Boohoo, Woohoo

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons

Boohoo: Exercise

Exercise? Ain’t nobody got time for that! You have last-minute essays and finals to procrastinate on. There is no time in your already busy schedule to go work out at the gym. Do you really want to part with more of your hard-earned cash? You already have one membership digging into your wallet on a monthly basis, and you can’t expect those episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt to watch themselves.

Moreover, exercise is hard work; it makes you sweaty and disgusting. The only way you’ll start to see results is if you eat healthier, too. And be honest: You are not ready to give up that BBQ Bacon Roller value box with optional chocolate lava cake anytime soon. Sure, beach season is on the horizon and you want to look good for everyone. But do you know what’s sexier than a six pack? Confidence in who you are.

Woohoo: Jazzercise

Are you looking to tone that gluteus maximus but find yourself intimidated by Crossfit and P90X? Well, look no further, friends. I have just the thing you’ve been searching for. Slip into some comfortable neon spandex and dust off your parents’ old videotape collection. It’s time to Jazzercise!

Get those quads squealing with delight as you dance your way to a better bod. Embrace the workout sensation that has lasted over 40 years. Get up and boogie with Zumba’s aerobic arch nemesis and shed those unwanted pounds away. Follow a workout by instructor Judi Sheppard Missett, a woman so eccentric and sexually frustrated that you’ll continue working out just to hear what she says next.

Above all, revisit a time when group fitness classes didn’t take themselves so seriously, but instead focused on making things fun and accessible for everyone.