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No Normal: We need to stop calling people weird as an insult

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hand holding a fidget spinner
Everyone is different, but we're taught to hide it. PHOTO: charlesdeluvio / Unsplash

By: Olivia Visser, Opinions Editor

Growing up, there was one insult that I remember receiving often: weirdo. Being called weird might not strike everyone as the most insidious remark, but it’s a term that alienates groups for not fitting into the social standard we know as normality.

There’s no such thing as normal, and I couldn’t agree more. Everyone’s got something that differentiates them from the rest, yet somehow we’re still taught to suppress our individuality. If you were ever told to just “be yourself” growing up, you probably realized that’s easier said than done. When tactics like shame and humiliation are still commonly used by teachers to manage students, it’s no wonder young people are so preoccupied with the idea of fitting in.

As an undiagnosed autistic child, I was frowned upon by peers for missing a lot of social cues. Making silly noises, being hyper, and talking about the same thing repetitively were behaviours I showcased frequently. At some point, I became aware of the fact that most of my classmates were laughing at me, not with me. I was labelled as weird and this label came with stigma. Faced with the choice of pretending to be someone else or shutting myself in, I picked the latter.

Conformity is a coming of age phenomenon that affects many school aged kids, but it continues into adulthood. I assume this is why so many people poke fun at “weird” individuals: because they themselves want to conform or feel they have to. We see people make fun of adults for “childish” interests or less common mannerisms. People who avoid eye contact, fidget, or have speech impediments, are judged as “difficult” or odd. In reality, these people may be neurodivergent, shy, or just different. No matter how you look at it, calling people “weird” as an insult is harmful. It suggests that upholding the status quo trumps individuality and self-expression. This mentality is why so many neurodivergent people have years of unlearning to do when it comes to accepting their differences.

Society’s current age of social media encourages conformity. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for people to be themselves without worrying about the judgmental eyes of their peers. What was once a clique of bullies in elementary school is now anonymous faces on an app with millions of users, and this isn’t without consequences. One analysis of 16 studies found a strong correlation between the amount of time spent on social media and symptoms of depression. Social media might not be inherently harmful, but our cultural obsession with upholding a perfect image is.

There’s nothing wrong with being different. Framing inevitable differences as character flaws is harmful to everybody, because I truly believe there is no such thing as “normal.” Those who single out other people’s differences are probably dealing with some internalized conflict themselves. Nobody is normal, so is anyone really weird?

Social Upgrade: Vancouver’s social culture desperately needs a revamp

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vancouver cityscape at night
Diversifying our social options helps everyone. PHOTO: Victor Tran / The Peak

By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer

We need to change the way we socialize in Vancouver. Vancouver’s social scene isn’t approachable for many people, and no one should be excluded from the fun just because they want to partake in a more relaxed way.

Not everyone wants to spend their entire night at a club or bar, but if you want to go somewhere else after 9:00 p.m., you’re out of luck as everywhere else is closed. People have no choice but to choose the least grimey club on Granville Street to grab a drink at, and spend the rest of their night elbowing their way to the bar. This might be appealing to some, but it’s known to be a pain for those who aren’t into that type of social scene. Spaces like clubs and bars are usually uncomfortable and unsafe environments for non-drinkers, disabled folk, women, people of colour, or queer and trans folk who experience harassment in these settings.

Many casual hangouts in Seoul are open late or 24/7, and you can find a variety of options from karaoke rooms, to night markets. Attractions like these are a relaxed way to spend the evening without relying on alcohol for your fun. There are also lots of restaurants, services, shops, and public bathhouses in Seoul that are open till late, and the city is bursting with people walking around — creating a safer environment.

In Vancouver, cafés tend to close early — like 5:00 p.m. or earlier. In Europe, though, cafés are open at later hours and provide an alternative to late-night socializing. Vancouver doesn’t have anything quite like the places found in many European cities, but there are a couple spots in the city that are a bit more innovative in the way that they invite people to socialize. The Keefer Yard in Chinatown is one example — they provide table service and mini golf.

What is it about Vancouver that inspires such a hardcore party culture? Is it the city’s design, or our cultural lack of interest in other modes of socializing? What about catching up with a friend over coffee after work, or casual late-night food? I’ve asked so many people these questions and not a single one of them has given me an answer, but the consensus seems to be that Vancouver just needs to do better.

Especially during COVID-19, all these things make being social in Vancouver very difficult, and often unenjoyable. Going to clubs, bars, and busy restaurants don’t allow for casual modes of socialization, which deters people from going out in the first place. This also fuels Vancouver’s “No Fun City” reputation. This type of socializing does appeal to some Vancouverites, but not all. Vancouver needs to seriously reassess its social culture and the way people are encouraged to come together.

Len Pierre delivers seminar calling for Indigenous cultural safety in higher education

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The photo is of the SFU Burnaby campus. The Academic Quadrangle and the reflection pond can be seen.
Pierre noted education systems are inherently colonial. PHOTO: Allyson Klassen / The Peak

By: Chloë Arneson, News Writer

On June 20, in honour of National Indigenous Peoples month, SFU Vancouver hosted a virtual seminar to discuss the importance of implementing Indigenous cultural safety in higher education. The Decolonizing Education and Institutionalising Indigenous Cultural Safety workshop was hosted by Len Pierre, who is Coast Salish, and a TEDx speaker.

His presentation acknowledged many of the institutions he works with are eager to race through the process of decolonization without acknowledging the need for cultural safety. Institutions “need to be culturally safer before we get to the places of decolonial work. If we don’t uncover where we can embed cultural safety first, we run the risk of a misinformed work population and the work will ultimately become superficial,” Pierre said. 

Cultural safety involves trauma-informed, community-driven engagement that creates more ethical ways for institutions to engage with Indigenous people and communities by prioritizing Indigenous peoples’ needs. Pierre noted, “Cultural safety is an outcome based on a respectful engagement that recognizes and strives to address power imbalances inherent in western systems [ . . . ] It results in an environment free of racism and discrimination where people feel safe when receiving services.”

According to Pierre, the process of decolonization involves more than the acknowledgement and removal of active harm caused to Indigenous communities. He added Indigenous values and belief systems have the potential to mitigate the social and environmental harms caused by the impacts of colonial systems. “We have a lot to offer,” Pierre said.

The event was open to all SFU staff and faculty, who were encouraged to share their views on the subject matter as well as their personal experiences with Indigenous cultural safety in the workplace. Participants also had the opportunity to talk with one another in breakout rooms, where some discussed the cultural safety improvements they were hoping to see at SFU.

Pierre said the way education systems inherently uphold colonial systems. “We cannot talk about decolonizing the academy or Indigenous cultural safety and humility without talking about colonialism,” he said. 

Pierre cautioned against the belief that anti-Indigenous racism is a result of a series of isolated events, noting that “we socialized Canadian citizens into being anti-Indigenous.” Pierre explained the root cause of anti-Indigenous sentiments in Canada were the racist narratives delivered in public schools when residential schools were actively operating.

The Canadian government has outlined their plan for responding to the Truth and Reconciliation Commission’s calls to action surrounding education for reconciliation. This includes calling upon governments to “provide the necessary funding to post-secondary institutions to educate teachers on how to integrate Indigenous knowledge and teaching methods into classrooms.” Out of the 94 calls to action, 13 are complete, with around 60 in progress. 

To end the session, Pierre encouraged participants to apply the concepts presented in their lives. He suggested actions such as taking implicit association testing, learning about local land and territories, and implementing Indigenous-focused equity strategies. Addressing many of the participants who hope to improve their allyship and Indigenous advocacy, Pierre said, “We can blow it out of the park if we want to, and we should where the opportunity aligns and our ethics are aligned, and Indigenous people are involved.”

To learn more about cultural safety education, Len Pierre’s TEDx talks are available on the TEDx website.

The Inside Scoop

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Arts
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Drawing of a character eating a slice of pie with numbers in it.
It’s all fun and games until the football and wrestling questions get asked. ILLUSTRATION: Maple Sukontasukkul / The Peak

By: Isabella Urbani, Sports Editor

Q1: What does the term “and one” apply to in basketball?

  1. Extra time added to the game
  2. What the referee says when a player makes a three
  3. When a player gets fouled in the act of shooting, makes the basket, and gets to shoot their awarded foul shot (100% answered correctly)
  4. What the coach says when they want to make a substitution in the game

Answer: C 

Q2: If a cross country runner said they got a PB in their race, what did they do?

  1. They were disqualified from the race
  2. They failed to finish the race
  3. They recorded their best time in that race category (100% answered correctly)
  4. They beat the record held in that race category

Answer: C 

Q3: In football, how long does the quarterback have on the clock to throw the ball?

  1. 30 seconds  (40%)
  2. 25 seconds (40% answered correctly)
  3. 15 seconds 
  4. 45 seconds (20%)

Answer: B 

Q4: Which two sports have offside rules?

  1. Softball and hockey
  2. Soccer and golf
  3. Lacrosse and tennis 
  4. Hockey and soccer (100% answered correctly) 

Answer: D 

Q5: You just made a bogey, what did you do?

  1. Hit one shot extra than what was expected for the hole (80% answered correctly)
  2. Hit one shot less than what was expected for the hole (20%)
  3. You decided to use one free skip to pass over the hole
  4. You hit the ball too many times for the hole and received a penalty

Answer: A 

Q6: How many balls does the pitcher need to throw in softball to walk a player?

  1. Four (60% answered correctly)
  2. Three (40%)
  3. One
  4. Two

Answer: A 

Q7: If a swimmer has a negative split in their race, they . . . 

  1. Finished the race with the fastest time
  2. Finished slower than their average time
  3. Made an error in the pool which added a five-second penalty to their finished time
  4. Finished the race faster in the second half than the first (100% answered correctly)

Answer: D

Q8: A changeover just occurred in a track race, what happened?

  1. The baton was passed (60% answered correctly)
  2. A runner switched lanes
  3. A new runner moved into first place (40%)
  4. The race is in its last 100 m

Answer: A 

Q9: What is the term in wrestling (which acts like the mercy rule) called?

  1. Full count (40%)
  2. Technical fall (40% answered correctly) 
  3. Deuce
  4. Pinfall (20%)

Answer: B 

Volleyball’s average score: 6.8 / 9 points (75.5%) (B)

Fundamental Rights: Freedom from religion is just as important as freedom of religion

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candlelit prayer
We need to value freedom and reject imposition. Rodolfo Clix / Pexels

By: Cristina Liao, SFU Student
Edited by: Luke Faulks

The overturning of Roe v. Wade is a seismic shift. People around the world have protested this decision as an encroachment against bodily autonomy. It’s a decision that only makes sense if viewed through a Chrisitan lens. The end of Roe is a warning to western democracies: freedom from religion is just as important as freedom of religion.

The decision is wrong because it takes the religious beliefs of just six people and applies them to a country of over 325 million people. The Court, a political body that’s 78% Catholic, should have no right to impose its dogma on a country that’s just 21% Catholic.

The same religious mismatch applies to Congress. Pew Research Centre found that the legislature has “always been overwhelmingly Christian” while only about 20–32% of Americans feel it is important for a president to have “strong religious belief.” A religious Congress that passes its laws onto a population is unfair to whose who don’t practise Christianity.

Just as it’s important to have freedom from religion, it is also important to have the freedom to practise one’s religion that differs from a majority. Now that Roe v. Wade has officially been overturned, some Americans are having trouble seeing the space for their beliefs in the Court’s ruling. Everyone has the right to practice any religion. However, being Christian, Catholic, Muslim, or of any other religious persuasion does not in any way excuse discriminatory policymaking.

Politicians cannot hide behind the words “Christian values” to excuse their actions. In part because it’s deeply undemocratic, and in part, because those same politicians would rebel against different faiths legislating according to their own beliefs. The imposition of Islamic Sharia in western countries is generally a canard, but has generated pushback against immigrants from Muslim-majority countries.

Religious policymaking isn’t just happening in the US. In 2018, Québec legislator François Legault articulated a desire to prevent provincial employees from wearing religious symbols. Where this supposedly secular law comes undone is in Legault’s insistence that the cross transcends religiosity, and therefore cannot be banned alongside the religious items of other faiths. Flashing forward to 2021, and Québec’s top court chose to uphold most of the law. It’s another example of a religious few, in this case, Catholics, imposing religious order on the whole of a citizenry.

As the ACLU states, “The First Amendment to the US Constitution says that everyone in the United States has the right to practice his or her own religion, or no religion at all.” Politicians can be Christian, even openly Christian. Regardless of their faith, they should not be creating laws based on a religion that a large proportion of the population they’re influencing do not practice.

In a free and democratic society, citizens should be free to practise any religion of their choosing. However, it’s important that citizens have freedom from religious demagoguery. We need the freedom to marry the people we want to in flagrant violation of religious teaching. We need the freedom to criticise religious projects when they abuse the rights of others. We need freedom from religion.

Exercising Agency: Quiet quitting is a sign we need to address workplace inequality

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A red and white sign that says for hire
Our cost of living is rising much faster than our wages. Clem Onojeghuo / Unsplash

By: Olivia Visser, Opinions Editor

Recently, news companies and political commentators have latched onto the idea of “quiet quitting” — the practice of only putting in the minimum amount of work required for a job. This can involve avoiding working extra hours or tasks that aren’t in a job description. In every case, quiet quitting highlights the collective burnout experienced by minimum wage workers. Instead of seeing this trend as a symptom of a larger problem with capitalism’s current conditions, conservatives are using it as a scapegoat to uphold toxic work culture mentalities.

What critics call quiet quitting is simply workers setting boundaries that should already exist. The fact that people solely following their job description gets its own defamatory title is a sign something is seriously wrong with North America’s capitalistic work culture. We’re currently living through a crisis of increasing productivity alongside decreasing wages. Our work culture is unsustainable, which is why so many Canadians are working two jobs, or simply checking out emotionally. I can’t blame them.

In order to understand why quiet quitting isn’t just “slacking off,” we need to examine what makes people want to do so in the first place. People working minimum wage jobs are tired of being overworked for wages that don’t cover their basic necessities. Since housing and rental prices are rising much faster than wages, the working class is starting to feel helpless about their material well-being. Minimum wage workers make up 8.8% of our labour force, and they account for a large portion of essential workers. Why should they put maximum effort into jobs with corporations that don’t respect them or their right to a living wage?

People have been asking for a $15 minimum wage for years, but we’re past that point. The average house in Vancouver is now $1.2 million, compared to $180,000 in 1981. Adjusted to match today’s dollar, that equals $486,652. Our wages aren’t catching up to the rising cost of living, as seen by the fact that a third of the province is renting their home. Corporations get away with underpaying workers because of the outdated belief that low paying jobs are unskilled labour, typically since they require different skill sets than jobs in trades or academia. This mentality undermines the colossal impact that underpaid essential workers have on our economy, as highlighted by the COVID-19 pandemic.

There’s no such thing as unskilled labour, just different labour. The problematic myth of unskilled labour allows companies to deem certain jobs as “minimum wage” jobs, and take advantage of employees who already have limited work options. Students and immigrants make up most low paying jobs in Canada due to access barriers.

Society is watching the consequences of late-stage capitalism unravel in front of us. Somehow, we still just can’t make ourselves care enough. Our government needs to swiftly enact living wage legislation and enforce stronger regulations for workplace conditions. Employees should also understand their rights and continue unionizing wherever possible. Labour unions have the ability to stabilize economies and protect fair working conditions through employee-funded mutual aid. It’s time things actually change before class disparities continue to rise, and buying basic necessities becomes impossible.

Monday Music: Songs to cure fall semester blues

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EIC
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“Monday Music” in orange block text on a yellow rectangular background with rounded corners and an orange border.
Monday Music: your weekly themed playlist. Image courtesy of The Peak.

By: Hannah Kazemi, Staff Writer

As yet another summer comes to a close, it’s normal if you’re feeling down about starting school again this fall. The weather gets cooler, mornings start earlier, and the overall cheerful disposition of summertime begins to fade. Below are four songs that are sure to boost your mood.

PHOTO: Artisa Records

“Velcro” by spill tab (feat. Gus Dapperton)

I’ve listened to this song on repeat during my drive up the mountain to SFU countless times with all the windows down and the volume turned all the way up. spill tab is a French-Korean artist whose music, in both French and English, always makes me want to dance and sing my heart out. “Velcro” has a funky electric guitar-heavy bridge that has definitely almost blown the speakers in my car before.

PHOTO: Warner Music France

“Jolie nana” by Aya Nakamura

The vibes are off the chart with this song. Even if you don’t speak French, “Jolie nana” is super fun and easy to listen to. Its chill and laid back vibe makes it a great song to put on when you wake up in the morning and start your day. When I listened to this song for the first time, I couldn’t help but start to dance. Aya Nakamura’s voice is perfection — it’s so smooth you can hear the emotion behind it. 

PHOTO: Polyvinyl Record Co.

“Red Wine” by Grapetooth

This song is a bit more chill and smooth, but really fun and a great mood-booster. It gives me big “I’m on a boat in Greece” vibes, which is great when you really don’t want to go back to school. With a steady rhythm, softer vocals, and some upbeat instrumentals to kick it off, “Red Wine” is the perfect song to put on for your bus ride up the mountain. It’s impossible not to want to vibe to it. 

PHOTO: Sony Music Entertainment

“JAMBO” by Takagi & Ketra, OMI, and Giusy Ferreri

This is the best song to listen to when you’re feeling kind of down about things, because it is an instant mood-booster. I can’t stop my shoulders and hips from moving when I listen to this song. It’s part of the Afrobeat genre and has both English and Italian lyrics — you can feel the fun vibes radiating from it. Best played post-lecture and pre-study session, “JAMBO” is sure to make you want to dance.

Arrieta Art Studio opens in New Westminster

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PHOTO: Amirul Anirban / The Peak

By: Nercya Kalino, Staff Writer and Gem Yelin Lee, Copy Editor

Arrieta Art Studio celebrated the grand opening of their New Westminster brick-and-mortar space on September 3. Located on historic Front Street, home to some of the locals’ favourite coffee shops, the studio welcomes you in with a colourful mural by Mishel Arrieta herself: the owner and manager of the studio.

The day before the grand opening event, The Peak interviewed Arrieta to learn more about the studio.

“For the grand opening, I wanted to build off what I already do, which is giving this — the studio — to the artists,” said Arrieta. “I’m trying to get all the things I want the studio to be and put it all in one day.” 

The grand opening featured artist Caleb O’Brien, poet Naaz Sidhu, and Astra Not. To incorporate an engaging art project at the event, visitors were encouraged to paint collaboratively on a large shared canvas. This canvas now resides in the teaching space in the studio, continually revised with leftover paint from the workshops.

Arrieta is the co-curator of the annual pop-up art show in New Westminster called APT POP. One of the first things you see when you walk in is a wall fixture for APT POP where the featured solo exhibitions are displayed, along with a lounge area and the artists’ merchandise for sale. 

Over the past several years, APT POP grew beyond the scope of where it started in co-curator Ben Pilger’s apartment. Each year, Arrieta and Pilger found themselves scrambling to temporarily find or rent a space that would fulfill the project’s needs. Being an artist and educator herself, Arrieta had been searching for a new personal studio space since leaving her old one. Armed with a passionate vision, Arrieta took the lead in searching for a permanent art space. 

Arrieta hoped to reopen her studio and find space for art exhibitions and other creative projects. She found a versatile space in a great location; one that would be able to serve her personal studio needs like teaching art and become the new home base of APT POP.

This was just the beginning of a new chapter for the artist — owning a business in a new location meant a new stream of ideas and new responsibilities.

She explained an important goal for the grand opening celebration was to build connections within the local community. Up to this point, she had mostly taught art one-on-one to children with disabilities and worked alone in her own studio. Through connecting more with the locals of New Westminster, she’s seeing the arts services and opportunities needed by the community and treading new ground — from working in her own bubble to working with all sorts of groups in the community.

“Now I am branching out and I am finding that there are so many groups of people who want to learn art,” said Arrieta. “Sometimes they want it to be in their own group; for example, there are some people who are retired and would like to have an only-retirees group, there’s some others who want to have a mom and baby [group]. 

“There’s a lot of requests, and I think there’s a lot of need.” 

She said a growing pain from this transition was finding a balance between fulfilling community needs, and what she personally wants for the space. 

In addition to fulfilling some of these specific community requests, she plans to have ongoing events such as hosting workshops, solo artist exhibitions, and artist talks. 

PHOTO: Amirul Anirban / The Peak

The warm and eclectic front area which highlights artists and their work, extends into the back, where there is a fairly unexpectedly large space — perfect to hold workshops, teach classes, and hold group events. The large open room in the back will be where the annual APT POP exhibition will take place.

“People come in and ask if I am new, which I am, but I feel like I have been here for so long,” she said.  

September 8 marked two months since the studio’s soft opening, but the space is already the physical representation of Arrieta’s commitment to community and art. 

To learn more about Arrieta Art Studios, shop from local artists, or to sign up for a class, visit them in-person at 707 Front Street, New Westminster or online through their website. 

Study finds frequent breaks are necessary for well-being

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News
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The photo is of a person sitting in front of their computer. Their head is in their hands and they look tired and stressed.
Social media as form of a work break is not found to be productive. PHOTO: Jonadan Cheun / The Peak

By: Pranjali J Mann, News Writer

SFU Beedie School of Business professor Zhanna Lyubykh led a recently published study on the importance of taking breaks from work to increase performance. 

According to the abstract, the research reviewed 83 existing empirical studies pertaining to the “relationship between work breaks and well-being and performance among knowledge workers.” The paper also highlights different categories of work breaks and how they affect the performance of workers differently. They categorized five features of work breaks which includes the initiator, duration of break time, frequency of breaks, activities done during the break, and experience.

To find out more about the research and its implications for students, The Peak interviewed Lyubykh. 

Explaining the motivation behind undertaking the study, she said, “We know on an intuitive level that breaks are good for well-being. But what about performance?” Lyubukh noted some people might hesitate to take breaks because they are time consuming. However, they are an important opportunity for mental recovery. The study revealed breaks are essential to maintain performance. 

Lyubykh noted the majority of the existing studies found a positive correlation between worker breaks and well-being. According to her, this was because taking breaks lowered levels of emotional exhaustion and depression.

Lyubykh’s interview touched on a specific kind of work break — social media. She found it is the most common form of break, used by 97% of people at work. 

“What we see in the data is that social media may have some beneficial effects in the short run, but in the long run it can really harm people’s productivity,” she said. “I would generally suggest taking other types of breaks, especially given how much time we spend on the screen. For example, we’ve seen that engaging in things that are different from your work — exercising, enjoying nature, having a short walk — are usually more beneficial than browsing social media.” 

Additionally, their study found taking unstructured breaks was found to be more beneficial, especially in the case of students. From an organization point of view, Lyubykh mentioned having rigid time slots for a break can be counter productive. Instead she recommended making time for breaks throughout the day, but not scheduling in a strict break time “because breaks are more beneficial when people can choose when they engage in those activities as well as the type of activity they engage in.”

For students, she said it’s important to prioritize breaks, especially when you are most busy. She underlined skipping breaks makes things worse and advised to keep an eye out for the mental indicators of fatigue. 

Horoscopes Sept 12–20

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Humour
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An illustration of a girl with long flowing hair. Astrological signs and stars shine around her.
ILLUSTRATION: Marissa Ouyang / The Peak

By: Max Lorette, Peak Associate and the vessel of an unknowable entity

Aries:

This week, I think you should branch out a little. Go for a walk in nature, collect some sticks off the ground, and join your brethren amongst the forest. I’m not quite sure what this will accomplish, but it feels like a nice September activity regardless.

Taurus:

The Stars have given me a warning for you this week, Taurus. They have informed me constant remarks of “Can you believe it’s September already?” and, “2022 is almost over! It feels like it just started!” will not halt the constant crawl of time passing. They do little but upset the gods of time. Let the passing of days and weeks become a steady stream, lest you invoke the wrath of Kronos.

Gemini:

The Stars have informed me that this week is a perfect time to treat yourself, Gemini! If you’ve been looking for an excuse to finally replace that beat up pair of sneakers you’ve been wearing for several years, this is it. Just don’t blame the Stars for your declining finances.

Cancer:

Listen, I’m just going to say this once. Now that Halloween is approaching, the Stars recommended you avoid making Spooky Season your entire personality for an entire month. The Stars think that you’re a lot better than reusable coffee cups from Wal-mart and Michael’s with silly spooky slogans.

Leo:

Unless you’re up on residence, you probably have a pretty long transit, Leo. The Stars recognize this as a universal experience for all SFU students, but they have specifically told you to put that precious time to use. Take up listening to audiobooks while you drive or ride the skytrain. Did you know most libraries offer them for free? The Stars suggest that you start off with The Necronomicon!

Virgo:

The Stars have a very special task for you this week, Virgo. Listen to me very carefully. In the dead of night, bring a singular black coffee (preferably from Renaissance) to the Avocado in the AQ. Circle the avocado clockwise thrice, then leave the coffee in front of the mirror. Chant, “You are SFU!” thrice before circling the avocado once more, counterclockwise. The Stars won’t tell me exactly what the reward for this will be, only that it shall be grand.

Libra:

The Stars have instructed me to inform you that no amount of fancy stationery shall give you the aura of productivity. Unfortunately, there really isn’t a cheat sheet for that kind of thing. The best thing that you can do is actually study for that upcoming quiz you probably forgot about.

Scorpio:

This week, the Stars are withholding your horoscope unless you are willing to undergo a quest for knowledge. The Stars have long been waiting for a brave student to seek out the forbidden knowledge that has long since evaded them: What actually goes on in the Halpern Centre? Has anyone actually ever stopped to ask that? Wake up sheeple!

Sagittarius:

Times are tough, Sagittarius. The Stars totally recognize that. In this economy, the Stars don’t think that you can really afford to have a freeloader anymore. If you’re struggling on finances, it might be time for you to tell your cat to get a job. Maybe they can pick up a shift at the Catfé? If you don’t have a cat, then tough luck I guess.

Capricorn:

It may be a bit soon, but the Stars have informed me to tell you straight up to stop avoiding taking classes that fulfill your breadth credits. No, seriously. The longer you put those off the worse it’ll be.

Aquarius:

The Stars advise you to take a few days off of social media. It’s seriously becoming a cesspool of terrible takes, and the Stars are concerned that you’re turning into someone who is chronically online. Touch some grass, Aquarius.

Pisces:

The Stars wish to remind you that you can actually get paid for writing for The Peak. Seriously! It’s a good opportunity, it’s easy to sign up for pitch emails, and take up prompts when it strikes your fancy. Who knows! Maybe you can even take up writing the Horoscopes with me! It pays well to become a mouthpiece for dark and unknowable entities dubbed as “the Stars.”

 

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society