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Listless: Dishes way, way, worse than shark fin soup that haven’t been banned yet

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If you’ve had your ear to the ground over the last few weeks, you might have heard of the recent shark fin soup debate; with some calling for a city-wide ban and others arguing it is a culturally important dish to the Asian community.

Now when it comes to hot button issues like this, we  at The Peak are committed to bringing you, the latest, most up-to-date utterly irrelevant information. So we present for your reading pleasure:

Dishes way, way, worse than shark fin soup that haven’t been banned yet

  • Unicorn Nuts
  •  Dolphin Fin Soup
  • To’furkey (Tortured Frozen Turkey)
  •  Scottish Terriamisu
  •  Kids in a Blanket
  • Mice Krispy Squares
  • Turt-illa chips with Sal-salamanders
  • Turkduckostrichagiuinowlhummingo (Served in a hollowed out eagle)

 

List compiled by the Peak Editorial Staff

 

 

Catfield: The Lunchtime Caper

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By Gary Lim

Horses raptured!

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Pictured: Seabreeze, one of the left behind, struggles to deal with an existential crisis following the horse rapture last Sunday.

By Gary Lim

The strange and long held to be impossible happened last Sunday, when approximately 14 million of the domestic and wild horses on the planet Earth were apparently raptured into the heavens above.

It began Sept. 23, 2012 2:45 a.m. EST, that was when the skies across the world suddenly lit up with the luminousity of a thousand stars and across the continents millions of horses began their skyward ascension to spend the rest of eternity in heaven with God. Bathed in the iridiscent light of the heavens, and accompanied by a choral whinnying of the pegasi, the full rapturing lasted just under five hours.

Noted equine eschatologist Miriam Cunningham spoke with The Peak, glad that someone was actually talking to her. “The coming of the end of horse days has been predicted time and again by the great horse philosophers, leaders and clergy of history. But no matter what math or reasoning they applied to it, they could never get the number of foot stamps quite right.”

“In the end it’s ironic that it turns out to be such a bolt from the blue. One can only imagine what comes next; I would imagine there would be some form of tribulation period for the stallions, mares and foals left behind. This’ll typically be a period of time for them to repent before the coming of horse apocalypse, the end of horse days. ”

Cunningham spoke further on these “left behind,” referring to the approximate 8,000 horses that had failed to rapture and were left behind to deal with the world after.  Presumably these were the horses left to their fate on Earth after failing to accept the love of the horse messiah into their massive eight-pound hearts.

But while the theological implications of this rapture are astonishing in their own right, critics are already coming out of the woodwork against the government for its failure to prepare for such a scenario.

Local political pundit and radio talk show host Kenneth Cole calls the government’s failure to make preparations “unacceptable.” On his Monday show, he said, “Look, if you know there’s a chance that all the horses on Earth will be raptured into the sky, you plan for that. You make contingencies. What you don’t do is sit on your hands until the day of, and then when it finally does happen, you beg the public for some ‘understanding of extraordinary circumstances’ while you sort it all out. It’s unprofessional and sloppy. ”

Meanwhile, on the ground level, civic engineers are already dealing with the repercussions of the horse rapture.  The Peak spoke to Moshe Ovitz, a general foreman at one of the hundreds of reconstruction sites across the province about the damage caused by the event.

“Granted that average horse can consume between 20 and 50 pounds of silage a day, and that a lot of these horses were unfamiliar or even downright terrified having never experienced the sensation of flying before — lets just cut to it, practically everything is coated in horse shit. So we have cleaning crews shovelling that away, and disinfection will be by later.

“But that’s not even the worst of it. As those horses were flying off to who-knows-where, they were bucking and kicking all the way up, so now we’ve got downed power-lines, broadcast arials, cellphone towers. I don’t even want to imagine what the commercial pilots were going through.“

“But reconstruction is underway and is expected to be completed by — oh fucking damn it.” continued Ovitz, spotting a raccoon gingerly float into the sky.

 

Ski Ninjas: Quirky

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By Kyle Lees at Ski Ninjas

Liberal’s pro-marijuana stance is half-baked

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The supposed youth vote should cost more than a dime bag of weed
By Rachel Braeuer
Photos by Gary Lim

I’m too old to smoke pot anymore. Or maybe it’s too strong. Either way, it’s not like high school where you could share a joint with a friend and talk about what colour you’d be if you were a colour. Don’t get me wrong, on a whim it’s cool to just sit around my house, mindlessly eating Smartfood pop corn and watching TV followed by a rousing nap, but if I’m in public I start to reenact Louis CK’s bit about smoking pot in Kansas City. Maybe that’s why the Young Liberal’s “keep calm and legalize it” posters and bottle opener key chains struck a nerve with me. The “legalize it” campaign is a cheap way to pander to the youth vote without having to offer anything substantial to young people in Canada.

A lot gets said about the youth vote in Canada close to election time, but for the most part, nobody really gives a shit about us three out of every four years. The Liberals are smart to try to capitalize on that population in the mean time, but what do they have to offer besides a knock off of “keep calm and carry on”? Besides legal pot, it would seem like the answer is “nothing.” Checking the Liberal’s three key websites, their only real sentiment is how much Harper sucks, a tactic that worked really well for them in the last election. Health care? Yeah, it’s a good thing. Education? Yeah, people should have access to that. The best part, though, is their claim that they want to keep B.C.’s coast clear of crude oil tanker transit, when essentially they’ve just said, “Well, if you toss enough money our way, it might be worth our while.” That is not the radical spirit expressed by Trudeau when he placed a moratorium on tanker transit in ‘72; it’s just sad.

Remember Trudeau? Probably not, I barely do. But I remember the things he did, because they were worthwhile, and I know the things he said, because they’re worth repeating. He told a nation that he didn’t care what they did in their bedrooms, he penned our Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and he gave a bus full of people the finger without giving a single fuck that people were photographing the whole thing. Layton was a pretty badass guy, too. He never got his moment the way Trudeau did, but he affected the same charm. We were captivated by them, not for their policies, but by their realness. You never felt stupid while listening to them talk politics, you felt glad that someone was finally just telling it like it was, and more importantly was acknowledging you, your life, your work, and your needs.

If the Liberals want to achieve the kind of popularity they had previously, they’re going to have to give us something better than legal marijuana, crappy posters, bottle openers, and Bob Rae. I’m taking the bottle opener, but I’m not voting for you unless you give me a legitimate reason to believe you might actually do something different.

Letters to the editor, Sept. 24

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Get engaged, SFU

Photo by Adam Ovenell-Carter

Dear editor,

I am writing to you because I feel that the majority of undergraduate students aren’t aware of the opportunity before them to reshape SFU. The $65 million Build SFU project relies on the their involvement in student consultation to make the building a success. Consultation is built into every aspect of the development documents, so we need help. We need students to tell us what they think the future of SFU should be: what should it look like, feel like, sound like, and how we can make SFU better.

The SFSS and SFU administration have developed a joint steering committee to oversee this project at a high level. This committee will consist of SFSS directors and staff, as well as university administrators. Again, the key to the success of this project and committee is that your elected directors have the information they need from students to make decisions.

The flow of information should be from the ground up. Therefore, the SFSS is also developing an all-student committee to advise the project. This committee will be a diverse set of students who will plan the project. This is hands-on experience in project planning that no class can offer.

If students would rather comment from a distance, a consultation plan has been drafted, and needs feedback from them to make sure that it reaches as many people as possible. We are literally going to have consultations about how to consult. If students don’t make their expectations clear, we can’t create a university that fits their unique needs.

Many students are excited about this project, and the opportunities arising from it are already apparent in its infancy. The SFSS is hiring project workers to assist in the day-to-day work of Build SFU, and we have received over 50 applications in two weeks. Let’s carry that momentum into the development phase.

Once the committee and employees are in place, we will start reconstructing the Think Tank, ensuring that it is an open and inviting space for students. This space will have the same goals as the student union building: creating community and engaging students to make a difference. There will be town halls and brainstorms, as well as stakeholder meetings and years of discussion and development. Again, student involvement is the key piece in making this project a success.

Of your undergraduate readers, I ask: are you interested in sustainability? Come help us make this project as sustainable as possible. Are you interested in finance? Come help us structure tthe financing, solicit donations, and develop cost recovery strategies. Geography major? Help us design a space that fosters interaction and community. Are you a Clan fan or a campus band? What potential does a stadium create for you, and what should it look like? Every single undergraduate student at SFU is studying a field that is directly relevant to some part of Build SFU.

I encourage students to visit sfss.ca to learn more about the Build SFU project and find ways to get involved. Students, it is your money and your SFU. We need your input and help for you to get the most out of this.

Sincerely,

Jeff McCann

URO, SFSS

Dylan’s never-ending fistful of folk

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Bob Dylan’s Tempest is one of his best yet

By Patrick Chessel
Photos by Xavier Badosa

2012 marks the 50th anniversary of Bob Dylan’s self-titled debut album. This album introduced the world to a shaggy-haired troubadour who created thoughtful, introspective lyrics and performed them in a way that would move an entire generation.  The 71-year-old’s new release, Tempest, proves that he’s still got it. The album echoes Dylan’s three main song-writing influences: Woody Guthrie, Hank Williams, and Robert Johnson. Although some of the tracks have a really bluesy feel, Tempest explores that genre to a lesser degree than his last few albums: Dylan incorporates more country, folk, and jazz sounds into this collection. As a lifelong fan of Dylan, I have enjoyed most of his work, but truly believe that this may be one of the finest albums he has produced.

The opening track, “Duquesne Whistle”, is a foot-stomping country blues song. “Narrow Way” shows us that Dylan can still turn a phrase, using lines like: “If I can’t look up to you, you’ll surely have to look down on me someday.” His Robert Johnson influences shine through on this track.

Dylan’s hefty repertoire of folk music dates back to his days of hanging out in Greenwich Village in the early 60s with other folkies like Pete Seeger, Odetta, and the Clancy Brothers. His old routine of reworking of existing folk songs comes through again on Tempest. “Scarlet Town”, a song driven by banjo and fiddle, is his re-imagining of the traditional Scotch song “Barbara Allen”. While some have criticized Dylan over the last few decades for borrowing from the folk tradition, he recently responded in Rolling Stone Magazine that, “In folk and jazz, quotation is a rich and enriching tradition.” He has proven himself to be an exceptional interpreter of the American folk catalogue.

The only complaint this writer has towards Tempest is the artwork on the front cover. At first glance, one might assume this is the soundtrack for an 80s romance movie; it would have been more suitable to have something that fit the theme of the album. Luckily, the brilliant writing and performances make up for this oddly chosen cover. But the album inside is full of catchy melodies, well-thought arrangements, and exceptional instrumentation.

Bob Dylan plays Rogers Arena on Oct. 12 along with Dire Straits frontman Mark Knopfler.

TO/FROM: 100 years of railways and racism

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The Vancouver International Centre for Asian Arts combines art with history

By Tara Azadmard

Photos by James Crookall

On Friday, Sept.14, the Vancouver International Centre for Contemporary Asian Art, or Centre A, as it is more casually known, celebrated the 100th anniversary of the historic B.C. Electric Railway building. Since 1999 the building has housed the gallery, dedicated to contemporary Asian art and the promotion of dialogue and critical thought on the subject.

The exhibit, titled TO/FROM: B.C. Electric Railway 100 Years, measures Vancouver’s past with its present and weighs in on the significance of the building’s origin. As the city’s primary railway station, located at the junction of East Vancouver and downtown, the building has a history of facilitating intercultural movement and interaction. Accordingly, TO/FROM highlights the building’s importance in Vancouver  by uniting different aspects of ethnicity, racism, and movement.

Raymond Boisjoly, an Aboriginal artist of Haida and Quebecois descent from Chilliwack, restructured the old railway map to a text-based piece as his contribution to the event. In the vertical lines of text mimicking the path of the railway, he expresses regret in Cherokee font for failing to connect with his aboriginal culture.

The sentiment of nostalgia is apparent in Vanessa Kwan’s piece, “Vancouver Family.” After moving to Vancouver from Newfoundland, Kwan was impressed by the number of people who shared her last name. She recalls the telephone book presenting her with “pages upon pages of Kwan.” In her display she establishes “a moment at a distance of connection” by writing to all Kwans and asking them where they would like to go if they could travel anywhere. The artist says the various responses demonstrate how “we find ourselves being places and wanting to be elsewhere.”

Adhering to the concept of movement, the works of Ali Kazimi and Cindy Mochizuki highlight a bleaker Canadian past.

Kazimi’s collages, taken from his film Continuous Journey, draws attention to the oppressive role ethnic hierarchy played in Canadian history. The film, which will be shown at Centre A in October, uses the story of the Komagata Maru to educate viewers about the Continuous Journey Regulation of 1908, an act intended to prevent immigration by South Asians.

A step closer to present time, Mochizuki’s “Confections” makes us reflect upon a bitter memory in a display of sweets. In her miniature kashiten (candy shop) display, she reminds us of the thriving Japantown community in Vancouver before the Japanese internment.

Stan Douglas’s “The Malabar People” reaffirms Vancouver’s position as a multicultural hub, both historically and currently. Makiko Hara, the curator of the exhibit, has tactfully placed Douglas’s display behind the in-progress work of Evan Lee. Lee focuses on racism, examining its role in our present society through a recreation of the image of the Ocean Lady migrant ship, which overwhelmed media outlets in 2009.

Annabel Vaughan, co-curator of the exhibit with Hara, said the works of the exhibit show us that “we’re all other.” The building has served as a hub for various social, business, and cultural exchanges, and though and its fate is uncertain after it was been sold in August, Hara is optimistic that Centre A will not lose its home anytime soon.

TO/FROM will be on exhibit at the Centre A at 2 West Hastings Street until Nov. 10.

Clybourne Park a relevant racial discussion

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 Whites and colours are not washed separately in this companion play to 1959’s A Raisin in the Sun.

By Esther Tung
Photos by David Cooper


“How is a white woman like a tampon?” is one of the many pressing questions on racial privilege raised in Clybourne Park. A no-holds-barred script mocks white guilt and the common tendency to identify racism as individual acts of meanness, rather than institutionalized behaviour. With racism as a stand-in for other forms of oppression, Clybourne Park finds itself a relevant guest in Vancouver.

1959’s A Raisin in the Sun was the first Broadway production written by an African-American woman, based on Lorraine Hansberry’s own experience growing up in the midst of a controversial lawsuit that threatened to rescind the purchase of her black family’s home in a hostile all-white neighbourhood. Clybourne Park borrows the premise of Raisin, as well as a minor character, and explores racism through real estate from the perspective of the white family moving out.

On an unusually chaotic morning for mourning parents Bev and Russ, they are visited by their clergyman, and accosted by a nosy, overbearing neighbour Karl and his deaf wife, Betsy. A slow build-up to the first act tips over the wall as Karl rambles his concerns over the black family moving in to replace Bev and Russ. Karl’s rant is a liberal’s nightmare ––“Find me some skiing Negroes!” — but as he’s in the midst of it, you look over to the far side of the stage, and suddenly remember that Francine and Albert, Bev’s black helper and her husband, have never left the room, and the message of the play clicks together.

Given the financial position, would Francine and Albert like to move into this white neighbourhood? Karl urges them for an answer, but it is not given on equal footing.

After a 20-minute intermission, the intricate stage set up of the first act has been torn down completely. Act two jumps forward 50 years, when America has voted in its first black president, and Chicago’s ghettoized Clybourne Park is on the precipice of gentrification.

A discussion on renovating the house to comply with bylaws highlights the resentments in each party, and suddenly degenerates into a scathing, horrifyingly funny one-two punch-and-punch-back of racist jokes.

But in the midst of the scathing commentary and witticisms, the play does not forget itself. Lingering behind the curtain all along, upstairs, and in that mysterious trunk, is the ghost of Kenneth, the son who killed himself. The coda returns to 1959 for a poignant, sentimental scene. “I do believe that things are going to change for the better,” Bev says to her son, somewhat naively, prompting a comparison of the two acts.

Have things changed for the better between then and now? How accurate a reflection are the characters on us, on the way we talk about race, class and gender?

In class, we throw out straw man arguments and regurgitate theories from our professors when discussing the exploitative working conditions of factories in developing countries, the victims of the sex trade, and other weights of the world, yet it seems the furthest thing from reality when you put privileged middlemen – the authors of our readings and our professors – in between us and the issue.

Clybourne Park is a useful complement to a university education, a stark reminder of the way that oppressed groups and those with less privilege are discussed in political and intellectual conversations, and most of all in academia.