We’ve all been there — faced with the question of, “Ohhh, have you seen [insert obscure name of show here]?” Yet you have not a fart-in-the-wind idea of what they’re talking about. But don’t worry, you have choices to escape the crossroad of feeling completely uncultured or just downright indifferent.
APPROACH 1
The Eager Beaver
This approach is for those good days when you’re feeling inquisitive, engaged, and patient. It usually begins, “No, I’ve never seen it, but what’s it about?” Then the dragon comes out of its cage. You could be in for a personal recital of a short novella about the show’s plot, character descriptions, and IMDB page of the director. . . but you asked. We’ll check back with you later.
APPROACH 2
Throw Me a Bone
You’re a nice person — but that doesn’t mean you want more than a simple drop of the show’s title and maybe a genre label. So you ask for a little help, something along the lines of, “No, I’ve never seen it. Is it similar to anything?” Well played, my friend. This way you can grasp onto something concrete that will actually help you remember to Google it later. . . or not.
APPROACH 3
The Judge Judy
You value your time. It was because of people like you that review websites were created and food critics exist — all time savers. If you wanted to waste your time trying new things that you potentially may or may not like, you’d be like everyone else . . . and you’re not into that. Your main interest in this mysterious series is “How many seasons does it have?” “What else has the director worked on?” “Are the actors well-known?” You’re searching for a show to land you some serious cultural capital or bust.
APPROACH 4
The Polite Polly
You see their mouth moving, but you totally zoned out five minutes ago when they said the plot was “hard to explain.” You’re stuck. Questioning things further will only lead to them sending you funny GIFs from the show later and the expectation that you’re going to sink your teeth into all 48 seasons that night. Thankfully there’s an out! Tested and approved by a bitter research team of former BlockBuster employees comes the best response for when you have become oversaturated with information, “I’ll add it to my list of things to watch.” Just like that you’ve slipped blissfully out of the Netflix conversation and can piggyback onto [insert topic of your choice here].
APPROACH 5
The Game Over
This is when all the day’s energy has been spent and your inner demons collect to present your response as a greasy and blunt, “Nope.” The End.
