By Mad Men
Bar Room Anecdote takes Disturbing Twist
By Gary Lim
Senior Tavern Correspondent
VANCOUVER (B.C.) – Onlookers watched in stunned silence as what began as a jovial bar room anecdote by one Steven Miller, 22, took off on a strange dark tangent last Thursday night.
Long-time server at Abernethy’s Pub and Grill, Sharleen Halcord told The Peak that Miller had been a long time patron of the establishment. “He was a real good customer. Every Thursday night he and his friends would be in that corner booth.”
But the usual party-hardy atmosphere of the pub was shattered when an anecdote by Miller took a dark and jarring twist. Second year UBC law student Tanvir Singh was there, here is his chilling first-hand account.
“I was sitting at the table next to them waiting for my boys to show up, they were laughing, drinking, and basically bro-ing the fuck down. They were that kind of drunk where you talk shit, but are still sober enough to be somewhat coherent. Man, you should’ve heard what they were going off about. ‘What deadly animal would you replace an arm with’, ‘Which famous historical figure would you most likely punch in the face?’, ‘Given that our individual consciousnesses are part of the universe, then what does it mean that we are the universe experiencing itself?’
“But then the conversation somehow turned to the topic of summer break and then camping. So they’re swapping camping stories when that one guy [Miller] who had been relatively quiet up to that point decides to start talking.
At first I was only half listening, he was talking about going camping with his family. Then he started talking about ‘the compound’ and the leader the ‘Great and powerful Dave’. From his tone they probably thought he was joking. Then he started chanting.
‘Blessed be to the Great Dave, he who hath brought tamed the lightning in sky and leashed it to the fence of barb-ed wire to protect us from the outsiders.’
‘Blessed be to the Great Dave who hath provided us with the nourishing gruel to grow strong, but not too strong. Blessed be to the Great Da-’ and so on.”
And he just kept going, he was obviously pretty passionate about the whole thing because at this point he was at a near-shout. The bar was dead silent now. A couple of people laughed to try break the tension and he just glared them down.”
The RCMP are still looking for David Shamborski, alias “The Great Dave”, any information on his whereabouts that leads to his capture could fetch a reward of up to $10,000.
Stuff We Hate
Stuff We Hate: Parking
When I first enrolled at SFU was excited to get my U-Pass so I wouldn’t have to drive downtown and park. There would be no more circling blocks looking for a spot, no more fumbling for change, and no more pretending that the homeless guy was a speed bump.
That was over four years ago. Apparently my dumb brain used those four years to convince itself that driving downtown was somehow “convenient”. Well guess what. Just like the situation with dead cops in Gotham City, things are worse than ever. There are parking meters that are in effect until 10:00 p.m.! If I have to wait until 10:00 p.m.to park my car for free then I’m already going to be pretty drunk. Then I’m going to end up getting arrested for drunk driving, and that’s obviously some kind of trick.
What do you want, City of Vancouver? Do you want a couple more hours of parking fees or do you want me to be sober behind the wheel. Ball’s in your court, Gregor.
By Colin Sharp
Stuff We Hate: Silent E
No I’m not talking about notorious underground rapper Silent E nor am I talking about that new rave drug exclusively for mimes.
I’m talking about the English language writing convention of putting the letter ‘E’ at the end of a word to change the preceding vowel sound from short-form to long-form. That shit just rubs me the wrong way. I mean just the other day, I was making a grilled cheese with my new frying pan, in walks Silent E (drunk, as usual), all of a sudden I’m holding a frying pane and my sandwich is gone.
Don’t even get me started on what that asshole did when I lent him my van for a weekend.
By Gary Lim
Stuff We Hate:Caesars
All Caesars are bullshit. Unless triggering vomit is considered a good thing, then the salad is terrible. The cocktail is powerfully awful.
I was once served a Caesar garnished with a crisp piece of bacon instead of celery. Somehow this Caesar actually had the ability to make the bacon kind of gross. Let that sink in. It made bacon gross. Even Little Caesars Pizza is a mistake. Isn’t it a bad omen that even though the company name includes the word pizza, the slogan is still “Pizza! Pizza!”? Is it that hard to convince people that this food can be classified as pizza?
I get that people like all of them, and everyone is allowed to like shitty things. Just don’t try and convince me otherwise. All Caesars suck. Well . . . Julius Caesar wasn’t too bad, except for that stupid haircut. What is that style called again? Oh yeah. A Caesar. I rest my case.
By Marcus Junius Brutus the Younger
Word On The Street: New Year’s Resolutions
Q: What New Year’s Resolutions have you made to make sure 2012 is the best year ever?
“I’m going to finish that calendar of mine. I’ve been putting that off for WAY too long now.”
—Axotl Muzencab , Ancient Mayan
“Calendars are mass mind control. Another way the guv’ment keeps us running in our neat little tracks, man”
—Gregory Barnett, Man in tin foil hat
“Finally going to figure out what ‘Auld Lang Syne means. That’s been bothering me all year'”
—Arnie Odsteff, Pigeon Enthusiast
“It’s a bit early for that, isn’t it? New Year’s isn’t even for another two weeks.”
—The Chinese, People from China
“By god I’ll be less guillible this year!”
—Father Bernard, Local Priest
Awesomesauce
By Ben Nay at Awesomesauce
PSSU surveys political science undergrads
Results show general satisfaction, but frustration with course availability
The SFU Political Science Student Union (PSSU) has been working towards a survey initiative that would improve the representation of their student body.
As many students do not attend PSSU meetings, the society undertook an independent survey to gauge where representation is required. While the survey results will not necessarily change the department, gaining the input of the student body is an important step towards possible future changes, said Andrew Keech, the PSSU’s communications representative. “The survey is not intended to produce . . . anything more than an illustrative sample of the overall satisfaction of our peers with the program as they’ve experienced it.” Information collected by the union from the student population creates constructive data, which can then be used to advocate change in the faculty.
The survey also is hoped to increase the reputation of the union among the student body. “Legitimacy of the union’s representation has apparently been an issue in the past, so conducting [a] broad survey of opinion solves a lot of those problems for us and raises the profile of the organization in the department’s student body,” Keech stated.
Hindrances and interruptions were commonplace in getting the survey project off the ground. In its early stages, work required to put the initiative in motion had been done sporadically. Previous PSSU executives contributed to the project, but for various reasons there was successive turnover of responsibilities. Now finally nearing completion, the preliminary results are varied, said Keech. Most students are happy with their experience as a political science student, but the survey also showed that many students had difficulty in fulfilling the writing requirement due to a lack of course availability. As well, most students felt as though the political science courses were either “centre” or “left” on the political spectrum. About 50 percent of participants expressed an interest in going on to a master’s program, while the other half were only interested in getting a bachelor’s degree.
The bulk of the data was gathered in-class. Keech estimates that over 750 responses have entered the survey tally with more still in process. Those eligible to participate in the survey consist of students enrolled in political science undergraduate programs, including all honours, major, and minor students. Efforts have been made to collect data from distance-ed students within the political science department, so far unsuccessfully.
When asked whether the Society of Arts and Social Sciences (SASS) would be creating a similar survey for other student departments, Estefania Duran, current PSSU president and SASS VP of communications, suggested that the “DSU’s [departmental student unions] get involved rather than SASS alone, especially because SASS represents 28 programs and departments so it might be more complicated.” She offered that “[The PSSU] did think however that it might be a good idea to help any DSU interested in doing something similar.”
SFSS officially out of the CFS
By David Dyck
After three years of conflict, and over $450,000 in legal fees, the Simon Fraser Student Society (SFSS) has officially left the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS). The issue goes back to 2008, when 67 per cent of SFU students voted to leave the CFS. The CFS, which is the largest student organization in Canada, contested the referendum’s legitimacy, and a series of legal disputes has financially mired the SFSS ever since.
Although a court date had been set for February 12, 2012, for a lengthy and expensive trial that was expected to last approximately six weeks, the dispute was settled out of court in late December. Both parties released a short statement that described the settlement as “amicable”. It further stated that neither party would make any public statements regarding the settlement. There was no mention made of the amount of the settlement.
B.C. Supreme Court judge Richard Blair, in an official court document released in August 2010, explained that he was unable to reach a conclusion about the case at that time, citing an overwhelming amount of evidence. Blair advised that either a second referendum be conducted, or that the dispute should be settled out of court, as either option would be more financially feasible than going to trial in February.
Late last year, the SFSS board argued that the society was running a projected deficit as a result of the pending lawsuit, for which funds had to be set aside in the event the case was lost. The loss of the trial could have resulted in a payout of approximately $1.5 million in unpaid membership fees to the CFS, not including legal fees.
The dispute began as a result of a 2008 referendum question, which the CFS claimed was not done in accordance with CFS bylaws, since it was performed by an SFSS-appointed Independent Electoral Commission, and not the CFS-mandated electoral commission. The referendum, therefore, was not considered by the CFS to be legally binding, and for the SFSS to accept it breached their contract.
J.J. McCullough, chief electoral officer for the Independent Electoral Commission that was appointed by the SFSS, oversaw the 2008 referendum. In an interview with The Peak, he stated that he was still unsure if legal separation was the best route for the union to take, financially. “If you hate the CFS to a really intense degree, you still have to be able to look at these things from [the perspective of] a cost/benefit analysis,” said McCullough. “The question is: how much more than half a million have we paid on this whole battle? . . . I think you can only really judge student politics in terms of the short term, and on the terms of how much student fees are being extracted from students right now to pay for some myopic political feud. That’s the kind of thing that concerns me.” McCullough did admit that, were the numbers in favour of the SFSS, settling would probably be the right choice.
Although the amount of the settlement has not been disclosed, the total amount spent by the SFSS on legal fees from the beginning of the dispute until November 2011 was $454,149.
“I’m glad that it’s over,” said former SFSS president Ali Godson. Godson’s term was from 2010 to 2011, but she served in other capacities in the SFSS for several years prior. Godson ran for, and won, the position of university relations officer in 2008, with a pro-CFS platform. She told The Peak that there was no mention of a settlement during her time on the board. She pointed out that most of the current board, with the exception of Internal Relations Officer Jordan Kohn, were not a part of the original CFS dispute in 2008.
The CFS has been engaged in several other lawsuits with student unions across Canada, including the University of Victoria Students’ Society.
Correction: This article originally stated that the CFS would have been owed approximately $430,000 if the case had been lost. That amount is actually closer to $1.5 million. Furthermore, the CFS has resolved their dispute with the University of Victoria Students’ Society. The Peak apologizes for any confusion this may have caused.
Former SFU chancellor Milton Wong dies at 72
By Graham Cook
Philanthropist remembered for extensive contributions to community
On December 31, 2011, SFU chancellor emeritus Milton Wong, founder of financial management company M.K. Wong and Associates, succumbed to pancreatic cancer at the age of 72. Wong grew up in Chinatown, and went on to become a pillar of his community, including SFU. He was a supporter of the expansion of the downtown campuses, First Nations programming, and the SFU School for the Contemporary Arts.
Various leaders from around the province expressed their condolences including Premier Christy Clark and Vancouver mayor Gregor Robertson.
SFU resident Andrew Petter made a statement in his EnVision SFU blog that Wong “leaves an extraordinary imprint on Simon Fraser University” and that “his boundless intellectual energy and passion for social justice propelled many significant initiatives and a variety of programs.”
Chancellor Wong has been described as a businessman and a philanthropist for donating funds to groups such as the B.C. Cancer Foundation and the Salvation Army. In addition, he was one of the founders of the Vancouver annual Dragon Boat Festival, and over his lifetime he was awarded numerous accolades including the Order of Canada in 1997 and the Freedom of the City award last summer.
When once asked to reflect on what mark he will leave on SFU, Wong stated that more noteworthy was how SFU affected him.
Movie review: Carnage
Simplicity and minimalism allows viewers to focus on the interactions between characters instead
Roman Polanski’s Carnage is based off of Yasmina Reza’s French play, Le Dieu du Carnarge. The adaptation’s basic plot remains more or less identical to the play: two couples meet to discuss an incident between their two respective children, one of whom physically assaulted the other at a public park.
While the pretext of their meeting is to reconcile the incident in a civil fashion, the four parents gradually slip into a war of attrition far more complex than that of their children. The narrative is simple and includes a few lowbrow gags including projectile vomiting, but the characters slowly breach moral discussions that give the production philosophical substance.
The beauty of Carnage is that the entire film takes place in a single apartment. The single set and limited four-member cast allows the film to achieve a kind of succinct and efficient density that is not often seen in North American cinemas. Post-WWII North American culture has maintained a ‘more is better’ mentality, and this mentality eked its way into post-war epic film productions including Cecil B. Demille’s Ten Commandments (1956), Kubrick’s Spartacus (1960), and Don Chaffrey’s later Jason and the Argonauts (1963).
Today, Hollywood’s veritable smorgasbord of sprawling visual splendor persists with the likes of Tarsem Singh, Peter Jackson, et al. So, in the midst of all our cinematic bells and whistles, Carnage works as a cinematic haiku — and it’s refreshing.
That being said, I have not seen Reza’s play or any of the English translations, but word on the street is that those who have seen the play are generally not in favour of Polanski’s film. The play may very well be better than the film, but there’s an even bigger truth at work here: whenever you say any approximation of, “The play/book/original is better than the film”, you sound like a dick. Even if you begin your sentence with, “Now, I’m not trying to sound like a dick”, you still sound like a dick.
Reza’s play won’t be performed at the Vancouver Playhouse ‘til this coming April, so until then, don’t be a dick. Just watch it.
