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SFU GOTHIC: The school creeps on . . .

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Written by Kelly Chia, Staff Writer

  • You are in C9000 and you hear wheels. Everyone stops talking to listen to the wheels. The sound is anywhere and everywhere. The lecture hall starts quivering.
  • You hear people talk about being trapped on the mountain in the winter. Elsewhere, the bus’s wheels have stalled on Gaglardi. You suddenly hear the quiet, long groan of students who have just been backstabbed by Road Report.
  • You are joking with a friend about the fog making SFU look like a haunted campus. The fog swallows your friend whole. You curse the campus for taking another student. It never stops taking students.
  • The students murmur that SFU is a campus community. Unbeknownst to them, the school has begun moving down the mountain slowly. We are all helpless to SFU’s descent.
  • You reach out to throw some garbage away. You see a pair of eyes and hear some scurrying. More eyes appear and blink at you, and the night is less lonely.
  • You press your iClicker’s buttons rapidly. Despite its best efforts, it cannot connect to the rumoured channel of second year classes that still use iClickers. You feel the illusion of a community in a claustrophobic classroom of people that are half-asleep. It goes. You press your iClicker’s button again, and it tuts at you.
  • You and your friend are talking about balancing your school budget. Seemingly, out of nowhere, vendors begin spawning in AQ. They will not stop looking at you. They will never, never stop looking at you.

With the archangels’ trumpets missing, God books SFU’s bagpipers to summon the Apocalypse

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Written by Rodolfo Boskovic, SFU Student

Do you have a due date coming up? Forget about it.

If you’ve had time to look outside lately, you might have noticed: it’s the end times, baby! I don’t know about you, but I don’t think the frothing lava pond in the middle of the AQ was part of the construction plans. 

You might have expected heavenly trumpets accompanying the Devils and Angels as they duke it out on the football field. But instead of the keening horns that the Bible always said would herald the Apocalypse, you’ll be glad to see some familiar, kilted faces taking centre stage today.

“We were just as surprised as everybody else,” says Steve Dauner, one of SFU’s best and brightest bagpipers. “That we were asked to pipe this evening, I mean. We haven’t actually been invited to play anywhere in such a long time. We only get to play convocations because of the blood sacrifice we do every semester. 

“We play when nobody wants us to; that’s kind of our bread and butter.”

While crowds of Cornerstone employees, visiting high school students on tour, and baby-chain gangs are running frantically, desperate to escape inescapable doom, SFU students can be found walking briskly past with their heads down.

“Yeah, no, I love the band,” says Tom Lyre, third year humanities major. “I just have somewhere to be, you know. I’m in a hurry.”

The Great Project of Creation has been coming along for some time, but the final due date is here. Some of the organizers do admit there were complications in bringing the project to its conclusion.

“The deadline kind of snuck up on us, to be honest. We were a little strained for cash, so we had to make do,” says War, the Second Horseman of the Apocalypse from his red Mustang. “The syllabus said we needed to have a wind band, but Gabriel’s band canceled on us — kind of crappy if you ask me. We booked them ages ago. Well, good thing the gig economy ends today.”

Some bagpipes players seem conflicted with their role in the Apocalypse. Most, however, are hopeful that this will lead to more opportunities.

“Really, when you think about it, this is only one version of the End,” Dauner reassures. “There are so many religions out there that need a soundtrack to match the agonizing feeling of the end of the world. I don’t want to brag, but . . . I think we have that down.”

Professors pledge to save the environment by recycling syllabuses until 2040

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Written by Jennifer Low, Peak Associate

SFU is known for being an institutional leader when it comes to environmental sustainability. But how is this possible when academia demands the constant use of paper? Look no further than SFU’s main recyclable product: its syllabuses.

Students often notice that dates on their syllabuses may be long gone. While this is usually written off as a typo or accident, what students do not realize is that they have stumbled upon just another way SFU is saving the world.

Dr. Evan Ilo Thearth and Dr. Ima Noctavos, professors of history and biological sciences respectively, have collaborated to create a new online campaign called “Save the world by ‘40”. This campaign challenges teachers, professors, and other educators to reduce their environmental footprint by recycling their syllabuses until the year 2040.

“This way, students can just keep purchasing their books from one another instead of buying new copies and making more paper waste,” Dr. Thearth explains. “Only the SFU rookies and the socially confused ever buy textbooks new from the bookstore, anyway.”

Despite a generally positive reaction from professors, SFU students are more skeptical of Noctavos and Thearth’s campaign. Though most students have, as usual, remained almost totally unaware of this SFU-based movement, a few have lodged complaints about “Save the world by ‘40” with the Human Rights Office. According to Thearth and Noctavos, they mainly argue that professors that reuse the same materials do not keep their classes up to date on the evolving nature of their fields of study.

“I teach history,” Dr. Thearth says in response to these concerns. “Barely anything ever changes!”

Certain students have even challenged their professors with counter-proposals. 

I think a lot more paper could be saved if my professor stopped printing off those weekly quizzes! This is extremely wasteful and ultimately super disrespectful to the environment. #dum” Evanna Help, mathematics major, stated in a Facebook comment tagging the campaign. 

Dr. Noctavos explains that the goal is 2040 because by then, his 19-year-old son will be 40 years old. 

“I want my grandkids — if that boy ever gets off his videogame long enough to find himself a wife — to be able to play outside without wearing a hazmat suit or turning into those characters in Wall-E,” Dr. Noctavos said. 

“And that’s not going to happen if our professors just lounge around, leisurely reading the latest academic journals and selecting timely, thought-provoking research for those over-privileged talking waste receptacles seated in their lecture halls.”

The week ahead in SFU Sports: November 25–December 7

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Photo credit / SFU athletics

By: Dylan Webb, Sports Editor

With the Fall 2019 semester winding down, the week of November 25–December 2 offers an extremely limited schedule for fans hoping to cheer on the Clan. Men’s basketball and hockey are the only two teams in action this week, and both play away from home. 

Due to the limited nature of the week 13 SFU Sports schedule, combined with this week’s edition of The Peak being the last before the winter break, this edition of the week ahead features two weeks worth of SFU Sports action, beginning November 25 and ending December 7. 

Women’s Basketball:

After a week off, the SFU Women’s Basketball team hosts Western Washington University on November 3 at 5:15 p.m. and Montana State University Billings on November 5 at 7:30 p.m. Both games are in the West Gym. These two games are the first of the Clan’s 2019–20 GNAC play, with the game against Western Washington being the regular season home opener. 

Men’s Basketball:

The SFU Men’s Basketball team will conclude its preseason schedule this week with games in Bellingham, Washington against Langara College on November 29 and Colorado Christian University on November 30. Following this, the team will play the first two home games of its regular season in the West Gym. After kicking off their 2019 GNAC schedule by hosting Western Washington University for their home opener on December 3 at 7:30 p.m., the team will host Montana State University Billings on December 5 at 5:15 p.m. 

Men’s Wrestling:

The SFU Men’s Wrestling team is headed to Great Falls, Montana for the Battle of the Rockies, which takes place on December 6 and 7. 

Women’s Wrestling:

An early season trip to Niagara Falls, Ontario for the Canadian Olympic Trials will occupy the SFU Women’s Wrestling team from December 5–7.

Hockey:

A trip to the Aldergrove Community Centre on November 28 for their third of six meetings with the Trinity Western University Spartans this season will be SFU Hockey’s lone game from now until December 2. The team will then embark on the first of two road trips to Castlegar, BC to take on the Selkirk Saints on December 6 and 7. 

 

News Beat: SIAT vs Faculty Basketball

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Meet the hero who ascended to godhood after lasting halfway through No Nut November

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Written by Juztin Bello, Copy Editor

Walking on the moon. Winning consecutive Super Bowls. Letting someone else speak without interrupting. Throughout history, man has made the impossible possible time and time again. But for Ram McCaulkener, the moment of law-defying climax arrived on November 15 — the midway mark of No Nut November. 

Invented by someone with clearly too much time and not enough lube on their hands, No Nut November is a time where men willingly avoid masturbation and sex for a whole month. Though rules have varied by region and federation, most rules allow: boners for no longer than 30 consecutive minutes; one impromptu wet dream; and the viewing of pornography.

As an event that has seen too many men reach a premature completion, McCaulkener’s record-breaking 15-day stint has sparked plenty of attention online, primarily in the very necessary #GuysSupportingGuys Twitter hashtag. The Peak had the opportunity to sit down with McCaulkener to recount his journey from nut to nut-less, starting from his special first time. 

“I started doing it as a joke in high school with some buddies,” McCaulkener recalls. “It seemed kind of stupid at first; I mean, none of us could hold out for very long.” 

This lack of longevity seems to hold true for many men who find themselves thrusted into participating. Men’s Energy And Tonicity claims the first three-day period of this month-long event is the longest and hardest. Unfortunately, MEAT has been unable to provide tips for overcoming this hump, as No Nut November has reportedly beaten MEAT and its staff for countless years.

Despite many failures and a lack of confidence from sources, McCaulkener was not ready to call No Nut November a bust. In third year, a friend of McCaulkener’s challenged him to see who could last the longest.

“My ego refused to let me lose, and I knew what it took to beat him . . . There was no way he would see me coming.” Through a true test of will — which included a hospital visit and a break-up, both due to some literal and metaphorical blue balls — McCaulkener bested his friend by making it to Day 4.

Following his victory and a newfound inspiration, McCaulkener trained tirelessly for the next No Nut November; his regime included wearing a tiny* dog cone for a few hours every night and several attempts at brainwashing himself through self-induced aversion therapy. He had tried to give himself a nut allergy in hopes of making his training easier, but multiple doctors visits and Google searches led him to the conclusion that this was neither the proper route nor humanly possible. 

Riding on this perseverance, McCaulkener entered No Nut November 2019 with confidence.  

“This wasn’t about beating my friends or my meat anymore. This was about proving to myself that I could do what no man has ever done: have the mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional strength to go more than a few days without making the bald man cry.”

No Nut November 2019 started for McCaulkener at exactly 11:59 p.m. on October 31 (Day 0), after what he called “the white storm before the storm.” 

He remembers feeling lightheaded and dizzy on Day 3, his appetite escaping him. 

“I started not being able to look at food the same way,” he states. “I had to throw out all of my grapefruits, and I got rid of all of my oysters so I wouldn’t be tempted to shuck them.”

Things got dicey around Day 6. “My homie bent over in front of me, and it was almost all over from there,” McCaulkener painfully states. At this point, he was also avoiding touching certain fabrics, sitting on certain surfaces, and sleeping. 

By Day 11, McCaulkener was starting to push the boundaries of physics. “There was this thicc-ass tree at the park that had no business being that thicc. Next thing I know, I’m scaling a building to release some very built-up tension.”

Now, having reached the record-breaking Day 15, McCaulkener has ascended into the astral plane.

“I mean, now that I’ve ascended I feel like a whole new man. You know how moms get into those philosophical self-help books like Eat, Pray, Love and they feel enlightened and powerful afterwards? Yeah, I feel that, but like, 100 times better — and I didn’t have to read a stupid book.”

Additionally, McCaulkener has gained a few superhuman abilities. “All of my chakras have been unlocked and it’s really changed things for me. It started with levitation, and then I began moving objects with my mind. I’m like, if you took all of the X-Men together into one guy, and that one guy had all of these superpowers and also didn’t masturbate. That’s basically me now. It’s awesome.” 

Is the end of November it for him? McCaulkener doesn’t know, but he is certain about one thing: he must be the greatest, because no man has ever accomplished this before. And if anything’s going to eventually make him blow his load, it’s that. 

*McCaulkener asked The Peak to note that the use of the word tiny in this instance is used to describe the cone in comparison to the size of standard dog cones. The object with which it is used is not to be associated with the word or implied to be tiny whatsoever.

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: November 18–24

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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor

Aries — March 21–April 19

Find a day this week to bathe in tomato paste. It will neutralize the acrid, nauseating scent of clout-chaser on your body.

Taurus — April 20–May 20

It’s a good week to be upstaged. Take this opportunity to conserve your energies. Whatever the context may be, your nemesis will enjoy the spotlight only fleetingly. Someone is sure to leak video evidence of them performing “Hot Problems” by Double Take as a solo dance number inside an empty Wendy’s.

Gemini — May 21–June 20

Remember back when we told you to fly yourself to Vanuatu and build a new life for yourself? Good thing you didn’t go. If you escape your problems by fleeing to another country, who’s going to do the important work of escaping your problems by retreating into your own personal psychological cradle of introversion?

Cancer — June 21–July 22

Carry bread and clear water with you to every class this week, to be bestowed on all your fave discreet day-drinkers. Spread your sobering gifts to everyone — except those monstrosities who pronounce “drama” as “drah-ma.”

Leo — July 23–August 22

Unreachable, untouchable, unbreakable . . . that’s you this week. They can’t tear you down when your entire character is no more than a fiction written by someone with a humiliation complex and an appreciation for cute bone structure. 

Virgo — August 23–September 22

You might be a Gen Z sun, but you’re a Boomer moon. I know: it’s terrifying. It’s time to take a good analytical look at yourself and transcend that side of you, the way the Teen Wolf movie was adapted into a 21st-century teen drama with more CGI and less homophobia. 

Libra — September 23–October 22

Juliet Capulet was a visionary, but she had some possible areas of improvement to target. So this week, emulate her as far as fake-poisoning yourself and letting men fight to the death over your corpse. But when you awaken amid the bloodied bodies, by God, just take his expensive man-bling and run. 

Scorpio — October 23–November 21

You want to capture the attention of a room this week. So stroll into class with the word of the Lord on your lips: tell them all about the difference between the banana chocolate chip loaves at the Renaissance by Saywell Hall and the banana chocolate chip loaves at Higher Grounds by The Study.

Sagittarius — November 22–December 21

Your innovative mind is breathtaking. Don’t be scared to improvise solutions to your problems this week. There’s no need to look to a horoscope for guidance when you can come up with rushed bad decisions all by yourself. 

Capricorn — December 22–January 19

Looking to confront an old friend about unresolved issues? You could text them to meet for coffee. Or you could manipulate all your mutuals into relaying your dissatisfaction to them through a long, carefully predicted chain of “keep this on the DL, but . . .” If your lost buddy fails to contact you and apologize for their mismanagement of your Neopets account that one summer you were on vacation, it’s time to just dye your eyebrows and move on. 

Aquarius — January 20–February 18

Props to you, honestly: nobody has figured out that your love of dog videos and puppy therapy is like 36% an act. But the truth comes out this week. Sorry in advance for all rushes of acceptance and community you’re about to miss when your friends become that little bit less likely to tag you on Facebook.

Pisces — February 19–March 20

This week, you’ll probably partake in your favourite pastime: whispering rude things about someone you only pretend to condone as a conflict aversion technique. But you need to be cautious. What you haven’t yet realized is that you tend to stage whisper.

Deep thoughts from a bench: A short story from a vintage SFU photo

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Photo: Vancouver Sun (1975) 

By: Jennifer Low, Peak Associate


What do you think SFU students were doing on campus 40, 50 years ago? In honour of National Novel Writing Month and inspired by the New York Time’s segment ‘Past Tense,’ The Peak asked writers to spin short stories based off of archival photos of SFU. Real photos. Fictional stories. All written by SFU students. Martin made his way across the empty courtyard and pulled his guitar out of its battered case. As he lifted the instrument, papers from his various classes spilled out and flew away in the breeze. Martin barely gave them a second glance. Instead, he took a paper cup and a clipboard out of the guitar case. He spent a few moments positioning them carefully on the bench. With a heavy sigh, he sat down, and hefted the guitar onto his knee. 

 

Four years, no major!” He sang, strumming a chord. Martin paused as he tried to think of a word that rhymed with “major.”

Workin’ hard, still a failure,” someone replied which caused Martin to lose his train of thought. 

He glanced up, annoyed as a familiar figure came into view: Bobby. Marty thought his grin far too wide for this early in the morning. 

“No major? I thought you said you were studying history?” Bobby said. “Also, you’re skipping class. Don’t you have a paper due today?”  

“No,” Martin defended, his voice raising. Bobby held up his hands in surrender before stretching out on the bench next to him. 

Martin frowned. Being a musician, he had always thought that being creative and having original thoughts came with the territory, but he was really starting to worry now. He hadn’t written good lyrics in weeks. In every song he wrote, his rhymes were poor and his ideas were lazy — just like his prof thought his paper was. It would be fine if it was just his songwriting, but now that his writer’s block was affecting his academics and endangering his scholarship . . . Martin pushed the thought from his head and focused on watching Bobby pick a few crumbs from his shirt and toss them into the foliage as if feeding imaginary birds. 

“Careful!” Martin said, fumbling with his guitar to slide his items away from the edge of the bench that Bobby had nearly knocked over.  

“So, what are you doing out here, Marty?” Bobby sighed, propping his head on his elbow. Martin thought he looked like he wanted to be painted like a model splayed out like that. “This some kind of activist or protest kind of thing?” 

Martin shook his head. “I’m composing a song about student life.” 

“And the empty cup?” Bobby smirked. 

“Well, if someone hears me and wants to show their support, I’m not going to deny the people what they want!” He paused. “Plus you know, once I’ve lost the scholarship, I’ve got to pay tuition somehow.” 

Bobby threw his head back and laughed, “That’s not how you’re going to attract the crowds, but with me sitting here, looking this handsome? Well, that’s another story! You got yourself a groupie, roomie!” 

Martin rolled his eyes. 

“As long you don’t disrupt my process,” he decided. Bobby nodded obediently and Martin turned his attention back to his instrument. 

Four years, no major—“ 

“Marty,” Bobby interrupted holding up the clipboard and marveling at the blank white paper. “You haven’t gotten anything written down!” 

“I know,” Martin said, annoyed. “That’s why I’m working. Just be quiet.”

“If you want some free advice,” Bobby said ignoring Martin’s annoyed glare, “I think you gotta loosen up, man. You’re putting too much pressure on yourself for it to be good and thoughtful and stuff.” 

Martin began to sing. Four years, no majo—” 

“Marty!” Bobby interrupted again. He pointed dramatically at the cup on the bench. 

“Do you realize that a cup is made to hold water, like a bathtub . . . but a boat is like the opposite, it’s made to be held by water.”

“What?” Martin asked distractedly, trying to remember the chord he was strumming. 

Bobby closed his eyes, “I don’t know, like do you ever just sit and think about stuff. Random stuff?” 

Martin tightened a string on his guitar and resisted the urge to scream at Bobby for being such a nuisance, “What do you mean?”

“Like, how it doesn’t matter what kind of drink you buy, they’re all just flavored water. Or, how like, one day we’ll wake up and be halfway through our lives and not even know it?”

“How did you come up with all these?” Martin asked in mock amusement.

“I was just thinking the other day,” Bobby replied, eyes still closed. 

For a moment, Martin and Bobby sat in silence. They listened to the sounds of the wind and basked in the sun. 

“Do you ever think about how sunlight is technically starlight?” Martin said slowly.

“If your shirt isn’t tucked into your pants, your pants are tucked into your shirt!” Bobby smiled.

“My right eye has never seen my left eye, except for in reflections,” Martin added. “And warm ice cream tastes the same as a warm milkshake.”

“Well,” Bobby said, tilting his head, “I guess that makes sense because milkshakes are liquid ice cream.”

“Letters are just drawings that everyone agrees on,” Martin thought aloud. 

“Zero is something that is nothing,” Bobby replied, nodding.

“You writing this down?” Martin asked after a moment. 

“No,” Bobby answered. 

“I wonder if we’re the first people to have ever thought these things.”

“Probably not,” Martin replied. “I wonder if all our thoughts have been thought before, like, how do we know if we’ve ever had an original thought because nobody keeps track?” 

“Yeah,” Bobby smiled. 

“I think I’m going to have another go at writing my paper,” said Martin. “Thanks Bobby.”

Locked in: A short story from a vintage SFU photo

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Photo: The Peak (1989)

By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer

What do you think SFU students were doing on campus 40, 50 years ago? In honour of National Novel Writing Month and inspired by the New York Time’s segment ‘Past Tense,’ The Peak asked writers to spin short stories based off of archival photos of SFU. Real photos. Fictional stories. All written by SFU students.

 

Brielle Chung woke up with highlighter splotching her cheeks. Groaning, her eyes sleepily adjusted to the dimly lit concrete walls. ‘Right, the AQ, Brielle thought, looking ruefully at her colourful notes. A university freshman, Brielle had just learned the secrets of plowing through time like a champion procrastinator. She had been stationed at the Education Building’s study lounge for a while, slaving away at a paper. It was easy to lose time here.

‘Wait . . . how long have I been here?’ Brielle thought, looking at a nearby clock. The hands pointed to the number two. She was on campus at 2 a.m.

Another long groan. Was there even a bus that would take her home this late? Brielle packed up her things, made her way towards an exit, and lazily pushed against the door. To her chagrin, the door stood stubbornly in place.

Oh no.Brielle tried the other doors along the walls, and realized yet again, they were locked. 

Walking toward an elevator, Brielle found a fire escape map of the AQ. Closely studying it, Brielle took out her notebook and scrawled down a quick layout of the floor and its exits, hoping one hadn’t been locked yet. She started walking and tried to open each door she found, one by one. Brielle crossed out every door that didn’t open on her diagram.

Soon, they were all crossed off. Brielle willed herself to shake off her escalating fears. 

‘The worst thing that will happen to you is that someone is going to unlock the campus at 6 a.m.,’ she reasoned. ‘You just have to wait four hours.’

She took in a deep breath in and continued walking forward, keeping herself busy. How long could four hours be anyway?

During the day, getting lost in the AQ would have been irritating at most. But at night, it unnerved Brielle. Accompanied by nothing but her backpack and the squeak of her sneakers against the tile flooring, she couldn’t help but notice how creepy campus was in the dark. The moon illuminated the shadows of plants and chairs. They jutted out, lurking in the corners of Brielle’s vision. 

How many times had she passed this corner? Had she been here before? She felt like she was going around in a circle, the floor looping almost seamlessly. Concrete blended into wood as she passed the same tables and chairs. It was hard to tell — the halls looked and felt the same.

Every time she turned her head, Brielle noted how many hiding places were around. Brielle’s eyes kept looking back and forth, paranoid. Whenever she passed a lecture hall, she peered inside to make sure there wasn’t someone there. Her eyes, red from exhaustion and alert from fear, couldn’t quite tell if there really wasn’t someone lurking in the dark with her.

Time passed slowly in the AQ. It was only after several laps or so into her exploration of the AQ that Brielle noticed the hall looked… different. Had the lounge chairs moved? Although that could just be her, she reasoned. It had to be her imagination. It had to.

But then, she heard a noise.

‘Maybe it was a raccoon,’ she thought. ‘They’d probably be scurrying around this time, right?’

But the noise continued, persistent. Thump. Thump.

Not willing to take any chances, Brielle stealthily made her way to Robert C. Brown Hall.

The building, with its low ceilings and tightly wound corners, was too quiet for Brielle. She felt her veins fill with adrenaline as she registered the thumps as what they really were; footsteps. Someone was with her.

She snuck quickly through the halls. She passed stairs and empty offices as she ran down further and further. The footsteps were more insistent now. Shit. Whoever was there, they knew she was here.

When she hit a dead end, Brielle realised she couldn’t evade the stranger any longer. Seeing a bathroom on her left, Brielle fled into it and made a beeline for one of the stalls. Carefully, she raised her feet onto the toilet seat, and waited. 

The claustrophobia of the stall was eating at her; the teal walls boxed her in, making her feel like trapped prey. She hugged her backpack closely for reassurance, willing herself to calm down. 

Just then, her notebook tumbled out of her backpack.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Brielle quietly swore, picking it up as quietly as she could. It was then she heard the bathroom door quietly creak open. Had she not seen them trail behind her? How could she be so careless? How— 

“You need to get out now,” a gruff voice spoke suddenly.

Brielle stayed quiet, trying to conceal her cover. Her heart threatened to leap out of her chest, afraid of her impending doom. She was sweating bullets now — there was nowhere to run.

“I know it’s midterm season, but kids like you can’t be staying on campus! I need to clean these toilets,” the person declared, in a more annoyed voice.

Oh.

Martin Scorsese vs. Marvel: how superhero movies are changing Hollywood cinema

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The Marvel Cinematic Universe media franchise began with 2008’s Iron Man. Image courtesy of Walt Disney/Marvel Studios / TechRadar.

By: James Conn, SFU Student

Comic book superheroes have been present in movies and television for decades now, spanning as far back as the 1950s with the Adventures of Superman and the 1960s with the Batman TV series. Theatrical adaptations of these superhero stories were also released throughout the 1970s all the way up to the present day. These movies and tv series cemented many comic book nerds’ love for the characters.

Prior to the 2000s, however, the superhero genre had always been viewed as more of a cult fandom. But after the theatrical successes of the X-Men (2000–2019), Spider-Man (2002–2007), and The Dark Knight (2005–2012) franchises, it was clear that casual media consumers were interested in this genre too. This was recently proven true again, when Marvel’s Avengers: Endgame alone made over $2.7 billion at the worldwide box office, making it the highest grossing film of all time

Despite these successes, various Hollywood legends have recently criticized comic book films and the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU), most notably Martin Scorsese, known for highly acclaimed films such as GoodFellas, Taxi Driver, and The Wolf of Wall Street. In an interview with Empire Magazine, Scorsese said of Marvel films, “[ … ] That’s not cinema. Honestly, the closest I can think of them, as well made as they are, with actors doing the best they can under the circumstances, is theme parks. It isn’t the cinema of human beings trying to convey emotional, psychological experiences to another human being.” Other filmmakers along the lines of Scorsese have supported his claims, including Francis Ford Coppola, who is known for directing The Godfather trilogy. Coppola has stated that Marvel films are “despicable.” 

Scorsese later doubled down on his original comment about MCU being more like theme parks than true cinema by stating that “theatres seem to be mainly supporting the theme park, amusement park, comic book films. They’re taking over the theatres. I think they can have those films; it’s fine. It’s just that shouldn’t become what our young people believe is cinema. It just shouldn’t.” 

While Scorsese and Coppola may be entitled to their opinions about the validity of their own beloved gangster films over the MCU, their views completely disregard the franchise’s success and the way it shifted the nature of filmmaking for Hollywood as a whole. James Gunn, director of the Guardians of the Galaxy films, correctly points out in an Instagram post that “superheroes are simply today’s gangsters/cowboys/outer space adventurers.” Gunn also remarks that years ago, many filmmakers thought the same way of newcomers Scorsese and Coppola and their gangster movies, as opposed to the popular westerns of the time. Knowing this history of cinematic trends, it appears that Scorsese and Coppola’s statements were made in disdain for the new genre dethroning their films from blockbuster status. In other words, these statements are simply the tired complaints from old filmmakers mad at young people for enjoying movies they don’t personally view as cinema. 

The massive success of the MCU — both critically and financially — has possibly threatened Scorsese and Coppola’s own storytelling. For one thing, it is easy to observe the new Hollywood trend inspired by the MCU: franchises that spawn multiple films, or a “cinematic universe.” Scorsese’s description of the MCU as a “theme park” makes sense when viewed through this lens; the Marvel films together act as an immersive, escapist reality that we are transported to when we enter a theatre. Even Robert Downey Jr. (known for playing Iron Man) sympathizes with Scorsese, although he disagrees. On a podcast with Howard Stern, he stated that superhero genre movies “denigrated” an older era of cinema, but that “when you [Marvel films] come in like a stomping beast, and you eliminate the competition in such a demonstrative way, you know, it’s phenomenal.” 

When taking this into consideration, Scorsese’s perspective can likely be attributed to a Hollywood that may be leaving him behind in favour of films adapted from pre-existing intellectual property, such as comic books. However, no single genre is superior to the other, because everyone’s tastes are subjective. This new wave of superhero films and the classic gangster movies of old are both fetishized and beloved in their own way.