By Gary Lim
Mystic Gary: The Electric Company
By Gary Lim
Dear Mr. “Mystic” Gary Limbinowitz,
This is the final notice you will be receiving from Santech Power. Your residency has failed to pay the outstanding charges on your electricity bills for the past three (3) months.
We have attempted to contact you several times through mail and by phone, but as of March 5, 2012 we have yet to receive a response. As we have stated several times before, if full payment is impossible, we have several flexible payment plans. Failure on your part to either pay the balance or contact a Santech Power representative will result in electricity being shut off from the listed residence.
Regards,
Bill Meyers
C.E.O. Santech Power
Dear Mr. Meyers,
I must say your letter has taken me by great surprise, like the noble cockroach when it finds its way into your cornflakes.
As for you query, I am afraid I do not understand. Electricity? What use would I have for that? Clearly I am but a humble Asian mystic who lives atop the High Mountains in a dirt-floor shack dispensing advice to those who would scale the treacherous cliffs to seek my sage wisdom. Or those who read The Peak.
From this, I can only surmise that you must have me confused with this other person. But being bound to an oath I made with a magic owl hundreds of years ago, I must do all I can to help you resolve your plight.
Anyways Mr. Meyers, I can entirely sympathize with your plight. Matters of money lighten the pockets, but burden the soul. But if you would take a moment to reflect, you may have realization that perhaps this person who refuses to pay their power bill, is doing you a great favour.
You see, your insistence on funds will not lead to future happiness. The central tenet of Buddhism is that suffering brings pain, so by repeatedly skipping out on their debts this person, whomever they may be, is actually helping you achieve true happiness through inner peace and enlightenment. Which might I add is easily worth a couple months of free electricity. Again, not that I would use that or necessarily know what it is.
As the cicada’s song draws still when the hawk nears— you guys probably aren’t buying this are you? Crap.
May your heavy pockets cause you to sink to bottom of the Yangtze for all time,
—Mystic Gary
SFU Surrey celebrates 10 years
Robots, bugs, and high-heeled shoes demonstrate SFU research at Surrey open house
SFU Surrey turned 10 last week, and to celebrate the campus hosted an open house featuring food, music, demonstrations, and a visit from SFU president Andrew Petter. The event was highly publicized as a celebration for 10 years of operation but also served to attract prospective students, familiarize the public with the campus, and allow new students to get the lay of the land.
In the Dale B. Regehr hall, SFSS FCAT student representative and emcee Jenni Rempel, introduced the first act of the function: Jet Black, a local indie one-woman band. This was followed by performances from the SFU Cheer Squad, Vancouver guitarist Dorian Hare, and Dirty Radio — a band from North Vancouver that ramped up the party atmosphere among groups of adolescents in the mezzanine. Beverages, samosas, pizza, and veggie platters were served in several locations as appetizers. Petter joined Rempel in addressing the main stage audience, in praising the Surrey campus for the efforts it has made in engaging students, research, and the community. Following, to celebrate SFU Surrey’s 10th birthday, cupcakes were served from multi-tiered decorative platters.
Throughout the four-hour event, seminars were held informing attendees on admissions process, scholarship opportunities, co-op education, continuing studies, and career services available for SFU students. Faculties within the university also held interactive exhibits for programs offered at SFU Surrey such as computing science, interactive arts and technology, and world literature. Activities and programs mainly served to open informal communication channels between school, staff, students, and parents.
The criminology room featured a demo of maggots dunked in paint and then placed on to sheets of blank paper to create patterns. The display was meant to acclimatize students to working with insects, useful partners in the forensics lab for determining time of death. Dr. Gail Anderson was on site to answer questions regarding the School of Criminology’s forensic research program.
SFU’s School of Interactive Arts and Technology (SIAT) featured systems designed and created by enrolled students. Noro, a portable rainwater catching and filtering device was one such apparatus. “It’s used for places where access to water is a problem. Our system filters one litre of water per minute and could foreseeably provide five to six people with water,” explained Jordan Manning, an SFU SIAT student and part of the Noro team. “We’ve had good responses at the open house and at a showcase our program held. We also had a symposium on interaction design where we placed third. It was an interaction competition and this was an industrial design so this was quite an honour to have placed as well as we did.”
Head Over Heels, a project nearing the final stages of development, is the brainchild of SIAT students Nasim Jahangiri and Pantea Shahsavani; their heeled shoe aims to take the aches out of spending a day in heels by integrating a pressure sensor and vibrator into the footwear which actuates based on metrics. Another feature of the heel is that it can be remodeled as either a two- or fiveinch heel varying comfort and esthetics. “Everyone at the open house seems really interested in our project,” said Jahangiri.
Amar Marzook, an instructor within the mechatronics systems engineering program demonstrated the operation of different robots built by students. “Lego NXT has all the things engineers need to play with to learn; which is basically motors, sensors, and mechanical structures; using all these components to create a machine with a function they have in mind. This is the main key to having students enjoy their work while learning. In upper level classes, they learn the intricacies of how these components work on the inside, like motor controls.”
Think Tank goes mobile
By David Dyck
The Simon Fraser Student Society’s (SFSS) student union building project is moving out of their central location in the Maggie Benson Centre to the halls of SFU in what it is calling the “mobile Think Tank”. The Think Tank was set up in mid-February to generate student input on a proposed student union building, supply information, and answer questions.
“Since not everyone can make it out to the Maggie Benson Centre, maybe it’s not accessible to everyone if they’re not in the area all the time,” said Build SFU ambassador Helen Chan. “The mobile Think Tank still provides information to students before the referendum but it allows us to take it around campus and promote that way.”
“The whole idea is that we’re reaching out to as many students as possible and the mobile Think Tank allows us to do that,” said SFSS president Jeff McCann.
A recent cost estimate put the price tag at $63,630,000 for the proposed SUB, which would be placed in the building where the pool currently sits. A referendum question will appear on the ballot in the upcoming general election, asking students if they want a levy instituted to support the project. Concerns have been raised about the cost of the project, and many departmental student unions have been having their meetings inside the Think Tank to discuss the issue of the levy. So far, the Chemistry Student Society, the Business Administration Student Society, and the Biology Student Union have formally endorsed Build SFU. Forum is meeting in two weeks to decide on whether or not to support the levy.
Students will see the mobile Think Tank around the Burnaby campus on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
Theatre review: Ignorance
By Esther Tung
Photos by Jason Tsang
You may not have found the meaning of life, but Ignorance gives you all the right questions to ask
Bliss became elusive once our prefrontal cortexes outgrew ignorance. We spend our lives in search of happiness, but are prohibited by evolutionary design from stopping to smell the roses for too long. What is the meaning of life then — contentment itself, or the never-ending search for it? Or is it something else altogether?
Puppets, managed by a trio of shadowy men in button-up rompers, unfold the simple, yet evocative narrative of seeking the answer to the big question that has been plaguing humans since the evolution of sentient thought. In Discovery Channel documentary style, an omniscient narrator follows the first man and woman in their search for greener pastures, driven by their mutated cognizance of desire and imagination. The pair, created out of what appears to be a rock and some twigs, gibber at each other only in cave-talk, and indeed the puppeteers never say a real word the entire time, but create dialogue through non-verbal cues instead. Sentiments get lost once or twice in a squabble drawn out too long for comedy’s sake or just because it was a difficult one to convey, but the narrator keeps viewers focused on the big picture. The cave couple’s story thread wears thin towards the end of the play, though whimsical and dark snapshots from contemporaria are spliced in to keep the palette cleansed.
This is a story that can be told only by their puppets, which were all designed with care and attention to detail, but made with rough handling in mind. Old Trout employs comedic tricks that appeal to our more primitive side, which seems rather appropriate, though it comes off juvenile at times — puppets are intentionally knocked into things at stage exits or dropped from up high without warning.
Ignorance is not self-indulgent in its exploration of the theme, as it could easily have been, and encourages viewers to create their own meaning rather than pushing them in any one philosophical direction. Ignorance strikes that delicate balance between being light-hearted, yet thought-provoking, and does so without patronizing its audience.
Ignorance will be showing at the Cultch until March 10. Buy tickets here.
Three Clan athletes earn GNAC end-of-season honours
The men’s and women’s basketball seasons could not have been more different. The women had a strong season from start to finish with only a few bumps on the road, while the men’s year was tumultuous, to say the least. The women made history by being the first Canadian school to win an NCAA playoff game, while the men probably got into the record books for most inactive players. The women’s season was the apple to the men’s moldy orange.
And although the two teams played drastically different seasons, there was one thing that tied them together: superstar performances from a few superstar players. Now, Justin Brown from the men’s side, and Nayo Raincock-Ekunwe and Kristina Collins from the women’s are being recognized by the GNAC for their incredible efforts this season.
Raincock-Ekunwe broke her own record this year by posting a near-unbelievable 22 double doubles. Considering the team played 27 games, that feat becomes all the more impressive. She finished second in the GNAC in points, but first in points-per-game; her 358 rebounds were first in the conference, and it wasn’t close (Seattle Pacific’s Nyesha Sims was second with 213). She was the proverbial immovable object for the Clan, borderline unstoppable around the hoop. There’s no doubt she’s the star of the team, if not the GNAC, and that wasn’t lost on her coach.
“Nayo is one of the best athletes in Division II basketball,” stated head coach Bruce Langford. “She has the ability to dominant games.”
As flattered as Raincock-
Ekunwe was to earn GNAC all-conference first-team honours, she wasn’t about to take all the credit herself.
“It’s a really big honour,” said Raincock-Ekunwe. “Being unanimously voted to be on the team from the other coaches feels great, but I think the team has improved a lot. Our shooting is a lot better, our teamwork is better, we play together, and a lot of people have stepped up this year whereas last year two or three players scored most of the baskets. Everyone came to play this year.”
One of those teammates who certainly came to play was point guard Kristina Collins. She didn’t make the GNAC first-team, but was given honourable mentions.
The secret’s out on Collins; one GNAC coach called her the best point guard in the league. She directs the offense, and her chemistry with Raincock-Ekunwe is undeniable. Her trademarked three-pointer is simply clutch, and has won games for the Clan.
“In my mind Kristina is more than an honourable mention,” added Langford. “She certainly is to our team. She is an integral part of our offence and much of what she does goes unnoticed. She led the league in threes and hit many of them at key times.”
In a season full of bright spots, these two shone brilliantly among the rest.
And while the men experienced a season of turmoil, Justin Brown was one key reason the team got as far as they did. He led the team (and finished fourth in the conference) with 17.6 points per game, and finished seventh in the GNAC in steals. He was a spark plug for a sputtering Clan engine, and despite a rough season, he graduates from the program on a high note.
“It feels good to be recognized and to know that my hard work on and off the court
paid off,” said Brown of his GNAC all-conference second-team honours.
“I certainly couldn’t have had success without the coaches and my teammates so I’m just really happy for
my whole team and the whole school.”
It’s a nice bit of light shed
on an otherwise pretty dark season for the men’s side, though things do look brighter as the team begins to prepare for next year.
Regardless, Brown, along with Raincock-Ekunwe and Collins, were special players for
their respective teams, and earned every bit of their newfound recognition.
Hodgson’s departure hardly a loss for the Canucks
The 2012 NHL trade deadline was unofficially known as “Rick Nash Watch”, as the superstar winger was placed on the market by the floundering Columbus Blue Jackets. However, he wasn’t dealt, and as a result, Monday’s biggest shocker was the trade that sent former Canuck Cody Hodgson to the Buffalo Sabres for big Zack Kassian.
This season, Cody Hodgson emerged as one of the league’s hottest rookies despite playing limited minutes. Since his junior hockey days, Hodgson has been a star. He was the Canadian Hockey League player of the year in 2009 and he also led Canada to a gold medal victory at the 2009 World Junior Hockey Championships. But his development as an NHL star has been anything but smooth.
Prior to the Canucks’ training camp in 2009, the Canucks medical staff had apparently misdiagnosed Hodgson’s back injury from his training during the off-season. As a result, Hodgson decided to seek alternative medical options regarding his back after being cut from training camp. This created a media-instigated conflict between Hodgson and the Canucks coaching staff after head coach Alain Vigneault called the young centre out for what he believed to be an excuse for his poor play that led to him being cut.
Eventually Hodgson recovered from his injury and participated in the Canucks’ training camp last season. Although he did not make the team, he began the season playing for the Canucks’ farm team, then the Manitoba Moose. Hodgson was eventually called up late last season and was a part of the Canucks playoff run.
This season, playing limited minutes, Hodgson has been challenging for his place as rookie of the year. He has shown Vancouver fans that he may have had the most natural skillset on the team.
Although Hodgson had success this season, he continued to struggle to find a place on this team. With Henrik Sedin and Ryan Kesler ahead of him on the depth chart, the ice time was not going to increase. For more ice time, Hodgson would have to play on the wing but it’s not as easy as switching positions as it is in say, NHL 12. He is most comfortable and natural at the center position, but he wasn’t going to get a chance to shine there in Vancouver. Now, he’ll get that chance in Buffalo.
Many fans were outraged at the deal, but the trade ironically responds to what every Canucks fan has wanted since last year’s Stanley Cup defeat: someone to keep the Milan Lucic’s of the world honest. In Zack Kassian, the Canucks received a young power-forward who is tough and has the skills to become a premiere goal scorer, a la Todd Bertuzzi circa 2003. Kassian is no scrub; he is a former first-round pick and is a year younger than Hodgson. And if you need a reason to care about him, just remember it took Cody Hodgson to get him
With an almost guaranteed top three position in the Western Conference standings, the new acquisitions of Kassian, Sami Pahlsson, and Marc-Andre Gragnani are answers to the short-term needs of the Canucks in preparation of another deep playoff run. Pahlsson is more than capable of slotting in for Hodgson’s vacant spot. And, with Kassian’s toughness, Byron Bitz, and Dale Weise may be pushed out of the regular line-up in favour
of the young forward with a bit more scoring touch. As well, Gragnani adds depth to the defense core.
What remains to be seen are the long-term consequences of this trade. Sure, Hodgson was not going to take ice time away from Henrik Sedin and Ryan Kesler but what about in a few years?
Kesler is still young but with the gritty and rugged style that he plays, he is more prone to injuries than Henrik Sedin. It would not be a surprise if Kesler’s play deteriorates sooner than later. The Canucks got what they needed for the present, but what will define this deal is how each player pans out for their new teams.
However, if the Canucks win the Stanley Cup in the next few years, it’s safe to say the Canucks would have made the right decision trading away Hodgson.
Renney earns 500th win
Entering the year with a lot of promise and just as much intrigue, the 2012 edition of the Clan softball team is off to a fantastic start. The team, at the time of press, is rolling along with an 8–1 record and a perfect 4–0 mark in the GNAC. They’ve outscored opponents 61–35 and are at, or near the top of almost every statistical category. Still, none of those figures could be classified as the story of the season. That honour would belong to head coach Mike Renney, who earned his 500th career collegiate victory last week.
The big win came in a two-game sweep of Western Washington University last week at home on Beedie Field. In that sweep, the Clan rolled over the WWU Wolves 11–1 before besting them 7–5 in the second half of the doubleheader. Those two wins have helped the Clan move right into top spot in the GNAC.
Buoyed by solid pitching from former walk-on wonder Cara Lukawesky and strong hitting through the lineup, the Clan mercied the Wolves and ended the first game in just five innings, giving Renney 499 wins and a chance to earn the milestone in the second match.
The second match, as the score would indicate, was much more competitive. The Clan hopped out to a 5–1 lead, but sophomore pitcher Kelsie Hawkins got herself into some hot water when she loaded the bases in the sixth inning. With the potential go-ahead run at the plate, Renney made a decision to bring Lukawesky back in. The Clan’s lead quickly disappeared, but Lukawesky at least got them out of the inning tied at five apiece. It would be Brittany Ribeiro who would play hero, as she cranked a two-run home run in the top of the seventh to give the Clan the lead, more than enough room for Lukawesky to work with to seal the game.
“It’s big to beat Western Washington,” said Renney of the two victories. “They were one of the top teams in the GNAC last year and . . . they were still ranked ahead of us in the preseason.”
But it was his coaching decision to put Lukawesky into the second game that arguably saved the game and earned him his impressive 500th win. It’s those types of tough decisions which more often than not end up being the right ones,that put Renney in the position to reach his incredible milestone. He’s had 499 others before it, but this one,he’ll savour.
“They all add up pretty quick, it was good to get the monkey off the back early in the season,” said Renney. “I’ll probably remember that one for awhile. The athletes played well today and I’m happy for them.
“They deserved to win,” he added. But if anyone deserved the win, it was the man in the dugout, cheering them on.
