What niche characterized your queer adolescence?

Yeah, I think I'll pretend my experiences encompass everyone's on the spectrum

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ILLUSTRATION: Van Mai / The Peak

By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer

Have you ever realized you were queer and then realized the signs were definitely there when you were a teenager? This quiz will take you back to those endearingly embarrassing days. 

Warning: doing this quiz may induce memories of songs you only know because of Glee

  1. How did you spend your precious weekends? 

A) 2 a.m. at a Denny’s with your class of 30 as well as your stage crew, scream-singing the lyrics to the musical you just finished. It’s a tradition, okay? Don’t look at us like that.

B) You planned a picnic with your three best friends and baked a small cake to celebrate nothing in particular. Persephone herself would probably smile down at you!

C)You’re playing Stardew Valley mods because you need a little ~ variety ~ in your farming simulators.

  1. What quote still makes your heart soft?

A) “ . . .  And you know what they did? They danced!” You will never forgive Hadestown for destroying you inside out. Never.

B) “When my time comes around / Lay me gently in the cold dark earth / No grave can hold me down / I’ll crawl home to her,” because Hozier makes you scream like an actual feral wolf.

C) “We accept the love we think we deserve,” because as soon as you read it, you knew you would reblog that same damn quote with 50 different PicMonkey-edited sunset photos just to feel the sweet, sweet angst.

  1. What outfit would you don to face the bitter dungeon of high school?

A) A baseball shirt and leggings, the most comfortable thing you could find in your closet. You need a flexible outfit for all the finger guns you’re going to make that day.

B) A short-sleeved mustard yellow blouse with a long maxi skirt dotted with flowers. You are hoping to be mistaken for an actual peony by a cutie walking by.

C) A worn red plaid button-up, jeans, a beanie, and black boots. Your Sleeping With Sirens shirt was in the wash, unfortunately. (They were also an unfortunate pick for your emotional support emo band, kid.)

  1. Pick the Greek myth that hurt you the most.

A) Orpheus and Eurydice. THEY WERE SO CLOSE!

B) Medusa, because you were tricked into believing that she was the villain for such a large part of your life.

C) Patroclus and Achilles. Madeline Miller has your heart in knots for writing a love so tender.

If you picked mostly As, you were a theatre kid!

You really didn’t anticipate how much you’d grow to love your dusty high school theatre and the shows you found, but here you are. This is true even if you spend every moment as an adult embarrassed because of it.

Are you disappointed by how invested you were in a show that glorifies the founding fathers of America? Do you have a target with Ryan Murphy’s face on it? Maybe, but you found your goofy family in this room filled with asbestos. And you have every right to belt those sad Waitress songs all you want! 

If you picked mostly Bs, you loved cottagecore!

If you see one more frog in round glasses, you might start crying. You call your messy table maximalism, and you don’t think your poetry is really poetry. Your Spotify is pretty much a shrine to the one pop queen you’ve decided to worship and music you’d consider dancing barefoot in the forest to. The copious amounts of plants that you’ve adopted and named currently have the best shot at your inheritance.

And most importantly, your playlist has songs that make you feel the most queer emotion of all: yearning.

If you picked mostly Cs, you were deep into fandom communities!

Your villain origin story began when your favourite shows queerbaited characters right before your eyes — that, and you likely had a Homestuck phase. You feel a little betrayed by the internet for turning you into a gremlin, but you know that you can never find the same familiar kind of disastrous fandom energy anywhere else. 

Now? You’re an adult that plays Dungeons & Dragons because you want your character to develop and grow in the way you wish your favorite characters did. And you definitely play an elf or a tiefling.