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SPOOF: SFU Productions announces three upcoming films

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By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer

Engaged & Unstaged

SFU Productions is working with Netflix on a reality dating show involving a group of randomly-selected SFU students. Students are blindfolded and brought to a classified area nearby, where they will mingle amongst each other with the goal of finding a perfect match. The only way to remove your blindfold is to get engaged by the end of the day. Once a pair declares their unconditional love and someone gets down on one knee, they’re brought out of the classified area to go on designated dates. This includes s’mores roasting and a romantic trip to the avocado. 

Despite what people may say about modern love, romance is far from dead. SFU Productions wants you to know that at SFU, love is in the air. It’s also part of their initiative to keep up the school’s reputation as the “leading engaged university.”

The finale ends with a marriage at Convocation Hall by none other than Joy Johnson. Only time will tell which couples make it in the real world. I mean, the marriage is only valid on the mountain anyways. 

Adventures in the AQ: A Race Against Time 

The Amazing Race is back . . . at SFU! Teams of two risk it all to complete challenges in the Academic Quadrangle. Hosted by Stinks the Raccoon, teams are given clues at multiple stops to guide them through a variety of physical and mental challenges that lead them to their final destination at an unclassified location.

The mysterious AQ is an adventurer’s playground. Challenges include locating a room on the 5th floor and ordering a secret menu item from Renaissance Café. Students are competing for bursaries towards next semester’s tuition (or, if they choose, to opt out of a bursary and use the money to put towards a month’s rent). Rumour has it all participants must sign a contract that states they must be willing to read from a teleprompter and will not complain about producers smelling like dirty garbage. The producers also get exclusive rights to wash their paws in the AQ pond.

The Mystery of The Study 

The Study is gone (or is it?). In this docu-series, investigators uncover the mystery of the forgotten pub on SFU’s Burnaby campus. There have been conspiracy theories floating around that point to the pub still existing in a nondescript location hidden in the depths of campus. People say it was stolen by an unidentified group and turned into a member-only speakeasy. Hosted by SFU Burnaby fog, an expert on mystery, this investigative documentary will try to answer why people have been spotted with a racoon-shaped stamp on their wrist around campus. 

This just in: SFU Productions released a statement that The Mystery of The Study has been cancelled, due to conflict of interest.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society