Well, you did it. You got through the semester without (being arrested for?) arson. So spend this week reminding yourself that pyromania is not a Christmas gift you give yourself — nor is it a Christmas gift to give to your clueless professor’s thesis research.
Taurus — April 20–May 20
You’re still in a committed relationship with being stubborn and unproductive. This is just the week where it’s time you confessed that to yourself. The sooner the better, so you can break things off in time for you to actually produce your final assignments.
Gemini — May 21–June 20
The Peak’s condolences to you this week. One of your personalities is finally kicking the bucket. McCut-a-Bitch waited too long for an SFU Health & Counselling appointment and then succumbed to the meningitis. If only the rest of you had burned some lavender, you slices-of-a-sociopath.
Cancer — June 21–July 22
You’ll be a mother this week. A colony of ants will come to live in the womb of your infinity scarf, feeding on the abyss of muffin crumbs you lost aeons ago. Nurture them with your body warmth until they, too, abandon you.
Leo — July 23–August 22
End every friendship you have this week. Those hollow-brained sycophants may revolve around you, the sun, but it’s not because they have any loyalty — it’s because they still don’t know how to drive in Vancouver snow and they need your social light and heat.
Virgo — August 23–September 22
When you check in on your personal projects for the semester this week, you’ll find that they’re thriving. Lincoln’s been expelled, Marina’s dropped out, and Hester is dating a Maple Story buff. Looks like your subtle machinations, the ones you can’t confess to anyone but a mall Santa, have finally put you back on top of the social ladder.
Libra — September 23–October 22
Just focus on breathing this week. Nothing else matters when you have become a succulent. Just in time to be regifted to someone, too.
Scorpio — October 23–November 21
This week, your professors have once again failed to prepare you adequately for your upcoming academic stresses. And you can hold that grudge forever if it brings you joy. You and your instructors aren’t kids anymore; playing sad EDENmusic off an iPhone excuses nothing, now.
Sagittarius — November 22–December 21
An old friend will come back into the public eye this week. It might be the one who you shamed into banishment by exposing their Taiwanese chicken nugget feeding fetish — it might not. What’s certain is that you better keep your own secrets on lockdown this week, lest you, too, find yourself dropping out to live in your cousin’s basement and play the Dark Souls Trilogy from now until Armageddon.
Capricorn — December 22–January 19
This week, you will achieve your dream and finally be universally hated by the entire student body. Congratulations. But it’ll all go down the drain next semester when first years arrive and you have to start fresh. Thanks, Trudeau.
Aquarius — January 20–February 18
This week will be another week where you miss out on being recruited by a new cult. Damn. It’s really, really hard to only have one cult option: you need choices on your brunch menu.
Pisces — February 19–March 20
You’ve spent the whole semester soaking up sloppy seconds, with nothing to show for it. But you know what? You do have something nice to show for it: yourself. Under neoliberalism, nothing else matters.
For most, November is just another ordinary month, because their lives are meaningless and boring. For some, it’s the month to celebrate the first reported instance of white privilege. But one thing the world can agree on is that November has a very special meaning. Citizens all over the globe dedicate this month, start to finish, to informing the world of their only somewhat-interesting personality trait: their love for Christmas.
Such people usually achieve this by posting pictures of a Christmas tree alreadyset up, with a ~quirky~ caption like “Finally time for Christmas music [smirky-face emoji]” or the classic rhetorical “is it too early for Christmas decorations?!” The biggest fans of November holiday cheer, of course, are the capitalists who use the simple-mindedness of “I love Christmas” people to start pushing holiday sales the second Halloween ends.
But none latch onto the premature holiday season more tightly than its current ruler: she who dwells in her tinsel-draped chamber, waiting for the clock to strike midnight on October 31 and for the first note from an overplayed Christmas song to play.
Of course, I’m talking about the all-powerful Mariah Carey.
You may think that the Mariah Carey you see in concerts and interviews throughout the year is the Mariah Carey you know and love. In truth, that’s just a decoy stepping in for Mariah, letting her rest in preparation for the time of year when she’s most powerful.
For most of the year, the real Mariah Carey slumbers deep in the centre of the earth, beyond the public eye. When she senses that someone very basic has begun their Christmas celebration too early, she drains their pathetic life, fueling herself to rise once again as she moves from one basic to the next.
Once Mariah Carey awakens, her followers are at her beck and call. They insensately blast her music; they insist she’s still a stable and relevant celebrity. Like Russian sleeper-agents, Mariah activates them with a single whistle tone, readying them to stream her music or form an imposing and subservient militia —whichever she deems necessary.
Perhaps Mariah Carey’s rule over the holiday season started as a lyrical blessing, bestowing joy onto the very bland boys and girls with the never-ending hit “All I Want for Christmas is You”. But it’s become tyrannical — years of a two-month-long demonic rule. While many have tried to dethrone Mariah, she shows very few vulnerabilities to exploit.
Mariah’s one near-falter was her New Year’s Eve performance in 2016, where she was betrayed by her dancers, sound technicians, and band. Unfortunately, Mariah came out alive, which can’t be said about the others involved. No one has heard of them since, but we can only assume she reduced them to ashes for their insolence.
As December approaches, she will only get stronger. When the time comes, Mariah Carey will feast on the bones of the weak and unworthy. Hide your children, and ward her off by placing the blood of a sacrificial lamb in a champagne glass as Carey-season approaches.
Unfortunately, it’s unlikely you’ll escape her. She’ll be everywhere you turn, ready to convert you into one of her own. On the radio, the TV, even your nightmares, the Songbird Supreme canandwill find a way into the lives of the innocent.
Perhaps the only thing to do is to falter and bow to the almighty overlord that is Mariah Carey to avoid imminent death. Don you now your gay apparel and stream Merry Christmas by Mariah Carey for your own safety.
As the great Michael Bublé sings, “It’s that time of year I treasure, the time for giving, the best part of living.” This holiday season is one for giving, so The Peak has compiled this guide which provides an overview of some organisations that let you give back to the community!
Most of the following volunteer positions are for people with little or no experience. Please also note that this guide provides only summaries of volunteer opportunities, so we encourage you to visit the said organisation’s website for detailed information and volunteer applications.
Aunt Leah’s Trees is one of the largest charity tree lots in Canada. This organisation sells locally-sourced Christmas trees with the proceeds going towards funding programs assisting foster children and young mothers. Positions include customer support, cashier, and sales tracking — volunteer orientation is held on-sire. Each shift is 4–4.5 hours long, and group volunteering opportunities are also available. A supply tent will be stocked with snacks and beverages, as well as equipment including gloves and other gear for volunteers.
Hope Rayson, the organization’s Volunteer Coordinator, encourages students to participate. In an email exchange with The Peak, Rayson wrote “SFU students can join the tradition and help prevent foster youth from becoming homeless by volunteering at Aunt Leah’s Tree Lots. Make a meaningful impact while having a great time and getting in the holiday spirit!”
This holiday season, spread the joy of giving to lovely seniors. Home Instead Senior Care pairs seniors, who might not receive Christmas gifts otherwise, with volunteers who wish to give presents to them. Each senior’s gift requests are written on a ‘Be a Santa to a Senior’ bulb and placed on Christmas trees in many retail store locations.
To volunteer, simply type in your area code in their website to find a nearby participating ‘Be a Santa to a Senior’ location such as London Drugs or Vancity outlets. Go to the location to select a bulb from the tree with a senior’s gift request written on it and buy the requested gift. Then, place the bulb and your unwrapped gift(s) in the designated box. Home Instead Senior Care will then deliver your kind gifts to seniors!
Through gathering donations, AIDS Vancouver’s annual event supplies groceries for up to 800 people every holiday season. Volunteers help with tasks like grocery delivery. This organisation partners with many local community agencies, including Positive Women’s Network, Portland Hotel Society,Vancouver Native Health Society, Woodward’s Community Housing, and The Greater Vancouver Food Bank.
The event will take place from 9:30 a.m to 3:30 p.m at the second floor of 1101 Seymour Street, Suite 235, Vancouver. Contact Lawrence Chidzambwa, Grocery Program Coordinator at (604)-696-4678 for more information.
Outreach Christmas is a holiday event that provides food, clothing, and toiletries to those facing the challenges of poverty and homelessness. The event is organised by The Society To End Homelessness, and all resources are supplied by donations from the Outreach Resource Centre. This charity event will also host a number of activities such as card-making, bingo, and hockey. Volunteer positions include: Santa’s helper, bingo monitor, food distributor, MC/greeter, receptionist, and more.
A detailed guide outlining specific volunteer tasks can be found in the event’s website. To apply for a position, contact Carol-Ann Flanagan at (604)-200-0712 or email the centre at [email protected]
The Salvation Army Vancouver Harbour Light is hosting a Christmas Day Community meal, and they need your help to make this event a success!
Volunteers would help with meal preparation, serving tables, and offering ‘sunshine bags’ (i.e. small gifts) to guests. Volunteers must be at least 19 years old and comfortable standing or sitting for the whole shift (1.5–3 hours).
One-time holiday volunteers do not need to attend a volunteer orientation or undergo a Criminal Record Check in advance. Please visit the event’s website to apply and for other details and shift timings.
The Vancouver Christmas Giving Program helps low-income-working families and families on assistance with holiday gift-giving. They are offering the two volunteer opportunities below:
Christmas Toy Store Volunteer:
Volunteers needed would provide one-on-one help to parents as they choose Christmas presents for their children. Available shifts are from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. or 12 to 4 p.m. on weekdays and 10:00 a.m. to 2:00pm on December 14 only.
Toy store location: 205 Victoria Drive, Vancouver B.C.
Gift Sorting in LMCB Warehouse:
The LMCB receives up to 100,000 gift items for Christmas, therefore, the organisation needs volunteers who can assist them with collecting, sorting, and shipping gift items. Volunteers can sign up for either morning or afternoon shifts. There are no required minimum hours.
You can apply for one or both of these volunteering positions through their website.
Contact LCMB for more information at (604)-253-7191
This famous local market, held at the Jack Poole Plaza, hosts festive shows and features many shops for visitors to enjoy. Starting November 20, the market will be open everyday from 11:30
A.m. to 9:30 p.m. On December 24, the market’s last day, it will be open from 11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Organisers of Vancouver Christmas Market are looking for volunteers who can help with promotion, act as mascots, supervise the Kinder Kraft Igloo (which is an accessible and friendly position to oversee a crafting booth for children), tend to guests, and support the market’s social media team. Volunteers will be gifted with complimentary tickets along with free food and drink every shift. Given the market’s long duration, a variety of day and evening shifts will be made available on both weekdays and weekends. Shifts are four hours each and are allocated on a first come first serve basis. You can apply to be a volunteer by filling out a form on their website. Selected volunteers will be contacted by email and invited to a Meet & Greet in November.
Giving back (literally): Organizations looking for item donations
The centre is seeking donations for women and children this holiday season! You can donate new and unopened items like scarves and chocolates, or anything else from their holiday wishlist. Donations will be accepted until December 13.
The Christmas Backpack program provides homeless youth with a backpack full of Christmas gifts. You can help this cause by donating money for their Christmas campaign,
purchasing a completed backpack through their partner Army & Navy, or purchasing a backpack and advent items online from their Amazon wish list. Only new, unopened, and unwrapped gifts will be accepted. Contact Covenant House in advance before leaving/delivering donations.
For more information, reach out to Cory Kaban, Development Associate, at (604)-757-6064 or [email protected]
Soles for Souls collects and provides footwear for people living in poverty. According to the organization, they support groups including: “working poor, people living with disabilities (15% live in poverty), people who are homeless, single parent families[ . . . ].” This annual sneaker drive is presented by BRED, the Vancouver Sneakerheads Group, and Vancouver Streetwear Community.
During the event, Soles for Souls will collect new or lightly worn footwear, as well as donations to the Shoe Bank of Canada. This 19+ free event will be held from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., and will offer drinks, music, shoe raffles, and giveaways from sponsors.
Location:
1063 Hamilton St., The Space Art Gallery, Vancouver, BC
Just because it's funny doesn't mean it's satire. Illustration: Tiffany Chan/The Peak
By: Juztin Bello, Madeleine Chan, Kelly Chia, Gabrielle McLaren, Nicole Magas, Marco Ovies, Nathaniel Tok, Winona Young
This first-year class cost you $500, the least you could do is pay attention! As a fourth year filling up her breadth courses with first year classes, I have made some observations, and I am worried.
As I sit in these godforsaken lecture halls with these ridiculously tiny desks, I can’t help but look around at the people stuck here with me. All I see are freshmen with varying levels of apathy.
Look, I too get tired in class — the notes that I’ve taken while going into microsleep can attest to that. But if you’re going to take a three-hour nap in the back of the room where the acoustics stretch your snores all the way back to the professor, maybe just finish your beauty sleep at home.
Then there’s the ones who straight up start playing video games. How do you spend hundreds of dollars on a class, decide to go to lecture, then launch League of Legends? Could you not stand to care a little more? Please, just . . . don’t play games until the class is done. It’s plain disrespectful to the professor who is doing their best to lecture a mob of 200 people. Unlike your participation grade, your game will still be alright if left alone for a few hours.
Thousands of dollars goes into our education! We might as well make the most of it. Your freshmen classes need you to be present enough to survive the rest of the challenges SFU has in store for you, and your professors are trying to help you through the process. Don’t ignore that for something that you can do after class.
Kelly Chia, Staff Writer
Retail employees deserve a happy holidays too
Illustration: Tiffany Chan/The Peak
“Thanks! Have a good day,” is the last thing any retail employee wants to say after an aggression-filled eight-hour shift. The forced smile behind drained eyes, the higher-octave voice masking the exhaustion, and the reluctantly ushered apologies to undeserving heathens are all familiar to me, as someone who worked three years in retail.
I get it — the holidays are a stressful time for everyone. Between buying the perfect gift, trying to one-up family members with more successful lives, and surviving the rampant chorus of people who think loving Christmas music is a personality, the holiday season can be pretty exhausting. But frankly, Karen, your exhaustion is no excuse to yell at an innocent retail employee who doesn’t get paid nearly enough to tolerate your fatuous and palatine demands.
For all the Karens out there who have never worked retail (and thus lack basic human decency) you probably don’t understand how draining it is to be yelled at about things you can’t control in a work environment. Is it my fault that popular items are out of stock because smarter people bought them earlier? No. Is it my fault that last-minute items you need can’t be shipped before Christmas? No. Is it my fault that the four items you want cost more than $150 total? No. Blame capitalism, not me.
This holiday season, please smile and thank the employees when they hand you the items you chose to buy last minute. Pick an item off the ground and place it back onto the shelf when you see someone blatantly drop and ignore it. And, please, I beg you, do not try to return something the day after Christmas with no receipt. Just don’t.
Juztin Bello, Copy Editor
All the women who won’t let me poop in peace
To the woman applying make-up in the washroom mirror:
I’m sorry, but I reallyneed to poop.
It’s not your fault. Last night’s Mexican leftovers weren’t the height of good decision-making for me, and that venti coffee I chugged before my 8:30 a.m. class has turned a bad situation into an emergency.
This isn’t what you want. Frankly, it’s not what I want either — but nonetheless this is happening. This is a force of nature and it can’t be stopped.
And I need you to leave.
I mean this in all kindness, please, for the love of god, just leave.
What are you even doing over there? What touch-up requires 15 minutes of silently staring at a mirror? I know you’re there. I can hear you shuffling through your bag, shifting your weight back and forth. You turned the sink on once, and I thought that was the end of it. I thought I could finally let go.
But you’re still there.
I can’t stress enough how much it would be better for both of us if you quietly slipped out now. We don’t ever have to speak of this again. I know you can hear me whimpering in here and I honestly can’t hold it back any longer.
Neither of us deserves what’s coming next, but you, at least, could be spared.
Nicole Magas, Opinions Editor
Keep on walking, intrusive thoughts
My therapist warned me about you.
Illustration: Tiffany Chan/The Peak
You, my intrusive thoughts, who push their way into my daily routine with no preamble or any goddamn courtesy. Y’all are the mental equivalent of getting pop-up windows about hot singles in my area. Don’t think I don’t notice you whispering stuff like “Do you really love your life?” or “You’re being too needy,” or “Why are you like this?” at 3 a.m. NO bitch, why are YOU like this? Begone, thought!
Listen here, punks. I run this chemically-imbalanced brain ship. Contrary to what you say, I am doing just fine! I am worthy of love! I am trying my best! Though I feel like I’m an emotionally raw chicken cutlet of a woman, I will endure you! If you don’t cut this shit out, I WILL use my cognitive behavioural therapy techniques to counteract your harmful effects on my mental health!
I am going to cope the living shit out of you. I will acknowledge you, will actively try to focus on other things, and call you a bitch for being mean to me. Because at the end of the day, you are just a thought. A thot (aka “that harmful-thought over there”), and nothing more.
It’s gonna go down in my next therapy session. Bro, once we unpack what triggers y’all, and extensively discuss how to deal with you in a healthy way, it’s over for you thots!!!
Winona Young, Features Editor
Stop teasing me with end of semester opportunities I have no time for!
Bing! New email received at 3:23 a.m. from Professor Sleepless: “You are cordially invited to participate in this great opportunity for students one day before your final exam for my course.”
Seriously? Not only do papers and exams come stacked together, apparently so do cool events. Just in the last two weeks of school, I have at least three of each of the following: assignments, papers, presentations, projects, and quizzes.
In those same two weeks, there are so many interesting and useful events to participate in! Workshops to teach me how to use this new data analytical software? Pssh let’s have it on the last week of school. Time management seminar? Let’s make it halfway through exam week, because students should learn time management when it’s already too late. Of course, all this is on top of finals, work, and other regular commitments.
I don’t get it. Everyone knows the last third of a semester is a busy time for students, and yet this is apparently the perfect time to ask us to attend other events. Why ignore all the extra time students have at the start of the term, or better yet, in between semesters?
Time management is supposed to be a key skill for students to master, but sometimes it’s not our fault that we have to trade our sleep for our future.
Nathaniel Tok, Peak Associate
I’m here to cry about spilled milk
Illustration: Tiffany Chan/The Peak
Dawg, all you need to do is give me my almond milk, it’s not that hard. I’m tired of spending six fucking dollars on a subpar latte just because I’m a slut for Starbucks. “Why don’t you just get them to remake your drink Marco?” Well first of all, I usually don’t notice it’s the wrong drink till it’s too late. Also, I’m scared of confrontation.
But I shouldn’t have to ask them to always remake my drink! Why can’t they just get it right the first time?* Dairy alternatives aren’t cheap either — it’s a whole extra 60 cents. I just paid for my drink in nickels, I can barely afford my specialty milk.
The worst part of all of this is my lactose intolerance. The second I’m handed anything that is not my non-dairy beverage my bootyhole shrivels up and dies.
If I’m paying a premium price to get a drink to comfort my dying soul, I at least deserve to get what I ordered. Instead I’m getting this garbage moo milk that is turning my insides into an SFU Introductory Tap Dance class.
Please Starbucks baristas, just make my drink properly. Take that teensy second out of your day and double check my cup to make sure that I’m getting my nut milk. If not, I will destroy every single toilet on this goddamn campus and it will be all your fault.
Marco Ovies, Staff Writer
*Editor’s note: Marco is allowed to be bratty about minimum wage Starbucks employees because he himself is a minimum wage Starbucks employee
If we can’t have dedicated SUB space, can we at least have functional common rooms?
Do you know where your program’s common room is? Does your program even have a common room? Because mine doesn’t. At least, not one that I am aware of.
This is a problem. As far as I know, as a communication student, I only have a bunch of fancy chairs beside the department head office that they have the nerve to call a “lounge.” It’s bad enough already that CMNS seems like its been shoved into the Netherrealm of the Shrum Science Kinesiology Building. We CMNS students should have access to a spacious room with sufficient amenities where we can hang out with our peers. And you know what? every other program should have this as well.
And even when other programs do have a space, not enough people seem to be aware of them. The GSWS common room could be on the moon for all most students know. It takes forever to find psychology’s student space through RCB’s haze of dust and M.C. Escher-esque staircases. Does history even have a common room, or is it tucked away in a basement that hasn’t been excavated since the 16th century?
Where are the tour guides, the advertising, and the effort spent letting new students know where their rightful rooms are? It should be like fucking Hogwarts up on this mountain, where common rooms are well-known, luxurious, safe havens for each programs’ students.
We really should have functioning and inviting spaces — if not fully dedicated rooms — that build community within each program. Especially at a time at SFU when community space is increasingly being negotiated and taken away from us. We need better, and we deserve better.
Madeleine Chan, SFU Student
My constant psychological warfare with the library’s catalogue
It’s 11:37 p.m. I have been awake for 16 hours, written 2300+ words, guided friends through seven personal/academic crises, and consumed enough coffee to smell colour.
All I need to finish up is The Perfect Bookby Summa Cademic. I open the library catalogue and search.
Results filter in.
There are three book reviews.
There’s an article written in Completely Unrelated Journal From Field You Know Not, volume 69, by one of the book’s reviewers.
Then, a New York Timesop-ed called “The Perfect Book To Curl Up With This Holiday Season If You Enjoyed Seventh Century Montenegrin Poetry.”
Suddenly, another review. Why wasn’t it with the others? I don’t know. SFU doesn’t know. In the distance, sirens.
Finally, a book appears — Nadia Wright-Purson’s An Imperfect Book.
With its reviews.
I can hear the colours too.
I refine my search. “Books only, please.” I don’t ask, asking implies agency — I implore. I beg. I burn sage and humbly sacrifice my last Pop-Tart. Athena, heed my prayers.
The page refreshes. One of The Perfect Book’sreviews is featured in Surprise, Printed Book Reviews Are A Thing(UBC Press, 431 B.C.E.).
SFU owns 12 copies.
I run out of gods to pray to, but no matter, for they were never listening.
I am now helplessly scrolling down page 3 (I guess). Maybe I need to request an interlibrary loan.
Pokémon Sword and Pokémon Shield were released on November 15. Image courtesy of The Pokémon Company / mic.com.
By: Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor
When I picked up Pokémon Shield, my expectations weren’t what I’d call coherent. I had high hopes based on my usual excitement for the start of a new Pokémon generation; I was also very scared, having absorbed masses of online vitriol about how disappointed hardcore fans were with these upcoming games, mostly stemming from “Dexit” — what people are calling the fact that not all 890 Pokémon can be transferred into Sword and Shield.
Guess I’m a filthy little casual, because I loved the new Pokémon. Loved. It.
That’s right: while I certainly couldn’t call these games perfect, I had a blast playing through them. There’s a big contrast between what I experienced and what a lot of the more vocal Pokémon players seem to feel, and I think it comes down to one key fact: these games feel accessible to and tailored for a more relaxed and inclusive audience.
Sword and Shield, in my view, aren’t for players who want to labour away at catching one of every Pokémon species for their Living Dex, level-grind themselves into irrelevancy, or meticulously breed for a perfect competitive team. It’s for people who like casual gameplay and want a Pokémon experience where they can experiment, play at their own pace, and unwind. As a love letter to that audience, it’s highly effective. But if you’re just a typical Pokémon fan who’s looking for something new to try, then I think these games are for you.
From the ruddy, draconic architecture of Hammerlocke to the soft natural luminescence of Ballonlea, the Galar region was a beautiful stage for the Switch’s first Pokémon adventure. The choice to bring in James Turner, a U.K.-native, as artistic director for this U.K.-inspired region definitely pays off. Though most of the areas did superficially correspond with the usual Pokémon mainstays — a desert area, a forest near the player’s hometown, a snowy location — Galar definitely felt fresh.
It’s certainly not Breath of the Wild-tier visuals, but then, I don’t know what players could realistically expect from a game that had maybe two years in production. While this didn’t interfere with my playing experience, some corners were clearly cut — the city of Spikemuth having a single navigable alleyway is probably the most blatant example.
Catching and raising Pokémon has never been a more diverse experience. You can build many different teams right off the bat; I captured, like, 80 different species in my first few hours playing. This furthers a positive trend we’ve seen since Pokémon XY — in older generations, I pretty much always knew “the team” I would be using.
That, in turn, is where the ungodly amounts of experience you accumulate — hated by many for making the game “too easy” — come in. It’s not for the player who calculates out the perfect efficient six-mon team; it’s for players who want breathing room to try out and raise all kinds of Pokémon without ending up too weak to progress.
Battles in this game were par for the course for Pokémon, and the new take on Gyms as spectator sports was glorious. The huge stadiums really worked with the console playstyle while serving as a cultural shoutout to British sporting culture. Admittedly, it does take a long time for battles to get challenging, but that’s also me speaking as a long-time player. The new Dynamaxing mechanic was a blast, too — I didn’t miss Mega Evolution or Z-moves at all, and it was an inspired choice to go for a size-changing technique in Pokémon’smove from handheld to console. Watching my Eevee blow up to its hyper-cuddly Gigantamax form was truly a gift.
The other major new addition to the games was the Wild Area. I loved the open concept and its sheer expanse, the Raid Battles were cool, and I consider it the start of a really amazing direction for Pokémon regions going forward. At the same time, someone doing a story run is really just going to encounter a lot of grassy plain and some water.
Ironically, the game also suffers visually from its Wild Area, because the Area’s open-world format contrasts so heavily with the relatively textbook Pokémon design seen almost everywhere else in the game. It still hurts to imagine what exploring Motostoke could have been like in a world where SwSh had more time to cook and give all the game’s locations the same control scheme and detail as the Wild Area.
I don’t want to get too deep into plot details here, but story-wise, the game was “meh” in a lot of ways. Most of the characters were not especially interesting, and the endgame conflict feels awfully contrived. That said, I think the games do take a surprisingly cheeky tone on some past story trends for Pokémon. For example, the franchise is well-known for its bizarre reliance on preteen heroes while all the adults and “elite” trainers are basically useless — and this is something that’s subtly alluded to and played with in these games.
Overall, Sword and Shield were great games, despite a lot of the fan backlash. They have flaws, and those flaws might not agree with you — but if you can find it in your heart to play through them, I think you’ll find the magic in Gen 8 just like I did.
Our Peak Sports Mailbag topic this week is SFU Hockey and our host is second year SFU Hockey goaltender Michael Lenko.
Thanks so much to all of our readers for submitting their SFU Hockey-related questions this week, and for filling up my inbox with sports-themed questions throughout the semester. As this is the final mailbag of the Fall 2019 semester, I’m happy to announce the winner of our semesterly Peak Sports Mailbag raffle draw. The winner of the draw this semester is Derek W. Congratulations Derek! We’ve sent you an email with details on how to pick up your prize. Now, onto the questions!
Question 1: Can you tell me a bit about the history of the SFU Hockey program? – John
Answer: The SFU Hockey team was founded in the 1960s and competed through the 1970s with a handful of other collegiate teams in the area. Following a long break, the team began to compete again in the 2004–05 season and, in 2006, took part in the formation of the British Columbia Intercollegiate Hockey League (BCIHL).
The main reason for the formation of the BCIHL was to allow local players to continue playing at the collegiate level while they earned an education. I would say the biggest difference in the BCIHL from then to now is how competitive the league has become compared to other well-recognized leagues. BCIHL teams now consistently play against, and compete reasonably with, U Sports and NCAA Division 1 opponents in exhibition play. Similarly, the quality of players in the league is only getting better, and it is now hard to find a roster that is not made up of high-end junior A and B players with some WHL alumni sprinkled in.
In the 18 years since the BCIHL was first established, the SFU Hockey team has won three league championships. While the program has flirted with the possibility of joining the NCAA Division 1, the costs are too prohibitive to make the move at this time.
Question 2: Who are the most notable SFU Hockey alumni in terms of their on-ice careers? – Chelsea
Answer: While there have been many SFU Hockey alumni that have made the jump to pro-hockey, I’ll discuss some of the most recent success stories of players that have graduated into professional leagues after playing with the Clan.
In the last few years, the SFU Hockey team has produced a handful of players that have gone on to play in some well-recognized professional leagues across the world. In another Peak article published earlier this year, I highlighted Ian Mackey, who was a teammate of mine last year, and his jump to the ECHL. Another former teammate of mine, 2018 BCIHL MVP Mathew Berry-Lamontagna, is currently playing in the top Hungarian pro league. Former BCIHL MVP from the SFU hockey program, Lyndon Stanwood, made the jump to pro hockey in Sweden last year and is currently playing in their second tier professional league.
Arguably the most successful SFU Hockey alumnus, in terms of their post-SFU hockey career, is Jordan Liem. Liem currently plays for ORG Beijing of the Supreme Hockey League (VHL). The VHL is a very strong league that is just a step below the Kontinental Hockey League (KHL), which is widely regarded as the second-best hockey league in the world. It is a really unique league to play in because, just like the KHL, the VHL has teams in Eastern Europe, Russia, and China.
Question 3: What type of community events has the SFU Hockey team participated in? – Adam
Answer: So far this year, we’ve been involved in the Down Syndrome Research Fund bocce Tournament in North Vancouver and the Westburn Family Picnic and Movie Night that took place during the summer. These were both fun events to be a part of that helped raise money for a good cause.
Some of the other events we’ve been a part of in the past are the Hockey Gives Blood drive and the Canadian National Blind Hockey Tournament. The Hockey Gives Blood event really hit home for many members of the SFU Hockey program, as it was started in support of the Humboldt Broncos tragedy on April 6, 2018. Many of my teammates knew and/or played with people that were on that bus, so it was nice to have a way to honour their memory and help save lives by donating blood and joining the stem cell registry. The SFU Hockey team has also sent players to local Burnaby elementary schools to read to kids throughout the past few seasons.
Though this is the final Mailbag of the Fall 2019 semester, this feature will return in some form in the Spring 2020 semester. If you would like to participate in future editions of the Peak Sports Mailbag get in touch at [email protected].
“New Sincerity Nude” (2018), Sára Molčan. Image courtesy of the artist.
By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer
This year’s Eastside Culture Crawl took place from November 14 to 17 across 68 East Vancouver venues. From painters to glassblowers, the festival showcased 495 artists, taking its visitors on a tour through the lens of art in East Vancouver.
The Peak had the opportunity to interview one of the Culture Crawl’s Vancouver-based artists, Sára Molčan. Her works focus on how our culture has changed because of social media, using herself as a reference. On her website’s about page, Molčan says that her art plays with the masks people wear on social media. As many of us know, our curated online persona and our offline personality often overlap. We are still finding out how this shapes the ways we interact with our world and changes the ways that we are vulnerable. Molčan uses this conflict between the two versions of yourself, the curated and the genuine, and translates it into her art.
In two words, Molčan’s pieces are emotionally explosive, vividly exposing vulnerable parts of her life. With pieces like “wyd bb,” an oil painting depicting her kissing a stranger and an iOS alert that reads, “Error: This situation is dysfunctional. Accept fate.” she reaches into the psyche of social media culture to pull out something that people can recognize. Though Molčan told me that her work is a way to work through her own traumas, there are many pieces of hers that people can relate to.
“A lot of us interact with society in the same way,” she said. “My goal is to make people feel less alone.”
To that effect, Molčan is interested in new ways for getting her audience to engage with her art. For example, her paintings have an augmented reality (AR) feature that allows people to interact in an additional layer of her art through an app named Eyejack. Viewers can scan QR codes through the app and view her work through their devices, allowing them to see extra details about the piece. Examples of this can be seen on her Instagram page, giving the paintings extra context in an engaging way.
Her favourite piece that she’s painted this year is an oil painting called “Showing Pink.” Molčan paints herself in a nude sext, showing the reader an iOS alert that reads, “Are you sure you want to forward this content? Further transmission violates the intended use and implied trust.” Molčan said that often when nudes are leaked, the sender is blamed, even though the person who forwards it is the one who violates trust. It’s a highly relevant topic, of course, and the painting also gave Molčan some more agency. She told me: “By painting my own [body], and being vulnerable in that way, I take power back as a woman.”
With so many of her works navigating trauma being shared on the internet, Molčan and I had a conversation about the consequences of sharing such traumas on social media. We concluded that internet trauma was like a double-edged sword: on the one hand, people expressing their traumas and experiences with anxiety could help readers recognize their own anxiety. But she worries that it can also contribute to a culture of comparison, prompting people to ask questions like, “Who had it worse?”
People may be able to relate to the core feelings in her work, but she’s understandably cautious about sharing specific stories with her art.
“I recognize that I went through hell and back, but I [also] recognize that my story is one of many. When you compare traumas, that’s when it [becomes] dangerous,” Molčan told me, prompting people to not dismiss their traumas because they don’t look like someone else’s.
“Your stuff is a big deal,” she stressed.
This year, Molčan featured her art series, Love, madness at the Culture Crawl. Molčan also spent the entire festival painting on a large canvas, as she does every year.
“Whiskey Dick” (2019), Sára Molčan. Image courtesy of the artist.
“wyd bb” (2019), Sára Molčan. Image courtesy of the artist.
SFU forward Trevor Ayre had three points in the game - Photo credit / SFU Hockey
By: Michael Lenko, Peak Associate
Cole Plotnikoff’s first goal of the season, scored less than two minutes into the first period, was the game-winning goal in the most dominant win for the SFU Hockey team this season.
Following Plotnikoff first goal to open the scoring, the Clan continued to dominate the last place Vikes for a full 60 minutes. Unlike other games this season, the strong effort paid off immediately for the Clan as Trevor Ayre picked the top cornerto put the Clan up two. Just over a minute later, first year forward McKullen Astill collected his second goal of the season to extend the lead to three heading into the intermission.
After putting up 17 first period shots while conceding just 6 against, the Clan picked up where they left off. Despite the Vikes coming out of the intermission to create some chances of their own, goaltender Patrick Zubickwas up to the task, making a key penalty kill save early in the frame. Benefiting from strong goaltending that held the lead at three early on, the Clan increased their lead to five on two goals from second year forward Mitch Ledyard. Following Ledyard’s first of the game, Vikesstarting goalie Daniel Paul’snight was done and Niall Murphy came into the game to replace him. Ledyard added his second goal of the night minutes later to rudely welcome Murphy onto the ice. While the scoresheet for the second period appeared as lopsided as the first in terms of goals scored, both teams ended up with just 8 shots in the period.
The well-rounded performance was much needed for the Clan after a couple of disappointing results over the past couple of weekends. The team was able to heavily outshoot their opponent, and the first line had their most dominant game of the season, accounting for five of the seven goals. Another positive was Cole Plotnikoff’s first goal of the season; look for Plotnikoff to return to the point per game pace he was on last season. A third bright spot was the play of Zubick in goal. While he wasn’t extremely busy, Zubick looked sharp throughout the game and picked up the Clan’s second shutout against the Vikes this season.
Quidditch players fight over the Quaffle - Photo credit / Quidditch Canada
By: Marco Ovies, Staff Writer
Harry Potter was a major part of my childhood, so I knew about Quidditch. It was the sport that witches and wizards played on flying broomsticks. The sport that magically-endowed folk played by throwing balls through hoops while in mid-air. So, when my editor asked me to cover the Quidditch tournament that SFU was playing in, I was confused. Either this was some sort of fever dream I couldn’t wake up from, or flying broomsticks had been invented without my knowledge. Once he explained, I was expecting a bunch of nerds, like myself, running around with broomsticks between their legs, enacting their wildest Harry Potter fantasies.
I don’t think I have ever been so wrong.
Entering the stadium, the first thing I saw was a burly man, screaming, decked out entirely in yellow. I was told later that this was the Snitch, which struck me as odd given the tiny and fragile nature of the book’s Snitch. It was supposed to be a delicate little ball made of gold that the Seekers were dedicated to catching — not this muscled man that could have crushed me between his pinky fingers.
Not only was the Snitch a lot more intense than I thought it would be, the entire game was also quite violent. Quidditch, I quickly discovered, is a full-contact sport. For those unaware of the workings of Quidditch, the game is played with six people from each team on the field at a time. There are four positions: the Keeper, who acts as a sort of goalie protecting three hoops; three Chasers who are trying to get the Quaffle (in this case, a volleyball) through one of the three hoops; two Beaters, tasked with trying to knock out other players with dodgeballs; and finally, there are Seekers, who are dedicated solely to trying to catch the Snitch.
Technically, there is an additional player, the Snitch, who does not belong to either team. Game officials attach a tennis ball to the Snitch’s back, which the Seekers have to grab to end the game. The only way a game of Quidditch ends is when the Snitch is caught by either team, but catching the Snitch doesn’t guarantee a win. Since 10 points are awarded for each goal scored by Chasers, it is possible for a team to have enough points to remain in the lead despite the opposing team having earned the 30 points for catching the Snitch and ending the game. In other words, there is a strategic timing to when the Snitch is caught by either team, based on the current score.
I was surprised by the strategies being executed by most teams at the tournament. Instead of one longer game, like I seem to remember from the Harry Potter movies, it felt like very short rounds that utilized bursts of speed rather than endurance. Each game would last a minute or two until the referee would blow the whistle and the teams would reset.
The most challenging element of the game, in my eyes, was passing the Quaffle. Each catch had to be made with one hand, since the other was holding a broomstick. A huge factor in the challenge of passing is also the Beaters from the opposing team. If you get hit by a dodgeball from one of the Beaters, you have to drop your broomstick, and the Quaffle if you’re holding it, and run back to your hoops before you can rejoin the game. Between these two difficulty-enhancing factors, passing the Quaffle was rarely completed successfully.
It was interesting, and quite difficult, trying to follow the play with so many different elements of the game in action at one time. Regardless, there was definitely never a moment that I was bored or questioned if Quidditch was a real sport. In all honesty, I can easily imagine Quidditch as a future Olympic event that I would gladly watch. Count me in for season tickets if a professional Quidditch team ever comes to Vancouver!
Illustration courtesy of Maple Sukontasukkul / The Peak.
By: Sara Wong, SFU Student
Whenever I’m buying a gift for someone, I want it to be special. Christmas is fast approaching, and one of my favourite holiday activities is attending local markets to find the perfect present. The great thing about a local market is that you get to meet the artisans who create the things you’re looking at. Since they’re local, you can easily find them and purchase more of their products later in the year.
The Metro Vancouver area has a plethora of holiday and Christmas markets to choose from and, being a craft market enthusiast, I’ve been to just about all of them. Here’s a breakdown of the four that I frequent around this time of year.
Candytown is not so much a market as it is a festival. Yaletown is transforming for one magical night only, and it’s one event you definitely won’t want to miss. While there will be a market of various local artisans (many of which you will find at the other markets mentioned in this article), this event will also feature food and entertainment, as well as a self-guided cocktail tour (if you’re 19 or older). I would also recommend going on a carriage ride, which are by donation. Candytown is an outdoor festival, so be sure to dress warmly — unfortunately, hot chocolate can’t solve all weather-related problems.
When: December 6 from 4 p.m. to 9 p.m. and December 7 from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
Where: Audain Art Museum, Whistler
Cost: $3 market only/$15 market and museum (advance tickets); $5 market only/$18 market and museum (at the door)
Looking for an adventure? How about a road trip to Whistler! The Refresh Market is a spectacular change of scenery. This year, the market is hosting a pop-up at the Audain Art Museum in Whistler during the first weekend of December. You can easily spend the entire day admiring the view, but I promise that the numerous booths selling ceramics, facial products, and bohemian-style clothing will be equally as alluring.
Where: Croatian Cultural Centre, 3250 Commercial Drive, Vancouver
Cost: $3.93 (online, service fees included)/$5 at the door
This year, the Got Craft? holiday market promises to be bigger, better, and livelier at their new location: the Croatian Cultural Centre on Commercial Drive. The market boasts a long list of diverse vendors as well as food and drink options. What’s great about this market compared to the rest is the possibility to discover vendors you likely will not see elsewhere. If you’re looking for some cheeky Christmas cards or an artisanal fortune cookie, Got Craft? is the right place to be!
When: December 11 to 15, starting and ending at different times each day
Where: PNE Forum, Vancouver
Cost: $5 early bird tickets online (discounts available)/$10 at the door
There is a lot at Make It so be prepared to spend at least two hours here — partly because the market gets crowded, fast. A large group of talented artists results in a large variety of products to peruse, including artwork, candles, and clothing. My personal favourite part of the market is the food section. When I get there, I buy more gifts for myself than for my friends and family; just because you’re doing Christmas shopping doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself! The event is quite popular among Vancouverites, so here’s a hack to make sure you don’t miss out: buy your tickets to the market in advance on Groupon, or sign up for their newsletter online to get a reduced price.
