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SuperM takes Vancouver by storm

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Arts
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Photo: Genaro Molina / Los Angeles Times
Photo: Genaro Molina / Los Angeles Times

by Paige Riding, News Writer

On February 6, SuperM made their Canadian debut at Rogers Arena. The group combines members from major K-pop groups already formed including EXO, NCT, and Shinee. SM Entertainment, one of the “Big 3” labels in South Korea, formed SuperM at the end of 2019. 

As fans flocked in, it became apparent that SuperM practically sold out the 18,000+ capacity arena. Smiling faces and differently coloured fan lightsticks from the different groups lit up the sea of fans.

Due to how recently SuperM debuted and the limited number of songs they have released, a great focus of the concert was not the group performing songs together. Solo stages predominated the tracklist. The charisma and individual talents of each member shone through well-produced songs catering to each member’s strengths. Impressive visual accompaniments, including three large screens and a great number of stage lights, heightened the performances.

The group’s choreography accompanied powerful, catchy lyrics and driving beats. Despite popular belief, the language barrier that deters many people from the K-pop genre had no effect on the powerful performances each member provided, given the roaring crowd heard throughout the night.

Notable performances included the group coming together to perform an unreleased track “With You,” a bright, fresh song accompanied by the members throwing frisbees into the crowd, as well as solo performances by K-pop royalty Taemin and talented rapper Taeyong with “GTA.”

Two catwalks ending in smaller stages flanked the main stage at the front. This allowed the seven high-energy members to run out and utilize more space for fan interactions. Not only could all fans with floor tickets get incredible views as the group performed at different spots, but even those in the nosebleeds had their opportunities to zoom their phone cameras in and get half-decent shots of the members.

Between song streaks, the seven members took time to speak with the crowd. One member, Mark, grew up in Vancouver and was thrilled to be home to visit. SuperM worked to keep the high energy going throughout the night, focusing more on upbeat dance tracks rather than ballads. The few slower songs sprinkled in added balance to the act with leader Baekhyun showing his vocal skills with “UN Village,” and member Ten performing a moving dance to his track “Dream in a Dream.”

It seemed that as soon as the show started, the group were saying their goodbyes. It might be due to the fast-paced, immersive performances and lack of breaks due to members tapping out after their specific songs so other members of the group could shine. At the same time, though, the show itself was short, especially for the prices some paid for tickets. With platinum seats at the front of the floor selling at face-value for around $200, a show should not start at 7:15 p.m. and be done by 8:45 p.m. As the lights turned on for the audience to begin leaving, the crowd turned to those around to see if there was going to be an encore or something more. 

Despite its fast pace, the concert provided audience members with well-rounded performances composed of singing, rapping, and dancing. SM Entertainment clearly knew what they were doing by joining these powerhouses together in one group. It was difficult to spot a single flaw in their show. Professionalism met playfulness as the young performers owned the entire stage.

Student Senator talks scholarships

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Features
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Illustration: Reslus / The Peak

By: Jennifer Chou, SFU Student

Have you ever wondered how scholarships are distributed? 

As a student Senator on the Senate Undergraduate Awards Adjudication Committee (SUAAC), I’m here to shed some light on that process. I joined this committee to try to advocate for more accessible scholarships, bursaries, and awards for students. I know that there can be many barriers in applying for financial aid, so I wanted to make the process a little easier.

The term you apply in matters

First, I’ll start by saying that scholarship applications are determined each term. This means that the term you apply for a scholarship on go.sfu.ca  may change your chances of getting it, depending on who else applies that term. Kind of like a class that’s curved, it can either screw you over or save your grade (and in this case, your tuition dues). In addition to the variety of scholarship applicants, the scholarships that are available for students to apply to also differs, meaning that the SUAAC reviews many different students each term.

How important is my GPA? 

I also want to clarify any potential misconceptions. Scholarships are different from awards in that scholarships are mainly based on academic achievement and CGPAs, while awards may be based on community engagement and involvement. This means that grades are weighted and considered more heavily than extracurricular involvement for scholarships.

Scholarship applicants need to have a minimum CGPA of 3.50 — however, many applicants have CGPAs well above that. Sometimes, the CGPA and transcript is the only thing we look at.

If you’re wondering about the CGPA requirements for scholarships, let me just tell you there are some really smart, hardworking students at SFU. Before being on the committee, I thought my CGPA was great. After seeing students with 4.0 to 4.25 CGPAs . . . let’s just say I’m more humble now. 

What else factors in? 

Scholarships are donor funded, meaning that the requirements may be very specific. This means that the donors decide many aspects of scholarship requirements. These requirements and restrictions may include things like faculty/program of study or year level. I remember one scholarship required students to have worked in the food service industry. While the Financial Aid and Awards office tries to advocate and share general trends with donors, it is ultimately up to the donors to decide whether to broaden scholarship criteria or not.

Despite the sometimes restrictive criteria, the SUAAC does try to be fair and “spread the wealth,” so to speak. For example, if there was a student eligible for four to five scholarships, and their CGPA was consistently the highest for each one, we would give that student the highest value scholarship they are eligible for and allocate others to those who may have a slightly lower CGPA. An exception to this would be if this lucky student was the only eligible student for a scholarship, especially if that scholarship had very specific criteria. 

In cases where students have the same CGPA, the committee would look at how long the student has maintained a CGPA. This means that a fifth-year student with a 4.0 CGPA may be prioritized over a first-year student with a 4.0 CGPA. This may also apply to transfer students. 

Another thing we keep in mind is previous scholarship recipients. For example, if a student has received a scholarship for many consecutive years, we may consider another student who may not have gotten the scholarship before.

For people who may not be eligible for scholarships, SFU also has a variety of other options such as bursaries, work-study, and job postings. 

Jennifer Chou is the SFSS Board of Director’s Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences representative and a student Senator on the SFU Senate.

Illustration: Reslus / The Peak

All the bunny love from SFU’s Bunny Café

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Features
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Photo: Pexels

By: Kim Regala, Staff Writer

A lengthy and astounding line-up greeted my eye at the bottom of Maggie Benston Centre — which made sense given the news that SFU was hosting a one-day-only Bunny Cafe event. On January 29, the Health & Counselling Student Services had organized this event alongside Rabbitats Rescue Society, a non-profit and volunteer-run charity organization that offers adoption and fostering options for abandoned domesticated bunnies.  Five sessions were throughout the day for students to experience a generous 45 minutes worth of bunny watching, petting, and feeding. Over a dozen rabbits — all abandoned or living in shelters — were able to receive some much-deserved bunny-loving from humans, all while creating a nice stress-free environment for students away from their busy school lives.

Despite showing up early to catch the second session at 11:45 a.m., it wasn’t until the very last session at 2:15 pm when I was finally able to attend the event. Regardless, there was still much anticipation knowing that behind closed doors was a bunny-filled paradise. Prior to beginning the session, one of the event organizers gave a quick briefing to the group, informing us of how to properly behave around the animals. We were told to avoid loud noises as rabbits are highly sensitive to sound — no surprise as they have humongous ears. We were also cautioned to be aware of our steps as the animals may be quick to hop around with no warning, as well as refrain from picking up any of the rabbits. Finally, the organizer instructed that we don’t disturb or pet them if they are resting inside of their houses — these acted as shelters for the creatures, and intruding their spaces would disrupt that sense of security.

The room was dimly lit to set a calming mood, and right away I was greeted by the abundance of bunnies scattered everywhere in various sizes and fur colours. Five rabbit “houses” were situated all around the room, each one housing two to three resting bunnies, as we were informed that it was nearing nap time for them. Those outside, though, clearly still had loads of energy to be played with, which was uplifting considering they had been doing so for hours straight. As attendees were free to roam around, so were the bunnies, as there were no particular barriers or dividers that limited their hopping space.

Each student was provided with a cup of bunny food, and all the bunnies definitely seemed to enjoy the feast of kale and basil practically being shoved into their mouths. While there were some that denied the gesture (possibly due to being extremely full from the earlier sessions), the rest looked particularly energized by the abundance of greenery available to them. It was a charming experience to be surrounded by such gentle animals, as you were able to pet their soft fur while they slowly nibbled leaves off of your hand.

Being able to pet and feed them was definitely the main attraction of the event. However, I found myself spending most of my time just sitting there and feeling completely at ease with the presence of the little creatures surrounding me. As much as it was a safe space for these formerly neglected animals to freely roam around and feel loved by humans, it was clear that the students themselves were reciprocated with similar feelings of calmness and peace. There was a pure sense of enjoyment and ease that filled the room, as I overheard conversations between students who felt relieved from the usual hustles and struggles of a hectic student life. It was a heartening experience for me as I too had this temporary escape from stress-induced days. While one bunny session certainly won’t address all of my problems, it was at least comforting to find a temporary source of relief that was available to us on campus.

I soon found out that all of the bunnies there were up for adoption, including some who had experienced some form of trauma from abandonment and/or neglect. As one of the Rabbitats volunteers walked me through the online application process for adoption, she also informed me that I could foster before fully committing to a lifetime of bunny parenthood. This way, I would be able to test the waters and see if I was a suitable fit to care for the animal. While I didn’t come to the event with the intention of adopting a bunny — nor was I even aware of the possibility walking in — I certainly left with the desire to do exactly that and look for further options to extend my care.

The first ever Bunny Cafe in Vancouver is set to open this coming spring, serving as both a place for people to enjoy the companion of bunnies,  as well as create a space for these creatures that have lost or never received a home. Founding the cafe is Michelle Furbacher, the same owner of Vancouver’s Catfe, which opened back in 2015. At the time, Furbacher teamed up with the BC SPCA in order to cultivate a space for adoptable rescue cats to feel loved and cared for. While this time around, she teamed up with the Rabbitats Rescue Society, the Bunny Cafe will be a similar safe space for these little creatures deserving of love (and more), all the while letting us humans enjoy their warm and soft company.

Literal Hellfire And 6 Other Groundbreaking New Ways To Cook An Egg (NOT Clickbait)

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Humour
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Photo illustration by Hannah Davis. Stock courtesy of iStock.

Written by Hannah Davis, Peak Associate

I was sitting alone in my bedroom when I got a call from an unknown number. 

“What are you thinking about?” asked Gordon Ramsay.

“Eggs, Gordon!” I exclaimed into the phone. “I’m absolutely tormented by the thought of eggs and the fact that I can never cook them!” 

Gordon chuckled kindly, in that way that only Gordon Ramsay can, and he decided to send some hot, eggy knowledge my way. Here are the best ways to cook eggs, as per the advice of a random caller who must, because he told me so, be none other than the famous television chef himself.

ON THE LAWN. Toss a raw egg onto the lawn and wait until nightfall. Your favourite neighbour Steve will come around at night, camping stove in tow, and he will cook the egg up for you. Wake up in the morning to a beautiful breakfast.

Hannah Davis

WHILE READING PASSAGES FROM THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY OUT LOUD. Find your favourite copy of Oscar Wilde’s The Picture of Dorian Gray and read passages of the novel out loud while you cook an egg as you usually would. The result should look almost as though a tiny, evil portrait depicting all of the egg’s sins has appeared on the counter.

WITH ICE. Putting a bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice is very classy, so do the same with your egg. Crack an egg onto a bed of ice in a cold frying pan. This method makes one egg, sunny-side up. 

Hannah Davis

IN FRONT OF A GREEN SCREEN. Cook your egg as you usually would. After that’s all done, lay it on a green screen, so you can edit your egg into some cool stock photos you found online, like this one. 

Photo illustration by Hannah Davis. Stock courtesy of Alamy.

WHILE THE EGG IS FIGHTING BACK. Leave the egg in the fridge for a long time . . . leave it for too long. It will come at you with a knife. 

Hannah Davis

IN OUTER SPACE. Launch an egg into space with that old rocket launcher you have laying around your house. You won’t be able to eat the egg once it’s up there, so find comfort in the fact that the egg is having a great adventure. 

Photo illustration by Hannah Davis.

IN THE FIERY FLAMES OF HELL. Do a demon summoning ritual. A portal will open up and a demon will pop out. 

“Why did you summon me?” the demon will ask.

“I have an egg I would like to cook,” you must explain. 

“I understand,” the demon will say, before bringing you with them into the portal. 

In hell, the demon will do some black magic and turn the egg from this . . . 

Photo illustration by Hannah Davis. Stock courtesy of iStock.

To this!

Photo illustration by Hannah Davis. Stock courtesy of iStock.

Thank the demon for the really yummy fried egg, and ask to go back to your earthly realm. The demon will again prove to be very reasonable and open the portal back up for you to go home. 

Once back in your kitchen, stare at the egg the demon cooked for you. Realize you’ve never been in love until this moment. Start crying because you fell in love, and you’ll probably never see your demon again. Make a single, bland piece of toast, toast that you will neglect to even put some butter on, and nibble on it forlornly. 

But then you’ll hear a gentle knock on your back door. You’ll be surprised because you weren’t expecting anyone. You’ll open the door cautiously, trying not to get your hopes up. It’s Demon. 

“I didn’t think you would ever come back for me,” you murmur hoarsely. Demon takes your hand and looks deep into your soul. 

“Of course I was going to come back for you,” he whispers in your ear. The two of you stare at each other lovingly. You clear your throat.

“Would you like to come in?” you ask.

 “Of course,” Demon replies. You grab Demon by the hand and lead him into the kitchen, where the egg you made together is sitting. 

The two of you start to make out, just before you eat that egg — together.

Senate announces pilot project to turn empty tutorial classrooms into study rooms

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News
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Photo: Kitty Cheung / The Peak

Written by: Paige Riding, News Writer

In a new pilot project starting in April, SFU is planning on making tutorial rooms available as study areas during exams. 

The initiative was announced during the February 3 Senate meeting, after student Senator Colin Fowler asked if SFU could provide additional spaces for students. Currently, designated areas were frequently overcrowded, which influenced the initiative. 

“For many, including those with learning disabilities and attention deficit disorders, such as myself, this often means a difficult choice between struggling to find a place to study on campus, or staying home and getting little to nothing done.”

Assistant Registrar Kris Nordgren then announced that schedules for the availability of study spaces will be posted on SFU’s website prior to April’s exam period. Opened buildings will include: the Academic Quadrangle, Blusson Hall, the Education Building, and West Mall Centre. This initiative involves, amongst others, the Meeting, Event and Conference Services, Campus Public Safety. Further details related to booking procedure will be forthcoming.

“What we have is a tentative plan for the upcoming spring exam period. We will pilot that, see if it works, and see what we can do to make it a consistent offering,” Nordgren said.

In an emailed statement to The Peak, Colin Fowler explained that the W.A.C. Bennett Library only has a 1,500 seat capacity, and that these upcoming tutorial rooms could accommodate many more students on the Burnaby campus. In the future, other underused rooms may also become available for students during exam times.

“I was increasingly frustrated by the inability of both myself and other students to find study spots. I’ve actually attempted to study on the floor of an emergency staircase and one of my friends studied in a bathroom stall simply because there wasn’t anywhere better,” Fowler wrote, explaining why he raised the idea in front of the Senate.

“Something had to change, and I felt that the best way to increase study space was to repurpose rooms SFU already has, that aren’t used for teaching during exam periods.  There would be no construction needed and implementation could be immediate,” Fowler said. Students studying in these rooms would have access to outlets to charge their electronics, as well as whiteboards and/or chalkboards to write notes.

Nordgren explained that SFU Security would be informed that new study spaces would be open once the exam schedule was finalized in the fourth of fifth week of the semester. Nordgren also noted that many other spaces across campus are not being used effectively for study spaces, and that the university is looking at other options as well.

 

SFU students organize silent protest of RCMP at event in Saywell Hall

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News
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SFU students Miri Abel and Iulia Zgreaban protested an RCMP display in Saywell Hall

Written by: Harvin Bhathal, News Writer

Two SFU students, Miri Abel and Iulia Zgreaban, held a silent protest in front of an RCMP display at SFU Burnaby Campus on Thursday, February 6. 

The event, titled “Behind the Badge,” was hosted by SFU’s Criminology Student Association. As stated by a post on SFU Criminology’s Facebook page, the event occurred in Saywell Hall for students to be able to “have a conversation with current members of the #RCMP.” 

According to Abel, they decided to organize the silent protest due to RCMP incursions on traditional Wet’suwet’en territory. The RCMP has  come under criticism for enforcing a court injunction allowing Coastal Gaslink to continue working on a natural gas pipeline that would go through Wet’suwet’en territory. While neither Abel or Zreaban are Indigenous, they expressed sympathy for the Wet’suwet’en and anger about the violation of their rights.

Seeing the RCMP promote themselves after these events angered Abel and Zgreaban, causing the former to organize an impromptu protest. During the protest, they were approached by an RCMP officer, who discussed some of his responsibilities and experiences on the job. 

Zgreaban stated, “We weren’t expecting anyone to talk to us because we were silent protesting. We didn’t want to cause a lot of havoc.” 

Both Abel and Zgreaban noted that the officer stayed neutral on the issue of the Wet’suwet’en territory. However, Abel reported telling the officer, “When you are being neutral in times of oppression, you are indirectly supporting the oppressor.”

One of the officers responded to Abel  that “Someone had to arrest [the Wet’suwet’en people who were protesting]. It was someone’s job to do it.” 

According to Abel, by just doing their job, “these officers were, if only just unknowingly, perpetuating and normalising police violence,” said Abel. “Legality is not a guide for morality.

“If you look at the history of the RCMP and that it was purposely created to remove Indigenous people[s] from their land, If you look at the systemic oppression of Indigenous people, if you look at the injustice and disadvantage Indigenous people face in society, the RCMP and its officers are violating Canadian law.”

In regards to the response from students, Abel and Zgreaban stated that they were met with appreciation in the form of nods and statements in agreeance with them, as well as a student who joined their protest.

“If safety, Indigenous rights, and an entire nation itself is threatened by police violence, then I cannot accept this and excuse it by saying that people were ‘just doing their job,’” said Abel.

Abel concluded by saying that, “I am glad people took the time to read our signs because otherwise, the RCMP had a free platform to portray only one side of their story.”

SFSS Board does not carry motion to conduct a forensic audit on Fall Kickoff 2019

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News
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Photo: Chris Ho / The Peak

Written by: Michelle Gomez, Assistant News Editor

The Board of Directors voted against a motion to authorize Executive Director Sylvia Ceacero to explore options for a forensic audit, an external audit, or a review by an external contractor of Fall Kickoff 2019. 

VP Student Life Jessica Nguyen addressed the Board, stating, “I want to make it clear [ . . . ] I know that my team and myself and everyone who was involved in this project followed due process from start to end [ . . . ] We did not break any bylaws or have any nefarious illegal activities happening, so bring it on.” 

Shina Kaur, VP University Relations, brought up the difference between conducting a forensic audit to determine if there was any negligence in the planning of Fall Kickoff or having a consultant look at what happened and make recommendations on how to improve future events. 

Health Sciences Representative Osob Mohamed noted that “I don’t think anybody thinks that criminal activity actually happened in this case, but the fact is that something that hasn’t happened before with Fall Kickoff must have happened this year to have a deficit that was so unordinary.”

Mohamed concluded that “If we can invest the money now into making sure that this never happens again, this can prevent us from spending $100,000 next year [ . . . ] I think we’ve lost a lot of credibility in this process.”

Ceacero stated: “I am in favour of whatever audit the Board wants for us to take on. I know with 100% certainty that myself and my team [ . . . ] have dotted all the i’s and crossed all the t’s in this process.”

When Ceacero initially came back to the Board with a brief summary following the event, nobody on the SFSS Board requested further information.

“That was not brought up until two months later when Corbett [Gildersleve] brought the presentation to the Board.” 

During the meeting, Ceacero also reiterated her opinion that the SFSS should not throw a Fall Kickoff. She also mentioned that the Board members would be done by mid-April, and by the time an audit is conducted, the Board will not be present to be held accountable. 

Nguyen elaborated on how Fall Kickoff 2019 was a large improvement from previous years with regard to student safety. She noted that while the 2017 Kickoff Concert was financially successful, “It really largely damaged the relationship between the SFSS and SFU, because SFU claims that one [had] 83 casualties.” 

Casualties, as explained by Nguyen, referred to “Unresponsive, unconscious students just on grass around campus.” She emphasized that the most recent concert had zero casualties. 

According to Nguyen, many costs of the 2019 concert went toward student safety, including paying for more security personnel, registered nurses, an ambulance on standby, and a bus to transport students to campus safely. 

“We held a very safe, good event [ . . . ] we built the relationship with SFU. When we had our last wrap-up meeting they were very excited to start planning for the next one, and that was not the case in 2017,” Nguyen concluded. 

VP External Relations Jasdeep Gill said that “At the end of the day, the investments that we made were necessary in order to make sure that this event went off with protecting our students — and you can’t put a price on that.” 

She added “I’m not comfortable with approving this and basically accusing our staff [ . . . ] of doing any wrongdoing because none of that took place.” 

The motion was not carried. 

In the Council meeting the following Wednesday, there was a motion for the Council to submit a request for the Board to conduct an independent forensic audit on the event. 

HoSang stated that Ceacero had met with an independent auditor, and that the Board decided to give Council the opportunity to learn from the auditor about the different options available to them. 

He explained that although the Board did not carry the motion to conduct an audit, they would like to have the auditor come in to discuss the options “With students that have been calling for a forensic audit as well as the Council and the Board so that the request for an audit, regardless of what it is, can be done [ . . . ] with all of your deliberations accounted for.” 

Council decided to postpone the motion until the next meeting. 

Board Shorts: February 5, 2020

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News
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Image: Irene Lo

Written by: Michelle Gomez, Assistant News Editor

Motion carried to resume the practice of listing Board members votes 

At Wednesday’s meeting, the Board passed a motion to rescind a prior motion that discontinued the practice of listing voting records. 

The motion states that it will “resume the practice of listing the positions of directors who have voted against the result of motion and who have abstained from such motion.” 

Health Sciences Representative Osob Mohamed explained in an email to The Peak that while the initial motion involved including the names associated with each vote, the governance committee recommended to the board to instead “list the number of votes as a ratio, without any associated names.” 

“There will be no names / positions that vote in favour / against / abstain, but instead it will be listed as a numerical ratio of how many Board members voted which way,” Mohamed said.  

 

Space allocation motion 

A motion was passed to mandate that the Executive Director and VP Finance discuss the viable space allocation proposal with Rotunda groups, including CJSF, Embark, Students of Caribbean and African Ancestry (SOCA), and Simon Fraser Public Interest Research Group (SFPIRG). The discussion around this topic will be summarized in a separate news story by The Peak. 

 

Fall Kickoff 2019 forensic audit

A motion was brought forward to the Board of Directors to authorize the Executive Director to explore options for a forensic audit on the planning of the Fall Kickoff 2019. The motion was not carried. More information on this topic will be provided in a separate news story by The Peak. 

 

Solidarity with the Wet’suwet’en First Nation

A motion was proposed for the SFSS Board of Directors to call on the Governments of British Columbia and Canada to suspend permits authorizing construction of the Coastal GasLink pipeline, to end attempts of forced removal of Wet’suwet’en First Nations from their territories, and support the advocacy for Indigenous sovereignty on campus. 

“I think it also encompasses a lot of our organizational values, especially regarding supporting Indigenous students and making sure their sovereignty is respected [ . . . ] I am very much in support of this,” said Mohamed. 

The motion was carried, and the society’s statement of solidarity can be found on their website. It reads: “The SFSS call on the BC Government and the Government of Canada to withdraw the RCMP and commence good-faith consultation with the Wet’suwet’en First Nations and cooperate with the Indigenous peoples concerned through their own representative institutions including the hereditary chiefs of the Wet’suwet’en.” 

 

CONFESSIONALS: I LOVE group projects

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Humour
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Illustration of a closed envelope, with the text, “Confessionals”
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang /The Peak

Written by Meera Eragoda, Staff Writer

I’m scrolling through the syllabi of various course offerings and I’m looking for one thing in particular. Finally, I find it in a gender studies course. Those magical words: group project. It’s kismet and I’m sold.

It feels rarer and rarer these days to see group projects being incorporated into courses, and I just don’t understand why. It’s literally such an easy way to get your grade up in a class. Unpopular opinion, I know, but I for one LOVE group projects.

I love that I get to just sit there and look hot. And everyone else in my group gets to just be there to bask in my glow. It’s like combining both schoolwork and charity. I mean, I don’t want to say it’s benevolent of me, but . . . yeah, it is benevolent of me.

Group projects are also great when you have an overwhelmingly busy schedule like I do. Normal projects mean you have to actually schedule time, on your own, to do work. How can I be expected to stick to every work session I commit to when I’m busy deciding whether to filter my latest Instagram fits with Valencia or Sierra? Nobody thinks about how much time goes into influencing my 62 followers. And there’s no one doing it for me. 

People in group projects, though, are so supportive and understanding. They check in so often to ask if I’m OK or if there’s “something going on.” And they check in, like, all the time to see if I’m going to be able to finish my part. It makes me feel really cared about.

Sure, if I’m being honest, sometimes it’s a little too much — a tad too smothering. Like, get off my back, mom. So I guess that’s a slight downside to group projects. But I mean, if I’m feeling overwhelmed with life, I can just say that. I can literally type out a response that says, “Im just rlly overwhelmed w/ life,” and they’ll all swoop into the Google Doc to make sure that the work gets done. 

I think this is a really fair way of doing things. It’s not like anyone else ever has anything going on anyway. And if they do, I mean, what if they just didn’t, and then they could focus on me, instead? 

Plus, I make excellent suggestions about what type of font and what pre-set type of PowerPoint slides to use. A lot of people in group projects don’t seem to get that font and colour make a massive difference. They’re all, “Let’s use Arial or Times New Roman!” and I have to be like, “Let’s focus on something that doesn’t suck! Like Bangers or Syncopate or, you guessed it, Comic Sans MS. :)” They don’t know what font is good for them — or for our grade!

My fave group project memory happened on WhatsApp. I got added to a new group chat, full of people from my class, called “genius idea to create a new chat without the dead weight.” I was confused at first, so I replied “lol what?” I guess no one else had any idea either, because they all replied “wrong chat!” and “I think you meant to post this somewhere else???” 

Look at them all imitating me, I thought triumphantly. Honestly, I’ve never set a better trend than “no idea what’s going on.”

They did keep making digs about some egotistic, disrespectful asshole not pulling their weight. But I never figured out who it was they were even talking about.

Anyway, easy A. I guarantee it.

Your weekly SFU horoscopes: February 17–23

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Humour
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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

Written by Zach Siddiqui, Humour Editor

Aries — March 21–April 19

Read a book this week. You never know when you’ll earn a bonus 1% in class for being able to recite the first 500 words of the Necronomicon.

Taurus — April 20–May 20

Spend your break studying hard. Not hard like the colloquial adverb, but like the abstract concept of “hard.” Maybe if you really understand the cruelty of unyielding steel and the unfriendliness of a concrete floor, you’ll stop being such a cold, hard-hearted snitch. 

Gemini — May 21–June 20

Relax, OK? It’s not about you right now. 

Cancer — June 21–July 22

You just want permission to be weak this week. And you have it. Collapse into bed and dream of a world where Chikorita got the power and attention it deserved as the cutest Johto starter Pokemon.

Leo — July 23–August 22

Your career worries will drown you this week. Swim towards your future by selling your waterlogged lungs on the Australian black market, but not before taking a year to “find yourself” there while working on some derelict farm in the Outback. 

Virgo — August 23–September 22

Your excuses are as fragile as your platonic social contracts this week. Clean your damn house, before your house cleans you.

Libra — September 23–October 22

Aim high this week, in all your projects. You know what they say: “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land in the extraorbital vacuum, where you and your exploded florid red innards will become the next astronomy hoax.”

Scorpio — October 23–November 21

Spend this week hiding somewhere in the darkness. Not sure where to find the darkness? Try season 2 onward of any show run by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa — I mean, seriously, what on earth have they been telling their lighting team?

Sagittarius — November 22–December 21

Practice saying things like “I’m sorry” and “I was wrong” this week. Subconsciously, you have started to notice that lies are the only way to mediate conflicts among your friends. Well, lies and strange parties in Maple Ridge (and there are always strange parties in Maple Ridge).

Capricorn — December 22–January 19

Buy a bunch of worthless luxuries this week. The church will forgive your excesses. After all, the eighth Catholic virtue is corporate brainwashing.

Aquarius — January 20–February 18

You need more attention this week. Build all kinds of amazing new social media accounts; let a fresh Instagram offer you a new identity myth. Then, once reading week ends, abandon them all until you forget the passwords forever.

Pisces — February 19–March 20

Destruction will approach you this week. Flare your nostrils as a scare tactic. Nobody, not even the Grim Reaper, is coming near that.

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024