Vancouver, nation see pronounced increase in syphilis

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July 22, 2016

Syphilis is on the rise in Canada — so much so that the demand for medication is too high for local suppliers to keep up.

Pfizer is Canada’s only manufacturer of Bicillin, the best antibiotic to treat syphilis, and is currently so depleted, they don’t anticipate being able to rebound until this month. The shortage has gone on for months, leading Health Canada to reach out to countries such as Australia for supplemental medication.

Vancouver has not been immune to this outbreak. A recent syphilis outbreak amongst gay and bisexual men has left doctors advising young men to get tested. According to Vancouver Coastal Health, 97 percent of syphilis cases they see are present in men, and over 90 percent are men who have sex with other men. The current rate of the sexually transmitted infection (STI) is the highest it’s been in 30 years, with nearly 500 cases reported in 2015.

This is in line with the rest of Canada, where the average number of cases jumped from less than one in 100,000 to over six in 2013, which gives a jump of nearly 700 percent over the 15-year span.

Syphilis is a common bacterial infection transmitted through vaginal, anal, or oral intercourse with someone who has the infection. It can also be transmitted through the sharing of needles, or through childbirth. Although it sometimes exhibits no symptoms whatsoever, having syphilis can increase the risk of contracting HIV. As well, syphilis can have serious long-term effects, such as blindness, bone pain, neurological issues, and sometimes death.

Syphilis can remain dormant in the body for several years without showing symptoms. However, during the dormant stage, it is still possible to transmit the infection, which is why getting tested is so crucial.

Once tested, early-stage syphilis can be cured through the use of penicillin or other antibiotics.

In February, Vancouver Coastal Health collaborated with other sex-positive health organizations such as the BC Centre for Disease Control YouthCO and Health Initiative for Men, to create an LGTBQ-friendly marketing campaign. The ads went up on public transit, in newspapers, and on dating websites in February, when the VCH announced a formal outbreak response.

BC and Canada aren’t the only areas seeing a spike in the infection. Syphilis and gonorrhea are both spiking in the UK due to a lack of funding for STI testing resources. This crisis is also disproportionately affecting men who have sex with other men, as well as lower-income individuals who don’t always have access to the health resources they need.

According to Vancouver Coastal Health, men who have sex with men should get tested for syphilis every three to six months, and talk to their doctor if any unusual skin irritations occur around their genitals.

A breakdown of sexual health resources at SFU

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July 22, 2016

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University is a time when many students leave home for the first time and are free to explore and experience new things. Accordingly, SFU Health and Counselling Services (HCS) offers free services for all students, in order to make sure that they take care of their mental and sexual health.

Students have an “opportunity to take control of their own health,” Martin Mroz, director of SFU HCS, told The Peak. Without a family doctor present, students can freely inquire about birth control, sexual activity, and mental health without having to worry that their parents might find out.

Being proactive about sexual health is important, because “a lot of things change in university,” said Mroz. Even if not sexually active, students have relationships and are exposed to parties, drugs, and alcohol for the first time. SFU HCS offers education on these subjects.

For students who are already sexually active, it’s important to have regular check-ups. Reports show that STIs have increased in the past decade across Canada and North America.

“There’s still a lot of taboo” when talking about sexually transmitted infections, birth control, and mental health, explained Mroz. SFU HCS offers stigma-free information and counsellors who are clinically certified.

“I think we as a society have become more open about things like nudity, but when you start talking about birth control or STIs, it’s still more awkward with more shame involved,” said Mroz.
There’s a lot of misinformation about healthy relationships and lifestyles in the media, said Tammy Blackwell, manager of clinical health services at SFU. HCS offers better education for SFU students.

Where is Health and Counselling Services located?

Burnaby: MBC 0101, at the bottom of the Maggie Benston Centre

Vancouver: Room 300, across from the SFU bookstore on the bottom floor

Surrey: Room 2534 (counselling only)

How do I book an appointment?

Appointments must be scheduled — no drop-ins. Give HCS a call or go in person to book an appointment. I called, and got an appointment the next day.

How much does an appointment cost?

HCS appointments are covered by MSP and out of province healthcare. They are free to book, but cancellations will cost you.

What can HCS help me with?

There is a wide range of sexual health services and supplies, including: birth control resources and information, pregnancy tests and information on what to do if there’s a bun in the oven, STI testing and education, UTI testing, and “Well-Woman Exams” which can include Pap smears, pelvic exams, blood pressure checks, and breast exams.

Where can I get contraceptives?

SFU Health and Counselling Services has free condoms, and offers NuvaRings and oral contraceptives (the Pill) that must be prescribed by a doctor. The SFSS offers free contraceptives through the Women’s Centre. This includes condoms, lube, flavoured condoms, female condoms, and dental dams.

Does HCS offer vaccinations?

They offer many different vaccinations against hepatitis, HPV, and a range of other illnesses both sexually and non-sexually transmitted.

SFU sociologist studies polyamory among queer women

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July 22, 2016

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Can love only happen between two people? Not necessarily, and there are many individuals who live in polyamorous relationships to prove that. The first question those of us who don’t practice polyamory usually ask is: how do you deal with jealousy?

While completing her PhD in the department of sociology at SFU, Dr. Jillian Deri wanted to explore this question and understand more about how polyamorous couples navigate jealousy. Her research on the subject led to the creation of the book Love’s Refraction: Jealousy and Compersion in Queer Women’s Polyamorous Relationships, which was written with the intention of appealing to anyone who is interested in polyamory, emotions, and love.

Deri explained to The Peak that those who practice polyamory “want love and emotional connections, and sexual connections with multiple people where everyone knows about it.” This is distinct from consensual non-monogamy, where there is usually one main partner with sexual explorations outside of the relationship, and from cheating where sexual explorations outside of the relationship are unknown and not consensual.

“Hookup culture, to me that’s a form of non-monogamy, and should be valued as a way of doing relationships too.” – Dr. Jillian Deri, PhD, department of sociology

Whereas jealousy is certainly an aspect of polyamorous relationships — and to an extent, arguably all relationships — polyamorous relationships also aim to achieve compersion. Deri describes compersion as the opposite of jealousy: it refers to the positive feelings one has about their partner’s experiences in other relationships. “When a friend does really well you feel happy for them, and [compersion is about] translating that joy into a romantic context,” Deri explained.

For the book, Deri chose to focus on queer, lesbian, and bisexual women because they tend to be understudied. She also wanted to investigate whether there was a unique culture among polyamorous queer women that differs from heterosexual polyamorous relationships. She accomplished this by interviewing queer women in polyamorous relationships to learn what the community was doing to achieve compersion.

Deri found that “there is a culture to it, and there is potentially different dynamics between queer culture and heterodynamics.” This is partly shown in the different challenges faced by women in these relationships. In queer communities, there tends to be more overlap between partners since the dating pool is smaller than it is for heterosexuals. Therefore, there is an increased likelihood of, for example, knowing your ex’s new lover.

This unique experience in the community brings about accountability and care because there is an increased likelihood of coming across one another again.

When asked whether polygamy or monogamy are a result of human nature or socialization, Deri explained that it is likely a combination of both. “Some people feel much more at ease with open relationships, [and] some people feel more at ease with monogamous relationships. Just like how some people might be more inclined to be queer, [some] straight, some bi, I think we might have a bit of an orientation towards monogamy, or open [relationships], or polyamory.”

While it might seem that open relationships have become more common in recent years, Deri notes that it’s difficult to tell what percentage of the population pursues polyamorous relationships. In fact, the very definition of what it means to be in different styles of relationships can be tough to define.

“It’s hard to know where to draw the line,” Deri said. “Hookup culture, to me that’s a form of non-monogamy, and should be valued as a way of doing relationships too.” Among millennials, it is also very common to have multiple partners with the intention of eventually ending up in a monogamous relationship, she noted.

There is a spectrum of ways to be in a polyamorous relationship, and with increased access to information it is easier than ever for individuals to learn how to pursue such a relationship successfully.

A guide to Pokémon Go at SFU Burnaby

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July 21, 2016

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Pokémon Go has taken over the world.

The app, which combines the popular Japanese franchise with features borrowed from augmented reality (AR) and geocaching, has quickly become one of the most popular pastimes in North America. Seriously, it even briefly eclipsed porn in terms of Google searches.

SFU hasn’t been immune to this trend, and students and faculty alike will have noticed trainers crowding around popular PokéStops on campus to catch their favourite monsters and retrieve eggs and other items — if they’re not too busy playing the game themselves.

Many of us at The Peak are also aspiring Pokémon Masters, and we’ve scoured Burnaby Mountain and sacrificed our monthly data bills in a quest to find the most popular PokéStops, the most competitive gyms, and the best spots to find a high CP Squirtle that won’t goddamn run away from you again.

Happy hunting!

**SFU Pokémon Go Map**

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PokéStops

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There are a whopping 40 different PokéStops on the main part of Burnaby campus, ranging from Residence all the way to UniverCity and down to Discovery Research Park. If you’re looking to stock up on Pokéballs or just gain a little extra XP, here are some spots for you to check out. They appear on the map in blue.

Burnaby Mountain Trail Map
Hannah and Benjamin Endicott Memorial (Townhouse Complex)
Madge Hogarth House
Labatt Sports Court (2 PokéStops)
Lorne Davies Complex
Beedie School of Business
Ronale Sanjay Naidu Memorial Bench
Sam Lam’s Judgement (Student Central)
Bennett Library
Movers and Makers (SFU Archives)
SFU Sculpture (Halpern Centre)
Guardian II (Victory Square)
SFU Art Gallery
Louis Pasteur Infographic Display (C Building)
Commemoration Plaque South Science Building SFU
Environment Canada Weather Station
Robert C. Brown Hall
Angels of Choir (South Sciences Building)
Glen Rose Trackway (B Building)
Floating Stone Bridge (AQ)
Khalil Gibran Monument (Education Building)
Shrum Seating Circle
Isaac Bashevis Singer (Shrum Science Centre)
Renaissance Woman (AQ)
TASC 2 Meetup Shelter
Alcan Aquatic Research Centre
SFU Museum of Archaeology and Ethnology
Kenneth Thompson Strand Memorial Plaque (Strand Hall)
Ironclad Instruments (Saywell Hall)
TASC 1 Mallet
Djavad Mowafaghian Courtyard
École Polytechnique Memorial
Campus Map Placard
University Celebration Plaque
Highlands Fountain
Running Mural
Bear Statue (Cornerstone)
The Bird at Simon Fraser University (University Highlands Elementary School)
SFU Water Tower

Gyms

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There are five gyms on Burnaby campus, all at varying levels of difficulty and accessibility. If you’re feeling ready to challenge one, here’s what you need to know. They appear on the map in yellow.

Xlaim: Level 3 Gym
- You can find this gym just outside the West Mall Centre, next to that abstract red sculpture that leads to the parking lots. As of publication time, it’s the only gym on campus not claimed by Team Valor.
Terry Fox Statue: Level 3 Gym
- This gym is located in the middle of the AQ next to the Terry Fox Statue, and is one of the most often challenged on campus due to its central location.
SFU Greenhouses: Level 4 Gym
- If you’ve got a green thumb or a Pokémon that’s super effective against ghost types, consider challenging this gym, currently the only one led by a female trainer.
Richard Bolton Park: Level 2 Gym
- This gym may be one of the toughest ones to access, but it’s also one of the easiest to beat, given that it tends to be protected by relatively low-level Pokémon.
Discovery 2: Level 4 Gym
- Fraser International College might not have many PokéStops, but it does boast a competitive gym. If you find yourself in the area or are on a mission to conquer the mountain, this gym is a must.

Rare Pokémon

On top of all of the PokéStops and gyms to be found on Burnaby Mountain, there are also plenty of rare Pokémon to be caught. Here are a few harder-to-find monsters that have been found by players on campus. They appear on the map in red.

Squirtle has been spotted near the Terry Fox Statue and the SFU Observatory.

Charizard has reportedly been found by trainers searching the Convocation Mall, near PokéStops at the Bennett Library and Student Central.

Eevee is relatively common on the mountain, with sightings in the West Mall Centre, the Science buildings, and near UniverCity.

Rhyhorn can occasionally be found in the AQ, around that triangle sculpture.

Growlithe is known to frequent the Rotunda area, especially near the Starbucks.

Golbat has made an appearance or two at the Tim Hortons in the West Mall Centre.

Shellder shows up occasionally on the way up the mountain, so keep your eyes peeled while riding the bus home!

Tauros has been seen hanging out at UniverCity near the group of three PokéStops.

Slowpoke can be found at Labatt Court in the West Mall Centre.

Though we made an effort to be as thorough as possible, we probably missed some things. If you notice a PokéStop we didn’t catch or a rare Pokémon we didn’t mention, let us know on Facebook or at www.the-peak.ca!

The five sexiest albums of the decade so far

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July 18, 2016

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Finding the right music for a night in the sack can be a challenge. You don’t want something distracting, but you also don’t want elevator music or something cheesy like Enya. Luckily for you, the 2010s have already given us more than our fair share of sexy records perfect for smooching your sweetie. Here are five of my personal favourites.

Beyoncé – Beyoncé (2013)

Were you really expecting anything else? While Lemonade is proof that hell hath no fury, Bey’s self-titled is the calm before the storm: a sexy, confident, and courageous platform on which Beyoncé owns her sexuality, her marriage, and her feminist worldview. There are sex jams (“Rocket”), self-love anthems (“Flawless”), and a bouncy ode to cunnilingus that’s a lot less subtle than it thinks (“Blow”). To top it off, Bey filmed a suite of music videos to match each song, all of which bring their own flavour of sexiness to the table.

D’Angelo – Black Messiah (2014)

While not as overtly sexual as his LP Voodoo, D’Angelo’s latest retains his charismatic vocal delivery and effortless knack for all things groovy. Equal parts Prince and George Clinton, the album has an undeniably progressive undertone that matches perfectly with its more primal instincts, especially on tracks like “Betray My Heart” and “Ain’t That Easy.” Black Messiah is sex music for activists and world changers, proving that the personal is indeed political — and D’Angelo is more than capable of handling both.

FKA twigs – LP1 (2014)

Tahliah Barnett is the ultimate girl next door — you know, if your next door neighbours are art school dropouts who have a lot of loud tantric sex at weird hours of the day. LP1 strikes that perfect balance of sexy and vulnerable that has made Barnett’s work as FKA twigs so intriguing and so painfully, achingly human. Lyrics like “Pull out the insides / And give me two weeks / You won’t recognize her” might be a little bit heavier than your usual late-night bedroom jams, but no less well-suited for gettin’ it on.

Miguel – Wildheart (2015)

Miguel is Marvin Gaye reborn. After his commendable breakthrough record Kaleidoscope Dream, the 30-year-old Los Angeles native expanded his horizons with last year’s Wildheart, a churning mix of R&B, soul, psychedelic rock, and new wave. But like any great sex record, Wildheart is about a lot more than just doing the deed; it’s also about love, life, death, and what it means to live in the world today. If that sounds broad, it’s because it is. That Miguel handles these themes with aplomb (and more than a little bit of carnal charisma) only makes the record even sexier.

Washed Out – Within and Without (2011)

Ernest Greene, also known by his stage moniker Washed Out, is probably best known as the guy who does the Portlandia theme song. But as he’s proven on his studio LPs, Greene also has a talent for sensual, dreamlike synth-pop that seems to evoke stale cigarettes and late-afternoon slow dances in bedrooms. If sexy for you means comfy sweatpants and mugs of licorice tea, look no further than Within and Without.

Why are there so few good sex toys for men?

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July 18, 2016

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[dropcap]B[/dropcap]efore this summer, I had never lived on my own for more than a week. I moved out of my parents’ place with my partner, with whom I still live (happily). Without getting into details, let’s just say that my sex life has been pretty consistent for the past few years, and I’ve never really felt the need to add anything extra to my solo sessions. That is, until my partner decided to pursue a field school in Germany for the semester.

Faced with the prospect of two months alone with my hand, a box of tissues, and a spotty Internet connection, I did what many would do in my position. I decided to buy myself a sex toy.

I like to do a little research before I make a big purchase, so I spent a few days searching through Amazon reviews, looking up independent sex shops, and browsing Internet forums and review sites. While I did end up finding something that works for me, most of the toys I found ended up confirming a long-held suspicion: sex toys for folks with penises are the worst.

Seriously. Walk into any sex store and you’re likely to see one of two scenes: either all the male sex toys will feature sleazy, sexist portraits of big-breasted women with pouty lips and thick blonde hair, or the selection of male toys will be limited to flavoured condoms and maybe a cock ring or two.

On the other hand, most other sex toys — whether they be female-centric, like dildos and vibrators, or relatively gender-neutral toys like butt plugs or handcuffs — are comparably classy and, well, normal. Though there’s definitely a weird streak of dildo brands featuring pictures of naked ladies on them, people with vaginas looking to have a good time tend to have a much wider variety of options at their disposal, most of which are not overly offensive or cringe-inducing.

Male sex toys remain a taboo, despite being a totally normal and natural tool for expressing one’s sexuality.

It should come as no surprise that a lot of this is a result of a patriarchal system which compels men (and women) to think of women as objects. This is the main reason there are so many weird, uncomfortable toys molded after female porn stars’ various orifices, or given gross names like “MILF in a Box.”

But there’s another factor at play here, too: straight men tend to be more afraid of experimenting with their sexuality. This is part of what people are talking about when they joke that masculinity is fragile: many guys are so afraid of falling outside culturally acceptable expressions of maleness that they’d probably be unwilling to purchase a more neutral, less misogynistic male sex toy.

In fact, many are not even willing to experiment at all. A 2014 survey by The Guardian found that only 39 percent of British men had ever used sex toys, as opposed to 52 percent of women. Male sex toys remain a taboo, despite being a totally normal and natural tool for expressing one’s sexuality.

Some have even claimed that men simply don’t need sex toys. The argument goes that, since men masturbate so often, they’re good enough at it already and don’t need any help. I don’t buy that. Sure, sex toys aren’t for everyone, but that shouldn’t stop men from experimenting with their sexuality solo just because they can get themselves off without. That’s like saying you might as well never have sex ever again, because you can just jerk off.

For the record, there are some good sex toys for guys on the market. I’m a particularly big fan of the sleeves made by Tenga, a Japanese company whose toys are so pretty you almost don’t want to use them. (Almost.) But until men become more comfortable with their sexuality and stop ordering so many gross, sexist vagina moulds, we’ll be stuck with the underwhelming selection we currently have. What a turn-off.

Four hot and heavy TV shows you should watch

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July 18, 2016

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Orange is the new black sex — The ladies of *Orange is the New Black* and their interactions with sex make this one of the best shows right now.

Sex on TV is not new, and it’s more common now than ever. Still, finding shows that have a worthwhile plot and good sex can be tricky. Below are four fantastic TV shows, ranging in popularity level from ‘everyone has seen this’ to ‘this was a show?’

While I have seen and recommend all these shows, I want to preface this article with a content warning: most, if not all, of these series showcase something that may be triggering for certain individuals; watch with caution, and always do your research to make yourself aware of particularly upsetting episodes.

Orange is the New Black

Unless you’ve been hiding from all media for the past three years, you’ve probably heard something about OITNB. For those who haven’t already binge-watched all four seasons, OITNB is based off the memoirs of Piper Kerman, a currently law-abiding woman who was charged and sentenced to a women’s prison for a crime she committed after college. The series itself follows the lives of main character Piper Chapman and several other characters before, during, and in some cases, after incarceration. The ladies of Litchfield Penitentiary explore many issues involving sex — from “edging” to phone sex, they’ve covered it all. While this past season was, in my humble opinion, way more upsetting than it needed to be, this series remains a must-see.

Jessica Jones

A woman after my own heart, Jessica Jones is a total badass. She’s strong, independent, and buys liquor in bulk — insert heart-eyes emoticon here. A sexual assault survivor, Jones is attempting to start over as a private investigator when a ghost from her past begins to torture others as he once tortured her. One of the reasons to love this show is because you get to watch Jones become herself again by exerting control over her life, especially when it comes to sex. All the sex scenes in the series so far have been consensual, but this show could still be potentially triggering for several reasons. Be sure to check the Internet for specific trigger warnings.

Outlander

I am 100 percent biased, because I love this show. The TV adaptation of the book series follows WWII combat nurse Claire Randall as she travels 200 years into the past and meets the rugged and insanely handsome highlander Jamie Fraser. Claire has to battle with the knowledge of what is to become of the Jacobites in just two short years, while knowing she cannot tell anyone what history has in store for fear of persecution. Claire and Jamie’s whirlwind romance features a lot of sex scenes — like, a lot — but also has a great storyline, plenty of humour, and genuine heart.

Rescue Me

I doubt too many people know about this show — the finale aired five years ago — but it was so good. The series was created by Denis Leary, who also stars as its main character, Tommy Gavin: a New York City firefighter coming to terms with the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks. Suffering from PTSD and survivor’s guilt, Gavin turns to alcohol to cope with ghostly visions of his dead cousin, Jimmy. As the series progresses, it focuses more on the dysfunctional home lives of several firefighters in Gavin’s company. This show features many different types of sex, including one-night stands, tender love-making, and hate sex. The first time I watched this show was with my mom, and I would not recommend watching this — or any of the above, for that matter — with a parent.

Give the penis its time in the limelight

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July 18, 2016

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dicks on the big screen — We are in desperate need of peen on screen.

Flaccid penises are awkward. There really isn’t any other way around it. They just kind of hang there, flopping about in the breeze. But that really isn’t a good enough reason to not feature more full-frontal male nudity in film and TV.

Full-frontal female nudity abounds in film and television. Movies like American Pie, Not Another Teen Movie, and others from that same genre make plenty of dick jokes, but never actually bother to show one. They do feature more than their fair share of female nudity, though. While I will admit that there have been plenty of shirtless guys and more than a few bums in these types of films, all of them suffer from a distinct lack of peen.

The first time I saw full-frontal male nudity on screen was when I was 12 (sorry, Mom). It was at a sleepover and we were watching The Good Girl. While the details are blurry, I remember seeing a naked Jake Gyllenhaal running across the screen with it all hanging out. It lasted for maybe two seconds, but that moment was forever burned into my memory. In my young brain I was expecting that this was going to be some sort of normal occurrence in movies for adults. I was very wrong.

When I watched Old School the next year, my expectation was rattled. There was a streaking scene that featured prominently in the film, but even with its R-rating, all you ended up seeing were some male bums. While this wasn’t disappointing per se, I was confused. This confusion has persisted until the present day.

While there has been somewhat of a shift recently to show more frontal male nudity, the disparity still exists. So much so that if a film or TV show has a rating above PG-13, I just naturally assume that at some point I will be seeing naked women. I don’t have that same expectation for male nudity.

That is where the issue lies: the lack of equality in nudity. I am not saying to throw in an uncontextualized crotch shot to tick some sort of equality box, but it would be nice to see more male nudity on screen. It is something that happens in the real world. Men don’t always wear pants, or in the case of Chris Evans in Not Another Teen Movie, whipped cream.

Whether this is related to the aforementioned awkwardness of wangs, to the fact that there is a sexual bias in the industry, a lack of male comfort, or some combination of these factors it is hard to say. What is clear though is that the lack of on-screen full-frontal male nudity isn’t good for anyone. It confirms that the female body, unlike the male one, is considered a sexualized object, and even women in film and TV with a sense of agency and personality can be reduced to simply boobs and a vag. It also teaches young males that this is how they should view women, too.

This trend can also be seen as shaming the male body. There’s been a big push recently to assure people that vaginas and breasts are all beautiful and we should accept their differences, but there doesn’t seem to be a similar discussion surrounding the penis. If anything, it just confirms that they are floppy and awkward, and shouldn’t be seen or talked about. But you know what else is awkward and kind of flops around? Boobs. Yet we see them and talk about them all the time.

So, next time you see a penis on screen, celebrate it. It may feel strange or seem awkward, but embrace it. It will be better for everyone — and maybe soon, we’ll stop seeing flaccid penises as awkward and instead see them as beautiful.

Be sexy for yourself before anyone else

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July 18, 2016

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[dropcap]B[/dropcap]eing sexy for others is challenging. There are so many factors to consider, such as what others do and don’t find attractive, and what you’re comfortable with doing in the name of ‘sexiness.’ For lack of a better phrase, it’s a total fucking shitshow.

Walking into any La Senza, Victoria’s Secret, or Swimco can be overwhelming if you are just looking for a generic bra to get you through the day, or a bathing suit so that you can actually go to the beach for once. You are bombarded, from the moment you walk in, by models with perfect bodies, and bras that will make you go up two cup sizes. Quite frankly, the whole process causes me to hyperventilate and become clammy — my mom can confirm this unfortunate reaction.

Sometimes, though, I decide to live a little and seek out something that isn’t as practical — something sexy. Once I do this, all the usual shopping anxiety that I have being a bigger and bustier girl disappears. I am in the clothing department to live my best life, societal expectations be damned. Shopping then becomes less about being sexy for someone else and more about being sexy for myself.

It’s so liberating, it makes me want to run around in lingerie and make the world my runway. I know I can’t do this, given that I would rather not be arrested, but I also don’t want the feeling to disappear, either.

Then I realize that I actually can make the world my runway: I just need to wear clothes overtop. My sexy feelings don’t melt away; if anything, they become stronger.

Feeling sexy isn’t just about bras and bathing suits.

The thought of being able to wear more than just your standard bra and panties out in public when nobody else knows about it feels to me like a shot of confidence and sexual empowerment. I feel sexy and I don’t care who looks at me — well, I do, but it seems like less of a big deal to have the creepy guy on the train smile at you when the cute guy behind him is clearly checking you out.

Feeling sexy isn’t just about bras and bathing suits, though. Some days I’ll wear blue lipstick, or run around in a hoodie and sweatpants with unwashed hair, and I will feel the exact same as if I were wearing lace. There is something strangely comforting about being able to feel sexy while doing something that is viewed as decidedly unsexy.

Feeling sexy changes how I react and present myself to others — whether or not I want to sleep with them. I carry myself differently, treat people better, and I’m not afraid to seek out what I know I deserve.
This is why I gave up on being sexy for others and decided to be sexy for myself first. It makes me a better person, it makes me more confident, and most of all it makes me feel more empowered as a woman.

A gentlemen’s guide on what to do when caught masturbating

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July 18, 2016

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Let’s face it: there’s nothing more natural than masturbation. Jerking it, beating the meat, choking the chicken — fellas, the reason we have so many euphemisms for masturbation is because it’s the closest thing to a sexual art form for us. Unfortunately, one risk of masturbating is being caught in the act, so here’s a step-by-step guide for you guys out there caught with your pants down.

Diffuse the Dynamite

Chances are when caught in the act, you’re damn near close to ejaculation. The last thing you want to be remembered for is being that asshole who came on your parents, friends, roommates, etc. Your dong is a loaded stick of spermy TNT, so turn around quickly and let it fly, before your fertile frag grenade explodes on an innocent bystander. It’s basic love gun safety, gentlemen.

Hit The Exit Window

Now, this part’s trickier. Namely because the person walking in has probably already heard digitized exclamations of “you like this, you dirty whore” or “fuck me harder, you big stud” coming from your laptop. However, the last thing you want the world to know is that you are a aficionado of“Horny MILF Gets Gang-Banged By Eight Young Studs” trilogy. Hit that red “X” button fast, and explain that the noises are an experimental feminist music piece or something.

Whip Out The Kleenex

Kleenex is your best friend in this scenario, whether for wiping away your man goo or as a means of poorly covering up exposed genitalia. Use as much Kleenex as humanly possible to explain away your masturbation as a case of cleaning. This solution is foolproof, unless your penis is already so hard that the Kleenex covering it looks like a mummified tent-pole.

Get Rid Of That Erection

It’s time to put those mental powers of yours to the test. You got a massive erection and you need to get rid of it fast. Just hitting your ding-a-ling while yelling “go-away damn it” simply isn’t enough (plus, it’s pretty painful). Think of the biggest boner-killer as fast as you can, whether that be a crazy castrator chasing you with a knife or Khloe Kardashian’s face. Bring down that erect Eiffel Tower down by any means necessary!

Blame Society

Alright, let’s be honest with ourselves: All the shit you did before this step won’t hide that you were actually masturbating. So it’s time to pull out your ace in the hole and blame everything aside from yourself from your actions. After all, it’s not your fault you have account to Brazzers — those subscription offers were just too good turn down! If all else fails, just fess up and admit you’re a lonely pathetic loser with no relationship prospects. . . and then do the same thing tomorrow.