of this, the idea for the Music Showcase Extravaganza was born, albeit in a nebulous form. “I called a meeting with all the presidents of the music clubs at the time together, to see what we could work on. It was great connecting everyone together, as many ideas were shared, and in the years afterwards, collaborations between clubs started happening,” stated Weng.

His ultimate goal, however, was to see all the music clubs on campus come together to perform in a single concert that would showcase SFU’s “musical ohana” as he called it. This dream wasn’t actually realized until this semester with the first Music Showcase Extravaganza happening on March 31.

He brought the idea forward to the Events and Promotions Committee for two reasons. The first being to realize his long standing dream of a single music clubs concert, the second “to offer something new to the SFSS. Primarily the events thrown have always featured the same types of genres (like EDM), and the lack of diversity did not reflect our entire student membership,” he stated.

While the Music Showcase Extravaganza might have been Weng’s brainchild, he noted that “the clubs have all been very enthusiastic and have been on board since the very beginning. They have helped give input on the planning of the event, and have been so responsive throughout.“

Nathalie Scott-Hsiung the co-president of the Concert Orchestra, and current co-lead for the project, the other being Weng, stated through email, “It’s a great feeling to host a concert where the final result is due to all the extra time students volunteer on top of their school and work life, and to do it with other student musicians is a real treat.”

Scott-Hsiung also stated that, “We [the Concert Orchestra] are most excited to expand our audience and give a little taste of our sound to those who haven’t attended a concert of ours.”

Aside from the Concert Orchestra the Music Showcase Extravaganza will feature Jazz Band, Recital Society, Vocal Jazz, and SFU Choir.


 

The Music Showcase Extravaganza will be held on March 31 at the SFU Burnaby Theatre. Doors open at 5:30 p.m., and the concert starts 6:30. Admission is free.

Limitless: more than just a TV sequel to a movie

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Brian Finch is a slacker who becomes a genius by taking NZT.

By: Vincent Justin Mitra, SFU Student

Limitless is a show about a man who takes a pill to become a genius and works with the FBI to catch criminals. It is as weirdly brilliant as its premise.

The series is a follow-up to the 2011 film of the same name and follows Brian Finch (Jake McDorman), a twenty-something slacker who lives with his parents and performs in empty bars as the last member of his high school rock band. In the pilot episode he is introduced to NZT, the mysterious miracle pill that gives him perfect recall of everything he has ever seen or done, making him the smartest person in the world for the twelve hours after taking it.

He is soon paired up with FBI Special Agent Rebecca Harris (Jennifer Carpenter) who acts as his handler while the FBI investigates the drug and the reason why Brian is apparently immune to its fatal side-effects. Secretly, this immunity is from an injection given to Brian by Eddie Morra (Bradley Cooper), the protagonist from the 2011 film, in exchange for Brian spying on the FBI’s on Morra’s behalf.

The series drops the thriller aspects from the original film in exchange for a slot in the crowded police drama market and, while the two leads do follow the cliché “responsible lady skeptic” and “quirky immature dude” pairing, what they do with the rest of the show is fascinating.

One thing that separates Limitless from other cop shows is its refusal to fully adhere to the normal “cop show” episode pattern.

We’ve seen the pattern before: dead body is found, cops investigate, weird evidence/complication, crazy theory, personal issues, sudden revelation, mystery solved. As the show goes on, however, this becomes less and less the plot. Recent episodes have dropped this pattern entirely, such as having Brian work to arrest the FBI’s entire 10 Most Wanted Criminals list as part of a bet to get his own office.

Where the show excels is how we see things through Brian’s imagination, like picturing his co-workers in dramatic action film scenarios before getting corrected. Another episode — where Brian visits his first bloody murder scene — has him retreat into his mind where a Barney the Dinosaur lookalike suggests replacing all the “scary” words with ” fun” words. Then the rest of the episode has the agents say things like “we have a serial hugger on our hands” and referencing the “soda pop” spatter on the walls and body.

In a recent episode, Brian bribes a high-ranking Russian official with spoilers for the ending of Game of Thrones. No secret mistress, no gun to his head, just a cellphone with a direct line to George R.R. Martin and the ultimate fate of Westeros. The writers of Limitless didn’t need to do that. But they did. And it made me smile.

It is moments like this that set this show apart. This fun little moment is Limitless in a nutshell, telling you everything you need to know about Brian Finch, about the world he lives in, and about the show itself. It is a fun, well-written show with likeable characters that is not afraid to buck convention.

And it is brilliant.


 

Limitless airs Mondays at 9 p.m. on Global.

CINEPHILIA: Terrence Malick is a divisive visionary

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Malick’s twirling women become synthetic reproductions that challenge the male gaze.

If you’ve ever seen a film by Terrence Malick, director of elusive films such as The Tree of Life, The Thin Red Line, and Days of Heaven, you know about his ‘Twirling Women.’ Malick’s fragmented female characters are often depicted dancing over pristine natural backdrops with a whispered voiceover; they can be seen as feelings and symbols more than actual characters. Malick is a spiritual and sensual filmmaker who rarely casts ugly people in his films, but the obscuring of Malick’s characters and narrative is by no means a gendered phenomenon. The male figures in his films are equally elusive.

Since To The Wonder premiered a few years ago, many critics who praised Malick’s early films have derided his recent works as self-parody. Knight of Cups, his most recent masterpiece, has undoubtedly been the most divisive film of the year so far, with defenders crowning it as the pinnacle of his experimentation while many detractors label it ‘misogynistic’ and ‘male privilege garbage.’

Centering on Rick, a screenwriter in Hollywood, Knight of Cups is a variation of John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress, a Christian allegory about an everyman who leaves the City of Destruction for the Celestial City, representing a shift in mindset from the material to the eternal. Rick is similar to the protagonist of The Pilgrim’s Progress; he embarks on a journey from the synthetic reality of Hollywood hedonism to the spiritual connection with an immaterial deity. Malick’s film is overtly metaphysical in its thematic concerns, considering the implications of materialism, but it is also his most overtly political film, particularly in terms of its representation of women.

Like many great filmmakers, including Martin Scorsese, a feminist analysis of Knight of Cups must consider context, particularly how the film’s themes impact the representation of women. Merely pointing out the inclusion of the female body as aestheticized is not a sufficient condition for misogyny. By these standards, some of the influential feminist artworks from the late ’60s and early ’70s, like Cindy Sherman’s Untitled Film Stills or the performance art of Valie Export, would also be considered sexist. The meaning of the work impacts how we view the role of women within it.

By either omitting that Knight of Cups is a deconstruction of the male gaze, or worse yet, by being completely ignorant of it, many ‘takedowns’ of the film adopt a misguided feminist criticism against the film. In Glenn Kenny’s piece for his blog Some Came Running, he says, “The sexism in Knight Of Cups is real ‘I can’t be bothered to make these women anything more than pretty symbols’ stuff. Kind of inexcusable, I thought.” Similarly, a piece at The Huffington Post by Karina Eileraas, a professor at USC who admitted she hadn’t even seen the film, argues her case for not wanting to see the film based on excerpts from others’ reviews.

In her article, she writes: “Women as spectacle and eye candy are here to take us to higher ground, so to speak. And so, female audiences are perpetually expected to turn a blind eye to humiliating flashes of women on screen in order to empathize with a male protagonist who graduates from sexual indulgence and existential angst to a more enlightened state of being.”

Throughout this clickbait article masquerading as a thoughtful backlash, Eileraas makes the same mistake as Kenny.

In the context of Bunyan’s allegory, the formal presentation of the images and the development of Malick’s cinematic language, it’s clear that not a single instance of Knight of Cups is meant to be taken literally. Instead we are immersed in Rick’s subjectivity, which leads to a complete abstraction of conventional narrative. This is crucial to how we interpret the representation of women. The women are not objectified by Malick’s camera but by Rick’s gaze. Through the director’s unique marriage of form and content it has been difficult for many to see this distinction.

However, Knight of Cups is quite frankly overtly feminist, a film that actively deconstructs the male gaze of advertisements, Hollywood film, and the libidinal desires of its central male character. One of Rick’s lovers, to whom we are introduced wearing a phony wig in the reflection of a pane of glass, is represented through the sexualized idea with which Rick perceives her. Inside his mind, she is merely a façade, a put-on used to please his gaze. Over voiceover this woman declares about Rick, “You don’t want love. You want a love experience.” Images and the pictures in the heterosexual male’s sexual fantasies are not real women; they are synthetic reproductions. They reduce female identity to a flavour, something to be tasted then discarded.

Similarly, later in the film, Rick is at a strip club where an adult dancer tells him she can be whatever he wants. She is malleable. She can orient herself to any of Rick’s fantasies. Contrary to what Kenny and Eileraas argue, the women in the film are not devices to serve the male protagonist. But, rather, through his womanizing tendencies, Rick becomes unsatisfied with his decadent lifestyle. He sees the need to journey toward the Celestial City.

As Malick’s form has become progressively more abstract and experimental, it’s been easier for critics to read his films under the same presuppositions they would use to evaluate any other filmmaker. But Malick isn’t like any other filmmaker — he is a visionary. He uses the evocative and spiritual potential of the cinema to challenge our materialistic and hedonistic impulses, including the insidious male gaze.

Why you should go to puppy therapy, like, now

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OMG I just went to the most adorbs exam stress reliever event EVER: puppy therapy! Here are like some of my reasons why these doggies are like, wayyy better than Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes.

1. You, like, get all the likes on social media.

My pic with the cutest Golden Retriever doggie got me 150 likes on Insta! I felt so fetch.

2. You feel #blessed.

Like, it’s not everyday where I get to pet a cute animal, you know? How #blessed I am.

3. You get cuddles and kissies! XOXO

When the puppies lick your hand and face it’s like, OMG. . . #melting #feelingloved

4. The puppies are soft, like your UGG boots.

It’s like you’re cuddling your cozy UGG boots — so like, they’re not just for your feet anymore, but that, like, soft cushiony feeling is everywhere.

5. CUTENESS OVERLOAD! :O :O :O
OMG ALL THE DOGGIES ARE CUTE AF ASJFDKJFIDSOJFLSJDFL <3 <3 <3

From the Mind of Sam Gorick

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“Sometimes I like to play with a Yo-Yo so I can know what it’s like to have someone come back to me.”

“You know how Netflix always recommends a show to watch every time you finish watching a program? The other day Netflix recommended I watch ‘my weight.’”

“I have to write my term paper on Star Wars, which answers two of my mother’s questions: ‘How is school going?’ and, ‘Have you met any girls?’”

“The worst show I ever had was on West Hastings right down on Main Street there. I told my jokes and I thought I was spot on, but they just weren’t connecting with the audience, it wasn’t until after when I realized. . . Homeless people don’t get inside jokes.”

“There’s a lot of great bands coming to Vancouver this year, I just got tickets to Flight of the Conchords in June, Weezer in July, I’m really excited. But you know who I would love to see live? My grandma.”

SFU Replies

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Hey SFU,

I’m a history student, and I’m wondering if I can learn more about the portal that opened up two months ago, days before the current school government took control from the previous oppressors.

We all know it’s controlled by belief, but how did it open in the first place? Just curious.

You know, for history.

Maria Cole, gender: F, dept: history, BT: A, GPA: 3.2, good standing

 

Maria,

I will certainly address your concern, but I should take a moment to draw attention to what is on the minds of everyone at the Students’ Republic of SFU. What is not on everyone’s mind, I should say; the resulting destruction of Dr. Wolf Mann, the wolfman.

SFU students: yes, Dr. Mann does not exist. With a heavy heart, we admit that. He did exist, because we real individuals, as a collective, made it so. But we have imagined him out of existence. I, too, have lost the power to believe in his existence, giving into pressure from the Republic’s collective consciousness.

But I can assure you that the remainder of SFU’s governance continues to exist strongly, because we’re real. We’re real and you remember that we’re real, and there’s no reason to think otherwise. Your respect and, indeed, your fears are real. We are real. You don’t want to drive yourself insane by the thought of our non-existence.

After all, if we didn’t exist, how could you be reading this right now? How could you have spoken to us? How could we have names? How could you remember us so vividly, as if from even before you met us? A story.

A story.

I’m sorry, SFU students: can’t think straight. I’m tired.

i’m tired.

So you’re wondering about the portal that makes The Students’ Republic of SFU great. It is indeed opened by belief, but not only belief.

i feel light.

It’s also opened by intent. One would have to have the intent to close the portal permanently.

we as a collective believed in our existence, and we focused, and we opened, and we built our Students’ Republic of SFU.

SFU is strong. We are strong, if we are together, because we    all

we all exist, SFU

best,

the sphynx

sfu president

Boxer Briefs

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Burnaby campus revealed to be a flying fortress

[BURNABY] – SFU Burnaby recently unveiled itself as a flying mountain fortress. The project’s success was due to a collaboration between Star Wars and Star Trek fans to pursue intergalactic space travel. However, politics have prevented the school fortress from taking off, citing issues in safety. For now, students will no longer have to take the malfunctioning system of transit, as hovercraft vehicles have been made to reach the campus, which continues to be elevated in the sky. The fortress is also equipped with long-range cannons, designed to destroy even the strongest of pipeline supplies of the Kinder Morgan pipeline project.

SFU Vancouver professor slapped by pizza slices

[VANCOUVER] – An SFU Vancouver professor was baffled and awestruck when he was slapped repeatedly by pizza slices that he ordered from a nearby pizza joint. The professor reported that the pizza slices went berserk after he took a single slice from the pizza box and bit into it. The incident convinced SFU’s scientific research division to restart a late program that was built upon the theory that various food items possess a collective consciousness. The program was initially shut down back in the 1960s due to the one question that no one in the program was willing to answer: “Are you nuts?”

The City of Surrey temporarily shuts down public services

[SURREY] – After reading a book on Stoicism by William Irvine, City Counsellor Cenaka Matiisin was inspired to employ the technique of temporary self-denial on a macro scale. Matiisin denied under-appreciated public services such as public transportation, schools, parks, and recreation centres, while also increasing the cost of water and electricity.