Home Blog Page 846

Four things every great hentai needs

0

By: Anonymous, SFU Student

1. A generic protagonist 

13664456_10153819914443175_1294503804_n

Maybe he’ll have coloured hair if he’s important, but then people won’t “relate” to him. You’ll want to make your protagonist big-cocked, fully-loaded and attainably average on the outside.

2. A vapid main girl with an eccentric best friend

girls

It doesn’t really matter who you fall for, you’ll fuck them both anyway.

3. Break at least one taboo in the span of an episode

girl 1

Most likely you’ll be fucking your sister. Or if you’re lucky your mom. If you’re not embarrassed to show your friends it’s too clean

4. End it with a bang

gbang

A GANGBANG, that is. With everyone in your class — and the teacher too.

Butt Plugs that aren’t but should be on the market

0

By: Justin Stevens

The Spring

spring

“Jumping your partner’s bones has never been this fun.”

 

The Feather Duster

duster

“Take that french maid fantasy to the next level.”

 

Mario Raccoon Tail

tail

“Hit up the power up in your relationship and soar to new heights. NOTE: Matching ears and hat not included.

 

Scorpion Tail

scorpion

“Make your sex life a little more intere-STING.”

 

Jackhammer

jackham

“Break new ground and pound that asphalt.”

 

Some intrauterine education

0

[dropcap]T[/dropcap]he last time I paid for — or even thought about — birth control was about two years ago.

That’s not a result of self-imposed abstinence or some ill-informed ‘rhythm method’ practice. Almost two years ago, I found the birth control method for me in an intrauterine device (IUD — not to be confused with DUI or UTI).

An IUD, for those who don’t know, is a T-shaped device that sort of looks like a double-fishhook. The two main types are copper, which naturally prevents pregnancy, or plastic with a gradual release of the hormone levonorgestrel. Mirena, the brand behind my IUD, notes that there isn’t a single explanation behind why this hormone prevents pregnancy, but a collection of reasons. Whether it’s “thinning the lining of your uterus” or something else, this birth control method is over 99 percent effective. The device is inserted into your uterus by a medical professional, and it stays there for years, depending on the type.

Like a lot of other women, my first contact with birth control was combining the pill and condoms, and praying that nothing would go awry. The pill was great for a while — until I got tired of renewing my prescription every few months, encountering issues with medical coverage, and shelling out too much money even with coverage. I’m a big believer that birth control should be readily accessible, no matter the form. I had also started hating having to remember to take the pill at the same time every day, as well as the spotting and unpredictable periods.

This is why choosing to get an IUD was the best decision for me. The first point in its favour: I don’t have to worry about it for another three years. Three years! I’ll be 25 years old then! Justin Trudeau will be midway through campaigning for the next federal election! There will be hover cars and time travel and probably a new suite of Spider-Man movies!

I went to the doctor to discuss my IUD options, got the prescription, and went to the doctor once more for the procedure.

When I was on the pill, I liked feeling proactive, that I was in control of my own birth control every day. Now I like not having to think about it at all. I went to the doctor to discuss my IUD options, got the prescription, and went to the doctor once more for the procedure.

The second point in the IUD’s favour is that it didn’t cost me a cent. If memory serves, I was paying about $20 for three boxes of the pill every few months. I haven’t had to pay for birth control since I switched methods.

This is because of beautiful, wondrous medical coverage. Without coverage, the IUD can become expensive: according to The Globe and Mail, prices can range from $80–160 for a copper device, and $325–360 for a hormonal one. Consider those costs, though: if I had continued to pay roughly $20 every three months for the pill over a period of five years, it would amount to roughly $400. In those terms, the IUD is far less expensive and far more convenient.

I have no doubts that the IUD was the right birth control method for me at this point in my life. That doesn’t mean it’s right for everyone, and there are risks. The device can “go through the wall of the uterus and cause other problems,” according to Mirena; if you are one of the eight in 1,000 women who becomes pregnant while on the device, there is a risk of ectopic pregnancy, where the pregnancy develops in the fallopian tubes rather than the uterus.

IUDs also don’t protect against STIs, and not all women are comfortable changing their bodies through hormones and implantations.

It is so important, if you are sexually active, to research what methods are right for you. You may prefer the pill or an IUD, or choose something else entirely, such as the patch or condoms. It’s your body, so you have to be comfortable with what you’re using on it.

Is gay porn giving me a white guy fetish?

0

[dropcap]I[/dropcap]think I’ve been watching too much gay porn.

It’s no shock that the media we consume, be it visual or auditory, affects our opinions of people and situations in the world. We know that music can induce certain emotional responses, or that we can become desensitized to disturbing content the more that we watch it. Some suggest that advertising works on a subconscious level. Point being, the media we are exposed to can affect our perceptions on life.

I saw this guy the other day. He was a gorgeous South Asian man. Cocoa dark skin and curly black hair — and oh, the way I wanted him to look at me. Let’s just say the entirety of the song “Finally” by CeCe Peniston went through my head, and I had one of those ‘our lives together’ moments: loft apartment downtown overlooking English Bay, maybe a small dog or a cat, dinner parties, game nights with friends, travelling the world, and growing old together. This all came to a shattering end when he embraced a girl in a more-than-friends way. Still, it was nice while it lasted.

A short time later, a white guy who was equally gorgeous walked by. This time, instead of imagining scenes of domestic bliss, my fantasies with him were lust-filled and X-rated. Both guys were equally sexy — and let’s be clear, if the first guy were to approach and embrace me, I would have no problems with any triple-X-rated acts. But lust simply wasn’t my initial thought with the first man like it was with the second.

Even if you remove the “twink,” “jock,” or “boy next door” labels, there is a proliferation of whiteness in porn.

This scenario caught me off guard, and I began to do a little introspection. I realized that for the last little while I had been looking at white men differently than men of colour. I was completely sexually objectifying the white guys I found attractive, while the physical draw to the non-white guys had been only a part of my thoughts.

I’m not one of those guys who ‘has a type’ based on skin colour. I’ve dated and slept with guys from many different backgrounds, yet here I was realizing that skin colour was playing a direct role in my initial opinion of guys. Why? What was affecting my perception? The only thing I could think of was the porn I watch: it’s generally all white.

I find there is a saturation of white guys in gay porn. Even if you remove the “twink,” “jock,” or “boy next door” labels that we give different builds and genres, there is a proliferation of whiteness. A friend of mine laughed when I brought this up and suggested, “Maybe you’re just watching the wrong porn?” That could be; there is a lot out there, even without the amateur or home videos that flood the net. Though, even if I try to find a more varied cast — and I did look — when I do see a guy of colour, the “thug,” “Asian,” or “interracial” tag typically takes precedence.

So, I’ve decided to stop watching porn for a while to see what happens. I’m guessing porn isn’t a bad thing to walk away from anyway, and I am past the point of being in a small town with no outlet except the Internet. Also, the porn we watch is not the sex we have, no matter how gorgeous you are. If all goes well in a few months, without the programming, I’ll be in the fantasy loft with all the guys — even the white ones.

Masturbation is the safest form of sex, not abstinence

0

[dropcap]E[/dropcap]ighth grade me watched in amusement as the girl on the TV screen pushed her boyfriend away. “Abstinence is the safest form of sex,” the narrator’s voice boomed through the speakers, and the message began to settle in the sex ed class. After high school, it stayed with me for a long time. For the next five years, “abstinence” was my automatic answer when someone asked about the safest form of sex. I realized only recently that masturbation might actually be the safest method of sex, and that abstinence is not a form of sex at all.  

I realized this a few months ago, when I read someone’s rant on the Internet about abstinence. The author was complaining about the amount of focus abstinence gets in sex education, even though it’s not even a type of sex. Being abstinent means that a person won’t engage in sexual activity — with anyone, including themselves. Doesn’t that disqualify abstinence as a sexual act?

Don’t get me wrong, I agree that abstinence is a great way to avoid both getting pregnant or catching an STI. A person won’t catch anything if they don’t have sex, just like they won’t get hit by a car if they don’t walk down the street.

But is there a way to relieve oneself of sexual thirst without being contaminated?

Uh, yeah: masturbation. I am shocked at how little we talk about masturbation as a safe sexual practice, because the simple matter of fact is that no one can catch a disease simply by masturbating, nor can they get pregnant. However, masturbation is still a type of sex, and it’s probably the only type of sex that is 100 percent STI-free.

No one can catch a disease simply by masturbating, nor can they get pregnant.

Why, then, aren’t we talking more about masturbation in sex education classes?

Maybe it’s because many public school sex education programs are concentrated more on protection than pleasure. If there needs to be a conversation about abstinence, there doesn’t need to be a lot of talk about pleasure. Just don’t have sex. Conversation over.

If students follow these instructions, they’re safe. They won’t catch an STI, and they won’t be popping out babies. If they don’t want to follow the instructions, then they’re already educated enough on forms of sexual protection, so at least they’ll be safe. And masturbation? It’s an untapped resource just left on the sidelines.

As an enthusiastic supporter of sexual pleasure, I’m bothered by this. Learning about abstinence is helpful — it could be the right thing for some people, and it’s great that they will have this information. However, parading abstinence around as the only form of safe sex completely overlooks the fact that masturbation allows people to engage in safe sex.

I would love to see masturbation become more of a conversation topic in public school, and eventually be taught alongside abstinence as an option for those who are trying to avoid STIs and children. In the meantime, all we can do is argue about the state of our sex ed, and masturbate.

Quiz: How well do you know vaginas?

0

Think you know vaginas pretty well? Or maybe you don’t know that much, but are interested in learning a few things? Take our quiz and test your knowledge. Answers are at the bottom of the page — no cheating, though!

Q1: Can vaginas get erections?

  1. True
  2. False

Q2: How many sensory nerves does a clitoris have?

  1. 6,000
  2. 8,000
  3. 2,500
  4. 12,00

Q3: How many different kinds of orgasms can someone with a vagina have?

  1. Four
  2. It’s impossible to tell
  3. One
  4. Women don’t orgasm

Q4: Vaginal discharge includes a substance called squalene. Where else is this substance found?

  1. Seaweed
  2. In root vegetables like potatoes
  3. Shark livers
  4. Nowhere — only individuals with vaginas can make this substance!

Q5: How often should someone clean their vagina with soap and water?

  1. Once a week
  2. Every day
  3. As much as they feel it is needed
  4. Not really needed: vaginas are self-cleaning, and soap should be avoided

Q6: What is the life expectancy of pubic hair on the vulva?

  1. One month
  2. Three weeks
  3. It keeps growing until it’s trimmed
  4. Three months

Q7: Is vaginal weightlifting a real sport?

  1. Yes it is! You can lift a lot with a vagina
  2. No this isn’t a thing, vaginal muscles can’t lift

Q8: What part of the body does urine come from?

  1. The vaginal opening
  2. The glans
  3. The labia
  4. The urethra

Q9: What are Kegel exercises?

  1. A fitness routine that aids blood circulation in the vaginal area
  2. Stretches for the female crotch
  3. The squeezing of pelvic floor muscles
  4. A sex position

Q10: What does vagina translate (roughly) to in Latin?

  1. Temple
  2. Sword holder
  3. Canal or river
  4. Triangle

 

TALLY YOUR SCORE!
7–10 : Gynaecologist extraordinaire

Wow, you know your stuff!

4–6 : You know the basics

It seems like you’re familiar with vaginas, but you could always stand to learn a little more!

1–3 : You might want to do some research

It’s OK that you aren’t that familiar with vaginas, but we should all strive to understand bodies more! This is the perfect opportunity to expand your knowledge.

Answers: 
Answers:1-A, 2-B, 3-A (clitoral, vaginal, blended, multiple), 4-C, 5-D, 6-B, 7-A (the most a woman has ever lifted with her vagina is 31 pounds!), 8-D, 9-C, 10-B (sadly, even the word vagina has a misogynistic connotation.)

Your sex life according to your major

0

Your major is a personal choice — one which can reflect your personality, quirks, and even your desires.  It only makes logical sense that it would be reflected in your sexual life, and sometimes things can get a little freaky. Maybe one day you’ll have a normal sex life after you’ve abandoned all hopes of using your degree and start working in retail, but for now, The Peak presents your sex life according to your major.

MATHEMATICS

You and your sexual partner contemplate the probability of making each other moan. You begin to calculate the chance of this single random event occurring and realize that the possibility is astronomically low, so you decide to call it quits. You just can’t argue with numbers.

CRIMINOLOGY

You straddle your sexual partner while kissing the nape of their neck and whispering sexy things in their ears like “We know you murdered that woman, David. We found the murder weapon knife covered in your fingerprints and we have multiple witnesses confirming that you were present on the night of the crime. The more cooperative you are, the easier this will be on you.” You then cuff them up, attend their trial to attest their guilt and watch as the judge sentences your sexual partner to a life in prison.  The hand of the law gives a good spankin’.

CHEMISTRY

“And with stimulation here, the release of  the chemical dopamine should trigger an orga—“ Oh golly. You’re glad you wore safety goggles.

PSYCHOLOGY

Whenever you and your partner are getting down, you get busy studying their behaviour and referencing Freudian theory in order to explain their strange sexual behaviours. “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me because you have an Oedipus complex and I resemble your mother?”

ARCHAEOLOGY

As you and your sexual partner bone, you can’t help but think about bones the whole time.  “They found a 37,000 year old skull in Borneo which completely overturns long-held views about the region they were found in!” you ecstatically recall, moments before reaching climax.

KINESIOLOGY

You understand that bend, baby.  Life is sweet, and flexible.

I’m a virgin, and I’m proud

0

[dropcap]I[/dropcap]’m 20 years old, single, and I’ll come out and say it right now: I’m a proud virgin. However, in the past, I was a closeted virgin — not just because I had never had sex, but because I was scared to.

There are many different connotations and feelings associated with sex — things that my friends have always talked about. When they described to me their first times and the many times after, I nodded enthusiastically and pretended I understood them. At 16 years old, one of my good friends at the time was already boasting about how she did it with her boyfriend in the shower, and while my face showed approval, inside my heart was racing at the fact that she had been ‘initiated.’ In the eyes of our society, she was now an adult.

As more of my friends began to lose their virginity, I began to question myself and my ability to make someone like me. Was it my weight, or my glasses? Was I annoying, or too uptight? Was I just not pretty enough? These questions threw me into a depression that caused me to lose myself in this urge to grow up. I flirted relentlessly with guys, trying to come off as carefree and fun, until one day I finally had a boyfriend.

This boyfriend was the first person who expressed a desire to have sex with me. He told me how my body was perfect, and how he wanted to get inside of me and show me that he loved me. For a while, I liked the sound of that. I thought that I had finally found someone who respected me and actually liked me for who I was.

I wasn’t going to compromise my Catholic faith for a guy that I supposedly loved.

However, there were two problems with this magical bridge into what I thought to be adulthood. The first was that, as a strong Catholic, I was taught that sex had to be reserved for marriage, and I wasn’t going to compromise my faith for a guy that I supposedly loved.

But the even bigger problem was that I was scared. I had zero experience, and to top it off, the idea of having sex with this guy made me squeamish. While I thought I loved him, I didn’t know if I actually loved him. Even though he was saying all these things I wanted to hear, I wasn’t ready to give all of myself to him.

Unfortunately, these thoughts were not something that my then-boyfriend wanted to hear, so much so that he tried to force himself onto me multiple times with brute force and violence. He called me prudish, a slut for flirting, and unfaithful. When he broke up with me I was devastated, but in retrospect, this painful lesson was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

There is no magic age at which everyone has sex. You have sex when you are ready, not when your friends are getting knocked up and talking about it. One so-called innocent night could lead you to a whole host of problems like emotional stress, confusion, compromising your own physical health, and a potential baby that you may not be ready for. We live in a society that is so charged with the fear of ‘missing out’ that we forget to step back and think about the consequences.

Being a virgin does not mean that you are lacking something. Saving your virginity is a decision that you have full control over, and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

Geni-tales: Short stories about bodies, sex, and sexuality

0
We all have something to say about our bodies, sex, and sexuality. Sharing stories and details about ourselves can be scary, and at times uncomfortable. But when it comes right down to it, we all need the opportunity to talk about ourselves, and we should be able to do it free of judgement or fear. This is a collection of short stories that reminds us our bodies can at times be weird, be our temple, or be just about whatever else we decide they are.

 

In high school, before I started taking anxiety meds and when I still had a super insatiable sex drive, I was all about doing it everywhere and in every circumstance. This included the super dumb but at-the-time-genius idea of foregoing condoms if I didn’t have any on hand — after all, my girlfriend was on the Pill, so I was fine, right? Well, apart from the threat of STIs that I apparently didn’t take very seriously, I also neglected to realize that a lack of condoms tends to result in a lot more friction. On one particularly steamy occasion, I noticed there was a lot of blood on my dick. After my girlfriend assured me that it was too early for her period, I pulled back my foreskin to find that I’d made a clean tear through my frenulum, the tiny bit of skin that connects the skin of your penis to the head. (Do not Google this. You’ve been warned.) I couldn’t have sex for a month, and even the hint of an erection hurt like hell and significantly slowed down the healing process. I essentially had to avoid any and all things sexy for half the summer. The moral? Use condoms, and plenty of lube. – MJH

Grade 7 was a very scary time for me. Pimples were covering my body, crushes seemed like everything, and my vagina began to periodically bleed. I remember running to my mother with a small stain of blood in my underwear, aware of what this meant: womanhood. She showed me the world of pads and tampons hidden underneath the bathroom sink, and gave me a very basic explanation of how to use the former. Pads suited me fine, until the dreaded summer came, full of hikes, tiny white shorts, and crowded swimming pools. I knew I had to learn how to stuff this bullet-shaped cotton ball up my vagina. Many girls have no difficulty learning to insert tampons, and probably have never thought of the many who struggle, sometimes for years, to learn to insert tampons, if they ever learn at all. I was one of those struggling girls. Honestly, I was quite scared of my vagina — of touching it, or looking at it, and absolutely terrified of putting something in it. I looked up awkward tutorial videos, I constantly reread the explanation on the tampon box, and shakily tried to even just put the tips of my fingers inside myself. I would freak out almost every time, body tense and nervous, which I now realize was one of the key reasons for my struggle. It took me four years to finally learn how to relax enough, and get a basic understanding of my anatomy to be able to finally shove a cotton bullet up my vagina. – PS

There’s a new trend on Instagram: people are taking pictures of their allegedly used underwear, free of vaginal discharge, and posting it with the hashtag #PantyChallenge. Attention, people with vaginas: vaginal discharge is normal! In case you missed this section of sexual education, vaginal discharge is a natural body process. People have a tendency to associate it with a dirty or unhealthy vagina, but the exact opposite is true. Vaginal discharge is how the sex organ keeps itself clean. Changes in the amount, colour, consistency, or smell can mean it’s time to book an appointment with a gynaecologist — or that you’re in a particular stage in your menstrual cycle. The point is, this new challenge is just the latest in a long line of ways to make people with normal, healthy bodies feel shitty about themselves. The misinformation about vaginas, even amongst people who have them, is staggering. It can make people feel like their own genitals are weird or different. They’re probably not — and if they are, who cares? Don’t buy into this shitty, body-shaming hashtag. Just try to accept and love yourself. Most importantly, if you think there’s something wrong downstairs, consult a doctor, not Instagram. – JP

I, like a lot of guys, was young when I got my first erection. I sat in wonder watching Charlie’s Angels, and I could feel the chemical balance of my body stirring. My cheeks were flushing, my breath was bated, and something was beginning to shuffle in my nether regions. A quick inspection would lead to the most startling discovery in my seven years of life: my penis could increase in size and point at the ceiling. After a good 10 seconds of analysis, I came to the grounded conclusion that it could only mean one thing . . . I had discovered my very own superpower. And it was amazing. After rigorous rounds of tests and trainings, however, I had failed to understand the meaning or purpose of my newfound gift. Finding justifications for its irregular moments of occurrence was not easy to understand. On one fateful Saturday morning, the truth behind my superhuman ability was revealed. As I sat with my dad watching Austin Powers get sexily manhandled by a bunch of fembots in pink negligees, I confided that my penis could grow and move around randomly. It was then and there I would discover the truth behind my penis and my so-called ‘superpower’ — but not before enduring my father’s wheezing laughter for 20 straight minutes. – JS

“All bodies are good bodies.” That’s the idea behind the body positivity movement and inclusive boudoir photography. Body positivity isn’t always easy, though. Unfortunately, it’s normal to fluctuate between feeling like the bomb-ass human being you are, to focusing completely on the few characteristics about yourself you’d like to change. Photographs and mirrors sometimes reflect only what you dislike, rather than the entire picture of who you are. The body positive movement seeks to challenge traditional, exclusive conceptions of beauty, to show that the spectrum of bodies is as vast as it is gorgeous. For my partner’s birthday this year, I decided to give him something a lil’ playful and risqué: I hired my photographer pal to take some boudoir photos. I found that what started off as a birthday present for him ended up being a present to myself. My body will not always look like it does now, as a 22-year-old; I don’t even look like I did three years ago. I like the idea of appreciating my body for what it is, at this stage in my life. Recognizing that it will inevitably change as I age, in both small and significant ways, but that those changes don’t really matter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m also a fan of the regular ol’ selfie, but there’s a beauty in relinquishing some control to another person’s camera. I wasn’t in charge; I didn’t see my appearance from frame to frame, and consequently couldn’t edit myself from shot to shot. All I could do is stand there, in different stages of undress, and trust my friend to present me as I am.  – NS

Women are more than our sexualities. I find all too often that women are reduced to descriptors about the gender(s) we find attractive. Mostly, this applies to non-heterosexual women. We are succinctly summed up as ‘the lesbian friend,’ or ‘the friend that’s also into girls,’ or who’s also bisexual, or whatever. There is also the ever-prevalent assumption that two lesbians or bisexuals or pansexuals will automatically become great friends because they share the same sexuality. That’s not true at all. That’s like assuming that all straight women or all straight men should be BFFs. Sexuality is not a defining feature of someone’s personality. There is so much more to a person than who they happen to love. The rarer the sexuality though, the more people try to group us together. Of course, that requires believing that your sexuality is valid (hello, biphobia) and real. Yes, I’m pansexual. No, I don’t find cookware attractive. Bisexuals find two genders appealing (not always from the male/female gender binary). Pansexuals are not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity. If you want us to have labels, fine, but respect the labels we apply to ourselves and understand that’s not all we are. – CM

Growing up as a Catholic and attending a Catholic school meant that I was taught abstinence and that pre-marital sex was out of the question. I love my faith, and nothing can shake the fact that I am a Catholic, but I feel like I missed the boat on a lot of things due to the limited ‘sex education’ that was given to us. And by that, I mean I got no sex education. Puberty was horrible because of it: things were changing, hormones were raging, and everyone seemed too conservative to want to say anything. Adults shifted their weight uneasily, trying to throw the responsibility to someone else. So I went through this entire ‘coming of age’ process blindly. Breasts, periods, intercourse — it was all lost on me, not because of religion, but because of a lack of sex education. In today’s world, people are definitely a lot more open, and sex ed is being introduced much earlier. Young children need to understand their bodies. They need to learn about the body, appreciate it, and respect it. No matter what you believe, sex education is important for the full development of a person. – RW

Grade 10 was a critical, yet horribly embarrassing time to learn about my body. Kids in school were innocently holding hands, locking lips, and boasting about their ‘sex-pertise.’ And while I shrugged and rolled my eyes, I’ll have to give a few of them credit for discovering a bodily function that I probably wouldn’t have thought of for the rest of my life had I not overheard one boy in class make a remark about how his testicles shifted around on their own. Dumbstruck, I sat on the toilet after school that day, bent over and had my first real examination. No, it wasn’t an acid trip. They were moving ever so slightly. It was as if the miniscule wrinkles in the scrotum were giving my balls a tender massage as they expanded and contracted. Either that, or it looked like some sort of alien embryonic life form stirring in its biological sack. I honestly felt a little invaded, unsettled at the idea that a visible part of my body was moving against my will, nevermind that it was tucked away in my underwear. A quick Google search revealed that the wrinkles on a scrotum are part of the cremaster muscle, which stretches and shrinks depending on the temperature. There you have it, folks: it’s all connected to why hot days equal saggy balls, and cold days equal tight-tuckers! The more you know. – AVZ 

I’m 22 years old. And I spent 20 of those years thinking that I was straight. I grew up in a progressive, open-minded home — and I feel very blessed to be able to say that. Growing up, my parents wanted me to know that sexuality is fluid, and no matter who I loved they would love me all the same. I grew up honestly believing that everyone has a little gay in them — that everyone could appreciate attractive people of all genders. But for longer than I care to admit, I hid behind this idea. I would write off my attraction to women as just being a one-off, that it was just a ‘woman crush,’ and that it was nothing to think too much about. But 20 ‘woman crushes’ later, I finally admitted to myself that I was more than coincidentally homosexual. Deciding I was bisexual was not hard, but articulating it and telling my loved ones was not an easy feat for me. It was not until recently that I finally found the words to share my feelings with my friends and family. Now cue my beautiful, smart, kind, and sexy girlfriend. We met at work, and I knew the moment I saw her for the first time that she was going to mean a lot to me. I had made out and fooled around with women before, but this was different. The first time we had sex, I was terrified I was doing it wrong. I was taught about hetero sex. I saw hetero sex in movies. I had experienced hetero sex. This was all new, and I felt out of my depth. When we were in the moment though, slowly the nerves faded away and I felt happy to have such an incredible woman in my arms. – TC

Bisexual erasure is rampant in our society

0

[dropcap]“[/dropcap]You are either straight or gay.” To some, that probably sounds like an offensive, or at least incorrect, statement. However, to many others, this statement rings true.

“Bi? No way, he’s just saying that for now. Give him a year and he’ll be out.” Maybe you, yourself, have heard this one before, or have even said it, without blinking an eye.

“Are you having lesbian sex? Then you should read this sex health pamphlet!” This one is great, right? Promoting healthy sexual practices and sex positivity! But the truth is, all of these statements are part of a large problem most people are not aware of; it’s called bisexual erasure.

Bi erasure, according to Wikipedia, is the “tendency to ignore, remove, or falsify evidence of bisexuality in history, media, and everyday life.”

Scholar Kenji Yoshino argues that there are a few key reasons why individuals would contribute to bisexual erasure; one being to categorize sexual orientation, so humans can only have one gender preference. People consciously or unconsciously deny the existence of bisexuals in order to feel relieved of any anxiety toward having their own sexual orientation questioned.

Fearing someone else’s sexuality affecting how another identifies is one of the most troubling aspects of bi erasure, and is the definition of homophobia. That fact that someone identifies as bi doesn’t discount your sexuality.  

If I, a woman, have sex with another woman, I am not having lesbian sex because I am not a lesbian. If I am in a relationship with a man, I am not in a straight relationship, because I am not straight. My orientation doesn’t change with who I am dating, fucking, or admiring. I am a queer bisexual woman, no matter how others perceive me.

This is why I am not bothered when my female friends make out with other women and still call themselves straight. Or when past boyfriends confessed multiple attractions to men and still called themselves straight. Or when proud queer friends call themselves lesbians even when they still have sex with men from time to time. The key is that it’s their identity and only they have the power to choose it — no one else.

What bothers me is when people try to define others’ sexualities or dismiss certain identities, and this is particularly a problem with bisexuality.

Sadly, bi erasure is still rampant. Robyn Ochs, who was one of the first to marry a same-sex partner in the US, was called a lesbian despite identifying as bisexual. Other examples of bi erasure exist in our history textbooks, our media entertainment, and within our own social groups.  

Erasure is even worse when it comes to the acceptance and representation of bisexual men. Personally, I find there is much more tolerance for bisexual women, and that bisexual men are often assumed just to be outright gay. Why is this?

We’ve heard this all before: we need more representation and more acceptance of minorities. But with bisexuality being erased from society, these notions are a little different. We need to fully recognize that bisexuality exists and has always existed, and we need to let go of the fear that our own sexualities waver based on others’ identities.
I call myself bisexual. What do you call yourself?