By: Poopabella Fudgerton, Quiz Master We already know that raccoons rule our campus — they roam the halls, guard the parking lots, and wait for the perfect opportunity to give you the jumpscare of your life (all while looking adorable). A raccoon showing up to lecture would be pretty interesting . . . but what if it shat during your lecture? Yes, it does indeed happen behind the scenes. Even better yet, what if we could match your personality to a specific type of raccoon shitter? Take this quiz to find out! The weekend’s over (cries internally). What are you…
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By: Phone Min Thant, Staff Writer Welcome to Simon Fraser University. You are yet another facility students pay dearly for, only to find out that you are still recovering from the damages of your first year. Take this quiz to…
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By: Michelle Young, Copy Editor Your Blenz order (warm milk) is wrong. You: Spit it out immediately. Despite the barista’s apology and offer to remake your drink, you insist on talking to the manager and lecture them about how you…
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By: Izzy Cheung, staff writer Let’s start the day off properly! What time are you waking up at for a full day of classes? Three hours before my first class. I like to get a morning run and a healthy…
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By: Kaja Antic, Sports Writer True or False: The Los Angeles Kings drafted a future Baseball Hall of Famer in the 1984 NHL Entry Draft. True! Tom Glavine, who played 22 seasons in Major League Baseball (MLB) as a pitcher…
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By: Saije Rusimovici, Staff Writer We’ve all spent at least one sleepless night hopelessly scrolling through Buzzfeed quizzes until 2:00 a.m., but I bet none of you know what SFU Campus you’re most like. Now is the time to find…
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By: Hana Hoffman, Peak Associate and Bug Expert Hello, fellow creatures! My name is Carlos Buzz, and I’m a graduate of entomology. I study similarities between human and insect personalities. A lot of habits and moods are surprisingly similar, and…
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By: Kelly Chia, Humour Editor Hello my darling sprouts, You may remember my mother before me, Sylvia XVII, whose express purpose was to divine your perfect style by the mere art of quiz-taking. Now, for my modern perspective as you…
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By: Luke Faulks, Opinions Editor The world is going to end in eight years thanks to climate change. Fortunately, the same corporations responsible for the planet’s rapid decline have elected to provide you with a means to survive the heat-induced…
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By: Kelly Chia, Staff Writer Hello my little seeds, Have you longed for the perfect type of clothing for your flesh vessel? Be not afraid. I am Sylvia XVII. I have descended directly from my plane to your simple world to…
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