Spoof
Who killed McFogg?
April 11, 2025The search for McFogg has finally ended. After years of wondering what happened to our beloved Scottish mascot, the dog has finally turned up back at SFU . . . but not in the way anyone wanted him to. McFogg was found floating in the reflection pond holding an onion, with syllabi for economics courses floating around him. Five suspects have been apprehended for their possible involvement in McFogg’s demise — who do you think killed our beloved pookie? Avocado Anthony [caption id="attachment_131277" align="alignnone" width="244"] ILLUSTRATION: Yan Ting Leung / The Pawn[/caption] While he doesn’t have quite the history with…
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SFUtile Facts
April 5, 2025Questions What did staff find in the SFU Reflecting Pond when they cleaned it out in 2008? What was SFU’s first mascot? According to Wikipedia, what was the 22nd busiest airport in Canada by passenger traffic in 2024? What is…
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Pictionary with Stix the Burnt-Out Candle
April 5, 2025In his free time, to decompress for the capitalist machine, our favourite comic protagonist Stix the Burnt Out Candle likes to play a version of pictionary where he draws pictures, and has his friends guess the hidden messages. Can you…
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Trump loses historic match of geopolitical chess
April 5, 2025Editor’s note: This article is rated “CIR” for Chess and International Relations enthusiasts. May contain references to your favourite or most disliked world leader. Knowledge of chessboard coordinates is encouraged. Reader discretion is advised. Welcome to the White House Situation…
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Introducing SFU faculty Pokémon cards
April 4, 2025Did you know, raccoons aren’t the only critters roaming campus? Here are some of the Pokémon you will face as you wander the concrete halls of the mountain fortress — each belonging to one of SFU’s faculties. Networkat Beedie School…
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Lotería: SFU edition
April 4, 2025SFU’s new pre-convocation event was honestly . . . not bad. There were the usual finger food and photo booth with the typical cardboard cutouts, as well as a couple of SFU-inspired board games, including my childhood favourite, Lotería. The…
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“I fucking quit,” announces Mr. Monopoly
April 3, 2025Editor’s note: The Pawn obtained this letter via time travel through a portal gun we discovered in our games closet. Dear valued constituents, I write to you at the dawn of the year 3000 to make a very important announcement.…
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Dismantlers of SFU — The Red Leafs’ Catan
April 3, 2025In a stuffy boardroom on SFU’s Burnaby campus, our most esteemed president Joy Johnson listened to interns pitch new ideas about streamlining SFU’s budget. “Make governance easier and more convenient for SFU’s executives by simplifying budget initiatives onto a Catan…
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Trump bans Go Fish
April 3, 2025Since taking office in January, US President Donald Trump has passed a slew of executive orders. While some have generated significant buzz, skepticism, and pushback, others have managed to evade the hook of the public’s eye. One such order that…
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TRANSCRIPT: Survivor of a first-date Cards Against Humanity game testifies in court
April 1, 2025In an empty broken-down 143 Burquitlam Station bus at the upper bus loop, SFU FASS student Halley Cringer was having a typical first date with SFU Beedie student Jordan Belfort. Ms. Cringer reluctantly assisted Mr. Belfort with a colouring sheet…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]