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Among Us is amongst the most relatable games for SFU students

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ILLUSTRATION: Johanna Jucutan / The Peak

By: Kyla Dowling, SFU Student

If online school taught me anything (not that I’m too sure it has) it’s how to be antisocial and how to procrastinate. What better way to utilize both these life skills than with Among Us, the game that promises betrayal following useless tasks — just like my English class breakout groups always making me present our pissweak arguments to the class. 

Sure, there may be some differences between exhausted students on Zoom and headless Teletubbies (or maybe not), but group projects hit differently when you’re on a virtual spaceship. Yeah, there’s still that one person who doesn’t do any work — in this case, the impostor — and yeah, instead of just slacking off they might try to kill you. But doesn’t having to write their entire portion of the assignment feel like being killed, anyway? 

Plus, in Among Us, you pull a me after one (1) date and turn into a ghost — only, like, your character actually dies in the game. Big difference. You can’t tell me that you’ve never wanted to haunt the person who cost you that 80% in the group project because they dropped the course the day before it was due. 

Among Us preps you for your online discussion boards — you know, the ones you read two pages of the 40-page reading for, pray for a Sparknotes summary of, and end up calling your semi-related comment a masterpiece that you found off someone’s old public Prezi? Next time you play a round, simply type out these words: “I think red is sus.” In their search for those coveted participation marks, everyone will agree with you even though they have no clue what’s going on. If you want to spice it up a bit, swap out red for blue. This will create the kind of spirited, in-depth analysis that your TA has wet dreams about. 

Have a midterm coming up? Are you not emotionally prepared to show the entirety of your living space — complete with questionable tissues on your bedside table that are strictly from nightly crying sessions — to the poor invigilator who has to watch you snotty sob for two straight hours? Boot up your game of Among Us and go straight to electrical. While you struggle with simple tasks (as you always have), some monster (red, I swear it’s red, red is sus) will stab you in the back so viciously that your little flamingo hat falls off your head . . . as does your actual head. If you continue to recreate those feelings of depression and shame following your failure to tap things in sync, you will soon be able to accept your failures when tapping the right answer for Canvas quizzes.

When in doubt, open the game again. Succumb to the powers that be and allow your fellow crewmates to launch you into the darkness of space for suggesting that blue vented. It’s better that way. 

Just watch out for red. Red is sus.

Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty: the perfect book for anyone who’s felt small, broke, or kind of dirty

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Arts
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Cover of Shafi's book. Courtesy of book*hug press

By: Meera Eragoda, Arts & Culture Editor

Though the world is currently on fire, both literally and figuratively, writer and illustrator Hana Shafi’s newly released book, Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty: Affirmations for the Real World, is a soothing, reassuring, and empowering spray of water. Bonus, it’s a fairly short and digestible read and is filled with Shafi’s illustrations.

True to its name, this book is very affirming, providing assurances for anyone who has ever felt out of place in this patriarchal, colonial, and capitalist world. The book is broken up into five chapters on kindness, bodies, politics, self-love and healing, and resilience and mental health. Shafi notes that it is not a self help book. Instead, it’s a detailing of her own experience with these topics as a millennial Muslim immigrant to Canada — something I appreciated as a racialized millennial immigrant myself.

Shafi recounts stories, such as the time she was at camp and had a panic attack causing both a friend of hers and a classmate that she didn’t really know to break rules and run through a forest to get a camp counsellor. Another story she tells is about how a lost pair of underwear cemented an elementary school friendship which then transformed into a life-long friendship. 

These stories, whether funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing, aim to make the reader feel less alone. 

These stories are followed by reflections that examine how Shafi’s personal experiences and those of people around her are formed and informed. In one reflection, she explores her relationship with weight and body image, chronicling what it feels like to gain weight in a society that privileges people who are thin. Shafi explains how she worked through these harmful beliefs to realize that someone’s weight has no bearing on their value.

As noted in many places, Shafi’s writing and art are hugely feminist and critique things such as body politics, racism, ableism and more. Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty is a very entertaining, engaging, and accessible way of thinking about topics such as vulnerability, friendship, and finding value and comfort in your body.

One of Shafi’s many illustrations which pepper messages of worthiness and value throughout the book. Courtesy of book*hug press
Courtesy of book*hug press

To aid the reader with this, Shafi’s personal experience and reflections on society are interspersed with illustrations either of cute critters such as otters, frogs, and opossums or of Shafi’s friends accompanied by empowering messages.

There are messages that state “boys are allowed to cry, boys are allowed to feel, boys are allowed to be sensitive,” “you are allowed to get excited about the simplest of things,” and “all bodies are good bodies.”

This book is compelling because it seeks to provide readers with a little bit of joy while acknowledging that the world is still real and often hard to deal with. Shafi never focuses these affirmations on toxic positivity, instead choosing to root them in resilience. Reading this book is like trying to make sense of your place in the world through a conversation with a very supportive friend.

Shafi’s Instagram @frizzkidart is filled with her illustrations and Small, Broke, and Kind of Dirty is available through Book*hug press.

A fevered conversation between a student and professor at 2:37 a.m.

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Humour
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PHOTO: Gery Wibowo / Unsplash

By: Paige Riding, Humour Editor

11:42 p.m.

hi Dr Gawner,

my name is Lindsay Haugh. i am in your psyc 388 class. I will be honest, I started the paper due tonight a few hours ago and i do not think I have it in me to finish another 7 paragraphs. I am so tired. this is a long shot, but is there any way i could get it to you tomorrow afternoon

SIncerely,

Lindsay

11:45 p.m.

Hello Lindsay,

I am sorry to hear how tired you are. I am also tired. We are all tired. So tired.

Normally, I would not have even seen this email until the time you requested for your extension, tomorrow afternoon, but given the circumstances and our class being fully asynchronous, I don’t really need to worry about sleep patterns and whatnot. 

Yes, the class is actually on Biological Rhythms and Sleep, and yes, I am fully aware of the hazards placed on the body when one’s circadian rhythms are thrown off, but here I am.

Anyway, I will give you until tomorrow afternoon to hand in your paper. Please take care of yourself.

Best,

Dr. Gawner

12:04 a.m.

thank u so much Dr. Gawner for the extension thankyou so much Dr Gawner for the extension

i didn’t think you would be awake to respond i don’t get the part about the supra nucleus thing or whatever but i will google it if u are to tired its ok i dont get any of this!!!

Lindsay

1:20 a.m.

Hi Lindsay,

Sorry I took so long responding. My cat decided that this was the ample opportunity to vomit on the carpet on our stairs. Why is it always the one carpeted area of the house? Why?

If you’re speaking about the suprachiasmatic nucleus, that was the topic of last week’s discussion post and not this week’s paper. I would love to tell you its function, but my crappy SCN clearly isn’t doing a whole lot for me right now. There’s something cruel and ironic about a class on biological clocks leading to my poor sleep schedule. Or maybe it’s the existential dread streaming from climate change being practically irreversible and wondering what the point of learning psychology is when all that we currently know will become obsolete in a few decades anyway. Well, regardless.

Cheers,

Dr. Gawner

2:37 a.m. 

my cat does that too i dont know about psychology becoming obsolete but wait the paper is not about that? what is it about

Lindsay

2:41 a.m.

Hello Lindsay,

What are any of these papers really about, in the long run? Why do I assign these things to you all? I call myself a naturalist; all these apparent scientific advancements really must be critiqued. Are they advancements? Are we certain about this? 

Take a look at cigarettes. We once believed they were harmless and charming, something to hold between our grubby little fingers in clubs while we filled our lungs with smoke that kills us. What we know now, is it knowledge? Are we human, or are we scientists?

Dr. Gawner

3:01 a.m.

i do not smoke but can u tell me what the paper is on please

Lindsay

3:01 a.m.

**AUTOMATED RESPONSE**

This email is on Do Not Disturb. Message from Gmail user:

I have decided to quit my role as a professor at Simon Fraser University. Go find your frivolous psychology “facts” elsewhere. I’m done lying to myself.

— Dr. Heesa Gawner

Monday Music: Songs to wake you up before your dreaded work shift

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Arts
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"Monday Music" in giant yellow block letters with a red background
Monday Music: your weekly themed playlist. Image courtesy of The Peak.

By: Alyssa Victorino, SFU Student

Getting in the right headspace before the mind-numbing task of serving extra hot, half-sweet caramel macchiatos with added pumps of this and that can be challenging when you’re already in a bit of a funk. With the incessant gloom of the pandemic, an extra pick-me-up seems almost essential nowadays. So, turn the volume up, keep your head held high, and get inspired by these songs as you serve those drinks vibrantly, baby. 

“Monte Carlo” — Remi Wolf 

Courtesy of Remi Wolf, under exclusive license to Island Records

This song has been finding its way into every one of my playlists since I heard it on Spotify’s Lorem last summer. Remi Wolf, an up-and-coming artist from LA, classifies her music as “funky soul pop” and I cannot get enough of it. This playful jam is an ode to the distant sunny memory of carefree pre-COVID partying, making it an alarm that you won’t want to turn off. Bottom line, good luck not bopping to this one in the back room.

 

“Woodlawn” — Aminé 

Courtesy of Republic Records

Playing the lowly flute in my high school band, I felt seen when I heard its undeniable airy sound intertwined with the beats of this track. Not only does the flow demand movement from your body, the song’s subject matter is a cause for celebration. “Woodlawn” is a nod to the rapper’s humble roots in Portland, Oregon, the song standing as a refreshing testament to staying grounded when your reality is far from what it once was. It will definitely break you out of your trance as you stare blankly at the clock waiting for your shift to start, keeping you not only awake, but energized as well. 

 

“THUG LIFE” — BROCKHAMPTON

Courtesy of Question Everything, Inc

The greatness of the album iridescence still keeps me up at night to this day. Filled with polarizing and staggering transitions, “THUG LIFE” is one of the more mellow alternative hip-hop tracks from this record — however, its lyrics are anything but. The beauty of this song is that it effortlessly juxtaposes the desolation of depression with a lighthearted and reassuring melody. With the world feeling more fragile than ever, the song serves as a reminder that the good and the bad exist in tandem, and that it is possible to find a reason to dance despite having a job that may not entice you to do so. 

 

“I Knew” — Lizzy McAlpine

Courtesy of Elizabeth McAlpine

OK, here me out. I know this slow folk-pop-esque number is unconventional for this list, but it’s the type of song that feels so good to sing your heart out to. About halfway, there’s a sweet, elusive moment where the violin line melds onto Lizzy’s ethereal harmonies like honey. If you’re a harmony enthusiast like me, that passage will be enough to wake you up. Though its message of unrequited love is incredibly heart-wrenching, the tune will give you a sense of catharsis, serving as a gracious sponge that soaks in any lethargic vibes you might be possessing. 

Now, go conquer your duties while feeling a little more awake, friend. 

More songs that emulate the effects of caffeine 

“Mango” — Peach Tree Rascals
“Good Game” — Dominic Fike
“Bubblin” — Anderson .Paak
“Worth It” — beabadoobee
“The Weekend” — Funk Wav Remix, SZA

Digital Democracies Institute receives grant to combat fake news

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News
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ILLUSTRATION: @visuals / Unsplash

Written by: Karissa Ketter, News Writer

Led by SFU Communication professor Dr. Wendy Chun, the Digital Democracy Institute received the Canadian Foundation for Innovation grant to research misinformation in the media and improve media regulation. 

Beyond Verification: Authenticity and the Spread of Misinformation is a collaboration with Goodly Labs and the Infoscape Lab at Ryerson University along with the Digital Democracies Institute at SFU. 

In an interview with The Peak, Amy Harris, the Communications & Research Coordinator of the Digital Democracies Institute noted that the project aims to explore “how authenticity is created” in news and social media. 

Harris explained that inauthentic information, known as fake news, can have extremely negative implications on society. She noted that in recent months, fake news has interfered with COVID-19, particularly “how [misinformation] can spread conspiracy theories” and “[undermine] institutions that really should be relied upon,” such as medical officials. Fake news also has the ability to “impact election results [and] undermine trust in media sources and in politicians.”

Harris reported that they are “still in the early stages” of their project that currently has a timeline of 3–5 years. Once their research is complete, they’re planning to create legislation to “promote authentic views and try and combat the misinformation” in media. Details on their policy plans aim to be solidified in the coming years, according to Harris. 

As stated by Digital Democracies, they “integrate research [ . . . ] to address questions of equality and social justice in order to combat the proliferation of online ‘echo chambers,’ abusive language, discriminatory algorithms, and mis/disinformation.” Echo chambers are created when people subscribe to a single and repeated perspective in the media, which allows misinformation or fake news to be confirmed by multiple sources, unchallenged by a new perspective. The project declares that “fake news threatens democracy in Canada and globally.” 

Another research stream within The Digital Democracies Institute is the From Hate to Agonism project. It looks at how society uses conflict “not to foster hate and hate speech” but to use conflict as a vehicle for “debates and democratic dialogue” within media platforms. Through this project, the Digital Democracies Institute maintains that “conflict is a part of democratic dialogue.”

The institute in its entirety is a “group of diverse scholars and stakeholders from around the world.” Their main lab resides at the SFU Burnaby mountain campus in the School of Communication. 

My Duo: the Duolingo Owl Horror Story

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Humour
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PHOTO: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak

By: Emma Jean, Staff Writer

It was just after 10 o’clock. I’d finally submitted my essay on Canvas, and my burning eyes demanded I close my laptop for the night. Instead, of course, I unlocked my phone. Amongst emails, notifications, and texts, there my relentless frenemy was: Duo, the green Duolingo owl. 

Usually, the notification reminds me to take daily French lessons. Every day, I swiped them away. Pas maintenant, monsieur. My grade 10-level French wasn’t getting any better. I didn’t need an owl to remind me of this. 

Tonight, the notification was different. 

“These reminders don’t seem to be working. We’ll stop sending them for now.” Thank God. I stared outside at the darkness then rubbed my eyes. When I opened them, I yelped at what I saw staring at me through the window.

Massive and enshrouded in darkness, except for a pair of bright, crazed eyes, was the slime-green language king himself. 

“Salut, mon élève,” he shouted. “Or do you not know what that means, you stupid bitch?” Smashing the window pane with his talons, he stepped into my room. 

I needed to atone, and fast. “Duo, I’m so sorry—” 

“ENOUGH!” he yelled. “I try every day to teach you this precious second language. You’re the one who wants a governmental job, not me.” He shook his head, pulling from under his wing a bottle of Orangina, the French soda. He untwisted the cap and downed it in one go. “Non, I just came here to teach you a lesson and drink Orangina.” With a swing, Duo smashed the bottle on the countertop, creating a glass dagger. 

“And I’m all out of Orangina.” 

Duo lunged forward and I scurried back, looking around for an exit. 

“There must be something I can do,” I begged. He screeched and waved the glass shard in my face, feathers flying across the room with every swipe. 

“Well, you could’ve parlez-vous’ed en Français, but here we are.” 

I ran towards the door, but Duo stepped in front. 

“I know French, though,” I insisted. “I took it in school!” At this, Duo stopped and narrowed his eyes. 

“Prove it.” Merde. I couldn’t possibly. 

“En Français, tell me I deserve better students and you’re a disappointment to the French language,” He said, pushing the side of the makeshift blade against my collarbone. 

I swallowed, trying to remember what my old nemesis Madame Windsor had drilled into my mind. 

“DO IT!” Duo screamed. 

“Okay, okay! Hang on.” I took a deep breath. “Tu—” 

“‘TU’? What am I, a school chum? Give me a ‘vous’.” 

“Okay, fine! Vous—” Shit. I had no idea how to conjugate. “Vous sommes? WAIT NO—” I ducked as Duo whipped the bottle at my head. “Vous être! Vous être!” 

The owl stepped back and put a wing to his forehead, shuddering. “Mon Dieu, you really don’t care about French, do you?” With glass shards everywhere and sweat dripping from his clumped feathers, he seemed shaken. 

“I do! That’s why I take your lessons!” He looked up. 

“Really?” 

“Yes,” I straightened my shoulders. “That’s why I won’t skip a single day from now on.” 

Locking eyes, he stared. “Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

He looked at his watch. “Well, that only took 10 minutes. Pretty good!” He waltzed towards the window. “Only 238 more to terrorize tonight. They aren’t going to motivate themselves!” Dumbfounded, I tried to object but couldn’t. “Adios! Wait, damn it . . . Salut!” Just like that, his green wings carried him into the night. 

When you hear my impeccable French, know it isn’t out of dedication or love. It’s out of stone-cold fear. And it could happen to you, too.

Five galleries to help you escape the upcoming rain

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Arts
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The Polygon Gallery’s Third Realm exhibition features work such as Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s Ghost Teen, 2009. Courtesy of Polygon Gallery

By: Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer

* All galleries on this list have free admission, except The Polygon which is by donation until the end of 2020

Chinese Canadian Museum

Located at the heart of Vancouver’s Chinatown, the Chinese Canadian Museum is displaying a temporary exhibition called A Seat at the Table. The exhibition looks at the historical stories of Chinese-Canadian immigrants in BC, struggles with integration and belonging, and how restaurant culture has helped expand and diversify immigrant communities. The exhibition takes place in the Hon Hsing Building and includes multimedia forms of presenting stories. If you’re interested in an interactive experience, complete with story panels, videos, and audio clips, you may want to make a reservation (at least 24 hours in advance) on their website.

The Polygon

Unmissable at the Lonsdale Quay in North Vancouver, The Polygon is offering a temporary exhibition, as well as their regular ongoing displays. On until November 8, Third Realm by Davide Quadrio is a contemporary art showcase that “offers critical insights into the sociopolitical shifts occurring during the 2000s when Asia’s economic prosperity began to command global attention.” The exhibition explores a period of artistic production in Asia (2004–19) through photography, film, and installation. If you find yourself doing some window shopping at the Lonsdale Quay Market, The Polygon makes for an excellent addition to your day.

Surrey Art Gallery

The Surrey Art Gallery is currently displaying a couple different indoor exhibitions. Where We Have Been (available until December 13) is a collection of works from various artists and looks at “the interconnection between place and identity in the South of Fraser region, through selections from the Surrey Art Gallery’s permanent collection.” The exhibition has been put together with a selection from the Surrey Art Gallery’s permanent collection. 

Searching for Surrey is on until December 13 and is by artists James Lash, Sheri Lynn Seitz, and Dan Tell. The exhibition is a presentation of several well-known landmarks in Surrey, through the artistic vision of the artists. As described on the Surrey Art Gallery website, “Each artist lends their own style, vision, and technique to their preferred subject matter [ . . . ] together, their works capture some of Surrey’s enormous architectural, historical, and natural diversity.” 

The Contemporary Art Gallery

This gallery in downtown Vancouver is currently showing a few different exhibitions. On until January 3, Grass Drama by Julian Yi-Jong Hou, is a performance accompanied by hanging patterned fabrics with incorporated sound, spoken word, drawing, and sculpting. Grass Drama takes aspects of the artist’s diasporic childhood memories, while bringing forward a multi-sensory experience for viewers. 

While this exhibition actually takes place off-site at the Yaletown-Roundhouse Station, Memorial for the lost pages is also available until January 3. By Madiha Aijaz, the exhibition displays videos and photographs of the artist residing in Canada for the first time. Aijaz’s pieces navigate struggles with “language and identity, longing and loss, public space and colonial legacies through a visual language rooted in both the mundane and the quietly theatrical.”

Available online and at the Contemporary Art Gallery until the end of 2020, In this space, is a showcase by Arts Umbrella’s Visual Art Summer Intensive — by youth artists aged 15 to 19. The works are a collective response to the COVID-19 pandemic, where the artists’ final projects “reflect on the familiar environments — physical and otherwise — we often take for granted.”

Burnaby Art Gallery

Open for exhibition viewing by appointment, the Burnaby Art Gallery is offering one in-person exhibition. By Ellen van Eijnsbergen and Jennifer Cane, Reading Art “explores text-based and literary works of art on paper.” The exhibition features several well-known conceptual works from the late 20th century, including classics like Dante’s Divine Comedy, Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights, and Marcel Proust’s Swann in Love. Reading Art takes from both the gallery’s permanent collection and works provided on loan. It is available to the public until January 17.

W.A.C. Bennett Library and Lorne Davies Complex expand in-person services

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PHOTO: Gudrun Wai-Gunnarsson / The Peak

Written by: Mahdi Dialden, News Writer

SFU Burnaby has expanded select services to open under certain protocols and restrictions for the rest of the Fall 2020 semester.

Only the main floor of the W.A.C. Bennett Library is open for use Monday through Friday between 1 p.m. and 5 p.m. Along with the library itself, students will have access to library equipment, such as computers, scanners, and seating space. 

The library is only open to current SFU students and will be required to show their SFU ID upon entrance. Students must follow social distancing protocols, are recommended to wear a mask, and must use the hand sanitizer at the entrance.

There will not be any in-person services at the library. If a student wishes to rent a book they may request it on the SFU Library Catalogue — with the option of a contactless pick-up or digital delivery. There is also the  option to speak to a librarian online, for any questions that arise. 

SFU Athletics & Recreation have also recently announced the reopening of the Lorne Davies Complex with access restricted to the swimming pool and fitness centre. Facilities may be used by SFU students, staff, and faculty, and requires registration before arrival.

Drop-in services will not be available, and anyone registering for use is limited to a one-time slot per facility, per day. There is a three-strike policy if someone who is registered doesn’t show up to their scheduled slot. Anyone registered may cancel their booking 30 minutes prior to their scheduled time. 

Upon arrival to the facility, students will be required to show their SFU ID and will be asked COVID-19 screening questions, such as whether they have symptoms and travelling details. They will also have their temperature taken, and social distancing is still in effect where possible. Masks are recommended when entering and leaving, and users are asked to have their workout clothes on upon arrival since the change rooms are closed. 

For more information regarding the library and athletic facilities, visit their respective websites.

What lies beyond the mysterious AQ ice cream machines?

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Humour
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PHOTO: Amy Shamblen / Unsplash

By: Zedd Strangelove, SFU Student

There I was on a rare sunny fall day — socks up to my knees, Chucks on my feet, and a moustache thick enough to make Tom Selleck question his masculinity. My shorts were especially short, my tank top tucked into the waistband. The craving for old frostbitten ice cream hit me, filling my lactose intolerant heart with dreadful desire.

With Yung Gravy and bbno$’s “Welcome to Chilis” pumping, I strutted over to the local AQ snack station, my whiskers wet in freezer-burning anticipation. After a solid five minutes of rummaging through my fanny pack for change, I finally fished out $2.75, the exact amount to purchase the coveted Klondike ice cream sandwich. It’s the freakin’ gold rush, baby. Until . . .

Suddenly, disaster struck when the machine ate my change and left me standing there like a chump. Well, I wasn’t gonna have any of it. I did what any 2007 Peewee hockey champion would when faced with adversity. I threw the biggest hip check I could muster into that son of a bitch. To my own surprise, the machine opened right up. 

It seemed like the vending machine was a door that led into a narrow passageway. Doing what any smart character in a horror movie would do, I slunk down the passage just to see where it went. I eventually got to an elevator covered in drawings of ice cream cones. I was totally stoked. I thought I had found SFU’s secret ice cream vault — after all, if I had a bunch of students paying me thousands a semester, the first thing I’d do is make an ice cream vault. 

The elevator dinged as the doors opened. I expected ice cream as far as the eye could see. Instead, I got endless sausage. 

I was greeted by a colony of nudists, bodies splattered head to toe with ice cream. They moved pretty quickly as they swarmed me, picking me up over their heads and carrying me further into their subterranean lair, all while chanting the names of their gods: Ben, Jerry, and The Great Sundae in the Sky.

I was made to be their king, and as such I gifted them all the French Rap music I had on my phone. They explained their theology to me; we all live to serve the Great Sundae in the Sky and its sons, Ben and Jerry. In death, they told me of how the best of us are chosen to be toppings for the Great Sundae in the Sky, and how I was to be the next sacrifice. It was a great honour.

After several sticky happy-ending massages, I was ready. These are to be my last recorded words, as somehow the crap SFU WiFi is stronger down here. So long, my friends.

Student accidentally failing class they didn’t even know they were enrolled in

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Humour
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PHOTO: Ahmed Ali / The Peak

By: Devana Petrovic, Staff Writer

SFU student and film major, Khan Fuzon, recently came forward with a complaint to SFU administration regarding a course mix-up. According to Fuzon, after the university accidentally enrolled several students in PSYC 241, he, against all odds, remained enrolled in the course after the situation appeared cleared up. 

“I don’t know, dawg. I’ve been going to this class since the semester started. It was on my schedule and all, so obviously I went. I guess it just didn’t occur to me that abnormal psychology has nothing to do with film,” Fuzon said in an interview with The Peak.

Fuzon explained how the incident was fuelled by his gradual fall into existential dread after the transition to online learning in the spring. He also noted that the online versions of his courses had merely become automatic figments in his day-to-day life, unrecognizable as assets to his search for knowledge. He would probably have remained in the course for the rest of the semester if he had not received an email from a confused TA. 

“Hi Khan,” the TA’s email began. “I’ve noticed that you haven’t handed in any assignments this semester, just an astonishingly in-depth analysis of Shrek 2. I want to remind you that this is a psychology course and am also wondering if you are going to continue in the course, considering your current grade?”

The student attended both the lectures and tutorials for the course, but has been so mindlessly uninvested that he never picked up on the course’s vastly different content. He added that the professor played a video clip in the first lecture, so he didn’t think much of it. 

“I dunno, both classes were talking about gatekeepers. I was used to Tarantino apologists in my major. What’s the difference between a guy liking feet and a guy who thinks everyone wants to fuck their mom or whatever?”

He wasn’t surprised to discover he was enrolled in a class he didn’t sign up for, since “nothing is surprising anymore, especially at SFU.” 

“Nothing matters anymore,” the fourth-year student sulked. “At this point, I’ll attend any lecture as long as I just get the cardboard pizza box in the mail with my diploma in it.” 

When asked about the hundreds of Canvas emails others mistakenly enrolled in the course sent, Fuzon said, “Yeah haha, I don’t check that shit anymore.” He said he only happened to check his email after using his SFU email for a free trial of a sketchy streaming website when he stumbled upon the notifications from the course. 

“The worst part is that SFU charged me in tuition fees for the course,” complained Fuzon, “and I’m failing pretty harcore.” 

The film major complained to SFU about the enrollment accident, explaining that he “straight-up didn’t notice” the extra course on his Canvas homepage. After spending several hours emailing his complaint and not receiving a response of any sort, Fuzon has simply accepted the course failure, saying that “it is what it is.”

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024